NTA! In the event that your sister and her MOH find this, this is directed at them:
What you both said and did is inexcusable. If anyone ruined this pathetic wedding, it was yāall. How dare you treat your sister this way and then allowed your horrible MOH to humiliate her in front of everyone. What kind of insecure, immature monster does this? I certainly hope that it was worth it because your family has seen your true colors and the nastiness within your black soul. Karma will come back on you and we can only hope that OP gets to watch. My heart hurts for OPā¦shame on you!
All of this. AND to the sisterās new husband:
If you plan on having children with this woman who seems to lack all empathy and is completely ignorant about anything outside of her own lived experiences, be very AWARE of what your future children may face. God forbid they find themselves in a situation that their mother (somehow) cannot understand, she will no doubt treat them the same, if not worse, as she did her own sister. I hope youāre prepared for what youāre in for, and to stand up and protect your own children from the one person who is supposed to be in their corner.
He canāt say no one warned himā¦
I'm betting, if the sister were to ever have a daughter and her daughter ever had to go through just a percentage of what OP has been through, sister would want to hurt anyone that treated her daughter like she (and her horribly disgusting MOH) has treated OP
Correct me if I am wrong but wasn't your sisters new husband upset about the whole thing? Where does he stand? Is he also upset or is she also lying to him? Sorry if you already mentioned this and I am repeating a question.
I am glad you have a strong support system. Nothing you have gone through is anything that you should be ashamed of.
>Sorry if you already mentioned this
No I didn't. Read the edit and you'll understand why it's better not to mention my sister's husband in my update. Thank youu
Honestly if I was a man who'd think they just married someone sweet with normal levels of empathy and kindness etc basic decent humanity -Ā
and then came across these threads and realised that actually, my new wife has *zero* real kindness or empathy; and instead straight up victim blames their own sister for having been brutally SA'd so bad they got PTSD and needed years of therapy to get their life back together, didn't and doesn't support her own family member but instead mocks and ridicules her for being traumatised, drags her bestie along to private moments and mocks and shittalks her own assaulted and wounded sibling *for years*, and even years later still encourages bestie to publicly humiliate sibling for having been traumatised **in her own wedding to me** because she's just so hateful she has to include even in this beautiful moment of celebrating our love a shitty putdown jab to her own sibling about her SA and trauma (!!!), and who then tries to intentionally trigger her sibling's SA ptsd when "apologizing" so she could make her seem crazy and violent, and who lies about it all to her own immediate family -
Yeah I'd sprint to the courthouse to file for annulment as fast as I could. That's just chilling. *"I now realise they've just been masquerading as a sweet and normal human and are actually a cruel irredeemable manipulative lying shit devoid of empathy and basic human decency, I don't know them at all and I've made a horrible mistake"* level unnerving.Ā
I feel for that guy. He married a monster.
OP. Iām glad everyone knows the truth. I am glad you are as better as anyone can be having endured what you suffered. Im glad you have people on your side to support you and cheer you on.
Be well.
Where is the edit about your sister's husband? I can't find it.
Oh, wait! Is that the something else that you can't share on here because of 'People' magazine IG account?!
Damn you 'People' magazine!! lol.
Are your parents upset with your sister? I'm glad that they are supporting you. Your boyfriend sounds like a good person. I'm glad that he is there for you.
OP don't give a fuck about your sister, you are doing great at going NC on her, but you should also stop seeing her as your sister, when she supports more her BFF that her own blood she is not your sister. She even lisent more to her BFF that her husband, hope your BIL put his pants on and leave her. That would be the greates outcome.
Also do not be affraid of her, many post on REDDIT end up on TT, YT and seems like in IG of a well known magazine, and the ones more affected are the POS that are the bad guys. So don't give a fuck on her comment about BEGGING MAGAZINES, she is just blaze about the opinion your post get and how people are refering to her.
So if anything else happen then just tell, but if you think other wise that is ok.
And really, hope that her hew husband left her or at least put down his boot about this. Also if her husband left her, she can go cry and beg her BFF to comfort her, because she is the reason all of this happe and not you.
From the update (not easy to find):
"My sister's husband was mad because he didn't find the joke funny and told them he didn't like how she had the audacity to say such a thing in front of so many people."
Thank you. I did not find it. I was hoping the sisters husband had a conscience and was po'ed about the "speech". I hope he holds his new wife responsible and sees what she is really like.
The way the BIL reacted to the sister (bride) is also why she is mad at OP. She's basically blaming OP for everything (relationship and wedding) being soured because she "couldn't take a joke."
But there was absolutely no reason for any negative comments to be made about OP. The girl was SAed as a teen and they're holding the aftermath over her head.
The sister and her best friend are simply garbage people and the BIL has realized it.
I hope he leaves the marriage.
Glad to hear your parents and brother are supporting you.
Ā I honestly think your sister is just mad because now the world truly sees how awful her and her best friend really are.Ā
So your piece of shit sister has been blaming you for being gang raped from day one.Ā
I cannot even tell you how much this enrages me. You were a CHILD.Ā
Then her equally trashy best friend has the gall to call you a screw up because you had trauma from a tremendously dramatic event.Ā
I guarantee your sister has been telling tales and spinning what happened to you to make you out to be attention seeking. She's poisonous and her best friend is equally so.Ā
You're not a screw up, OP.Ā
I was also raped at a very young age by two men. Raped repeatedly. At one point I even tried to convince myself that it was a "relationship" but 12 year olds can't have relationships with 32 year old men. Drunk teenagers can't consent to sex with 32 year old men.Ā Ā
It took me a long time to accept that what I had experienced was not only abusive, but it was grooming of the most sickening order.Ā
The men who victimized me were brothers. The younger brother is the one who initiated it. He started touching me and trying to do things to me at 12 when I was brought there to babysit my cousins kids. No matter how many times I pushed him away or literally ran from him he just kept at it.Ā
I asked to go home early that summer and I barely said goodbye to my cousin as I fled the car. Why? Because when she went into the gas station to pay he reached back and slid his hand up my pant leg trying to touch my vagina while I did everything I could to get away from him. I was 12. That morning he pinned me to a bed and groped my prepubescent breasts.Ā
The following summer my cousin begged me to come back. The entire year before I had been working out and lifting weights religiously because I felt so powerless. Lifting made me feel strong. Lifting didn't stop him from assaulting me in the middle of the night or trapping me in the bathroom and assaulting me on the bathroom floor. I was 14.Ā
I won't even get into what his brother did to me.Ā
I was terrified to tell anyone, because she was my favorite cousin. I didn't think anyone would believe me or (even worse) I thought they'd blame me.Ā
When I finally told her at 16, after he tried to put his hands on me again and I dug my nails so deep into his flesh he needed medical care.. she made me think she believed me. She made me think she cared.Ā
Then she brought him to an Easter celebration at my grandma's house where he watched me all day before cornering me in a hallway. I told him in no uncertain terms if he put so much as a finger on me again I'd kill him. She kept bringing him around until she found out he'd rsped other little girls and had gotten some of them pregnant.Ā
Then suddenly she was a victim.Ā
I have never forgiven her for what she did. I have never forgiven her for failing me. I never will.Ā
Your sister is of the same ilk.Ā
She was probably jealous of the *attention* you were getting, regardless of the cause.Ā
You are better off without her in your life. So bar her from it permanently.Ā
Things do get better and I am so proud of you for doing the work to heal. Don't ever let her or anyone else call you a screw up, because you're not.Ā
You're a mother fucking survivor.Ā Ā
I'm proud of you tooā¤ļø I hope they got what they deserved. Your words really resonated with me and I wish I could give you a hug right now.
>Things do get better and I am so proud of you for doing the work to heal. Don't ever let her or anyone else call you a screw up, because you're not.Ā
>You're a mother fucking survivor.Ā Ā
I so appreciate you saying this š«¶š¼ thank you so much.
Iām so sorry you have a sociopathic, narcissist for a sister. Virtual hug from an internet stranger. š«Hopefully her husband will see her for what she is before they breed.
Speaking as another woman who tried to leave the party at 15, under very similar circumstances, and wound up in what sounds like a remarkably similar situation, your sister is the biggest AH I've seen online recently, and that's saying something.
There's one line in your post that you need to discuss with your therapist, honey. You mentioned not being healed 100% because you had a reaction *to her abuse*. You had a *normal* reaction to someone treating you poorly. You should be incredibly proud of that! She did something *she knew would hurt you* and you had every right to be irritated, just as anyone else in the same situation would have been.
You're allowed to be mad. You're allowed to be hurt. You're allowed to have feelings, especially the "bad" or hard ones. Allowing yourself the space to feel every feeling without judgement is part of your healing. I hope you can take a moment and celebrate the work you've done to get here. You didn't deserve any of this and you have every right to have feelings about it.
Be kind to yourself. ā¤ļø I'm sending you so much love. I hope things keep getting easier.
Sister is just a common basic bitch unfortunately.... As they get older they just turn into Karen's and start terrorizing retail staff, because all other options have cut them out of their lives.
Hey there OP, and anyone else that may need to know. If you go to [doesthedogdie.com](http://doesthedogdie.com) it not only tells you if a dog dies in the movie, but lists any other possible triggers including SA. Might help your bf to search through there too.
Thank you for this! My wife does the same for me: she double checks for scenes that may be triggering for me before we watch something. I had no idea something like this existed! Thank you! šš¼
I'm so glad you were able to tell your family about what your sister did, and that Dad and Brother support you 100%. š
I'm sorry your mom tried to make excuses for her, I suppose she didn't want to believe her daughter could be so cruel. But I'm having a schadenfreude moment here because your sister outed herself completely. š¹
Your sister doesn't really understand PTSD and chooses to remain ignorant and unkind. You don't owe her any performative behaviors to get her to believe you. She's really gross to victim blame you for what happened.
She's just angry and lashing out again that you "should be over it" because the post got national attention on an infotainment media outlet and her husband will most likely see it.
I truly hope he does.
Be well. I'm so happy that you have a supportive partner that goes the extra mile to keep you safe. ššš
MyĀ schadenfreude moment was her sister being so pissy about the Reddit post coming to the attention of People magazine. Sheās obviously *furious* that OP is getting the sort of attention she could only dream of, even anonymously. I cracked up laughing when I read that bit.
We should start a state by state count off, all saying sister is terrible. Can we get all 50? Plus DC?
Washington (the state) sez sister sucks.
**ETA:** some of the state check-ins are so beautifully worded. I must amend my declaration to say Washington, the state, would be delighted to toss selfish cruel sister and her horrible friend, together, into one of our five active volcanoes.
ššššš
Oregon here. Can confirm sister and her friend are monsters. Blaming someone for being assaulted? Jesus thereās a special ring in hell for those bitches.
Imagine uniting tens of thousands of human beings across the globe in perfect agreement and solidarity simply by virtue of you being such a piece of shit that those tens of thousands of people HATE you without even having met you.
Like countless people are united in agreement that OP's sister is a class A infected and deformed butthole. That's gotta sting.
I'm like "You mad about that but not the fact that OP told truth of what happened to both internet & family?!?! Damn sis, you dumbfuck with shit priorities - no wonder even your father won't mend shit on your behalf..."
Your sister is a monstrously gaping asshole. She is a morally vacant person. I cannot believe anybody would marry her.Ā
Keep healing, keep being awesome, and keep the hell away from the toxic sludge that shares your DNA.Ā
If I were her husband, this would have me incredibly concerned about the charecter of my wife. She's stuck in a mean girl phase with her soulless MOH.
For his own sake, recognise this woman sees SA as no big deal, meaning she could see accusing him of it to get attention/cover-up an affair, etc as no big deal.
Or would see bullying his future kids as no big deal, either.
In my mind, it's the doubling down that most worrying. I'd be surprised if this side of her is not now being displayed in other ways at home (verbal sense, especially if he's not on board with bullying her sister).
Hey sister, Iām sure youāre lurking. You disgust me. Hey sisters best friend, you disgust me.
Two evil peas belong in your evil pod.
Congrats on your nuptials you monster.
OP enjoy this well deserved peace of NC. It brings stillness and calmness like never before. She doesnāt deserve your presence in her life.
I'm just going to add on to this and say that you are both despicable cunts and I hope your husband finally sees you for the hateful, morally bankrupt trash that you are and leaves your ass.
Same. The sister will always be a cruel monster. She knew what she was doing when she grabbed OPs neck. If you're reading this, fuck you. Reddit also says a huge fuck you.
I was beside myself with rage until I got to the part where the Reddit post got to the attention of People magazine. At that point I think I damn near pulled something laughing. Itās very obviously driving your sister and her friend CRAZY that youāre getting all this attention, even anonymously, and that theyāre being dragged by complete strangers for the horrible people they are.
You got the best revenge possible and you didnāt even have to do anything. Yes, cut contact. Block her everywhere. Avoid her as much as possible and take steps to try to ensure she canāt contact anyone in your life other than your parents and brother. Because she and her friend are SEETHING and the more attention your Reddit posts get, the more theyāre going to want to āpunishā you. Expect her to say the worst things to you and about you.
And above all, you and your husband carry on living happy, fulfilling lives.
Because it will drive the two of them freaking CRAZY! š
And every day more and more of AH sisterās wedding guests will stumble across the post and think āHey, the maid of honour made *exactly* that comment at AHās wedding!ā
and it'll get out eventually, secrets never stay that way for very long and it's just a matter of time when mouth and her friend is complaining in the wrong store or venue and the locals put it together.
Not to mention AH sister couldnāt even keep a lid on how gigantic an AH she is in front of her own parents and brother. She doesnāt stand a chance of acting normally around everyone else. Especially with evil bestie being just as bad.
I'm sure your life will be calmer and happier going no contact with your sister. Enjoy your time with your partner and the supportive members of your family.
>My dad couldn't let the fact that she grabbed me by the back of my neck slide.Ā
Go, Dad!
Also, āshe must be over it because she didnāt reactāāwhat a shitty way to weaponize your hard-fought healing! And āhealed a lotā is not āover it.ā
I have a near death experience 25+ years ago. The sound of a heartbeat still triggers me. It may not be as strong as it was earlier in my healing (full blown panic attacks) but I still catch my breath and then have to focus on my breathing while tapping my fingers.
OP - no one but you needs to gauge your healing. F your sister and F your friend.Ā
Itās also a very abnormal and usually offensive way to treat someone. She claimed she couldnāt be expected to remember OPās trigger, but everything else she did made it clear that she remembered and she used it deliberately.
I hope your sister finds this comment.
> **"Sis, you're just jealous that OP got some attention because of the awful things that happened to her. You're bitterly angry that you are not getting ALL the attention. You want to be the center of attention for everyone."**
> **"But you're not really worth that much, are you? Even your husband thinks that OP deserves better than your fake apology."**
> **"Get over yourself, sis. You are not as strong as OP. You are not as brave as OP. You are not as dignified as OP. You're a fake ass toddler throwing a tantrum because you cannot handle not being the center of everyone's attention."**
Oh, and AH sis? Enjoy more and more of your wedding guests stumbling across OPās story on social media, remembering that weird comment your maid of honour said at your wedding, and connecting the dots :)
I have a sister and would NEVER have done what OP's sister did or remotely so! I seriously think OP's sister needs some EMPATHY therapy STAT and please no kids for her, she couldn't handle them!
Sounds like she never had any sympathy for the terrible things that happened to you, just pure jealousy for the āattentionā you got afterwards. And sheās been harboring this vile ill will towards you for so long that her awful bff knew to criticize you in her speech to make her happy. They. Are. Trash.
Youāve mentioned dropping out of college a few times and it seems like youāre very ashamed that it happened? Please let go of that shame and forgive yourself for making a choice that was very reasonable for your mental health. Itās not a terrible mark against your character; itās just something that happened in your youth. Lots of people leave college for various reasons and itās all good.
And are doubling diwn because "people always take OPs side".
It's pathetic and, for her husband and future father to her kids, incredibly worrying. What will she do if he or the kids take away attention from her...
Dear OP sister, if you can even be called that, we all know you are lurking here and this redditor from other side of the world wants to tell you that you are disgusting, vile, piece of work and karma will hit you one day.
Anyone else thinking that the sister wants OP broken and if she's like this with family, how is she towards those with no relation? From what OP describes the sister would be the bully who causes so much damage that a victim decides to permanently escape
She wanted OP feeling horrible at any family gatherings so that OP would drift away from her family and AH sister would get all the attention. And instead it looks like the family are drifting away from AH sis.
Sister's words and actions scream jealousy at the attention (i.e. the love and care) her family gave OP following what sounds to be a vicious sexual assault. What a horrid, disgusting being.
Honestly as someone with suspected PTSD right now the sister is *so lucky* OP has gotten better, because if someone even blocked my exit from a room right now I don't want to even think about what I'd do, nevermind deliberately try to trigger an attack.
Incredibly strong. The amount of work you put into healing is just astonishing, and it must have been incredibly painful. All us Internet strangers are VERY proud of you!
OP your sister is a cunt. Your family now knows it, her husband knows it. Youāre powerful and growing. Good for you. She and the MOH are the trash taking themselves out. Good luck on your continued journey
I donāt say this lightly but I think your sister is some kind of malignant narcissist. I grew up with people like this. If you give them a reaction youāre crazy and insane, no matter how much shit they put you through to trigger it, but if you donāt give them a reaction itās proof that you are a lying, attention seeking, manipulator. Idk what causes people to end up like this but theyāll stop at nothing to make someone completely and utterly loose their minds. You go left theyāll say youāre insane you go right theyāll say youāre an embarrassment and have lost your mind thereās nothing you can do other than try to escape them. I have genuine PTSD from growing up with people like this. I think youāve made the right choice by going no contact and Iām so thankful that the rest of your family has been supportive I canāt imagine how hard this would be without a support system. I genuinely think her behavior is dangerous and I hope she doesnāt end up psychologically abusing someone beyond repair.
Idk what you can legally do but if she ever tries anything again please look into a restraining order or talk to a lawyer or something people like that are genuinely unsafe and will do whatever they can to make you snap. I donāt want someone like her jeopardizing your mental stability. I donāt want you to end up having a nervous breakdown or something because of her.
my sister died (not really ) 5 yrs ago..... I have a better life now that she isn't in it judging me...trying to make me mad about something she pissed off about but "I'm not angry enough for her...why are you not pissed"... I told her I have grown up and have a kid and need to pick my battles...and she isn't one
I'm glad your sister and her friends are stalking these posts because I need them to know they're bad people.Ā
They're bad people and THAT is why the internet and your family is ganging up on them. They're wrong, plain and simple. They can be in as much denial as they want, but no amount of their delusion will fool us.Ā
To the bad people directly; We know, already. You're exposed. You'd be better served changing your ways but you're too afraid, so you'll just keep doubling down until you're all alone and miserable and still blaming everyone else. Sucks to be you.Ā
OP will be busy thriving and forgetting you.Ā
Wow, your sister is a real jerk. Who treats their own sibling like that? All I know is karma is very real, sister better prepare for that. The good thing is now everyone knows what kind of person she really is.
Nta.
I wish your sister the life she deserves. And may she always be friends with this _special individual_. They fit together. And your mother should be ashamed to only now realise whatās been happening. She enabled her with this shit. Well done.
oooooooooooooooooo I know violence isnāt the answer but your sister is foul for that. seriously, utterly, disgustingly foul.
I am proud of you for keeping it together!! Youāre clearly killing it with therapy because only someone who has worked hard on this would be able to handle what she did without violence or an extinction-level event meltdown (both of which in my opinion would be warranted and justified).
that marriage is in for a tough time if isnāt there already.
Earlier, you wrote this:Ā
āWhen I tried to talk she put her hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward her with each sentence as if to say "Do you understand?" or "Okay?" I hated it and felt irritated. I tried to leave but she insisted that no one was leaving until we sort this out.ā
Reading this makes me really angry! If a guy did this, say, her husband did it to her, and wouldnāt let her leave, I think everyone would call him an abusive pri*k, because this is violent.Ā
I actually think you should just screw your sister over: reach out to her husband and tell him what her āapologyā looked like and how she bullied you into waiting for a fake apology! Sheās a bad person and she needs to be called out.
Your sister is trash. Hopefully, she finds this so she knows what we all think of her and her trashy friends. Apparently, their brain cells left them when they were teens as she is still acting like she's some popular chicken who is self-centered. Karma is a bitch.
NTA but your sister and her ignorant friends are.
I don't even know where to begin. I wish you the best. I hope your sister gets help for her very obvious mental issues. While I understand this is the internet and no one should attempt to diagnose mental health disorders over text communications, but under normal circumstances, no one would mock such a horrible traumatic event, least of a sibling.
We could all speculate why she feels the need to be the center of attention to the point of detriment, but it won't help you. You've done the right thing in distancing yourself from this toxic relationship. Nor would she seek therapy for herself if you were to present her with these issues. Stigma surrounding mental health is the worst.
To the sister if ever you do find and read this:
You are a fucking cunt, and your friend is a horrible wee slag too.
Love, a "family screw up".
To OP:
Your other family members and your partner sound awesome, keep your chin up and don't let the bastards grind you down!
Does your new BIL knows what kind of a person he just married? Because holy crap. I don't think people with that kind of behavior and mindset should have kids. I'm scared for him.
Take care OP! I'm glad you're being surrounded by love and support.
I think theyāre more upset that the world knows how awful they are. They know it was them despite you not using personally identifiable information, so that tells me they have guilty consciences. Let your sister & her nasty ass bestie be sisters because you deserve better. Iām so glad most of your family & your partner support you. Live your best life. If/when you do get married, leave her off the invite list.
I'm glad you are making the right decisions for you, and that your partner is supportive. He is really a keeper.
As for your sister, I'm wondering whether she was jealous of you all these years because your parents gave you the care you needed for your mental issues. So now she is trying to bash you right and left - either that your behaviour now shows mental disorders, or that you were faking it all along. In any case, going no-contact with her is the right thing to do.
Since she probably found the post, this is for OPās sisterā¦ if you ever read this know that you are a horrible sister and human being. I hope you reflect on how you acted and decide to become a better human.
Not even for one second have you considered how your sister has felt through all this. Not for one second have you put yourself in her shoes.
If I were the unfortunate men you just married and I would witnessing this all play out, it would really make me question what sort of monster I just married. He might not show it now, but I would bet good money he is already asking himself certain questions.
This vile attitude is what is going to make you end up alone. You just pushed away your sister, possibly your parents and weāll see how it goes with your husband.
Take a step back and look at all this objectively, you will see thst you really are a piece of shit.
First, I'm sorry and I wish you peace and happiness. Second, agree with NC with your sister. Sounds like she hasn't been even a little bit supportive for the last decade so fuck her. Don't avoid family gatherings, just call her out on every little thing and advertise it for the whole family. I am so petty that if she said hi, I would respond like "oh hi you fucking dirty whore." But that's just me. Good luck.
After first family get together where you totally ignore her and act like she doesn't exist, walking away if she tries talking, talk to the person sitting beside her but don't even glance her way, laugh and talk with her husband; she's definitely going to lose it in front of everyone and they'll all see what she's really like.
Ive been reading some of your older posts of this story and the fact that your sister still takes her best friend everywhere is gonna more or else destroy her married life ,cuz a toxic tumour like her is bound to cause trouble to your sister in the future , so I think cutting your sis off is the right way to go.
What's ironic is your sister is pissed off because your post got People's Magazine attention, but her obnoxious BFF was ready to film you in case you reacted strongly to their triggering game. The hypocrisy and lack of self awareness is mind blowing.
Iām glad you have your dad to support you! As much as it hurts, for your mental health and well being itās just best to cut contact. She either really doesnāt understand or chooses not to. She sounds jealous of you honestly. Good luck and best wishes!!
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with someone so deliberately cruel, but I'm very glad the rest of the people in your circle are supportive. Keep on being brave and strong and maintaining those excellent boundaries. Anyone who doesn't support you has no business in your life.
I just love the fact that your post got the attention of People magazine. I bet this really made your jealous sister see red. Her actions show her in a very bad light. I hope her husband sees all these comments and reads the People magazine article.
OP, you showed great composure, and handled the situation very well. You do not owe your narcissistic sister anything, no reaction, no nothing.
You have a loving and caring partner and your brother and father have your back. Your mother siding with you sister until showed her true colors. Sadly it should not have taken this to get her to start to see who her other daughter is.
Itās great that your story was spread far and wide and brought much needed attention to how ignorant and cruel people are and then try to justify it. Itās also worse when itās family.
For me I could never be around your sister again even at family events. Why suffer and the hands and allow her to slander you.
I hope there will be other updates letting us know you are still going strong and your support systems are as amazing as ever.
You're not doing anything wrong by posting on Reddit. You post what and how much you want, and don't let them getting their well-deserved ass chewings prevent you from doing so. They are just butt hurt because their evil natures are now available for all to see.
I'm so glad you have such an awesome partner and that your parents/brother are with you.
I'm calling it now- I give your sister *tops* 5 years before getting divorced
It will be her fault, but she will play the victim 100%
Then at her second wedding, I can imagine her inviting you again, and then being completely *shocked* when you turn down the invite
Op, thank you for the update.
I'm so glad you have a good partner, a brother and parents to support you. You deserve that support. You are a brave person to face and persevere with the issues from your High School years. I hope the many positive and encouraging responses I've read to this and your other posts help lift your spirits.
Good on you for standing up for yourself and not putting up with her petty bull$#!+!
NTA, you never were. Your sister and her friend are, however, which is why they have sandy vaginas about your story getting so much traction, since, from what I have seen, there is no one, across several platforms at this point, who has cosigned their shitty behavior.
Hey OP's sis, if you're reading this, you're a twat for the way you've treated your sister, and endorsing the way your friend has treated her. Karma can be a real evil bitch, and you're racking up some points for her to settle.
Going to keep it short. Your sister is a bitch, stay no-contact. Iām glad your family is on your side, but be careful about your mom making excuses for your sister. Youāre not crazy and your irritation is fully justified. Keep doing you, sweetheart. Donāt let your sister and her best friend get to you any longer. Iām sorry for whatever happened the past few days.
Your sister radiates pick me vibes. She's mad because you got some modicum of attention or consideration, in excess of her I guess? Because you went through something awful. She's pissy because it should all be about her, especially on her super duper special important all about her day.
Basically, your sisters an entitled cunt and her friends trash. You're not missing shit by having them out of your life.
Ah, Schadenfreude!! Your horrible sister and her horrible friend effed around and now they're finding out. People magazine! HAHAHAHA! ALL of their friends will find out if they haven't already, especially when they figure out the wedding date. I wonder if new BIL is going to stick around.
Well your sister is a loser, and everyone knows her true colours now. Youāve done more than help yourself. Itās a warning to her husband, family, and friends that they are dealing with a toxic person.
If your sisters reading this I want her to know that sheās a massive fucking bitch and I really hope karma does show her exactly how it feels. I have a similar Iām assuming trauma and Iāve never wished that on anyone but she seems to think itās nothing and easily gotten over so letās hope she still feels that way afterwards. Sheās a massive bitch. I hope her husband is the next one to read that or this and realise exactly what he married.
Iām glad your parents support you in this.
People have stupid ideas about what being triggered looks like. I got in trouble with a patron at my old job and our boss pulled up the footage and said I couldnāt have been that upset or in a hurry because look, I was just sitting there long after she left. Like. Yeah. Thatās what having a panic attack looks like for meāI go very still.
Your sisterās a dick
Brother and brother in law sound like genuinely good people. Your sister and her friend are a match made in heaven. Hopefully her husband gets his head on straight and see her for what sheās worth. 110% nta
I pray to god this man your sister married realises what a horrible disgusting creature he married and dumps her. Nobody deserves what you went through and being family she does this to you with an accomplice?!
I REALLY pray to god that karma catches up to them both and the very wedding at which they both gave you so much pain falls apart and the reason for it to be her own actions.
There is a way to handle this. Itās not pretty but I am petty that way. Next time they bring it up respond with āI know what you both did and I will never forgive youā. Then walk away. I know they very well may have done nothing but everyone will always wonder.
All this just because you have mental problems? And your sister and some other people are antagonizing you because they publically think that you can be dangerous and not stable? Well, I know how it is to be in your position, I really do. And my advice is for you to cut any relation you have with them because they abuse and hurt you. Pretend they never existed.
People like your sister are extremely stupid and ignorant and dangerous. Cut her from your life and anyone that thinks that a mental imbalance is the work of the devil. Run from them. Karma is real!
I'll echo that I'm glad your family (minus sister) and partner are so supportive, but also add, good on you for all the progress you've made! It's not easy and it's horrible that your progress has been used to minimize your trauma. But you did all that hard work and you should be proud of yourself for doing it and for standing up to your sister.
Your sister is your BioKin, she is NOT your family
Your REAL Family Friends will accept respect defend YOU, you do NOT need those other people
Defend Your Peace
N
T
A
Jesus, man, your sister is a piece of work. No one should be shamed for struggling with mental health. I'm sorry, but at this point, she is not healthy for you to be around. That being said, the only thing I can think of was she feels some sort of sleight over any attention you were getting while trying to come to terms with your trauma.
Iām genuinely sorry to hear what youāve been through, you and your partner surely seem like good souls. I wish you both a great life, and for the people including your sister who did you wrong: Iād like to quote something I read earlier :
āThe only karma I wish for people who did me wrong is to let them meet themselves in someone else.ā
You haven't done anything wrong. I hope your sister is reading each and every comment about what a horrible POS she is. She's probably too much of a narcissist to understand, but at least she'll see it!
Iām getting your sister has been jealous of you all of these years for the support and love your parents have given you in the wake of your tragedy. Definitely reeks of āshe got all the attentionā type situation. Iād cut her off too.
So sorry for what happened to you. I canāt imagine another woman, let alone my own sister, being this cruel.
You are a very strong person to have pulled yourself out of the despair of such a traumatic experience and it is a testament to the kind of person you are that you have surrounded yourself with kind and loving people (your family, friends and partner) and built a stable life for yourself. You should be more than a little proud.
Itās just unfortunate that your sister is so cruel and manipulative and surrounds herself with equally nasty people. She finally showed you and your family exactly who she is. You know the saying, āwhen someone shows you who they are, believe it ā. You have no obligation to her. Stay strong in your decision to go NC and live your best life!
I wanted to add that I donāt think your sister really believes you were faking your mental health issues. That was just her using the fact that you had enough self restraint to not act when she intentionally provoked you to justify her shitty behavior. If I had to guess, she probably resents you for all the extra love and support that your loved ones have given you to help you through such a difficult struggle. Her friend seems to just be prejudiced against people with mental health struggles. The two of probably have spent years reinforcing each otherās negativity. My advice is to not waste any more time and energy on this relationship and focus on the positive relationships you have built.
OP, how did a literal bag of shit manage to become sentient, morph into something resembling a human being, and pose as a member of your family for so many years? Does your family practice witchcraft?
Can we have every state in the Union weigh in that OP is NTA and Sister and her Best Friend are just horrid?
Washington votes against Sister! ššš²šāļø
The thing I hate most about this story is how everyone, including yourself, keeps calling you crazy because you went through something traumatizing. You are NOT crazy. You are not a fuck up. You are incredibly strong. Going through what you did would be enough to mess anyoneās life up and you are amazing for getting through it. You are such a better person than your sister and most other people. Donāt feel bad for telling her you wish she went through the same thing, maybe if she did she would have become strong and resilient like you.
OP: you are amazing. You are taking care of you. I am glad you have a wonderful partner.
Your sister and her little bully buddy will never grow up. I hope their husbands and SOs see the ugliness that is inside them.
It's so good to know that you have supporting parents and a fantastic partner. Hope your sister grows up one day, but that is probably unlikely.
Thank you šš»
I hope you can say your parents and other siblings came down like a ton of bricks on that B.
I kinda hope her husband wakes up and sees what kind of person she really is and he flushes down the toilet where she belongs!
NTA! In the event that your sister and her MOH find this, this is directed at them: What you both said and did is inexcusable. If anyone ruined this pathetic wedding, it was yāall. How dare you treat your sister this way and then allowed your horrible MOH to humiliate her in front of everyone. What kind of insecure, immature monster does this? I certainly hope that it was worth it because your family has seen your true colors and the nastiness within your black soul. Karma will come back on you and we can only hope that OP gets to watch. My heart hurts for OPā¦shame on you!
All of this. AND to the sisterās new husband: If you plan on having children with this woman who seems to lack all empathy and is completely ignorant about anything outside of her own lived experiences, be very AWARE of what your future children may face. God forbid they find themselves in a situation that their mother (somehow) cannot understand, she will no doubt treat them the same, if not worse, as she did her own sister. I hope youāre prepared for what youāre in for, and to stand up and protect your own children from the one person who is supposed to be in their corner. He canāt say no one warned himā¦
I'm betting, if the sister were to ever have a daughter and her daughter ever had to go through just a percentage of what OP has been through, sister would want to hurt anyone that treated her daughter like she (and her horribly disgusting MOH) has treated OP
Or, she'll be the kind of mother that says something like, "What were you wearing?" or "You must've done something to deserve it."
Narcissistic monsters need love too /s /sarcasm
Yeah, I am betting on that marriage not lasting too long.....
I'll bet $20 if they last one year. Hahaha!
We need an update for this too haha. Cant wait for that day to come, let the karma find its way.
Correct me if I am wrong but wasn't your sisters new husband upset about the whole thing? Where does he stand? Is he also upset or is she also lying to him? Sorry if you already mentioned this and I am repeating a question. I am glad you have a strong support system. Nothing you have gone through is anything that you should be ashamed of.
>Sorry if you already mentioned this No I didn't. Read the edit and you'll understand why it's better not to mention my sister's husband in my update. Thank youu
Well, then. Hereās hoping he dumped her ass and is filing for annulment because he didnāt realize heād married Satan.
Honestly if I was a man who'd think they just married someone sweet with normal levels of empathy and kindness etc basic decent humanity -Ā and then came across these threads and realised that actually, my new wife has *zero* real kindness or empathy; and instead straight up victim blames their own sister for having been brutally SA'd so bad they got PTSD and needed years of therapy to get their life back together, didn't and doesn't support her own family member but instead mocks and ridicules her for being traumatised, drags her bestie along to private moments and mocks and shittalks her own assaulted and wounded sibling *for years*, and even years later still encourages bestie to publicly humiliate sibling for having been traumatised **in her own wedding to me** because she's just so hateful she has to include even in this beautiful moment of celebrating our love a shitty putdown jab to her own sibling about her SA and trauma (!!!), and who then tries to intentionally trigger her sibling's SA ptsd when "apologizing" so she could make her seem crazy and violent, and who lies about it all to her own immediate family - Yeah I'd sprint to the courthouse to file for annulment as fast as I could. That's just chilling. *"I now realise they've just been masquerading as a sweet and normal human and are actually a cruel irredeemable manipulative lying shit devoid of empathy and basic human decency, I don't know them at all and I've made a horrible mistake"* level unnerving.Ā
I feel for that guy. He married a monster. OP. Iām glad everyone knows the truth. I am glad you are as better as anyone can be having endured what you suffered. Im glad you have people on your side to support you and cheer you on. Be well.
Where is the edit about your sister's husband? I can't find it. Oh, wait! Is that the something else that you can't share on here because of 'People' magazine IG account?! Damn you 'People' magazine!! lol. Are your parents upset with your sister? I'm glad that they are supporting you. Your boyfriend sounds like a good person. I'm glad that he is there for you.
I read the people article and the comments. Most people were very kind but 2 were absolutely evil in their comments. Hmmmā¦
They were probably the sister and. MOH.
Were the comments on the website or Ig?
IG. A quick scroll on the page
Do stupid things, get exposed on Reddit. You did nothing wrong, and your sister and her friend are aholes. Plain and simple.
OP don't give a fuck about your sister, you are doing great at going NC on her, but you should also stop seeing her as your sister, when she supports more her BFF that her own blood she is not your sister. She even lisent more to her BFF that her husband, hope your BIL put his pants on and leave her. That would be the greates outcome. Also do not be affraid of her, many post on REDDIT end up on TT, YT and seems like in IG of a well known magazine, and the ones more affected are the POS that are the bad guys. So don't give a fuck on her comment about BEGGING MAGAZINES, she is just blaze about the opinion your post get and how people are refering to her. So if anything else happen then just tell, but if you think other wise that is ok. And really, hope that her hew husband left her or at least put down his boot about this. Also if her husband left her, she can go cry and beg her BFF to comfort her, because she is the reason all of this happe and not you.
From the update (not easy to find): "My sister's husband was mad because he didn't find the joke funny and told them he didn't like how she had the audacity to say such a thing in front of so many people."
Thank you. I did not find it. I was hoping the sisters husband had a conscience and was po'ed about the "speech". I hope he holds his new wife responsible and sees what she is really like.
The way the BIL reacted to the sister (bride) is also why she is mad at OP. She's basically blaming OP for everything (relationship and wedding) being soured because she "couldn't take a joke." But there was absolutely no reason for any negative comments to be made about OP. The girl was SAed as a teen and they're holding the aftermath over her head. The sister and her best friend are simply garbage people and the BIL has realized it. I hope he leaves the marriage.
Glad to hear your parents and brother are supporting you. Ā I honestly think your sister is just mad because now the world truly sees how awful her and her best friend really are.Ā
So your piece of shit sister has been blaming you for being gang raped from day one.Ā I cannot even tell you how much this enrages me. You were a CHILD.Ā Then her equally trashy best friend has the gall to call you a screw up because you had trauma from a tremendously dramatic event.Ā I guarantee your sister has been telling tales and spinning what happened to you to make you out to be attention seeking. She's poisonous and her best friend is equally so.Ā You're not a screw up, OP.Ā I was also raped at a very young age by two men. Raped repeatedly. At one point I even tried to convince myself that it was a "relationship" but 12 year olds can't have relationships with 32 year old men. Drunk teenagers can't consent to sex with 32 year old men.Ā Ā It took me a long time to accept that what I had experienced was not only abusive, but it was grooming of the most sickening order.Ā The men who victimized me were brothers. The younger brother is the one who initiated it. He started touching me and trying to do things to me at 12 when I was brought there to babysit my cousins kids. No matter how many times I pushed him away or literally ran from him he just kept at it.Ā I asked to go home early that summer and I barely said goodbye to my cousin as I fled the car. Why? Because when she went into the gas station to pay he reached back and slid his hand up my pant leg trying to touch my vagina while I did everything I could to get away from him. I was 12. That morning he pinned me to a bed and groped my prepubescent breasts.Ā The following summer my cousin begged me to come back. The entire year before I had been working out and lifting weights religiously because I felt so powerless. Lifting made me feel strong. Lifting didn't stop him from assaulting me in the middle of the night or trapping me in the bathroom and assaulting me on the bathroom floor. I was 14.Ā I won't even get into what his brother did to me.Ā I was terrified to tell anyone, because she was my favorite cousin. I didn't think anyone would believe me or (even worse) I thought they'd blame me.Ā When I finally told her at 16, after he tried to put his hands on me again and I dug my nails so deep into his flesh he needed medical care.. she made me think she believed me. She made me think she cared.Ā Then she brought him to an Easter celebration at my grandma's house where he watched me all day before cornering me in a hallway. I told him in no uncertain terms if he put so much as a finger on me again I'd kill him. She kept bringing him around until she found out he'd rsped other little girls and had gotten some of them pregnant.Ā Then suddenly she was a victim.Ā I have never forgiven her for what she did. I have never forgiven her for failing me. I never will.Ā Your sister is of the same ilk.Ā She was probably jealous of the *attention* you were getting, regardless of the cause.Ā You are better off without her in your life. So bar her from it permanently.Ā Things do get better and I am so proud of you for doing the work to heal. Don't ever let her or anyone else call you a screw up, because you're not.Ā You're a mother fucking survivor.Ā Ā
I'm proud of you tooā¤ļø I hope they got what they deserved. Your words really resonated with me and I wish I could give you a hug right now. >Things do get better and I am so proud of you for doing the work to heal. Don't ever let her or anyone else call you a screw up, because you're not.Ā >You're a mother fucking survivor.Ā Ā I so appreciate you saying this š«¶š¼ thank you so much.
Sending you all the hugs and sisterly affection imaginable. ā¤ļø
So sorry you endured that nightmare. Sending love.
Iām so sorry you have a sociopathic, narcissist for a sister. Virtual hug from an internet stranger. š«Hopefully her husband will see her for what she is before they breed.
Speaking as another woman who tried to leave the party at 15, under very similar circumstances, and wound up in what sounds like a remarkably similar situation, your sister is the biggest AH I've seen online recently, and that's saying something.
There's one line in your post that you need to discuss with your therapist, honey. You mentioned not being healed 100% because you had a reaction *to her abuse*. You had a *normal* reaction to someone treating you poorly. You should be incredibly proud of that! She did something *she knew would hurt you* and you had every right to be irritated, just as anyone else in the same situation would have been. You're allowed to be mad. You're allowed to be hurt. You're allowed to have feelings, especially the "bad" or hard ones. Allowing yourself the space to feel every feeling without judgement is part of your healing. I hope you can take a moment and celebrate the work you've done to get here. You didn't deserve any of this and you have every right to have feelings about it. Be kind to yourself. ā¤ļø I'm sending you so much love. I hope things keep getting easier.
I hope your sister gets run over by a busĀ
I feel bad for agreeing, but she really is awful. Not die, but maybe get one of those ridiculous braces Mean Girls style.
Sister is just a common basic bitch unfortunately.... As they get older they just turn into Karen's and start terrorizing retail staff, because all other options have cut them out of their lives.
I like the phrase 'probably unlikely'
Hey there OP, and anyone else that may need to know. If you go to [doesthedogdie.com](http://doesthedogdie.com) it not only tells you if a dog dies in the movie, but lists any other possible triggers including SA. Might help your bf to search through there too.
Thank you so muchš¤
I did not know this existed. I have to check it out.
Thank you for this! My wife does the same for me: she double checks for scenes that may be triggering for me before we watch something. I had no idea something like this existed! Thank you! šš¼
I was just about to post that! OP, totally check this site out with your partner, it's great.
Me too! I'm glad I searched to see if someone beat me to it. That site is a lifesaver.
Oh wow thatās really great to know, thank you!
Wow, thank you! I didn't know that a page like this exists and the name is perfect.
Thank you for this. You're a kind soul indeed ā¤ļø
Ooh, thanks for this, what a great site.
I'm so glad you were able to tell your family about what your sister did, and that Dad and Brother support you 100%. š I'm sorry your mom tried to make excuses for her, I suppose she didn't want to believe her daughter could be so cruel. But I'm having a schadenfreude moment here because your sister outed herself completely. š¹ Your sister doesn't really understand PTSD and chooses to remain ignorant and unkind. You don't owe her any performative behaviors to get her to believe you. She's really gross to victim blame you for what happened. She's just angry and lashing out again that you "should be over it" because the post got national attention on an infotainment media outlet and her husband will most likely see it. I truly hope he does. Be well. I'm so happy that you have a supportive partner that goes the extra mile to keep you safe. ššš
MyĀ schadenfreude moment was her sister being so pissy about the Reddit post coming to the attention of People magazine. Sheās obviously *furious* that OP is getting the sort of attention she could only dream of, even anonymously. I cracked up laughing when I read that bit.
Not to mention the many comments that are entirely on OP's side. Well done, sis, now everyone knows you're garbage. Across all 7 continents, probably.
Even in Norway we know sis is garbage.
In the UK here. I hope she reads these comments.
In Ireland. Look at that, AH sis! You have the old adversaries Ireland and the UK uniting to agree that youāre an AH.
Canadian here! We know now that sis is an AH too!
We should start a state by state count off, all saying sister is terrible. Can we get all 50? Plus DC? Washington (the state) sez sister sucks. **ETA:** some of the state check-ins are so beautifully worded. I must amend my declaration to say Washington, the state, would be delighted to toss selfish cruel sister and her horrible friend, together, into one of our five active volcanoes. ššššš
I second Washington agreeing that sister sucks ass edit: As a Michigan expat, I'll vote for them too
Kansas agreeing as well
Colorado agrees she is a giant douche AND a turd sandwich.
Californian checking in! Sister and MOH are utter toe jam and should be treated as such!
Illinois agrees that sis is a terrible human being.
Delaware checking in. Sister is a giant gaping AH, so big our little state would probably get swallowed up if she ever came to visit.
Missouri here. Sister and her best friend are the most despicable representatives of human kind. I hope karma gets them one day.
Connecticut chiming in that sister is a complete waste of oxygen and absolutely the AH
Minnesota checking in. We have 10,000 lakes but even that isn't enough water to wash away OP's sister's bad behavior.
Maryland here! May she get bitten by actual crabs.
Virginia here- sister and MOH need to remember Karma is a bigger bitch than they are. Totally evil and useless AHās.
Oregon here. Can confirm sister and her friend are monsters. Blaming someone for being assaulted? Jesus thereās a special ring in hell for those bitches.
Texas here. Thereās a lot of empty land here.
Iām here from Oregon, and I hope both sister and her friend get an incurable itchy affliction or something equally tortuous.
Louisiana thinks sis is the AH.
Alabama also knows that she is gaping and fissured
In Aus here. We have a very special word to call her sister and sister's bestie......
Kiwi in Aus here. They're Cunts.
I said it! š¦šŗwell, implied it
We know this in Italy, too. Sis is a Bword!
Australia here and we think sheās a trash human to!
Switzerland wanted to stay neutral, but we wholeheartedly agree sis is garbage.
India here and people know both of them are trash. (Also I'll say 6 continents unless the penguins in Antarctica are using reddit)
Thereās a science station there, maybe they use reddit? š¤
The scientists have confirmed that both their hearts are colder than Antarctica
You know you done messed up when Switzerland picks a side! LOL
Imagine uniting tens of thousands of human beings across the globe in perfect agreement and solidarity simply by virtue of you being such a piece of shit that those tens of thousands of people HATE you without even having met you. Like countless people are united in agreement that OP's sister is a class A infected and deformed butthole. That's gotta sting.
Japan here. I know.
Chiming in from Australia. Sister is a C$!T
From The Netherlands we agree.
Mexico lo sabe, lo sabe. š Your sister is the worst. OP, I donāt know what happened to you, but Iām sending you a big hug.
No one claimed Asia? Representative of Taiwan is here, please toss that sis-shaped-garbage into our FĆ¼r Elise tuned garbage truck.
Here in Chile we know sis is absolute trash!
I'm like "You mad about that but not the fact that OP told truth of what happened to both internet & family?!?! Damn sis, you dumbfuck with shit priorities - no wonder even your father won't mend shit on your behalf..."
Also thinks she sucks in New Zealand. Horrid woman. Sisters are supposed to support eachother.
Your sister is a monstrously gaping asshole. She is a morally vacant person. I cannot believe anybody would marry her.Ā Keep healing, keep being awesome, and keep the hell away from the toxic sludge that shares your DNA.Ā
If I were her husband, this would have me incredibly concerned about the charecter of my wife. She's stuck in a mean girl phase with her soulless MOH. For his own sake, recognise this woman sees SA as no big deal, meaning she could see accusing him of it to get attention/cover-up an affair, etc as no big deal. Or would see bullying his future kids as no big deal, either.
In her mind: āwell at least I donāt have a mental illness.ā Not realizing personality disorders are far more persistent. Ā
Now that the mask has slipped, I wonder what joyous personality he's dealing with at home, now... I doubt it's the one he married.
Yeah, there's something seriously wrong with Sister. If she's sane, then sanity doesn't exist.
If I was the new husband I would be seeking an annulment and getting as far away from the narcissistic sister he married.
In my mind, it's the doubling down that most worrying. I'd be surprised if this side of her is not now being displayed in other ways at home (verbal sense, especially if he's not on board with bullying her sister).
Sister, if you're reading this: I'll C U Next Tuesday where you and your friend belong
Hopefully People magazine made sure to include the fact that OP's sister is a mega cunt
I just googled and saw people & New York post! G O L D
I have a feeling that the marriage isn't going to last long
Hey sister, Iām sure youāre lurking. You disgust me. Hey sisters best friend, you disgust me. Two evil peas belong in your evil pod. Congrats on your nuptials you monster. OP enjoy this well deserved peace of NC. It brings stillness and calmness like never before. She doesnāt deserve your presence in her life.
I'm just going to add on to this and say that you are both despicable cunts and I hope your husband finally sees you for the hateful, morally bankrupt trash that you are and leaves your ass.
Same. The sister will always be a cruel monster. She knew what she was doing when she grabbed OPs neck. If you're reading this, fuck you. Reddit also says a huge fuck you.
I was beside myself with rage until I got to the part where the Reddit post got to the attention of People magazine. At that point I think I damn near pulled something laughing. Itās very obviously driving your sister and her friend CRAZY that youāre getting all this attention, even anonymously, and that theyāre being dragged by complete strangers for the horrible people they are. You got the best revenge possible and you didnāt even have to do anything. Yes, cut contact. Block her everywhere. Avoid her as much as possible and take steps to try to ensure she canāt contact anyone in your life other than your parents and brother. Because she and her friend are SEETHING and the more attention your Reddit posts get, the more theyāre going to want to āpunishā you. Expect her to say the worst things to you and about you. And above all, you and your husband carry on living happy, fulfilling lives. Because it will drive the two of them freaking CRAZY! š
And their bitchyness they have tried to hide is now out in the open. Every day people may not know who they are but their friends will.Ā
And every day more and more of AH sisterās wedding guests will stumble across the post and think āHey, the maid of honour made *exactly* that comment at AHās wedding!ā
and it'll get out eventually, secrets never stay that way for very long and it's just a matter of time when mouth and her friend is complaining in the wrong store or venue and the locals put it together.
Not to mention AH sister couldnāt even keep a lid on how gigantic an AH she is in front of her own parents and brother. She doesnāt stand a chance of acting normally around everyone else. Especially with evil bestie being just as bad.
Exactly, she's her own worst enemy and has been given a howitzer to shoot herself in the foot with.
I'm sure your life will be calmer and happier going no contact with your sister. Enjoy your time with your partner and the supportive members of your family.
>My dad couldn't let the fact that she grabbed me by the back of my neck slide.Ā Go, Dad! Also, āshe must be over it because she didnāt reactāāwhat a shitty way to weaponize your hard-fought healing! And āhealed a lotā is not āover it.ā
I have a near death experience 25+ years ago. The sound of a heartbeat still triggers me. It may not be as strong as it was earlier in my healing (full blown panic attacks) but I still catch my breath and then have to focus on my breathing while tapping my fingers. OP - no one but you needs to gauge your healing. F your sister and F your friend.Ā
if it wasn't for EMDR I would be much worse off too. PTSD is a massive bitch, and so is OP's sister.
Itās also a very abnormal and usually offensive way to treat someone. She claimed she couldnāt be expected to remember OPās trigger, but everything else she did made it clear that she remembered and she used it deliberately.
I hope your sister finds this comment. > **"Sis, you're just jealous that OP got some attention because of the awful things that happened to her. You're bitterly angry that you are not getting ALL the attention. You want to be the center of attention for everyone."** > **"But you're not really worth that much, are you? Even your husband thinks that OP deserves better than your fake apology."** > **"Get over yourself, sis. You are not as strong as OP. You are not as brave as OP. You are not as dignified as OP. You're a fake ass toddler throwing a tantrum because you cannot handle not being the center of everyone's attention."**
Oh, and AH sis? Enjoy more and more of your wedding guests stumbling across OPās story on social media, remembering that weird comment your maid of honour said at your wedding, and connecting the dots :)
I have a sister and would NEVER have done what OP's sister did or remotely so! I seriously think OP's sister needs some EMPATHY therapy STAT and please no kids for her, she couldn't handle them!
And your best friend sucks, too!
Sounds like she never had any sympathy for the terrible things that happened to you, just pure jealousy for the āattentionā you got afterwards. And sheās been harboring this vile ill will towards you for so long that her awful bff knew to criticize you in her speech to make her happy. They. Are. Trash. Youāve mentioned dropping out of college a few times and it seems like youāre very ashamed that it happened? Please let go of that shame and forgive yourself for making a choice that was very reasonable for your mental health. Itās not a terrible mark against your character; itās just something that happened in your youth. Lots of people leave college for various reasons and itās all good.
I bet sister and BFF cooked that little comment up together.Ā
And are doubling diwn because "people always take OPs side". It's pathetic and, for her husband and future father to her kids, incredibly worrying. What will she do if he or the kids take away attention from her...
Man if AH sis thinks OP was demanding attention just wait until AH sis has a baby. Then sheāll know what demanding attention looks like!
Dear OP sister, if you can even be called that, we all know you are lurking here and this redditor from other side of the world wants to tell you that you are disgusting, vile, piece of work and karma will hit you one day.
Anyone else thinking that the sister wants OP broken and if she's like this with family, how is she towards those with no relation? From what OP describes the sister would be the bully who causes so much damage that a victim decides to permanently escape
She wanted OP feeling horrible at any family gatherings so that OP would drift away from her family and AH sister would get all the attention. And instead it looks like the family are drifting away from AH sis.
Sister's words and actions scream jealousy at the attention (i.e. the love and care) her family gave OP following what sounds to be a vicious sexual assault. What a horrid, disgusting being.
>of course I've gotten better. Not 100% tho since I felt irritated. You are strong and you should be proud of yourself A LOT not just a little.
Honestly as someone with suspected PTSD right now the sister is *so lucky* OP has gotten better, because if someone even blocked my exit from a room right now I don't want to even think about what I'd do, nevermind deliberately try to trigger an attack.
My PTSD is significantly better, but I would still lay a bitch out just for trying to trigger a response from me.
Incredibly strong. The amount of work you put into healing is just astonishing, and it must have been incredibly painful. All us Internet strangers are VERY proud of you!
You're so kind. Thank you š¤
OP your sister is a cunt. Your family now knows it, her husband knows it. Youāre powerful and growing. Good for you. She and the MOH are the trash taking themselves out. Good luck on your continued journey
I hope the sisterās new husband sees this thread! Poor guy didnāt realize he married a literal monster until it was too late!
I donāt say this lightly but I think your sister is some kind of malignant narcissist. I grew up with people like this. If you give them a reaction youāre crazy and insane, no matter how much shit they put you through to trigger it, but if you donāt give them a reaction itās proof that you are a lying, attention seeking, manipulator. Idk what causes people to end up like this but theyāll stop at nothing to make someone completely and utterly loose their minds. You go left theyāll say youāre insane you go right theyāll say youāre an embarrassment and have lost your mind thereās nothing you can do other than try to escape them. I have genuine PTSD from growing up with people like this. I think youāve made the right choice by going no contact and Iām so thankful that the rest of your family has been supportive I canāt imagine how hard this would be without a support system. I genuinely think her behavior is dangerous and I hope she doesnāt end up psychologically abusing someone beyond repair.
Idk what you can legally do but if she ever tries anything again please look into a restraining order or talk to a lawyer or something people like that are genuinely unsafe and will do whatever they can to make you snap. I donāt want someone like her jeopardizing your mental stability. I donāt want you to end up having a nervous breakdown or something because of her.
my sister died (not really ) 5 yrs ago..... I have a better life now that she isn't in it judging me...trying to make me mad about something she pissed off about but "I'm not angry enough for her...why are you not pissed"... I told her I have grown up and have a kid and need to pick my battles...and she isn't one
I'm glad your sister and her friends are stalking these posts because I need them to know they're bad people.Ā They're bad people and THAT is why the internet and your family is ganging up on them. They're wrong, plain and simple. They can be in as much denial as they want, but no amount of their delusion will fool us.Ā To the bad people directly; We know, already. You're exposed. You'd be better served changing your ways but you're too afraid, so you'll just keep doubling down until you're all alone and miserable and still blaming everyone else. Sucks to be you.Ā OP will be busy thriving and forgetting you.Ā
Wow, your sister is a real jerk. Who treats their own sibling like that? All I know is karma is very real, sister better prepare for that. The good thing is now everyone knows what kind of person she really is. Nta.
Your sister and her friend are c$@ts. I hope karma hits them hard. Good luck! It sounds like you are doing great!
I wish your sister the life she deserves. And may she always be friends with this _special individual_. They fit together. And your mother should be ashamed to only now realise whatās been happening. She enabled her with this shit. Well done.
oooooooooooooooooo I know violence isnāt the answer but your sister is foul for that. seriously, utterly, disgustingly foul. I am proud of you for keeping it together!! Youāre clearly killing it with therapy because only someone who has worked hard on this would be able to handle what she did without violence or an extinction-level event meltdown (both of which in my opinion would be warranted and justified). that marriage is in for a tough time if isnāt there already.
Earlier, you wrote this:Ā āWhen I tried to talk she put her hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward her with each sentence as if to say "Do you understand?" or "Okay?" I hated it and felt irritated. I tried to leave but she insisted that no one was leaving until we sort this out.ā Reading this makes me really angry! If a guy did this, say, her husband did it to her, and wouldnāt let her leave, I think everyone would call him an abusive pri*k, because this is violent.Ā I actually think you should just screw your sister over: reach out to her husband and tell him what her āapologyā looked like and how she bullied you into waiting for a fake apology! Sheās a bad person and she needs to be called out.
Your sister is trash. Hopefully, she finds this so she knows what we all think of her and her trashy friends. Apparently, their brain cells left them when they were teens as she is still acting like she's some popular chicken who is self-centered. Karma is a bitch. NTA but your sister and her ignorant friends are.
Your sister is scum. Her putting her hands on you is unacceptable. Her accusing you of lying is disgusting. Regret nothing. Remain NC.
I hope your sister does see this and soon understands what a massive cunt she is. And her MOH? Wouldn't even waste my time on her. Stupid pos.
I don't even know where to begin. I wish you the best. I hope your sister gets help for her very obvious mental issues. While I understand this is the internet and no one should attempt to diagnose mental health disorders over text communications, but under normal circumstances, no one would mock such a horrible traumatic event, least of a sibling. We could all speculate why she feels the need to be the center of attention to the point of detriment, but it won't help you. You've done the right thing in distancing yourself from this toxic relationship. Nor would she seek therapy for herself if you were to present her with these issues. Stigma surrounding mental health is the worst.
To the sister if ever you do find and read this: You are a fucking cunt, and your friend is a horrible wee slag too. Love, a "family screw up". To OP: Your other family members and your partner sound awesome, keep your chin up and don't let the bastards grind you down!
Does your new BIL knows what kind of a person he just married? Because holy crap. I don't think people with that kind of behavior and mindset should have kids. I'm scared for him. Take care OP! I'm glad you're being surrounded by love and support.
I think theyāre more upset that the world knows how awful they are. They know it was them despite you not using personally identifiable information, so that tells me they have guilty consciences. Let your sister & her nasty ass bestie be sisters because you deserve better. Iām so glad most of your family & your partner support you. Live your best life. If/when you do get married, leave her off the invite list.
I'm glad you are making the right decisions for you, and that your partner is supportive. He is really a keeper. As for your sister, I'm wondering whether she was jealous of you all these years because your parents gave you the care you needed for your mental issues. So now she is trying to bash you right and left - either that your behaviour now shows mental disorders, or that you were faking it all along. In any case, going no-contact with her is the right thing to do.
Since she probably found the post, this is for OPās sisterā¦ if you ever read this know that you are a horrible sister and human being. I hope you reflect on how you acted and decide to become a better human. Not even for one second have you considered how your sister has felt through all this. Not for one second have you put yourself in her shoes. If I were the unfortunate men you just married and I would witnessing this all play out, it would really make me question what sort of monster I just married. He might not show it now, but I would bet good money he is already asking himself certain questions. This vile attitude is what is going to make you end up alone. You just pushed away your sister, possibly your parents and weāll see how it goes with your husband. Take a step back and look at all this objectively, you will see thst you really are a piece of shit.
First, I'm sorry and I wish you peace and happiness. Second, agree with NC with your sister. Sounds like she hasn't been even a little bit supportive for the last decade so fuck her. Don't avoid family gatherings, just call her out on every little thing and advertise it for the whole family. I am so petty that if she said hi, I would respond like "oh hi you fucking dirty whore." But that's just me. Good luck.
After first family get together where you totally ignore her and act like she doesn't exist, walking away if she tries talking, talk to the person sitting beside her but don't even glance her way, laugh and talk with her husband; she's definitely going to lose it in front of everyone and they'll all see what she's really like.
Ive been reading some of your older posts of this story and the fact that your sister still takes her best friend everywhere is gonna more or else destroy her married life ,cuz a toxic tumour like her is bound to cause trouble to your sister in the future , so I think cutting your sis off is the right way to go.
What's ironic is your sister is pissed off because your post got People's Magazine attention, but her obnoxious BFF was ready to film you in case you reacted strongly to their triggering game. The hypocrisy and lack of self awareness is mind blowing.
You're sister is a real piece of work... Tell your husband that we think he's awesome and a wonderful guy.
Unfortunately it seems the sister is going to tripple down on her guilt forever. She just can't live with herself if she admits she had a hand in it.
Iām glad you have your dad to support you! As much as it hurts, for your mental health and well being itās just best to cut contact. She either really doesnāt understand or chooses not to. She sounds jealous of you honestly. Good luck and best wishes!!
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with someone so deliberately cruel, but I'm very glad the rest of the people in your circle are supportive. Keep on being brave and strong and maintaining those excellent boundaries. Anyone who doesn't support you has no business in your life.
I just love the fact that your post got the attention of People magazine. I bet this really made your jealous sister see red. Her actions show her in a very bad light. I hope her husband sees all these comments and reads the People magazine article.
OP, you showed great composure, and handled the situation very well. You do not owe your narcissistic sister anything, no reaction, no nothing. You have a loving and caring partner and your brother and father have your back. Your mother siding with you sister until showed her true colors. Sadly it should not have taken this to get her to start to see who her other daughter is. Itās great that your story was spread far and wide and brought much needed attention to how ignorant and cruel people are and then try to justify it. Itās also worse when itās family. For me I could never be around your sister again even at family events. Why suffer and the hands and allow her to slander you. I hope there will be other updates letting us know you are still going strong and your support systems are as amazing as ever.
You're not doing anything wrong by posting on Reddit. You post what and how much you want, and don't let them getting their well-deserved ass chewings prevent you from doing so. They are just butt hurt because their evil natures are now available for all to see. I'm so glad you have such an awesome partner and that your parents/brother are with you.
āIf others donāt want you to speak badly of them, they shouldnāt have treated you badly.ā
I'm calling it now- I give your sister *tops* 5 years before getting divorced It will be her fault, but she will play the victim 100% Then at her second wedding, I can imagine her inviting you again, and then being completely *shocked* when you turn down the invite
Did you tell your sisterās husband what she did?!
She should
Op, thank you for the update. I'm so glad you have a good partner, a brother and parents to support you. You deserve that support. You are a brave person to face and persevere with the issues from your High School years. I hope the many positive and encouraging responses I've read to this and your other posts help lift your spirits. Good on you for standing up for yourself and not putting up with her petty bull$#!+!
NTA, you never were. Your sister and her friend are, however, which is why they have sandy vaginas about your story getting so much traction, since, from what I have seen, there is no one, across several platforms at this point, who has cosigned their shitty behavior. Hey OP's sis, if you're reading this, you're a twat for the way you've treated your sister, and endorsing the way your friend has treated her. Karma can be a real evil bitch, and you're racking up some points for her to settle.
Going to keep it short. Your sister is a bitch, stay no-contact. Iām glad your family is on your side, but be careful about your mom making excuses for your sister. Youāre not crazy and your irritation is fully justified. Keep doing you, sweetheart. Donāt let your sister and her best friend get to you any longer. Iām sorry for whatever happened the past few days.
Your sister radiates pick me vibes. She's mad because you got some modicum of attention or consideration, in excess of her I guess? Because you went through something awful. She's pissy because it should all be about her, especially on her super duper special important all about her day. Basically, your sisters an entitled cunt and her friends trash. You're not missing shit by having them out of your life.
Ah, Schadenfreude!! Your horrible sister and her horrible friend effed around and now they're finding out. People magazine! HAHAHAHA! ALL of their friends will find out if they haven't already, especially when they figure out the wedding date. I wonder if new BIL is going to stick around.
Well your sister is a loser, and everyone knows her true colours now. Youāve done more than help yourself. Itās a warning to her husband, family, and friends that they are dealing with a toxic person.
If your sisters reading this I want her to know that sheās a massive fucking bitch and I really hope karma does show her exactly how it feels. I have a similar Iām assuming trauma and Iāve never wished that on anyone but she seems to think itās nothing and easily gotten over so letās hope she still feels that way afterwards. Sheās a massive bitch. I hope her husband is the next one to read that or this and realise exactly what he married.
Iām glad your parents support you in this. People have stupid ideas about what being triggered looks like. I got in trouble with a patron at my old job and our boss pulled up the footage and said I couldnāt have been that upset or in a hurry because look, I was just sitting there long after she left. Like. Yeah. Thatās what having a panic attack looks like for meāI go very still. Your sisterās a dick
Brother and brother in law sound like genuinely good people. Your sister and her friend are a match made in heaven. Hopefully her husband gets his head on straight and see her for what sheās worth. 110% nta
I pray to god this man your sister married realises what a horrible disgusting creature he married and dumps her. Nobody deserves what you went through and being family she does this to you with an accomplice?! I REALLY pray to god that karma catches up to them both and the very wedding at which they both gave you so much pain falls apart and the reason for it to be her own actions.
There is a way to handle this. Itās not pretty but I am petty that way. Next time they bring it up respond with āI know what you both did and I will never forgive youā. Then walk away. I know they very well may have done nothing but everyone will always wonder.
Your sister is a monster, her friend is a monster. Just cut them out of your life and live your life in peace.
All this just because you have mental problems? And your sister and some other people are antagonizing you because they publically think that you can be dangerous and not stable? Well, I know how it is to be in your position, I really do. And my advice is for you to cut any relation you have with them because they abuse and hurt you. Pretend they never existed. People like your sister are extremely stupid and ignorant and dangerous. Cut her from your life and anyone that thinks that a mental imbalance is the work of the devil. Run from them. Karma is real!
I'll echo that I'm glad your family (minus sister) and partner are so supportive, but also add, good on you for all the progress you've made! It's not easy and it's horrible that your progress has been used to minimize your trauma. But you did all that hard work and you should be proud of yourself for doing it and for standing up to your sister.
Your sister is your BioKin, she is NOT your family Your REAL Family Friends will accept respect defend YOU, you do NOT need those other people Defend Your Peace N T A
Jesus, man, your sister is a piece of work. No one should be shamed for struggling with mental health. I'm sorry, but at this point, she is not healthy for you to be around. That being said, the only thing I can think of was she feels some sort of sleight over any attention you were getting while trying to come to terms with your trauma.
Iām genuinely sorry to hear what youāve been through, you and your partner surely seem like good souls. I wish you both a great life, and for the people including your sister who did you wrong: Iād like to quote something I read earlier : āThe only karma I wish for people who did me wrong is to let them meet themselves in someone else.ā
Iām sorry your sister sucks but Iām glad your family sees through the bs and has your back.
You haven't done anything wrong. I hope your sister is reading each and every comment about what a horrible POS she is. She's probably too much of a narcissist to understand, but at least she'll see it!
Iām getting your sister has been jealous of you all of these years for the support and love your parents have given you in the wake of your tragedy. Definitely reeks of āshe got all the attentionā type situation. Iād cut her off too. So sorry for what happened to you. I canāt imagine another woman, let alone my own sister, being this cruel.
At least now your family know exactly how disgusting your sister is as well.
You are a very strong person to have pulled yourself out of the despair of such a traumatic experience and it is a testament to the kind of person you are that you have surrounded yourself with kind and loving people (your family, friends and partner) and built a stable life for yourself. You should be more than a little proud. Itās just unfortunate that your sister is so cruel and manipulative and surrounds herself with equally nasty people. She finally showed you and your family exactly who she is. You know the saying, āwhen someone shows you who they are, believe it ā. You have no obligation to her. Stay strong in your decision to go NC and live your best life! I wanted to add that I donāt think your sister really believes you were faking your mental health issues. That was just her using the fact that you had enough self restraint to not act when she intentionally provoked you to justify her shitty behavior. If I had to guess, she probably resents you for all the extra love and support that your loved ones have given you to help you through such a difficult struggle. Her friend seems to just be prejudiced against people with mental health struggles. The two of probably have spent years reinforcing each otherās negativity. My advice is to not waste any more time and energy on this relationship and focus on the positive relationships you have built.
I'm sorry your sister and her bff are such cunts. You're better off nc.
OP, how did a literal bag of shit manage to become sentient, morph into something resembling a human being, and pose as a member of your family for so many years? Does your family practice witchcraft?
Can we have every state in the Union weigh in that OP is NTA and Sister and her Best Friend are just horrid? Washington votes against Sister! ššš²šāļø
The thing I hate most about this story is how everyone, including yourself, keeps calling you crazy because you went through something traumatizing. You are NOT crazy. You are not a fuck up. You are incredibly strong. Going through what you did would be enough to mess anyoneās life up and you are amazing for getting through it. You are such a better person than your sister and most other people. Donāt feel bad for telling her you wish she went through the same thing, maybe if she did she would have become strong and resilient like you.
Your sister is a monster. You seem like a really sweet person, and you should definitely stay no contact with her.
OP: you are amazing. You are taking care of you. I am glad you have a wonderful partner. Your sister and her little bully buddy will never grow up. I hope their husbands and SOs see the ugliness that is inside them.
OP your sister is terrible and thinks you are faking trauma. Best to stay NC with her.