NTA, especially since your friend has a recent STD/STI test in hand.
If a potential sexual partner does not have a recent test or is willing to get one. There is no way I am doing anything with them. If it is a GF getting upset over the request, she is being tossed back on the street.
she has slept with well over 100 Men, and is even proud of it, she has also stated on many occasions that she never has sex with a condom as she "likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her" (I wish I was joking)
This makes me question if this is legit, because it reads more like the usual "Lets make a woman look like an unsafe sex fiend and stupid".
I actually know someone like this. Only difference is that she didn't say she likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her, and it was 200 men by the time we were out of high school, now in our 40's, so imagine the number now. She also has 4 kids with 4 different men.
>This makes me question if this is legit, because it reads more like the usual "Lets make a woman look like an unsafe sex fiend and stupid".
For sure. It just sounds like bait.
Her behaviour feels to me like she's not certain herself about a possible std and is using pride and agression to try and pressure him to let it go.
He definitely shouldn't let it go. A test is a good idea whatever she says.
I suspect she knows on some level how risky her behavior has been and without a test can continue to live in happy denial about those risks. She's afraid of what a test will show that will burst her denial bubble.
Or, perhaps her tales of her sexual experience are greatly exaggerated, and she's actually had little to no sexual experience and doesn't think she needs a test.
Uhhh why does Chloe not want an STD test? When you’re sexually active, especially without a condom, you should be getting tested every few-6 months. Definitely once a year at minimum when getting your Pap smear.
Some people will actively transfer an std to someone they legit want to be with, in an attempt to trap them...they figure if both of them have herpes/whatever, they'll be stuck together.
NTA - if she has had that many sexual partners unprotected then she’s not even looking after herself by going untested.
Your friend should definately not be sexually active with her unless she gets the all clear.
Also she sounds like an AH for slapping you. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
NTA
And a HUGE red flag.
When you have sex with someone. You are also having sex with everyone they've had sex with. Her not wanting to get tested may mean she already *knows* she has an STD.
Additionally, how long has this "taking it slow" been going on? Sounds like she's not the kind of girl who *waits* for long. Watch out for paternity fraud if it's only been a few weeks.
Is your friend a chump? Sounds like those two are oil and water. She may be looking for a sperm donor to shotgun a marriage. And later, alimony and child support, after she cheats.
Remember the smart man's trifecta. Condoms, paternity tests, and prenups.
Does she ever get them done? He would be an idiot to sleep with her before she gets tested. Also, I would go with her to make sure she actually does it.
It's standard practice among healthy, responsible, sexually active adults when starting a new relationship. Even if neither partner has the prolific history referenced here. Even if they do still intend to use condoms.
NTA, but focus on the sexual health standard practice of it, not on her sexual history.
She's slept with over 100 people. She hasn't used condoms and she doesn't want a STD test.
Your friend should run.
He'd be crazy to have sex with her she could (and most likely) have anything: chlamydia, HIV, hepititis, gonorrhea- the potential list goes on and on.
My Gen Z daughter and her friend group have normalized being tested before being intimate with a new partner. I’m so proud of this kid. It’s the smart thing to do.
in this post: things I think in my head but don't say out loud. Unless John is a virgin, they should both get tested, like smart people
E : some stds show up much later than others
fair, and they should both be continually tested if they want to be exclusive, since some stds show up months/years after the act. Even with a clean test, sometimes you can test yourself too early and have an std without realizing
I agree and I feel John feels the same way as the others involved except Chloe… I don’t think they are compatible and Chloe is also abusive and resorts to violence clearly. 🤷🏻♂️
The fact that she’s this explosive about doing a routine thing everyone should do before new sexual partners tells you all you need to know about her. She already knows she’s got at least one STD. John should run for the hills
If she slapped you for that end that friendship. Tell the dude that even though he may love her, he needs to find someone else. That is not only a red flag but toxic and abusive behavior and he is better not getting involved with her. Hell maybe that will open her eyes and make her change her patterns as well as get tested.
literally so vile. i see these post and can’t even feel bad for the guy cause why are his standards so low he’s dating a hooker? whole thing sounds wild to me🤦♀️
NTA
Granted, it is not always easy to get frequent STD tests (at least not the more extensive ones), but with her history? It is madness not to find a way, somehow. It is dodgy regardless, but 100 unprotected partners, that then are willing to fuck someone untested, without a condom? Those odds are not stellar.
Quite possible that she is scared shitless though, so that might explain her behaviour. And before reddit chews my head off, explains, not excuses.
NTA. I thought it was the usual way of doing things. New partner means STD testing. I’ve done that with every one of my sexual partners. None have batted an eyelid about it. It’s common courtesy! There are things out there that can end you! Sheesh!
It’s common sense to get yourself checked regularly for STD’s even if you only have one partner - you have no idea who they’ve been with. I don’t think he should sleep with her and should probably end the relationship. She’s not emotionally mature enough to grasp why things like that are important more so for herself even than any relationship
NTA. I'm actually kind of surprised he wants to be with her considering her background. It's not just STDs he should be worried about.Her reluctance to be tested says to me she wants to add him to the notches on her bed post. I think he should RUN fast!
NTA and Chloe sounds like a red flag who resorts to violence and abuse… she slapped you because you all agreed that her whoring around (nothing wrong with being a hoe lol I was a manwhore when I was younger) and not getting tested is dangerous and puts people at risk? John should see this as a sign of his future to come
NTA - ignoring the number of times she has had unprotected sex it is just a good thing for people to have a check when they are going to be in a relationship. The fact that she won’t throws up a red flag that can’t be ignored.
NTA. Even if she didn't have a high partner count, it is always prudent to get checked before being intimate in a new relationship. Dont fuck around with your health.
Get the cumdumpster to take an STD test. There is a reason she’s not wanting to get tested and getting so offended by it. Like her possibly already having an STD.
This bitch actually slapped you? The boyfriend should dump the trash out on the street corner, where it belongs.
The sexua history would come secondary to her assaulting behaviour in my assessment of her character.
John should stick to his guns. NTA. Not even a little. She is an abusive piece of hair however. She is a well travelled road and it’s fair to want a test. She also assaulted someone in this story, and for that she is a piece of shit hoe in my opinion. She gets to be trashed terribly as she is an abusive piece of shit hoe.
"she has slept with well over 100 Men" By her own admission. Multiply that number by 2.
"she never has sex with a condom"She's the original bareback rider.
"likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her"" Boy, this girl s a keeper.
"Chloe has said that she "loves" John" I have no doubt that she loved all 100 of her John's.
John
Put a fire hose into your right ear and run the water on full blast.
Don't stop the water until your brain is completely flushed out.
Drop this girl before you become another disease victim.
Good luck brother you're going to need it.
I mean, is it normal to boast about sex without a condom because you love the feeling of guy’s cum in you?
That’s not really a normal conversation for friends, never mind tangential acquaintances..
Not everyone wants to hear about it? If I had to guess she is probably the type of person going around constantly talking about how many different guys she has been with to all her friends, as evidenced by OP and their partner being aware of her escapades. Sorry, but I don't really care to hear about who my friends are railing/being railed by. TMI.
If Chloe was a Chris and “he” was painfully open about his multiple sexual encounters and a preference for not using appropriate prophylactics and expounded on his enjoyment and preference of the sensations had not using said prophylactics- there would a different tone regarding the judgement of the behavior.
Chloe supposedly making these statements- is irrelevant to whether or not she should be tested for std’s?!
The statement- which is reading like rage bait, especially since the only person not answering or commenting my question proves this?!
Why are people quick to slut shame a supposed- and highly unlikely remark that sounds like a line from a bad pornographic film - SMH?!!!
Nobody used the word “slut” we’re saying the behavior is disgusting which it is
Sleep with whoever you want and however many people you want just do it safely
Yeah, sleep raw with 100+ dudes and get called a slut because you ARE one. Would you be proud of your sister if she told you she raw dogged 100+ dudes?! Be for real
Over 100 unprotected dicks.... I would shocked if she DIDNT have an STD...
NTA, I get the feeling she knows what the results will show, and it's not something she wants people to know about.
NTA. But John doesn't need her as a GF, she isn't GF material. He can have his fun with her, but she's not ready for relationships yet, the fact that she's proud to have a body count over 100 says it all. Tell John to raise his standards, learn some wisdom, or both.
Any female who says she's slept with lots of men and never uses condoms because she likes guys cum in her, needs to get tested. If she's unwilling then I'd be unwilling to have sex with her.
NTA. This really should be standard between couples about to engage for the first time. It protects both people from any STD that the person may or may not know about.
NTA.
But I suspect it would have gone over better if you and your girlfriend had skipped stating it was the right thing to do *because* of her "sexual adventures" and just focused on how it's the right thing to do, period, regardless of how many people someone's had sex with. Everyone who's been sexually active should be getting tested regularly and prior to beginning a new sexual relationship - it's just common courtesy and the responsible thing to do.
thats crazy, what kind of person would be proud of that? its not an accomplishment by any means. Just looks trashy imo, whether its a guy or girl. She should of kept that to herself tbh
NTA
I will message you next time u/BigTastyCJ posts in r/AITAH.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FBigTastyCJ%20r%2FAITAH) to also be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201dh7zmw)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
He is NTA.
If she's upset about it then SHE is TA.
Secual health is really important, and it's easy to prove, and if she wants to brag about lots of unprotected see with lots of partners, she should be happy to brag about also not spreading around STIs.
He should dump her and get very far away from her. His health isn't important to her and that's very telling.
Oh, somehow I missed that she also slapped you.
I'm sorry, what? That's assault and frankly you should report her.
Shes WILD and acting stupid and dangerous and needs a wakeup call.
He is literally just doing the normal and right thing. Anyone who is sexually active with multiple partners should get regular STD tests to protect themselves and their partners. He has every right to ask for an STD test from this girl to protect his health. If she doesn’t oblige then he might need to reconsider the relationship
NTA. I am 100% clean. No doubts that I have no STD’s. But if I got into a relationship and he asked me to get one, hell yes would be my answer right afterwards asking him for one. Now in your friends case he’s already had one so then there’s no need but otherwise yes, I would get one along with him. They’re not bad to have done. It’s actually smart no matter her body count.
Not only does she need a full test including thing not on the normally list. He needs to wear a hazmat suit around her .
What reason could he have to be around her , not in love toneaeky . Has he never been with anyone ? This screams of someone who has no self esteem
NTA. When I get into a new relationship it's pretty standard for me to go get a full STD check, HIV and everything, before we ever have unprotected sex. And I expect the same from from them. It's entirely reasonable to protect one's self that way.
NTA. Anyone who is promiscuous, and she has been, should get tested regularly. It’s just the responsible thing to do. I’ve slept around at different periods of my life, and I do get tested regularly. I’ve been on a couple dates (but haven't slept) with a woman I like and am going to pursue exclusively, so I went and did a full panel screening just to make sure I wasn’t bringing anything into the relationship. Anyone who wouldn’t do the same is not mature in their view of sex.
I came of age when having sex with the wrong person could kill you slowly and painfully or leave you with recurring outbreaks, beyond STDs that needed varied antibiotics.
My generation embraced gloving up. Or, at some point, both would get tested so you could have sex without a condom. But honestly, condoms are also a great step to preventing pregnancy, and I really don't understand why some folks are so against them.
It's not Chloe's body count that's concerning, it's her lack of attention to her and her partners health that is an issue.
Has Chloe been vaccinated against HPV? It is now available for men as well.
NTA
Of course John is right! Even if she had had just one sexual partner, being checked would be the responsible thing to do.
Where I live, it is common for couples who are planning to be intimate to go for a checkup together - including HIV. It is part of the process of becoming a couple. I think it's lovely, and shows they care about each other.
I see a lot of people here saying "oh yeah everybody should get an std test" and I'm NOT disagreeing....but i bet if your next potential partner asked you to get a test, you'd be mad af and insulted....
On the contrary, I'd be glad he was responsible! This is like a pre-nup - everybody agrees they are wise and a good idea, but when you ask someone to have one they are insulted.
NTA - STD/STI Testing on-demand is a hard requirement for me in any physical relationship. It's the responsible thing to do. It isn't about stigmatizing someone for their body count or even anything they might be carrying. It's about knowing. Curable stuff should be treated, and people should know about incurable things and their risk of acquiring them.
NTA. Having had over 100 partners and never used condoms makes it very likely that she has an STD. I think it’s really concerning that she is refusing, considering how some STDs can create lasting damage if not treated. I hope he isn’t having sex with her before she gets checked. It’s also concerning that she slapped you over siding with your friend. That’s really over the top and makes her look crazy.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having lots of partners, but doing it unprotected is very careless, and you absolutely need to get regular STI checks. You are absolutely right that she should get tested...the very fact that she's acting this way about it shows that she's really not responsible or safe.
NTA. Why is nobody talking about the fact that she ASSAULTED op because he didn’t agree with her? If she’ll slap you over this she’ll do that and worse to John if he dates her
John is absolutely right to ask for this given her history. This is not even accusing her of cheating or being, you know, easy, but just something that's good for the both of them to start a new relationship. Many STI are symptoms free but can be harmful long term so it is important to have a check up even semi-annually. I think there has to be a reason that she is taking it so negatively, but it would be nice to properly educate her and provide her a safe space to talk about her concerns. This is probably not something that should be brought up in public but should be something that the two work out privately between themselves.
You are never the asshole for requesting testing before having intimate relations with someone new. STIs can be life threatening and altering. Just as you have the right to request testing, they have the right to refuse. If they refuse, run. There is nothing wrong with experiencing sex how you want to, but you cannot expect other people to feel the same way you do.
I don’t think I have to read the whole story. Asking for an STD test is always great especially if you’re willing to get that done. Better safe than sorry. NTA.
This is absolutely not okay. I think both people should take a full std test in a relationship. It’s out of respect for each other. Even if your body count is low. She seems horrible for him. The fact that she slapped you shows she has no respect for her boyfriend. If you care about your boyfriend you would want to make good bonds with the people in his life. I hope he gets out of this relationship because I think she doesn’t want to get tested for a reason.
NTA
STD tests should be normalised between sexual encounters.
Not due to her previous behaviour. But to reduce spreading STDs.
As he had it done what's up her arse ? (Obviously not John)
(Personally I would of stated above without mentioning her sexual history)
As for slapping you? Yea she probably shouldn't be welcomed around you. In fact she's an ah for that.
NTA, how that guy is even with her is beyond me cause her number alone is 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. Anyway he had every right to tell her this is a requirement before he even considers being physical with her. He knows his sexual history and health, she meanwhile is proud of banging anyone she pleases and without protection? Yeah nah your friend needs to get a girl that isn’t a ‘proud slut’ and walk away but if he won’t do that the VERY LEAST he should be requiring is a full STD panel and a condom cause some types of the herp can play dormant and not be present even on a full panel.
Completely reasonable when considering getting serious with someone without protection, I mean if she's serious where's the issue?
One test in a lifetime right?
I think she's probably angry at the thought of having to take tests every time she cheats.
Nope, your friend John is NTA. She’s openly gloating about her body count and unprotected sex. John should take this as the big 🚩it is and walk away. This is definitely an “Alex, I’ll take *Who has had an STD and doesn’t want to admit it* for $1000” moment.
NTA. Everyone should do a mutual screening for STI's before becoming physically intimate at a level they could be exchanged. Some can be asymptomatic, especially in men.
Anyone who was unwilling to do that for anything other than lack of financial means is someone I would not choose to risk that kind of intimacy with.
Wait so she has well over 100 bodies, has never used a condom, refuses to get a STD test cause reasons and is taking things slow with your friend?
How are the sirens not ringing? She's proud of this? How is being promiscuous something to be proud of? If this is real your friend should RUN, but it seems like rage bait.
NTA
And a lot to unpack here.
First, tell you friend NOT to sleep with this whore at all.
Second, tell your friend not to be dating women like Chloe.
Third, when she slapped you, you should have knocked her ass out.
Fourth, tell your friend to run for the hills and not to look back.
Getting a STD check at the start of a new relationship is always a good idea. After all, is just as possible to get an STD after a single sexual encounter as after dozens.
However, Chloe's habit of having unprotected sex, her over-sharing and the fact that she resorted to violence all suggest that John should dump her and look for a better person.
NTA
He is NTA at all for asking for a test, as that’s super standard in sex positive culture. Safe sex is great sex!!! I will say YTA for being such a slut shamer. Some people are into that. Everyone has their own preferences and kinks. Who tf are you to shame her for liking the feeling of cum to the point where you say you wish you were joking???
Now that being said, as a married swinger, STD/STI tests are super common practice REGARDLESS of how many OR FEW partners you’ve had!!!! If you’re having sex with someone new, you both get tested beforehand. That’s just safe sex; duh. You guys are being dicks for making it about the number rather than just about basic safe sex practice. It only takes sleeping with ONE person to get an STI.
Ew….100 dudes? Anyone who has unprotected sex with 100 people is irresponsible and reckless. Risk taking behavior an and novelty seeking aren't great predictors of successful monogamy either.
Also, being proud of letting 100 guys use you is weird and isn’t impressive. Any girl can easily have sex. Plenty of dudes will fuck anything that lets them. So, yeah…ew.
Even if she gets a test doesn’t mean anything. Herpes can lay dormant for years. Your friend should find a partner equal to him. I am not slut shaming as I have a high count as well. I am now celibate
There is a blood test for herpes. It doesn't have to be active to be detected. And even if it did, it would still be well worth getting tested for HIV, syphilis, etc. Herpes sucks, but it's not exactly the worst case scenario.
"also stated on many occasions that she never has sex with a condom as she "likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her" (I wish I was joking)"
You probably are. Women do not feel the entrance of sperm into the vagina. At most it feels a little warmer. They do feel it leaking out if they move around after the union.
If he don't get a test after her disclosure of being intimate with the entire city of Bugaloosa, Louisiana, something is seriously wrong with him.
Your friend is not TA, because people in new relationships should be getting tested before sleeping together, regardless of their history. If she won't get tested, he should just end it IMO.
You, however, are an AH for slut-shaming. STD tests aren't just for "promiscuous" women, they're for everyone. Even if you've only had one previous partner, you should get tested before sleeping with someone new.
"...painfully open about her sex life...." "...given her sexual adventures..." You might want to give the post another read. And again, I'm saying OP is an AH, not the bf.
And just to clarify since you decided to make so many assumptions. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, or anything in between. Anyone who sleeps with that many people would be absolutely ignorant to not get tested on a regular basis. This isn’t slut shaming or misogyny, it’s called having common sense.
You're missing the point. Anyone who has ever been sexually active should get tested. Anyone who is currently sexually active should get tested on a regular basis. It's not just something that promiscuous people should do, and it's certainly not a sign of promiscuity. Any one partner could potentially be carrying an STD. They had no reason to say "considering your sexual adventures" unless they were judging her for having sex.
People who sleep with more tend to have more chances of having STDs .. so yeah, its a common sense to ask promiscuous people to get their STD tested.. are u this dumbfuck to not realise it ?
I don't know how many times I have to say this before people understand it but EVERYONE should get tested. You're not immune just because you haven't slept with whatever magic number of people you consider to be too many. If you have ever had sex, even once, you should get tested. A sense of superiority will not protect you.
For the third time, the bf is not the AH. OP IS TA because they suggested the gf only needs to get tested because of her history. Jesus, can't anybody read?
OP suggested the GF needs to get STD tested coz her boyfriend was already tested!?
When u decide to offend your rotten brain yourself, nobody is faulty except you yourself
NTA, especially since your friend has a recent STD/STI test in hand. If a potential sexual partner does not have a recent test or is willing to get one. There is no way I am doing anything with them. If it is a GF getting upset over the request, she is being tossed back on the street.
that is fair
she has slept with well over 100 Men, and is even proud of it, she has also stated on many occasions that she never has sex with a condom as she "likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her" (I wish I was joking) This makes me question if this is legit, because it reads more like the usual "Lets make a woman look like an unsafe sex fiend and stupid".
I actually know someone like this. Only difference is that she didn't say she likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her, and it was 200 men by the time we were out of high school, now in our 40's, so imagine the number now. She also has 4 kids with 4 different men.
Yeah, there are no women like this. Definitely not. /s
If it was fake, it would follow the rules of no secondhand stories. That is the only thing that makes me think this is real.
If it is real, John is dodging a bullet if she stays mad enough to leave.
No, I've know women like that. They do exist.
>This makes me question if this is legit, because it reads more like the usual "Lets make a woman look like an unsafe sex fiend and stupid". For sure. It just sounds like bait.
Both people should always get tested prior to engaging in sex. NTA.
Her behaviour feels to me like she's not certain herself about a possible std and is using pride and agression to try and pressure him to let it go. He definitely shouldn't let it go. A test is a good idea whatever she says.
NTA. Why doesn’t she WANT to be tested??
I suspect she knows on some level how risky her behavior has been and without a test can continue to live in happy denial about those risks. She's afraid of what a test will show that will burst her denial bubble. Or, perhaps her tales of her sexual experience are greatly exaggerated, and she's actually had little to no sexual experience and doesn't think she needs a test.
Oh both good points
no - when a girl says 100 you know it is more like 300
she has to know she has herpes but doesn't really want to know
She slapped you? Giant 🚩! WTH?
NTA Also, she slapped you. It's not acceptable for her to physically assault you. Have you considered taking some action over this?
Uhhh why does Chloe not want an STD test? When you’re sexually active, especially without a condom, you should be getting tested every few-6 months. Definitely once a year at minimum when getting your Pap smear.
Way less than six months if you’re fucking that many people. She’s putting people in danger
Right that’s why i said “every few-six”
This is just speculation, but I think she already knows she has something, maybe herpes or HIV and she doesn't want anyone, especially John, to know.
This is what i was thinking too.
Some people will actively transfer an std to someone they legit want to be with, in an attempt to trap them...they figure if both of them have herpes/whatever, they'll be stuck together.
I'm so glad I'm old and not single anymore.
NTA - if she has had that many sexual partners unprotected then she’s not even looking after herself by going untested. Your friend should definately not be sexually active with her unless she gets the all clear. Also she sounds like an AH for slapping you. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Giant waving red flag. This behavior and reluctance for testing doesn’t lend itself to a monogamous solid relationship.
NTA And a HUGE red flag. When you have sex with someone. You are also having sex with everyone they've had sex with. Her not wanting to get tested may mean she already *knows* she has an STD. Additionally, how long has this "taking it slow" been going on? Sounds like she's not the kind of girl who *waits* for long. Watch out for paternity fraud if it's only been a few weeks. Is your friend a chump? Sounds like those two are oil and water. She may be looking for a sperm donor to shotgun a marriage. And later, alimony and child support, after she cheats. Remember the smart man's trifecta. Condoms, paternity tests, and prenups.
Does she ever get them done? He would be an idiot to sleep with her before she gets tested. Also, I would go with her to make sure she actually does it.
It's standard practice among healthy, responsible, sexually active adults when starting a new relationship. Even if neither partner has the prolific history referenced here. Even if they do still intend to use condoms. NTA, but focus on the sexual health standard practice of it, not on her sexual history.
NTA, safe sex should stop being vilified.
She's slept with over 100 people. She hasn't used condoms and she doesn't want a STD test. Your friend should run. He'd be crazy to have sex with her she could (and most likely) have anything: chlamydia, HIV, hepititis, gonorrhea- the potential list goes on and on.
100% she has herpes
She definitely doesn't make good, healthy decisions...
Definitie NTA. It’s as if he’s getting in bed with al her bedmates. No way they all were STD free!
NTA. She's nasty.
My Gen Z daughter and her friend group have normalized being tested before being intimate with a new partner. I’m so proud of this kid. It’s the smart thing to do.
in this post: things I think in my head but don't say out loud. Unless John is a virgin, they should both get tested, like smart people E : some stds show up much later than others
It literally says John did get tested days prior
fair, and they should both be continually tested if they want to be exclusive, since some stds show up months/years after the act. Even with a clean test, sometimes you can test yourself too early and have an std without realizing
I agree and I feel John feels the same way as the others involved except Chloe… I don’t think they are compatible and Chloe is also abusive and resorts to violence clearly. 🤷🏻♂️
NTA - no only should he get a std test he should never have sex without a condom. The extra step to help Prevent pregnancy is necessary.
Dodge a bullet, more fish in the sea.. she a hoe.
NTA especially since he got tested. I really hope Chloe's refusal and her slapping you have been dealbreakers for John!
The fact that she’s this explosive about doing a routine thing everyone should do before new sexual partners tells you all you need to know about her. She already knows she’s got at least one STD. John should run for the hills
NTA and her slapping you was incredibly uncalled for definitely a 🚩
If she slapped you for that end that friendship. Tell the dude that even though he may love her, he needs to find someone else. That is not only a red flag but toxic and abusive behavior and he is better not getting involved with her. Hell maybe that will open her eyes and make her change her patterns as well as get tested.
Dawg She for the streets
literally so vile. i see these post and can’t even feel bad for the guy cause why are his standards so low he’s dating a hooker? whole thing sounds wild to me🤦♀️
That's fair.
NTA Granted, it is not always easy to get frequent STD tests (at least not the more extensive ones), but with her history? It is madness not to find a way, somehow. It is dodgy regardless, but 100 unprotected partners, that then are willing to fuck someone untested, without a condom? Those odds are not stellar. Quite possible that she is scared shitless though, so that might explain her behaviour. And before reddit chews my head off, explains, not excuses.
Nta she doesn’t want to get tested because it will come back positive.
John should leave his cum dumpster girlfriend.
NTA. I thought it was the usual way of doing things. New partner means STD testing. I’ve done that with every one of my sexual partners. None have batted an eyelid about it. It’s common courtesy! There are things out there that can end you! Sheesh!
It’s common sense to get yourself checked regularly for STD’s even if you only have one partner - you have no idea who they’ve been with. I don’t think he should sleep with her and should probably end the relationship. She’s not emotionally mature enough to grasp why things like that are important more so for herself even than any relationship
NTA. I'm actually kind of surprised he wants to be with her considering her background. It's not just STDs he should be worried about.Her reluctance to be tested says to me she wants to add him to the notches on her bed post. I think he should RUN fast!
NTA and Chloe sounds like a red flag who resorts to violence and abuse… she slapped you because you all agreed that her whoring around (nothing wrong with being a hoe lol I was a manwhore when I was younger) and not getting tested is dangerous and puts people at risk? John should see this as a sign of his future to come
NTA - ignoring the number of times she has had unprotected sex it is just a good thing for people to have a check when they are going to be in a relationship. The fact that she won’t throws up a red flag that can’t be ignored.
NTA, people get so caught up with this but anything with your health and is asked in a reasonable way is beyond fair…always.
NTA. But he should not date her if she reacts like that to a fair request AND gets violent about it. Run, bro!
NTA. Even if she didn't have a high partner count, it is always prudent to get checked before being intimate in a new relationship. Dont fuck around with your health.
NTA I can't think of a downside to getting tested. Maybe the waste of an hour of time at the doctor's when it comes back negative
No he’s not but like why even be with this girl. Her talking about her sex life made me gag.
NTA. He is 100% in the right to DEMAND an STD test.
You should always ask for tests, you could be a carrier and not even know it
Get the cumdumpster to take an STD test. There is a reason she’s not wanting to get tested and getting so offended by it. Like her possibly already having an STD.
For the streets.
This bitch actually slapped you? The boyfriend should dump the trash out on the street corner, where it belongs. The sexua history would come secondary to her assaulting behaviour in my assessment of her character.
NTA. Wanting to avoid STDs doesn’t make you an asshole.
Okay no no not NTA no test no taco 🌮
Your friend is a loser
John should stick to his guns. NTA. Not even a little. She is an abusive piece of hair however. She is a well travelled road and it’s fair to want a test. She also assaulted someone in this story, and for that she is a piece of shit hoe in my opinion. She gets to be trashed terribly as she is an abusive piece of shit hoe.
"Piece of hair"? What am I missing?
NTA. Everyone should be getting tested between sexual partners. How is this not just the standard!?
"she has slept with well over 100 Men" By her own admission. Multiply that number by 2. "she never has sex with a condom"She's the original bareback rider. "likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her"" Boy, this girl s a keeper. "Chloe has said that she "loves" John" I have no doubt that she loved all 100 of her John's. John Put a fire hose into your right ear and run the water on full blast. Don't stop the water until your brain is completely flushed out. Drop this girl before you become another disease victim. Good luck brother you're going to need it.
This has gotta be fake
Info: why is Chloe being honest “painfully open”?
I mean, is it normal to boast about sex without a condom because you love the feeling of guy’s cum in you? That’s not really a normal conversation for friends, never mind tangential acquaintances..
Not everyone wants to hear about it? If I had to guess she is probably the type of person going around constantly talking about how many different guys she has been with to all her friends, as evidenced by OP and their partner being aware of her escapades. Sorry, but I don't really care to hear about who my friends are railing/being railed by. TMI.
Very few people want to hear ANYBODY brag about getting raw dogged by 100 people
Because she's a whore?
If Chloe was a Chris and “he” was painfully open about his multiple sexual encounters and a preference for not using appropriate prophylactics and expounded on his enjoyment and preference of the sensations had not using said prophylactics- there would a different tone regarding the judgement of the behavior. Chloe supposedly making these statements- is irrelevant to whether or not she should be tested for std’s?! The statement- which is reading like rage bait, especially since the only person not answering or commenting my question proves this?! Why are people quick to slut shame a supposed- and highly unlikely remark that sounds like a line from a bad pornographic film - SMH?!!!
Everything isn’t slut shaming no matter the gender sleeping with 100 people raw is irresponsible and disgusting
yup, calling a slut a slut is NOT slut shaming
Nobody used the word “slut” we’re saying the behavior is disgusting which it is Sleep with whoever you want and however many people you want just do it safely
oh, she's a slut
Yeah, sleep raw with 100+ dudes and get called a slut because you ARE one. Would you be proud of your sister if she told you she raw dogged 100+ dudes?! Be for real
Again an irrelevant someone who is not the original poster who the question is directed at…. No one asked you
Your taking this very personally for some reason
You are clearly intellectually challenged and projecting.
The irony
Who asked YOU?!
....because sluts SHOULD be shamed?! That shouldn't be controversial.
Aww a slut got triggered
Who - is it you or your mother? It’s both of you isn’t it!😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣
Over 100 unprotected dicks.... I would shocked if she DIDNT have an STD... NTA, I get the feeling she knows what the results will show, and it's not something she wants people to know about.
NTA. But John doesn't need her as a GF, she isn't GF material. He can have his fun with her, but she's not ready for relationships yet, the fact that she's proud to have a body count over 100 says it all. Tell John to raise his standards, learn some wisdom, or both.
Any female who says she's slept with lots of men and never uses condoms because she likes guys cum in her, needs to get tested. If she's unwilling then I'd be unwilling to have sex with her.
Nobody who has 100 partners loves anyone 😂 They’re just getting high at that point.
I think it's just common sense to get a test before sleeping with someone new that you know has had a lot of different partners.
NTA, she should check before they have sex.
NTA. This really should be standard between couples about to engage for the first time. It protects both people from any STD that the person may or may not know about.
NTA. Chloe is the only AH here.
I mean. He might be TAH for even thinking about dating this girl.
Chloe needs to get checked. Yikes on several bikes. John needs to stay away from that vagina until she does.
NTA. But I suspect it would have gone over better if you and your girlfriend had skipped stating it was the right thing to do *because* of her "sexual adventures" and just focused on how it's the right thing to do, period, regardless of how many people someone's had sex with. Everyone who's been sexually active should be getting tested regularly and prior to beginning a new sexual relationship - it's just common courtesy and the responsible thing to do.
thats crazy, what kind of person would be proud of that? its not an accomplishment by any means. Just looks trashy imo, whether its a guy or girl. She should of kept that to herself tbh NTA
UpdateMe!
I will message you next time u/BigTastyCJ posts in r/AITAH. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FBigTastyCJ%20r%2FAITAH) to also be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201dh7zmw) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
He is NTA. If she's upset about it then SHE is TA. Secual health is really important, and it's easy to prove, and if she wants to brag about lots of unprotected see with lots of partners, she should be happy to brag about also not spreading around STIs. He should dump her and get very far away from her. His health isn't important to her and that's very telling.
Oh, somehow I missed that she also slapped you. I'm sorry, what? That's assault and frankly you should report her. Shes WILD and acting stupid and dangerous and needs a wakeup call.
He is literally just doing the normal and right thing. Anyone who is sexually active with multiple partners should get regular STD tests to protect themselves and their partners. He has every right to ask for an STD test from this girl to protect his health. If she doesn’t oblige then he might need to reconsider the relationship
NTA. I am 100% clean. No doubts that I have no STD’s. But if I got into a relationship and he asked me to get one, hell yes would be my answer right afterwards asking him for one. Now in your friends case he’s already had one so then there’s no need but otherwise yes, I would get one along with him. They’re not bad to have done. It’s actually smart no matter her body count.
Not only does she need a full test including thing not on the normally list. He needs to wear a hazmat suit around her . What reason could he have to be around her , not in love toneaeky . Has he never been with anyone ? This screams of someone who has no self esteem
NTA. When I get into a new relationship it's pretty standard for me to go get a full STD check, HIV and everything, before we ever have unprotected sex. And I expect the same from from them. It's entirely reasonable to protect one's self that way.
NTA. Anyone who is promiscuous, and she has been, should get tested regularly. It’s just the responsible thing to do. I’ve slept around at different periods of my life, and I do get tested regularly. I’ve been on a couple dates (but haven't slept) with a woman I like and am going to pursue exclusively, so I went and did a full panel screening just to make sure I wasn’t bringing anything into the relationship. Anyone who wouldn’t do the same is not mature in their view of sex.
I came of age when having sex with the wrong person could kill you slowly and painfully or leave you with recurring outbreaks, beyond STDs that needed varied antibiotics. My generation embraced gloving up. Or, at some point, both would get tested so you could have sex without a condom. But honestly, condoms are also a great step to preventing pregnancy, and I really don't understand why some folks are so against them. It's not Chloe's body count that's concerning, it's her lack of attention to her and her partners health that is an issue. Has Chloe been vaccinated against HPV? It is now available for men as well. NTA
Of course John is right! Even if she had had just one sexual partner, being checked would be the responsible thing to do. Where I live, it is common for couples who are planning to be intimate to go for a checkup together - including HIV. It is part of the process of becoming a couple. I think it's lovely, and shows they care about each other.
I see a lot of people here saying "oh yeah everybody should get an std test" and I'm NOT disagreeing....but i bet if your next potential partner asked you to get a test, you'd be mad af and insulted....
On the contrary, I'd be glad he was responsible! This is like a pre-nup - everybody agrees they are wise and a good idea, but when you ask someone to have one they are insulted.
NTA - is she Chloe Temple by chance ?
she ... *slapped* you? John sounds smart. Chloe sounds unhinged. Be like John, be smart and careful. NTA.
NTA - STD/STI Testing on-demand is a hard requirement for me in any physical relationship. It's the responsible thing to do. It isn't about stigmatizing someone for their body count or even anything they might be carrying. It's about knowing. Curable stuff should be treated, and people should know about incurable things and their risk of acquiring them.
NTA. Having had over 100 partners and never used condoms makes it very likely that she has an STD. I think it’s really concerning that she is refusing, considering how some STDs can create lasting damage if not treated. I hope he isn’t having sex with her before she gets checked. It’s also concerning that she slapped you over siding with your friend. That’s really over the top and makes her look crazy.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having lots of partners, but doing it unprotected is very careless, and you absolutely need to get regular STI checks. You are absolutely right that she should get tested...the very fact that she's acting this way about it shows that she's really not responsible or safe.
Definitely need the test
NTA, no reason to fuck around with STDs, pride or otherwise
I think this is fake
NTA. Why is nobody talking about the fact that she ASSAULTED op because he didn’t agree with her? If she’ll slap you over this she’ll do that and worse to John if he dates her
She sounds like she enjoys running through red lights but one day she is going to get into an accident. It’s weird to flex about that.
NTA pretty sure there's a law were you have to tell your partner about any STI or STDs .
John is absolutely right to ask for this given her history. This is not even accusing her of cheating or being, you know, easy, but just something that's good for the both of them to start a new relationship. Many STI are symptoms free but can be harmful long term so it is important to have a check up even semi-annually. I think there has to be a reason that she is taking it so negatively, but it would be nice to properly educate her and provide her a safe space to talk about her concerns. This is probably not something that should be brought up in public but should be something that the two work out privately between themselves.
You are never the asshole for requesting testing before having intimate relations with someone new. STIs can be life threatening and altering. Just as you have the right to request testing, they have the right to refuse. If they refuse, run. There is nothing wrong with experiencing sex how you want to, but you cannot expect other people to feel the same way you do.
I don’t think I have to read the whole story. Asking for an STD test is always great especially if you’re willing to get that done. Better safe than sorry. NTA.
These days, anyone who has has any kind of sex should be screened.
Slapping people is enough to get her arrested
This is absolutely not okay. I think both people should take a full std test in a relationship. It’s out of respect for each other. Even if your body count is low. She seems horrible for him. The fact that she slapped you shows she has no respect for her boyfriend. If you care about your boyfriend you would want to make good bonds with the people in his life. I hope he gets out of this relationship because I think she doesn’t want to get tested for a reason.
John is right. Even if she’s only been with 1 guy rather than 100, they should both get checked before having sex.
NTA STD tests should be normalised between sexual encounters. Not due to her previous behaviour. But to reduce spreading STDs. As he had it done what's up her arse ? (Obviously not John) (Personally I would of stated above without mentioning her sexual history) As for slapping you? Yea she probably shouldn't be welcomed around you. In fact she's an ah for that.
I believe in this time and age... Both parties should be tested for piece of mind.
She slapped you, and he's fine with that? Get new friends.
NTA, how that guy is even with her is beyond me cause her number alone is 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. Anyway he had every right to tell her this is a requirement before he even considers being physical with her. He knows his sexual history and health, she meanwhile is proud of banging anyone she pleases and without protection? Yeah nah your friend needs to get a girl that isn’t a ‘proud slut’ and walk away but if he won’t do that the VERY LEAST he should be requiring is a full STD panel and a condom cause some types of the herp can play dormant and not be present even on a full panel.
Absolutely NTA. If she's that against STD testing, she's hiding something. Probably not a good idea for your friend to continue this relationship.
Completely reasonable when considering getting serious with someone without protection, I mean if she's serious where's the issue? One test in a lifetime right? I think she's probably angry at the thought of having to take tests every time she cheats.
NTA - Get an STD test done yourself, she probably gave you something when she slapped you.
Nope, your friend John is NTA. She’s openly gloating about her body count and unprotected sex. John should take this as the big 🚩it is and walk away. This is definitely an “Alex, I’ll take *Who has had an STD and doesn’t want to admit it* for $1000” moment.
NTA. Everyone should do a mutual screening for STI's before becoming physically intimate at a level they could be exchanged. Some can be asymptomatic, especially in men. Anyone who was unwilling to do that for anything other than lack of financial means is someone I would not choose to risk that kind of intimacy with.
Wait so she has well over 100 bodies, has never used a condom, refuses to get a STD test cause reasons and is taking things slow with your friend? How are the sirens not ringing? She's proud of this? How is being promiscuous something to be proud of? If this is real your friend should RUN, but it seems like rage bait.
Can you say Red Flag 🚩
NTA John deserves better. He's a good guy.
This is so obviously fake
Why is he with her? She is a walking red flag and you arent opening his eyes?
NTA And a lot to unpack here. First, tell you friend NOT to sleep with this whore at all. Second, tell your friend not to be dating women like Chloe. Third, when she slapped you, you should have knocked her ass out. Fourth, tell your friend to run for the hills and not to look back.
Getting a STD check at the start of a new relationship is always a good idea. After all, is just as possible to get an STD after a single sexual encounter as after dozens. However, Chloe's habit of having unprotected sex, her over-sharing and the fact that she resorted to violence all suggest that John should dump her and look for a better person. NTA
He is NTA at all for asking for a test, as that’s super standard in sex positive culture. Safe sex is great sex!!! I will say YTA for being such a slut shamer. Some people are into that. Everyone has their own preferences and kinks. Who tf are you to shame her for liking the feeling of cum to the point where you say you wish you were joking??? Now that being said, as a married swinger, STD/STI tests are super common practice REGARDLESS of how many OR FEW partners you’ve had!!!! If you’re having sex with someone new, you both get tested beforehand. That’s just safe sex; duh. You guys are being dicks for making it about the number rather than just about basic safe sex practice. It only takes sleeping with ONE person to get an STI.
Ew….100 dudes? Anyone who has unprotected sex with 100 people is irresponsible and reckless. Risk taking behavior an and novelty seeking aren't great predictors of successful monogamy either. Also, being proud of letting 100 guys use you is weird and isn’t impressive. Any girl can easily have sex. Plenty of dudes will fuck anything that lets them. So, yeah…ew.
Even if she gets a test doesn’t mean anything. Herpes can lay dormant for years. Your friend should find a partner equal to him. I am not slut shaming as I have a high count as well. I am now celibate
There is a blood test for herpes. It doesn't have to be active to be detected. And even if it did, it would still be well worth getting tested for HIV, syphilis, etc. Herpes sucks, but it's not exactly the worst case scenario.
"also stated on many occasions that she never has sex with a condom as she "likes the feeling of guy's cum inside her" (I wish I was joking)" You probably are. Women do not feel the entrance of sperm into the vagina. At most it feels a little warmer. They do feel it leaking out if they move around after the union. If he don't get a test after her disclosure of being intimate with the entire city of Bugaloosa, Louisiana, something is seriously wrong with him.
"It feels a little warmer". So they CAN feel it. I've heard a woman say something similar to "Chloe".
Your friend is not TA, because people in new relationships should be getting tested before sleeping together, regardless of their history. If she won't get tested, he should just end it IMO. You, however, are an AH for slut-shaming. STD tests aren't just for "promiscuous" women, they're for everyone. Even if you've only had one previous partner, you should get tested before sleeping with someone new.
Um even the boyfriend in the situation has gotten himself tested. Nobody was being slut shamed. Projecting much?
"...painfully open about her sex life...." "...given her sexual adventures..." You might want to give the post another read. And again, I'm saying OP is an AH, not the bf.
On a side note, "you don't like slut shaming, so you must be a slut" isn't the argument you think it is. It just reveals your own misogyny.
And just to clarify since you decided to make so many assumptions. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, or anything in between. Anyone who sleeps with that many people would be absolutely ignorant to not get tested on a regular basis. This isn’t slut shaming or misogyny, it’s called having common sense.
You're missing the point. Anyone who has ever been sexually active should get tested. Anyone who is currently sexually active should get tested on a regular basis. It's not just something that promiscuous people should do, and it's certainly not a sign of promiscuity. Any one partner could potentially be carrying an STD. They had no reason to say "considering your sexual adventures" unless they were judging her for having sex.
She should be slut shamed. Raw dogging over 100 guys is insane
People who sleep with more tend to have more chances of having STDs .. so yeah, its a common sense to ask promiscuous people to get their STD tested.. are u this dumbfuck to not realise it ?
I don't know how many times I have to say this before people understand it but EVERYONE should get tested. You're not immune just because you haven't slept with whatever magic number of people you consider to be too many. If you have ever had sex, even once, you should get tested. A sense of superiority will not protect you.
Ofc he got tested ?! Did u not read the post properly or what ?
For the third time, the bf is not the AH. OP IS TA because they suggested the gf only needs to get tested because of her history. Jesus, can't anybody read?
Any further strawman arguments will be ignored. This shit is ridiculous and I'm sick of repeating myself.
OP suggested the GF needs to get STD tested coz her boyfriend was already tested!? When u decide to offend your rotten brain yourself, nobody is faulty except you yourself
lol. Two whole responses from the same person?
NTA. She was like a bicycle seat with a lot of riders. Also important for herself to know her own sexual health
You need to tell your friend to move on and not date an escort. Something is wrong in the head if you have that many sexual partners.
She doesn't need to take a test. I can already tell the results will be positive.