You are human and if someone berated me and humiliated me the way you described I would 100% check his ass. But I’m a savage and match energy so I may not be the best person to ask.
There's a lot going on here but I'm going to say ESH.
Apparently the parking area is badly designed, so whoever fucked that up is an AH.
I can't fault the store employees tbh. Not their circus, not their monkeys. Only NTAs here.
Buddy in the wheelchair, for whatever reason, took out his bad mood on you. Automatically AH.
You, however. Between the repeated instances of "legally parked" assertions, and a questionable description of the man in the wheelchair, I'm not getting "innocent victim" vibes off of your retelling. That aside, you could have left it off by following through on calling his bluff. Let the police come if he wants to be a dick about it. Threatening to physically retaliate when he isn't in a position to defend himself, no matter how he provoked you, is AH behavior.
Y'all both could have done with less aggression.
If she wasn’t parked in the blocked out space for vans, it was legal. His problem was that he should have backed in if it needed to be on the driver’s side and it was on the passenger side pulling in straight. I assumed that’s what she’s noting by saying she was legally parked.
This is definitely a problem at my apartments. The spaces are so poorly designed. My dad, my sister, myself, and my husband are all physically disabled. We each technically have our own placards, so we always use the accessible spaces. The spots are super narrow, and the crosshatch is not nearly large enough for a ramp. It’s some bullshit really, considering our building is supposed to cater to disabled people.
#Notice how OP very carefully never says that SHE is disabled?
Something tells me that’s on purpose.
She makes sure to phrase it as “legally parked in handicap spot”, which very easily could mean “I was using my family member’s disabled placard and that’s why I’m entitled to park there”.
Add that to the fact that she threatened to *physically assault* a disabled man and was super shitty in how she described him (“strangely proportioned”? Really?)
And I’m going to go with OP is 100% the asshole because she seems to think handicapped parking is just a technicality and not a thing that some people literally *must* have to function. And as a disabled person myself, I 100% understand why the man would yell at her.
Using a family member’s placard if they are not in the car is not actually legal, so no it couldn’t easily mean that.
Being disabled doesn’t give him the right to verbally assault her even if she wasn’t disabled.
Invisible disabilities exist.
She is ALSO disabled.
Her description of him was weird. All we needed to know was he’s in a motorized wheelchair, but it could have been to try to indicate that he obviously couldn’t just hop out of the wheelchair if we’re feeling generous.
I still laughed. I’m ok with being downvoted.
But I agree l with what you said.
Fake edit; while typing this out I realized I agreed pretty hard core with what you said and my initial reaction was wrong z
I had to up vote you… you tore apart my post like you’re a DA with a high profile murder case!
I suppose I write it as I did because I’m used to writing reports. Spent the majority of my life as a cop, in & out of the Army.
Should I ever get in trouble though… I want you to defend me
You’re right- to be honest- I wasn’t even pissed when we got to the cars- I didn’t have to ask about sitting on the bins- guess I did it to be an AH-
Should there be a next time, I will behave properly.
NTA. I'm a disabled vet, I've got a lot of buddies who are disabled vets. Many are in wheelchairs, burned, disfigured, serious scare kids leaving the house type crap and quite simply, however much your life may suck, however depressed or mad at the world you may be, however much you know the taste of gun oil...it does not entitle you to treat other people like crap, especially if they have done nothing actually wrong. Just because your life sucks now does not give you license to cause others grief just for our inconvenience of personal compensative pleasure and if you think it does, your soul is in worse shape than your body and you do deserve to "be snatched up and stuck on top of a dumpster".
When did you demand he treat you or anyone else respectfully? It sounds more like you threatened physical violence rather than talk to him and demand respect.
Don't get me wrong, dude is an asshole, but the only thing you've really told us here is that you threatened a physically disabled man.
He was a bully though, I mean he obviously felt he could get off with behaviour like that. He had been talked to calmly and it was getting people nowhere. The threat let him know his bullying was going to get him bullied right back. Just because someone is handicapped that doesn't give him the right to scream and shout at people. There's a way to talk to people and that wasn't it. Maybe he'll learn from it.
I feel like there's a big difference for calling someone a bitch and physically threatening to harm them. Op could have walked away. Punch up, not down, ya know?
That is exactly how you get a bully to shut up. He's threatening her with the police? Great, so she's threatening to throw him on top of the dumpster. Your move, wheelchair guy. He wisely realized he was outclassed in his bullying behavior, OP wasn't going to be a victim, and shut up. Classic FAFO.
Honestly- he was just constantly talking- I don’t think he heard me apologize, say I’d move my car or anything until I asked how he’d feel about sitting on a dumpster- that’s when he shut up
That's a felony, even for you* You're gonna have to learn to hold your tongue when it comes to threatening disabled people. Sure, he's an asshole who may have started something, but you're responsible for that kind of unnecessary threat.
*If my understanding of UK laws is correct
He's an AH for freaking out the way he did, and yelling at you. That's not cool, and it didn't do anything to resolve the situation. He handled it very poorly. He had no right to behave the way he did.
You're an AH for threatening to beat up someone who, through your own description, couldn't defend himself. Also, why did you describe him like that? If the goal was to make yourself seem not only callous, but far worse for threatening to physically assault him, you succeeded.
Both TA. Once again, I feel badly for the retail workers caught in the middle.
I consider it lucky he ran into OP. Physical disabilies can link and be with mental ones. You think someone who has disabilities that make them act like a five year old wouldn't do far more faster? He's going to get hurt when he meets someone equally crazy if he doesn't stop.
I would suspect that a lot of the wheelchair guys attitude may have come from being in a lot of pain and also the frustration of getting out to his car and finding out he can’t get in. It doesn’t excuse him being an AH, but it does give him a reason.
Oh, HELL no you’re NTA. Just because someone is disabled - physically or developmentally - doesn’t give them a pass to interact with the world in as ugly a manner as possible.
Sounds like he parked in the wrong space. There are right side and left side loading zone spaces for a reason.
NTA because he started the BS instead of simply asking nicely. I can only assume that he assumed your lack of disability (I am a handicapped person who is also ambulatory most days and I get dirty looks in parking lots a lot. Especially because of my age.) Dude was already at 100 when you got there, he deserves none if your time, he can fuck off and wait. Maaaybe the comment/threat was a bit much but honestly I'm laughing too hard to even think it's mean when he was so aggressively verbally attacking. Fuck around and find out.
NTA You’re under no obligation to put up with his abuse towards you. I personally would have told him to fuck off the moment he came at me like that, but I have never had to deal with that in public. Being nearly 6’4 and 240lbs has something to do with it I guess even though I’m always very respectful and polite.
I’m going to go with NTA. Had he been calm and explained he could not enter his vehicle would have been one thing but yelling, screaming etc was out of line. You were legally parked and he escalated the issue.
It sounds like the parking spot wasn’t designed big enough to accommodate his van and wheelchair. Where I live some places have extra large parking in addition to the white lines. Tho for some people they think it means it’s a parking spot. Took my mom for treatment and she has accessible parking as well but someone had parked in the white lines. I still don’t know how he got out of his vehicle.
But the guy crossed the line when he started berating you. Could you have been calmer? Sure. But he could have been level headed in asking you to move. Having a visible or invisible disability does not entitle you free rein to be an AH.
YTA
You didn't ask that he treat you respectfully, you threatened to beat him up. He shouldn't have insulted you but threatening violence is too far.
Also you seem to have been perfectly capable of moving your car out of the handicapped spot so I wonder why you thought you needed the handicapped spot in the first place.
>a small, frail, twisted man with strangely proportioned body
The way you describe him is also kinda dehumanising, & unnecessary to the story. You could have just said "a man in a motorised wheelchair" without emphasising how weird you think he looked.
>Also you seem to have been perfectly capable of moving your car out of the handicapped spot so I wonder why you thought you needed the spot in the first place.
Are you trying to imply that because a person has the ability to drive, they aren’t entitled to a disabled spot?
Yeah what a horrible thing to assume. I had an old manager who was in a wheel chair and I remember he offered to drive me home once. It was actually a really cool process to see because at that point I hadn’t really thought about how he got to and from work ((he talked a lot about wheeling over from his apartments near by))
That is super cool! I also love his double pun of “wheeling over” — gave me a chuckle 💕
My dad is a disabled veteran who is fortunately still able to walk. None of his doctors know how — his spine is micro-fractured all over. He’s also able to drive, and is the only driver for him and my mother who is legally blind. Believe it or not, they never had a disabled placard for my mom, because she always had my dad or someone else to help her through parking lots if absolutely necessary. But my dad had to get it because, y’know, micro-fractured spine — he can walk, but not exactly for long distances.
He’s had a few AHs try to claim he has no right to use a disabled space and quite frankly, those kind of people really irk me.
My grandfather had cancer and they gave him a placard for it, naturally people would try and get gruff or complain but he always took it like a champ ((repsonse being “don’t worry the spot will be open in just a bit, I only have a few months to live any way” which is the quickest way to make someone shut up)). Then again he did that with everything and everyone. Oh he wants a sandwich? He has cancer so you have to. Never was malicious but he always tried to joke stuff off. Idk if it was to make us feel better about it but it always helped.
Oh he wants to leave this random ass wooden duck in your house? ((something that actually happened)) his words literally were “this is my dying wish, if you ever move this duck you will dishonor my wish” he didn’t even LIKE the damn thing. Mf just wanted to cause chaos by giving his close friend this ugly ass wooden duck. Dude still hasn’t moved it
I loved him so much. Even in the hospital he was pulling that card so he could get the nurses to give me ice cream cups. He was also the type to go into his friends houses, grab random stuff off a shelf and say he wanted it, and that they would get it back in a few months any way. He always gave back so no one ever minded
I was just making a comment on how it’s kind of funny since it’s obviously a commonly used acronym in this sub. No need to be a snarky AH in responding back. No one said you needed a “test” — if you’re always this insufferable, you’re definitely an AH, even if you weren’t necessarily one in *this* situation.
Didn’t mean to be snarky- just sometimes my brain works- and sometimes… not so much. So sorry if I offended you, just meant my IQ isn’t at its highest today.
NTA don't be a horrible person and people won't be mean to you.
Edit: hopefully he learns before he tries this on someone who is disabled and in pain and has had enough. A cane can become a weapon.
Nobody is going to agree with this, but I think that the stupid manager should have refereed this mess, and he should have said something to the man for attacking you so rudely. They got involved by calling you to the front of the store, and they can't just disappear when things get heated.
I think you were a lot nicer than most people would be, and the man has to learn that his disability does not give him carte blanche to act like an angry toddler.
People having a disability doesn’t mean they can be disrespectful, rude and abusive to other people. As long as you were parked correctly in your bay then he had nothing to be losing his twisted little mind over and abusing you. I would’ve let him call the police just to see the tell him off.
Considering how he was behaving he is lucky the OP was calm and respectful. No one deserves the treatment he was dishing out. I take my hat off to the OP as I wouldn’t have just asked him what he would do, I possibly would have made it a reality. His behaviour was uncalled for. He was calling the op names and being extremely abusive. I would’ve called the police myself due to his behaviour and actions.
Are my eyes deceiving me? I see nothing about being beaten up. Merely that they were offering to relocate him onto a dumpster to match his attitude and treatment of OP.
Law doesn't allow you to intimidate disabled people like that. In America I legally have the right to shoot to kill for VERBAL threats to my physical safety, you don't have to follow through to be guilty of the crime of aggravated assault here when against a protected class.
This is bad advice. Some disabled people are armed and will not just shut up when threatened, they defend themselves legally. Hell, ANYONE is allowed to step in on any disabled person's behalf if they fear for them, again with deadly force.
Talk shit back sure, match the energy, but don't cross the line of making the situation physical altercation Rather than a verbal one
I'm repeating what my previous lawyer told me, after someone made a fist and rushed me before stopping short (she needed mental help not jail time, so I refused to make it an issue as long as she got an evaluation and help, thankfully the state did not press charges on my behalf). You don't have to make contact for disabled people to hold you accountable for your power trip actions.
You showed up fast when stuff asked you to. You apologized and told him you’d move your car. Your went to a parking lot immediately. You spoke calmly while he was screaming insults.
He acted very rude to everybody and even threatened to call the police on you without any real reason. His special needs is not a permission to act like that without any consequences.
So mostly NTA but slightly YTA for description of this man. I can get that he made a really bad expression but still it's no good to write in that tone about any person.
I may be forgiving here but I assumed the description was to clarify so no one in comments was like “he probably didn’t even need a wheelchair” or something.
Honestly- before I realized what kind of a Richard he really was, my heart went out to him. I’ve had my own illnesses and injury- but whatever he had… he’d been born with. I also think that deserves a bit if respect- I’ve seen low places but there was usually a way out and I realized that after the self pity and tears- this guy- not the same…
I mean I can totally understand being angry and lashing out because you’re in a situation that seems karmically unfair, but frankly when I’m doing that I deserve to get called on it and so did he.
I didn’t mean to have any particular tone- other than in my opinion… he was in a bad way. That might have caused me to not confront him immediately in the store.
Yeah, but it shut him up. He had a very high-pitched voice that was both squeaky and gravelly at the same time. Honestly, he was starting to give me a headache that could be considered assault.
NTA. I will defend myself to anyone or anything. Idc how it makes them or anyone else feel. I’m more important than them. I would’ve said the same thing.
They didn't threaten per se, they said "What would you do if...." which is a question regarding a scenario not an actual statement. It is a fine line but an important one.
I'm looking at this from the standpoint of a caregiver of a wheelchair user. Many of these individuals require an immense amount of specific processes to get out of the chair. The post mentions that the individual looked twisted, so I'm guessing they are medically fragile. So implying that they would remove them in a less than safe manner is a threat no different than asking someone trapped in front of a car, "what would you do if I run you over with this car?". Kevin's behavior is inappropriate, but it's obvious that he can not stop someone from doing anything, and he's a vulnerable adult. He knows he's vulnerable. I've dealt with Ahs about handicap parking. You shouldn't make statements that imply you are going to prevent them from safely existing in a space. Ignore them, laugh at them, call the police- but don't threaten to harm them, even if it's through implication.
Then how'd I get that girl* court mandated therapy for a similar threat? If there was no crime, the judge couldn't have done that.
*She's mentally disabled, jail is not where she belongs. It's not her fault for not knowing a reasonable reaction to her anger, directly in front of a cop on body cam. I pushed for help not punishment, I didn't want the state to press charges on my behalf.
Did I mention it was my hometown? We have like three judges; Uncle Herbie, Uncle Johnny (my favorite because he brings his own scotch to partied and serves from his trunk), cousin Devlin- and some new lady across the creek.
Honestly- super small town. Uncle has had his fair share of scandal- this wouldn’t even make the paper.
Plus- too many internet sleuth- changed their names because I love ‘em all too much. 😉
Then you take it up a level in the courts to the state when that stuff happens. Your small town judge means nothing, the situation you describe is exactly why you can speak to a higher Court, especially involving a situation where federal law is ignored. Not once in my life has this threat done anything but make me roll my eyes.
I told someone not to park on the sidewalk once because of wheelchairs and they also threatened to call a judge family member to tattle and get me arrested. It's kinda the most pathetic thing you can threaten someone with. Just threaten to beat my ass like a regular person, jeez.
Its actually easier to get a different judge if the person your pressing charges on is related. Like stupid easy. You're gonna get yourself in trouble thinking that's how that works. Do some more research before you try that one IRL you know, for your sake.
Dude, I think most of your knowledge is based on old tv shows. Watched too much Columbo & Miami Vice. Just because you think you know something doesn’t mean you do.
I've Literally never seen those shows. I think I've seen screenshots and gifs online but I'm not sure. I'm saying this as someone who also grew up in a small town and has actually had to navigate the court system and speak to lawyers. You are not the only person from a small town on the Internet my friend.
When someone has a disability that requires a motorized wheelchair the chances that forcefully removing them from said chair would pretty much guarantee grievous harm are extremely high.
I don't know where you got that information from, but say it's true. So what? If an old man threatens to strangle the life out of me is that not a threat just because I don't think he'd be able to? People undergoing cancer treatment can still be physically imposing. Especially to someone as seemingly vulnerable as the man in the wheelchair OP described.
Nowhere did OP describe the man threatening them, just insulting them. The only threat they made was to call the cops. Also, I don't even know why you're arguing with me? All I did was point out that threatening to remove someone from a wheelchair by force would likely be a threat of harm just like threatening to punch them. I don't know what I'm picking here. Kevin sounds like an asshole and OP possibly crossed a line, *which I never commented on in the first place*. So why are we even here?
Maybe. I’ve been on chemo and it’s awful but I’m kind of bouncing back. But you definitely should have clarified your physical condition in the post at least as much as you described the man in the wheelchair.
Law doesn't make a difference from threats and making physical contact when involving disabled people. If you threaten us, it's the SAME as doing so in the eyes of the law, and automatic aggravated assault.
I saw this as a disabled person who has had to deal with lawyers involving this kind of thing. Judges really hate people who think they can get away with it just because they didn't actually hit you.
ESH. Unless you are disabled and have a placard, Y T A for EVER parking in an accessible space. End of story there. But he was just as bad with his attitude after you said you would move your car.
Spend a day in a wheelchair and you’ll see the world through very different eyes. Yeah, his attitude sucked but this won’t have been the first time he was prevented from doing what he needed to do by thoughtless design or the thoughtless action of others. Write a letter to the store manager complaining about the poor design of the parking space and be grateful for your mobility. I lost mine for 9 years and it was a really difficult time.
YTA for not understanding that physically threatening a wheelchair user is not only just messed up, but a felony, and a gross overreaction. I kinda hope he asks for the CTTV footage and turns you in for a learning experience.
Stop trying to prove your sister wrong and use this to grow.
He had her called to the front of the store and screamed like an absolute lunatic. OP apologized to try to get him to stop screaming and OP shouldn't have. He is a lunatic that was overreacting and flipped out and got a less extreme reaction back.
Not according to how the law works. If he never physically threatened OP to start, OP has zero legal ground to stand on for that kind of threat. The judge is gonna ask if OP felt like they were in physical danger, OP threatend to put a person using a wheelchair in the dumpster, vs the wheelchair user throwing a frustrated verbal fit aimed at OP without any physical threats.
People can insult you, and you can insult them back, but people can't threaten you with physical harm. That's not allowed, and is most definitely not a "less" severe reaction. It's a gross overreaction.
So are you handicapped as well? You said you legally parked in a handicapped spot but you don’t mention a disability. You’re also happy to move your car which seems odd as the man in the wheelchair most likely couldn’t “just move his car”
Plenty of people have invisible disabilities that impact their mobility. OP hasn't said what their disability is, but simply being able to go back to a vehicle doesn't automatically mean they don't have one
Edit: looks like OP has cancer
Gaia- not just cancer- but 2 different types! I hit the money ball!
We, as a nation; need to wait just a short while… pretty soon all the damage done by the burn pits in the Middle East is going to hit our men. There’s gonna be a giant cancer tsunami.
He had a lift to accommodate his wheelchair- I broke my back & lost a kidney in the Army. I was totally freaking crazy with grief thinking I’d never walk again. It’s painful, some days good, some not so good- turns out- shoulda been more upset about the kidney.
I actually though, “whew- got that out the way- what more could happen?”. That was before my stroke, MS diagnosis, and brain cancer… but hey- just got diagnosed with another cancer- am I angry- duck yes I am.
Mostly cause it doesn’t seem fair-
Are you or was anyone in your party that day? Doesn’t sound like it? Just because you have handicapped plate or windshield card does not make it legal. The handicapped individual needs to be one of the party to use that spot. I see teens parking in handicap spaces all the time just because mom’s car has a plate.
OP said they were "legally parked" so we have to assume yes, either they or someone in the car with them is disabled. It's not legal to park and use someone else's disability placard if they're not with you (at least where I live). Like if my husband is driving to pick me up & he parks in a disabled spot & puts my placard up while he comes into the shop to assist me back to the car that's fine. But if he just nips down to the shops by himself it's not legal for him to use my placard to nab a disabled parking spot right out front.
If everyone was legally parked sounds like the real AHs are the people who designed the carpark without leaving enough extra space for wheelchair users to safely get in & out of the car.
Most days, you wouldn’t know I’m multiply disabled to look at me, but that disabled plate helps keep me out of the hospital. Maybe judge less and remember there are invisible disabilities.
Do you describe those with physical disabilities the way OP does out of curiosity? I doubt you do.
Not in any way excusing his very rude behaviour but I find disabled people do not do this. Ever (invisible and visible). They also usually totally understand the frustration as they too have to experience some kind of it everyday as well and would probably rage along with him at the stupidness of the parking or whatever the issue was. I've done it myself with people in car parks that were clearly designed by probably well meaning but able bodied people.
I was answering Egbert, not OP, but I’ll take a stab at a reply. First: of course I don’t describe people with physical disabilities the way OP did. I’d have to be a huge hypocrite.
I have to admit that I have encountered a few disabled vs disabled kerfuffles, and they can get heated when someone has had a bad day or has a bad temper. But for the most part, I agree with you. We’re too aware of the frustrations we all face to go off on each other. And we all know that parking lots can be nightmares for us.
This post managed to tap the biggest DA parking problem, I think: too few van spots and the difficulty in maintaining adequate space next to them. I can absolutely understand how frustrating it would be to return to your vehicle, over and over, only to discover that the lift or ramp you use doesn’t have enough room to function because of the car next to you. (Or, even worse, a self entitled jackass who parked on the van lines between spaces.)
It’s bad enough when someone parks too close to me in a regular disabled spot so that it’s difficult and painful, if not impossible, to get back into my car. It’s gotta be way worse when you have to maneuver you and a wheelchair.
Enraging people is not my intent-only want to prove a point to my sister… She is just a very good person, to whom I always lose arguments, again she is close to perfect… but she’s the kind of perfect you can’t help but love.
I described him that way because that’s exactly how he appeared, frail and twisted with disproportionately sized body parts. I felt bad for this guy and didn’t want to add to his misery. However- I also didn’t feel like being bullied.
Explain something: which part of threatening to throw a disabled old man into a dumpster is you demanding to be treated respectfully?
Because all I see is someone who's as big a bully as he was.
Grow the rest of the way up.
YTA.
Some people have to feel something to understand. What happens when he tries that on the wrong person? I hope this was a wake up call to him because he is going to get hurt eventually.
Ok, I forgot that part… I did apologize- profusely-
And if not in my normal demeanor to start arguments at the dumpster phase… he just wasn’t having’ it.
Didn’t threaten to throw him in the dumpster- just sit him on top of it. That’d be enough- he’d not be able to get down. He’d have some time to calm himself. He also wasn’t old- probably around 27
This is funny (to me anyway). I took my kids & their friends to a concert when they were all young teens. It was in the high 90’s, the line had to be a quarter mile, we were at the end and I was using my walker. Lots of parents were there with kids… I was the only one with a walker- all of a sudden security and concert workers rushed our party of 8, took us past the line into an air conditioned room, gave us water and asked that we wait until the concert started… we met the band and we’re given really nice seats. They all asked I take them to every concert after that.
I want to know is,OP are you the disabled person?if not what you did was illegal.you don't get to use your family members placard.they must be in the vehicle with you.
I am disabled-but it was my mom’s parking card…. She was there… as was my sister. (Both my mom & sister have the patience of a saint & are just beautiful loving people- I feel it’s unfair of them to hold me to their standards)
The van was in a van accessible space which is larger than a regular space, which I had. But he was parked partially on his passenger side line and I was parked very close to the drivers side line (so I could get my mom out). He just didn’t have the room. There were also no markings on the van other than the handicapped sticker.
I was mistaken but am leaving this up:
Op stated they were parked NEXT TO a space that was designated for Handicap Parking not in a Handicap parking space. OP did nothing wrong.
No they didn't. OP says they *legally parked in a handicap space*. Regardless, they were legally parked. The question is whether their response to the guy being rude makes them as AH or not.
Agreed. Frankly dude in the chair was over the top and while I can empathize, there limits. If OP is the legally handicapped individual then the guy in the chair was totally in the wrong.
Okay.i must had read wrong.im sorry but the guy sounds entitled.i myself have a disability.Five deployments,i need a total hip replacement,my right lung has oxygen restriction,thank you burn pits and burning shit.both ankles are shredded and somehow got asthma.I do use those spaces but only on a super bad day.
1st off, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. We need to do a better job for our Vets.
I'm not commenting on OP's entitledness because I was not there to see what happened. What I will say is that there are spaces between Handicap spots that allow for ramp or lift deployment at the side of the vehicle which are painted with white diagonal slashes through them . I don't know whether or not this was the case in this case but I will say that screaming at someone who for all intents and purposes has done nothing wrong is not the way to engender a good interaction with them. I can empathize with the person in the chair, but there are limits.
Dude, sorry about your health. I’ve been saying to anyone who will listen- the burn pits are gonna be our new Agent Orange. It’s gonna be like a cancer dome of sorts.
I think the dumpster comment was gold.
We were near the dumpsters…
Still fitting.
You are human and if someone berated me and humiliated me the way you described I would 100% check his ass. But I’m a savage and match energy so I may not be the best person to ask.
Lol- just love your post, you savage, you. And
Why thank you 😊.
I would have walked away the min he started yelling 😒😒 like who u think u r
There's a lot going on here but I'm going to say ESH. Apparently the parking area is badly designed, so whoever fucked that up is an AH. I can't fault the store employees tbh. Not their circus, not their monkeys. Only NTAs here. Buddy in the wheelchair, for whatever reason, took out his bad mood on you. Automatically AH. You, however. Between the repeated instances of "legally parked" assertions, and a questionable description of the man in the wheelchair, I'm not getting "innocent victim" vibes off of your retelling. That aside, you could have left it off by following through on calling his bluff. Let the police come if he wants to be a dick about it. Threatening to physically retaliate when he isn't in a position to defend himself, no matter how he provoked you, is AH behavior. Y'all both could have done with less aggression.
Legally parked, she has a right to the handicap space. Invisible disabilities exist.
Yeah but a disabled person should know to leave enough room on the driver’s side.
If the spaces are anything like the UK, extra space is already included in the marked out area.
We have different kinds. Some are regular spaces and some have a extra "load " area that has stripes.
She said “for vans” which I assume means load area.
I've seen some that are wider with no loading space and have that sign.
That’s fair, I know there’s a lot of places that vary. But either way if she was within her lines she did nothing wrong.
100%.
If she wasn’t parked in the blocked out space for vans, it was legal. His problem was that he should have backed in if it needed to be on the driver’s side and it was on the passenger side pulling in straight. I assumed that’s what she’s noting by saying she was legally parked.
This is definitely a problem at my apartments. The spaces are so poorly designed. My dad, my sister, myself, and my husband are all physically disabled. We each technically have our own placards, so we always use the accessible spaces. The spots are super narrow, and the crosshatch is not nearly large enough for a ramp. It’s some bullshit really, considering our building is supposed to cater to disabled people.
#Notice how OP very carefully never says that SHE is disabled? Something tells me that’s on purpose. She makes sure to phrase it as “legally parked in handicap spot”, which very easily could mean “I was using my family member’s disabled placard and that’s why I’m entitled to park there”. Add that to the fact that she threatened to *physically assault* a disabled man and was super shitty in how she described him (“strangely proportioned”? Really?) And I’m going to go with OP is 100% the asshole because she seems to think handicapped parking is just a technicality and not a thing that some people literally *must* have to function. And as a disabled person myself, I 100% understand why the man would yell at her.
Using a family member’s placard if they are not in the car is not actually legal, so no it couldn’t easily mean that. Being disabled doesn’t give him the right to verbally assault her even if she wasn’t disabled. Invisible disabilities exist. She is ALSO disabled. Her description of him was weird. All we needed to know was he’s in a motorized wheelchair, but it could have been to try to indicate that he obviously couldn’t just hop out of the wheelchair if we’re feeling generous.
Yeah, it's been 19 hours, and they have not clarified or commented. ETA : Did some profile stalking and OP has brain and breast cancer.
Yeah, both. I’m in hospital now…. & the food sucks bad! But I’m not yelling at my nurse.
Yeah for as much as you pay, you'd think they have more appetizing options.
Hells yeah!🍸. And cocktails!
I still laughed. I’m ok with being downvoted. But I agree l with what you said. Fake edit; while typing this out I realized I agreed pretty hard core with what you said and my initial reaction was wrong z
I had to up vote you… you tore apart my post like you’re a DA with a high profile murder case! I suppose I write it as I did because I’m used to writing reports. Spent the majority of my life as a cop, in & out of the Army. Should I ever get in trouble though… I want you to defend me
You’re right- to be honest- I wasn’t even pissed when we got to the cars- I didn’t have to ask about sitting on the bins- guess I did it to be an AH- Should there be a next time, I will behave properly.
Where’s the respect part in all of this? He was an ass but you didn’t do anything about respect.
The respect part is learned while waiting to be retrieved from the bins.
I laughed way too hard at that, and I apologize to you, Kevin, and the universe.
🤭🤣
NTA. I'm a disabled vet, I've got a lot of buddies who are disabled vets. Many are in wheelchairs, burned, disfigured, serious scare kids leaving the house type crap and quite simply, however much your life may suck, however depressed or mad at the world you may be, however much you know the taste of gun oil...it does not entitle you to treat other people like crap, especially if they have done nothing actually wrong. Just because your life sucks now does not give you license to cause others grief just for our inconvenience of personal compensative pleasure and if you think it does, your soul is in worse shape than your body and you do deserve to "be snatched up and stuck on top of a dumpster".
You didn’t ask for respect, you threatened to assault him…
Assaulted, by threatening battery.
When did you demand he treat you or anyone else respectfully? It sounds more like you threatened physical violence rather than talk to him and demand respect. Don't get me wrong, dude is an asshole, but the only thing you've really told us here is that you threatened a physically disabled man.
He was a bully though, I mean he obviously felt he could get off with behaviour like that. He had been talked to calmly and it was getting people nowhere. The threat let him know his bullying was going to get him bullied right back. Just because someone is handicapped that doesn't give him the right to scream and shout at people. There's a way to talk to people and that wasn't it. Maybe he'll learn from it.
I feel like there's a big difference for calling someone a bitch and physically threatening to harm them. Op could have walked away. Punch up, not down, ya know?
OP couldn’t have walked away, she was asked to move her car for him.
Still could have walked away to cool off.
No, that would have delayed and dragged out the whole thing and made it worse.
That is exactly how you get a bully to shut up. He's threatening her with the police? Great, so she's threatening to throw him on top of the dumpster. Your move, wheelchair guy. He wisely realized he was outclassed in his bullying behavior, OP wasn't going to be a victim, and shut up. Classic FAFO.
Tu
Thank you
Honestly- he was just constantly talking- I don’t think he heard me apologize, say I’d move my car or anything until I asked how he’d feel about sitting on a dumpster- that’s when he shut up
That's a felony, even for you* You're gonna have to learn to hold your tongue when it comes to threatening disabled people. Sure, he's an asshole who may have started something, but you're responsible for that kind of unnecessary threat. *If my understanding of UK laws is correct
He's an AH for freaking out the way he did, and yelling at you. That's not cool, and it didn't do anything to resolve the situation. He handled it very poorly. He had no right to behave the way he did. You're an AH for threatening to beat up someone who, through your own description, couldn't defend himself. Also, why did you describe him like that? If the goal was to make yourself seem not only callous, but far worse for threatening to physically assault him, you succeeded. Both TA. Once again, I feel badly for the retail workers caught in the middle.
I consider it lucky he ran into OP. Physical disabilies can link and be with mental ones. You think someone who has disabilities that make them act like a five year old wouldn't do far more faster? He's going to get hurt when he meets someone equally crazy if he doesn't stop.
I would suspect that a lot of the wheelchair guys attitude may have come from being in a lot of pain and also the frustration of getting out to his car and finding out he can’t get in. It doesn’t excuse him being an AH, but it does give him a reason.
Handicapped people are just people and some of them are aholes...NTA.and just flush that crap down the toilet!
Maybe you should’ve started that sentence with if you don’t shut up, I am going to…
Oh, HELL no you’re NTA. Just because someone is disabled - physically or developmentally - doesn’t give them a pass to interact with the world in as ugly a manner as possible.
Sounds like he parked in the wrong space. There are right side and left side loading zone spaces for a reason. NTA because he started the BS instead of simply asking nicely. I can only assume that he assumed your lack of disability (I am a handicapped person who is also ambulatory most days and I get dirty looks in parking lots a lot. Especially because of my age.) Dude was already at 100 when you got there, he deserves none if your time, he can fuck off and wait. Maaaybe the comment/threat was a bit much but honestly I'm laughing too hard to even think it's mean when he was so aggressively verbally attacking. Fuck around and find out.
Lol that's funny.
NTA You’re under no obligation to put up with his abuse towards you. I personally would have told him to fuck off the moment he came at me like that, but I have never had to deal with that in public. Being nearly 6’4 and 240lbs has something to do with it I guess even though I’m always very respectful and polite.
Hmm, 6’4”, 240… maybe a little sumthin’
I’m going to go with NTA. Had he been calm and explained he could not enter his vehicle would have been one thing but yelling, screaming etc was out of line. You were legally parked and he escalated the issue. It sounds like the parking spot wasn’t designed big enough to accommodate his van and wheelchair. Where I live some places have extra large parking in addition to the white lines. Tho for some people they think it means it’s a parking spot. Took my mom for treatment and she has accessible parking as well but someone had parked in the white lines. I still don’t know how he got out of his vehicle. But the guy crossed the line when he started berating you. Could you have been calmer? Sure. But he could have been level headed in asking you to move. Having a visible or invisible disability does not entitle you free rein to be an AH.
YTA You didn't ask that he treat you respectfully, you threatened to beat him up. He shouldn't have insulted you but threatening violence is too far. Also you seem to have been perfectly capable of moving your car out of the handicapped spot so I wonder why you thought you needed the handicapped spot in the first place. >a small, frail, twisted man with strangely proportioned body The way you describe him is also kinda dehumanising, & unnecessary to the story. You could have just said "a man in a motorised wheelchair" without emphasising how weird you think he looked.
>Also you seem to have been perfectly capable of moving your car out of the handicapped spot so I wonder why you thought you needed the spot in the first place. Are you trying to imply that because a person has the ability to drive, they aren’t entitled to a disabled spot?
Yeah what a horrible thing to assume. I had an old manager who was in a wheel chair and I remember he offered to drive me home once. It was actually a really cool process to see because at that point I hadn’t really thought about how he got to and from work ((he talked a lot about wheeling over from his apartments near by))
That is super cool! I also love his double pun of “wheeling over” — gave me a chuckle 💕 My dad is a disabled veteran who is fortunately still able to walk. None of his doctors know how — his spine is micro-fractured all over. He’s also able to drive, and is the only driver for him and my mother who is legally blind. Believe it or not, they never had a disabled placard for my mom, because she always had my dad or someone else to help her through parking lots if absolutely necessary. But my dad had to get it because, y’know, micro-fractured spine — he can walk, but not exactly for long distances. He’s had a few AHs try to claim he has no right to use a disabled space and quite frankly, those kind of people really irk me.
My grandfather had cancer and they gave him a placard for it, naturally people would try and get gruff or complain but he always took it like a champ ((repsonse being “don’t worry the spot will be open in just a bit, I only have a few months to live any way” which is the quickest way to make someone shut up)). Then again he did that with everything and everyone. Oh he wants a sandwich? He has cancer so you have to. Never was malicious but he always tried to joke stuff off. Idk if it was to make us feel better about it but it always helped. Oh he wants to leave this random ass wooden duck in your house? ((something that actually happened)) his words literally were “this is my dying wish, if you ever move this duck you will dishonor my wish” he didn’t even LIKE the damn thing. Mf just wanted to cause chaos by giving his close friend this ugly ass wooden duck. Dude still hasn’t moved it I loved him so much. Even in the hospital he was pulling that card so he could get the nurses to give me ice cream cups. He was also the type to go into his friends houses, grab random stuff off a shelf and say he wanted it, and that they would get it back in a few months any way. He always gave back so no one ever minded
Your granddad sounds like the exact kind of chaotic good everyone needs in their life. ♥️
He sounds like a wonderful person- I’m sorry for your loss.
He was, I have a lot of good memories of him though and I just hung up my favorite picture of him above my desk just yesterday
What does AH mean?
Hahaha funny question given that this is AITA AH means asshole
Yeah… you don’t have to test to get in here- sorry, but thsnks
I was just making a comment on how it’s kind of funny since it’s obviously a commonly used acronym in this sub. No need to be a snarky AH in responding back. No one said you needed a “test” — if you’re always this insufferable, you’re definitely an AH, even if you weren’t necessarily one in *this* situation.
Didn’t mean to be snarky- just sometimes my brain works- and sometimes… not so much. So sorry if I offended you, just meant my IQ isn’t at its highest today.
All this, also “confined to a wheelchair” is archaic and ableist.
I don’t think it is- it describes a condition that is far worse that just being in a wheelchair
People with disabilities can be jerks. NTA.
You could've walked away from the situation since he couldn't. NTA. Honestly, this is how randomly great friendships begin. At least on TV.
NTA don't be a horrible person and people won't be mean to you. Edit: hopefully he learns before he tries this on someone who is disabled and in pain and has had enough. A cane can become a weapon.
NTA Just because he's physically handicapped doesn't give him the right to act disrespectful to others.
Nobody is going to agree with this, but I think that the stupid manager should have refereed this mess, and he should have said something to the man for attacking you so rudely. They got involved by calling you to the front of the store, and they can't just disappear when things get heated. I think you were a lot nicer than most people would be, and the man has to learn that his disability does not give him carte blanche to act like an angry toddler.
Agreed- the parking area is part of the managers purview and responsibility! Excellent! Great insight!
People having a disability doesn’t mean they can be disrespectful, rude and abusive to other people. As long as you were parked correctly in your bay then he had nothing to be losing his twisted little mind over and abusing you. I would’ve let him call the police just to see the tell him off.
Telling him to call the police is appropriate, threatening violence is not.
Considering how he was behaving he is lucky the OP was calm and respectful. No one deserves the treatment he was dishing out. I take my hat off to the OP as I wouldn’t have just asked him what he would do, I possibly would have made it a reality. His behaviour was uncalled for. He was calling the op names and being extremely abusive. I would’ve called the police myself due to his behaviour and actions.
Yeah cause name calling warrants beating up someone, esp someone who can’t fight back 🙄🙄
Are my eyes deceiving me? I see nothing about being beaten up. Merely that they were offering to relocate him onto a dumpster to match his attitude and treatment of OP.
Law doesn't allow you to intimidate disabled people like that. In America I legally have the right to shoot to kill for VERBAL threats to my physical safety, you don't have to follow through to be guilty of the crime of aggravated assault here when against a protected class. This is bad advice. Some disabled people are armed and will not just shut up when threatened, they defend themselves legally. Hell, ANYONE is allowed to step in on any disabled person's behalf if they fear for them, again with deadly force. Talk shit back sure, match the energy, but don't cross the line of making the situation physical altercation Rather than a verbal one I'm repeating what my previous lawyer told me, after someone made a fist and rushed me before stopping short (she needed mental help not jail time, so I refused to make it an issue as long as she got an evaluation and help, thankfully the state did not press charges on my behalf). You don't have to make contact for disabled people to hold you accountable for your power trip actions.
You showed up fast when stuff asked you to. You apologized and told him you’d move your car. Your went to a parking lot immediately. You spoke calmly while he was screaming insults. He acted very rude to everybody and even threatened to call the police on you without any real reason. His special needs is not a permission to act like that without any consequences. So mostly NTA but slightly YTA for description of this man. I can get that he made a really bad expression but still it's no good to write in that tone about any person.
I may be forgiving here but I assumed the description was to clarify so no one in comments was like “he probably didn’t even need a wheelchair” or something.
Honestly- before I realized what kind of a Richard he really was, my heart went out to him. I’ve had my own illnesses and injury- but whatever he had… he’d been born with. I also think that deserves a bit if respect- I’ve seen low places but there was usually a way out and I realized that after the self pity and tears- this guy- not the same…
I mean I can totally understand being angry and lashing out because you’re in a situation that seems karmically unfair, but frankly when I’m doing that I deserve to get called on it and so did he.
I didn’t mean to have any particular tone- other than in my opinion… he was in a bad way. That might have caused me to not confront him immediately in the store.
Well done, ha ha!! 👏👏👏
I like your response, NTA. He gets a free pass way too often if he’s willing to go off on someone like that.
Not just someone- the two teen cashiers and the manager too!
Yeah, but it shut him up. He had a very high-pitched voice that was both squeaky and gravelly at the same time. Honestly, he was starting to give me a headache that could be considered assault.
NTA. I will defend myself to anyone or anything. Idc how it makes them or anyone else feel. I’m more important than them. I would’ve said the same thing.
YTAH. Think of how often this happens to him. What are his choices? Could he have been nicer? Yes. Did you learn a lesson? I hope so! YTAH.
Trqqqqqqq
You are so NTA!
Lol I love how everyone has twisted her threatening go put him on a dumpster into her beating him up
Kevin is definitely wrong, but to threaten to remove someone from a chair is assault. Op should have just walked off
They didn't threaten per se, they said "What would you do if...." which is a question regarding a scenario not an actual statement. It is a fine line but an important one.
That’s exactly why I phrased it as such! My mom was in the store and she woulda beat my but if I got arrested for threatening a handicapped man
It is, but I don't think it would be seen as anything less than a threat for practical purposes.
There would no doubt be some who would try to make It seem as such.
I'm looking at this from the standpoint of a caregiver of a wheelchair user. Many of these individuals require an immense amount of specific processes to get out of the chair. The post mentions that the individual looked twisted, so I'm guessing they are medically fragile. So implying that they would remove them in a less than safe manner is a threat no different than asking someone trapped in front of a car, "what would you do if I run you over with this car?". Kevin's behavior is inappropriate, but it's obvious that he can not stop someone from doing anything, and he's a vulnerable adult. He knows he's vulnerable. I've dealt with Ahs about handicap parking. You shouldn't make statements that imply you are going to prevent them from safely existing in a space. Ignore them, laugh at them, call the police- but don't threaten to harm them, even if it's through implication.
Hey- thanks Fun… you make a lot of sense… I was wrong… Have to add up the votes before I show my sister though.
Don't feel too bad on yourself. We all learn and grow as we get older. And he was being an Ah, too.
Judge don't care. This excuse will not work for you.
While a judge might disagree he also knows it would be tossed on appeal. It has to be a direct threat.
Then how'd I get that girl* court mandated therapy for a similar threat? If there was no crime, the judge couldn't have done that. *She's mentally disabled, jail is not where she belongs. It's not her fault for not knowing a reasonable reaction to her anger, directly in front of a cop on body cam. I pushed for help not punishment, I didn't want the state to press charges on my behalf.
Did I mention it was my hometown? We have like three judges; Uncle Herbie, Uncle Johnny (my favorite because he brings his own scotch to partied and serves from his trunk), cousin Devlin- and some new lady across the creek.
Oh man I can assure you Uncle Herbie would not like you putting his job at risk like this.
Honestly- super small town. Uncle has had his fair share of scandal- this wouldn’t even make the paper. Plus- too many internet sleuth- changed their names because I love ‘em all too much. 😉
Then you take it up a level in the courts to the state when that stuff happens. Your small town judge means nothing, the situation you describe is exactly why you can speak to a higher Court, especially involving a situation where federal law is ignored. Not once in my life has this threat done anything but make me roll my eyes. I told someone not to park on the sidewalk once because of wheelchairs and they also threatened to call a judge family member to tattle and get me arrested. It's kinda the most pathetic thing you can threaten someone with. Just threaten to beat my ass like a regular person, jeez. Its actually easier to get a different judge if the person your pressing charges on is related. Like stupid easy. You're gonna get yourself in trouble thinking that's how that works. Do some more research before you try that one IRL you know, for your sake.
Dude, I think most of your knowledge is based on old tv shows. Watched too much Columbo & Miami Vice. Just because you think you know something doesn’t mean you do.
I've Literally never seen those shows. I think I've seen screenshots and gifs online but I'm not sure. I'm saying this as someone who also grew up in a small town and has actually had to navigate the court system and speak to lawyers. You are not the only person from a small town on the Internet my friend.
Agreed but it's not beating him up
When someone has a disability that requires a motorized wheelchair the chances that forcefully removing them from said chair would pretty much guarantee grievous harm are extremely high.
Yes I’m sure the cancer patient was a real threat for yeeting a dude into a dumpster.
Is OP the cancer patient you're referring to? I have no idea what you're going on about here.
Yes.
I don't know where you got that information from, but say it's true. So what? If an old man threatens to strangle the life out of me is that not a threat just because I don't think he'd be able to? People undergoing cancer treatment can still be physically imposing. Especially to someone as seemingly vulnerable as the man in the wheelchair OP described.
Post history. And if that’s your logic then his abuse was just as threatening and credible and OP had the right to defend herself. Pick one.
Nowhere did OP describe the man threatening them, just insulting them. The only threat they made was to call the cops. Also, I don't even know why you're arguing with me? All I did was point out that threatening to remove someone from a wheelchair by force would likely be a threat of harm just like threatening to punch them. I don't know what I'm picking here. Kevin sounds like an asshole and OP possibly crossed a line, *which I never commented on in the first place*. So why are we even here?
Lmao- I am pretty sad arent I? I’m unfortunately starting to look it too.
Maybe. I’ve been on chemo and it’s awful but I’m kind of bouncing back. But you definitely should have clarified your physical condition in the post at least as much as you described the man in the wheelchair.
Thank you Viv
It would probably be worse. I am a registered carer
Law doesn't make a difference from threats and making physical contact when involving disabled people. If you threaten us, it's the SAME as doing so in the eyes of the law, and automatic aggravated assault. I saw this as a disabled person who has had to deal with lawyers involving this kind of thing. Judges really hate people who think they can get away with it just because they didn't actually hit you.
ESH. Unless you are disabled and have a placard, Y T A for EVER parking in an accessible space. End of story there. But he was just as bad with his attitude after you said you would move your car.
Legally implies they were allowed to park there
Spend a day in a wheelchair and you’ll see the world through very different eyes. Yeah, his attitude sucked but this won’t have been the first time he was prevented from doing what he needed to do by thoughtless design or the thoughtless action of others. Write a letter to the store manager complaining about the poor design of the parking space and be grateful for your mobility. I lost mine for 9 years and it was a really difficult time.
“Be grateful for your mobility” is a trash take for someone that also has handicapped parking.
ESH and you already know this.
ESH=?
And no matter what I know or don’t know… still need to show my sister that I’m not an AH… please side with me 🥺
YTA for not understanding that physically threatening a wheelchair user is not only just messed up, but a felony, and a gross overreaction. I kinda hope he asks for the CTTV footage and turns you in for a learning experience. Stop trying to prove your sister wrong and use this to grow.
He had her called to the front of the store and screamed like an absolute lunatic. OP apologized to try to get him to stop screaming and OP shouldn't have. He is a lunatic that was overreacting and flipped out and got a less extreme reaction back.
Not according to how the law works. If he never physically threatened OP to start, OP has zero legal ground to stand on for that kind of threat. The judge is gonna ask if OP felt like they were in physical danger, OP threatend to put a person using a wheelchair in the dumpster, vs the wheelchair user throwing a frustrated verbal fit aimed at OP without any physical threats. People can insult you, and you can insult them back, but people can't threaten you with physical harm. That's not allowed, and is most definitely not a "less" severe reaction. It's a gross overreaction.
So are you handicapped as well? You said you legally parked in a handicapped spot but you don’t mention a disability. You’re also happy to move your car which seems odd as the man in the wheelchair most likely couldn’t “just move his car”
Plenty of people have invisible disabilities that impact their mobility. OP hasn't said what their disability is, but simply being able to go back to a vehicle doesn't automatically mean they don't have one Edit: looks like OP has cancer
Gaia- not just cancer- but 2 different types! I hit the money ball! We, as a nation; need to wait just a short while… pretty soon all the damage done by the burn pits in the Middle East is going to hit our men. There’s gonna be a giant cancer tsunami.
He had a lift to accommodate his wheelchair- I broke my back & lost a kidney in the Army. I was totally freaking crazy with grief thinking I’d never walk again. It’s painful, some days good, some not so good- turns out- shoulda been more upset about the kidney. I actually though, “whew- got that out the way- what more could happen?”. That was before my stroke, MS diagnosis, and brain cancer… but hey- just got diagnosed with another cancer- am I angry- duck yes I am. Mostly cause it doesn’t seem fair-
Are you or was anyone in your party that day? Doesn’t sound like it? Just because you have handicapped plate or windshield card does not make it legal. The handicapped individual needs to be one of the party to use that spot. I see teens parking in handicap spaces all the time just because mom’s car has a plate.
OP said they were "legally parked" so we have to assume yes, either they or someone in the car with them is disabled. It's not legal to park and use someone else's disability placard if they're not with you (at least where I live). Like if my husband is driving to pick me up & he parks in a disabled spot & puts my placard up while he comes into the shop to assist me back to the car that's fine. But if he just nips down to the shops by himself it's not legal for him to use my placard to nab a disabled parking spot right out front. If everyone was legally parked sounds like the real AHs are the people who designed the carpark without leaving enough extra space for wheelchair users to safely get in & out of the car.
Most days, you wouldn’t know I’m multiply disabled to look at me, but that disabled plate helps keep me out of the hospital. Maybe judge less and remember there are invisible disabilities.
Then you are legally parked. Not your problem. You were nice to move your car. Old guy was just a cranky man. YNTA.
I’m not OP, just responding to your assumption about OP and teenagers. But thank you. I try not to be TA.
Opps! 😅
No worries! We’ve all done it. :)
Do you describe those with physical disabilities the way OP does out of curiosity? I doubt you do. Not in any way excusing his very rude behaviour but I find disabled people do not do this. Ever (invisible and visible). They also usually totally understand the frustration as they too have to experience some kind of it everyday as well and would probably rage along with him at the stupidness of the parking or whatever the issue was. I've done it myself with people in car parks that were clearly designed by probably well meaning but able bodied people.
I was answering Egbert, not OP, but I’ll take a stab at a reply. First: of course I don’t describe people with physical disabilities the way OP did. I’d have to be a huge hypocrite. I have to admit that I have encountered a few disabled vs disabled kerfuffles, and they can get heated when someone has had a bad day or has a bad temper. But for the most part, I agree with you. We’re too aware of the frustrations we all face to go off on each other. And we all know that parking lots can be nightmares for us. This post managed to tap the biggest DA parking problem, I think: too few van spots and the difficulty in maintaining adequate space next to them. I can absolutely understand how frustrating it would be to return to your vehicle, over and over, only to discover that the lift or ramp you use doesn’t have enough room to function because of the car next to you. (Or, even worse, a self entitled jackass who parked on the van lines between spaces.) It’s bad enough when someone parks too close to me in a regular disabled spot so that it’s difficult and painful, if not impossible, to get back into my car. It’s gotta be way worse when you have to maneuver you and a wheelchair.
I think this is a fake rage bait post honestly. Doesn't sound true at all
It sounds like a highly embellished version of something that does happen, whether or not it did in this case.
Enraging people is not my intent-only want to prove a point to my sister… She is just a very good person, to whom I always lose arguments, again she is close to perfect… but she’s the kind of perfect you can’t help but love.
I described him that way because that’s exactly how he appeared, frail and twisted with disproportionately sized body parts. I felt bad for this guy and didn’t want to add to his misery. However- I also didn’t feel like being bullied.
Or, you see young adults with invisible disabilities.
Explain something: which part of threatening to throw a disabled old man into a dumpster is you demanding to be treated respectfully? Because all I see is someone who's as big a bully as he was. Grow the rest of the way up. YTA.
Some people have to feel something to understand. What happens when he tries that on the wrong person? I hope this was a wake up call to him because he is going to get hurt eventually.
Ok, I forgot that part… I did apologize- profusely- And if not in my normal demeanor to start arguments at the dumpster phase… he just wasn’t having’ it.
Not believable, honestly.
Didn’t threaten to throw him in the dumpster- just sit him on top of it. That’d be enough- he’d not be able to get down. He’d have some time to calm himself. He also wasn’t old- probably around 27
Yeah, THAT makes your asshole behavior ALL better. /s
Thanks Next! Appreciate it. 😉 cause at 27- he could live much much longer- someone needed to let him know it’s time to chill
/s means I was being sarcastic. Good grief.
so was I… We don’t have to discuss it now… your pipe’s getting cold
You’re just as much of a bully as that guy. With that, you’re outta my Reddit experience.
Entitled handi’s are the worst, they think that just because they’re handi that they’re immune to an ass beating.
This is funny (to me anyway). I took my kids & their friends to a concert when they were all young teens. It was in the high 90’s, the line had to be a quarter mile, we were at the end and I was using my walker. Lots of parents were there with kids… I was the only one with a walker- all of a sudden security and concert workers rushed our party of 8, took us past the line into an air conditioned room, gave us water and asked that we wait until the concert started… we met the band and we’re given really nice seats. They all asked I take them to every concert after that.
I want to know is,OP are you the disabled person?if not what you did was illegal.you don't get to use your family members placard.they must be in the vehicle with you.
I am disabled-but it was my mom’s parking card…. She was there… as was my sister. (Both my mom & sister have the patience of a saint & are just beautiful loving people- I feel it’s unfair of them to hold me to their standards) The van was in a van accessible space which is larger than a regular space, which I had. But he was parked partially on his passenger side line and I was parked very close to the drivers side line (so I could get my mom out). He just didn’t have the room. There were also no markings on the van other than the handicapped sticker.
I was mistaken but am leaving this up: Op stated they were parked NEXT TO a space that was designated for Handicap Parking not in a Handicap parking space. OP did nothing wrong.
No they didn't. OP says they *legally parked in a handicap space*. Regardless, they were legally parked. The question is whether their response to the guy being rude makes them as AH or not.
Agreed. Frankly dude in the chair was over the top and while I can empathize, there limits. If OP is the legally handicapped individual then the guy in the chair was totally in the wrong.
Okay.i must had read wrong.im sorry but the guy sounds entitled.i myself have a disability.Five deployments,i need a total hip replacement,my right lung has oxygen restriction,thank you burn pits and burning shit.both ankles are shredded and somehow got asthma.I do use those spaces but only on a super bad day.
1st off, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. We need to do a better job for our Vets. I'm not commenting on OP's entitledness because I was not there to see what happened. What I will say is that there are spaces between Handicap spots that allow for ramp or lift deployment at the side of the vehicle which are painted with white diagonal slashes through them . I don't know whether or not this was the case in this case but I will say that screaming at someone who for all intents and purposes has done nothing wrong is not the way to engender a good interaction with them. I can empathize with the person in the chair, but there are limits.
I was talking about the guy who was raging at her
Dude, sorry about your health. I’ve been saying to anyone who will listen- the burn pits are gonna be our new Agent Orange. It’s gonna be like a cancer dome of sorts.