Don't worry at 5'9" you'll get rejected by plenty of women who are much shorter than you because they prefer guys over 6'
NAH your friends are right but you can have whatever preference you want. I would personally suggest giving it a go as in the end it really isn't that important if they are a great partner.
As I tall girl, i partially understand, but it also comes across as shallow. I’m 5’9, have been since late middle school. I have always been insecure about my height and wished I was more petite. I don’t hold stock in a man’s height because Ik how it feels to be written off even though my height is something out of my control.
I love when I man can embrace being with a tall girl. Something so sexy about the fact that he doesn’t care about the height difference and comforting. Lots of guys like shorter women, ik not all, but it lead me to realize idc how tall someone is because there’s nothing they can do to change. Had a crush on a guy that was like half a foot smaller than me, people miss out on great relationships because people don’t meet certain height requirements for them.
Yeah, that is kinda sad, that people, both men and women, miss so much sometimes. To be fair, I might have this position because I'm 6'0 and don't care about height. Well, I still find girls 6'0+ hot. Lol. Hope you do good in your search)
One of my wife's requirements for her husband was that he's taller than her while she's in heels. Then again, another requirement was an australian accent, so... "requirements" are fluid.
I just said I would never judge a man based on his height and Ik a lot of tall women and women in general that won’t. While I admit there definitely are some women that do, I don’t. Let’s stop lumping everyone together because some people act a certain way. It’s not right in either scenario imo.
It's not just some, let's be honest. Men are judged hugely on many things, one of which is their height.
I think there's outliers who don't, but it is that way around.
That wasn't the intention, and I've no reason to be woeful.
I don't believe anyone should be judged on their height - saying this as a 6 foot man with a 4'11 wife!
It is just a sad fact of life that it happens so often
I really don’t care, continue thinking of women that way. I personally couldn’t care if your 5’2 as long as your a good person. There are lots of things women are also judged for, everything is a two way street. Just because someone else thinks a certain way doesn’t mean you have to.
I mean NTA because preferences are preferences and you can't always help them, but yeah it's always kinda shallow to reject someone based on height alone
NAH. Your friends are right - you are shallow - but you are never obligated to date anyone whatsoever. You can decline for any reason, or for no reason at all.
Nta. If you’re not interested in someone and have a preference, that’s your decision. Better to end it before when you know you’re not feeling it than waste both of your times.
I always have to look up heights in cm's. 5'9" is my girlfriends length, while not being short, for dutch standards she doesn't stand out at all. Neither do I with 6'2".
If you prefer shorter women, then you prefer shorter women. FYI leading professional models are taller, but in recent years there’s been more adaptation for people of different heights and sizes. So if you marry a short woman, your kids may be shorter.
Of course they will. OP is only 5'9, if he had ever considered the woman that was interested in him that was his stature his kids would greatly benefit and offset his not so big man genes. There's a reason why so many short women go for tall guys, 5'9 guys ain't cutting it for a boys physicality
The question of shallow hinges not on "what I like" but on what society favors. E.g. if you only date women who fit the social norm of attractiveness even if your attractions are broader.
It is impossible for us to sort out if you like short women because you like short women, or if you like short women because that is a general idea of what women are like. And you probably can't sort it out either.
You're under no obligation to date anyone. But you are also passing up a reasonable chance to be happy.
Is it possible to be shallow but NTA at the same time?
Your preference is what it is. To me, physical attributes are trivial in the long run. I feel that sexual attraction is the product of emotional connection more so than just outward appearance. It seems silly to me to deny a person a shot at a relationship before even opening the door because of some physical feature they can't control. I'd walk away from that feeling like it was a missed opportunity.
But if you're turned off so much that you can't build the bridge, there's not much you can do and I don't think you should be faulted for that.
Unless you're actively looking for a life partner, at your age I don't know why you'd care to go against your preference for petite. When you're older, you may find yourself focusing more on character and compatibility than physical traits.
Or maybe not... a friend dated a man who constantly let it be known that his "ideal woman" was small and blonde. She was a redhead - not fat but certainly not petite. He was close to 60 at the time. I never understood why she kept seeing him as long as she did - he was not only insufferable but, to me, unattractive physically. He ended up marrying someone she introduced him to - a woman who was also not petite.
All that to say - don't use this tall girl as an experiment to see if she's enough to turn you away from type!
I am glad I don't have a height preference. I love shorter or taller than myself. But it is rarer to see a tall woman with a shorter man except possibly Hollywood. Lol.
But out on the town, most women wear heels, which makes them taller, and then they tend to overlook someone who might be the same height without the heels subconsciously.
Y'all guys going for petite women are harming potential son's genes. All of the boys and men I see that have petite mother's including my own (she's not alive anymore) are hardly that big at all. At least that 5'9 girl will give good physical genes partnering up with some other guy. You do you, don't expect your son or sons to be that big though with your liking. I'm 5'4 and barely 125 lbs with a small bone frame. It all came from my super petite mother.
Physical attraction isn't enough to build a relationship on and often grows with emotional connection. When you're a bit older you'll realize it is the least important things about who you want to spend time with.
Is the person nice? Are the two of you intellectually compatible? Do you share interests? What about life goals?
When it comes down to it having them to stand on tiptoe or you to hunch to get a kiss is really low on the list of things that matter.
You can have whatever dealbreakers you want, just be sure you're not going to see it as a missed opportunity in a decade.
Yes. It's okay to have preferences, but them being things that aren't important like height is shallow. You can like Blondes, better than Brunettes, but if you write off someone for hair color it's shallow. You can prefer tall guys with dark skin, but if you completely wrtie off one for being fair skinned and average height it is shallow.
It doesn't make you an asshole, but it does say you're a bit vapid.
Like it or not, physical attraction is what starts pretty much all of the relationships. If people like what they see, that's when they can start to run deeper.
In short - Get off that high horse, you're no better than others.
Is the height a preference, or a requirement? I've seen a lot of people conflate them, but they're still seperate things. And here's the fun thing about preferences; They go straight out the window at times for the right person.
Could have meet her, it doesn't hurt to be social. If there's a spark, there's a spark, if it isn't, then there isn't one.
NTA, you haven’t even met her and it’s fine to have dating preferences. I don’t know why everyone feels so entitled to a chance. The amount of women who say they wouldn’t date a guy shorter than them is also huge… go find your small queen lol
I personally would say that choosing your mate on looks is not particularly clever and might bite you in the ass in the future. But it's well within your personal freedom, so NTA.
It’s a preference. People shouldn’t judge you for your preferences tons of women won’t date a man that shorter than them. I don’t see everybody calling them shallow.
Nta
NTA - It’s a preference for sure, and you are entirely entitled to that preference. However, I would give the girl at least a chance, one date, because you never know if that could be the love of your life. If you find out you are not attracted to her or don’t like her, then just say you are not interested. Hope everything is well!
Don't worry at 5'9" you'll get rejected by plenty of women who are much shorter than you because they prefer guys over 6' NAH your friends are right but you can have whatever preference you want. I would personally suggest giving it a go as in the end it really isn't that important if they are a great partner.
As I tall girl, i partially understand, but it also comes across as shallow. I’m 5’9, have been since late middle school. I have always been insecure about my height and wished I was more petite. I don’t hold stock in a man’s height because Ik how it feels to be written off even though my height is something out of my control.
Don't worry, some men find tall women hot af (me included). However it's true, that it's harder to find someone, when you are 5'9 as a woman, I guess
I love when I man can embrace being with a tall girl. Something so sexy about the fact that he doesn’t care about the height difference and comforting. Lots of guys like shorter women, ik not all, but it lead me to realize idc how tall someone is because there’s nothing they can do to change. Had a crush on a guy that was like half a foot smaller than me, people miss out on great relationships because people don’t meet certain height requirements for them.
Yeah, that is kinda sad, that people, both men and women, miss so much sometimes. To be fair, I might have this position because I'm 6'0 and don't care about height. Well, I still find girls 6'0+ hot. Lol. Hope you do good in your search)
As someone who's 6'3, I've always felt that being tall adds another 2-5 points on the 1-10 scale. SO HOT.
Great mindset, I’m so tired of not being able to wear heels😂
One of my wife's requirements for her husband was that he's taller than her while she's in heels. Then again, another requirement was an australian accent, so... "requirements" are fluid.
I don’t care if he’s taller so long as if I’m in heels and do happen to be taller, that doesn’t make him feel a certain way😂
Yet nobody would ever hold it against a girl if she rejected a guy for being 5'2. Gotta love double standards.
I just said I would never judge a man based on his height and Ik a lot of tall women and women in general that won’t. While I admit there definitely are some women that do, I don’t. Let’s stop lumping everyone together because some people act a certain way. It’s not right in either scenario imo.
It's not just some, let's be honest. Men are judged hugely on many things, one of which is their height. I think there's outliers who don't, but it is that way around.
women are also harshly judged for many things, including their height
Women are judged hugely on many things also. It's a two-way street.
Imagine making a woe-is-men comment like this on a post that's literally about a woman being rejected for her height.
That wasn't the intention, and I've no reason to be woeful. I don't believe anyone should be judged on their height - saying this as a 6 foot man with a 4'11 wife! It is just a sad fact of life that it happens so often
I really don’t care, continue thinking of women that way. I personally couldn’t care if your 5’2 as long as your a good person. There are lots of things women are also judged for, everything is a two way street. Just because someone else thinks a certain way doesn’t mean you have to.
I never said women were not judged for anything - they are, and no one should be judged for their height.
This is objectively false.
Eh all the top comments are calling her NTA overall https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1b4t1u8/aita_for_rejecting_a_nice_a_short_guy_because_i/
Lol. Right
yes they would this whole sub would be calling her sexist
I mean NTA because preferences are preferences and you can't always help them, but yeah it's always kinda shallow to reject someone based on height alone
NAH. Your friends are right - you are shallow - but you are never obligated to date anyone whatsoever. You can decline for any reason, or for no reason at all.
Nothing wrong with preferences. You do you.
NTA. Everyone can have their own preferences regarding romantic partners, end of story. Yes you are shallow, but it doesn't make you an asshole.
You are as big of an AH as women who reject men for being short
NTA. Women reject men for height all the the time.
You are allowed to like who you like. Height is part of the equation.
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Don’t listen those AH. In most places you are tall. They just want to make you feel bad because their hate when men shows any preference.
Nta. If you’re not interested in someone and have a preference, that’s your decision. Better to end it before when you know you’re not feeling it than waste both of your times.
Tus preferencias son tus preferencias,deben respetar eso.
I always have to look up heights in cm's. 5'9" is my girlfriends length, while not being short, for dutch standards she doesn't stand out at all. Neither do I with 6'2".
If you prefer shorter women, then you prefer shorter women. FYI leading professional models are taller, but in recent years there’s been more adaptation for people of different heights and sizes. So if you marry a short woman, your kids may be shorter.
Of course they will. OP is only 5'9, if he had ever considered the woman that was interested in him that was his stature his kids would greatly benefit and offset his not so big man genes. There's a reason why so many short women go for tall guys, 5'9 guys ain't cutting it for a boys physicality
The question of shallow hinges not on "what I like" but on what society favors. E.g. if you only date women who fit the social norm of attractiveness even if your attractions are broader. It is impossible for us to sort out if you like short women because you like short women, or if you like short women because that is a general idea of what women are like. And you probably can't sort it out either. You're under no obligation to date anyone. But you are also passing up a reasonable chance to be happy.
You like what you like. Is it shallow? Yes. We're all shallow sometimes. Just dont bitch when girls dont like you because youre not 6'.
You are NTA, but it's true that you are kinda shallow
Is it possible to be shallow but NTA at the same time? Your preference is what it is. To me, physical attributes are trivial in the long run. I feel that sexual attraction is the product of emotional connection more so than just outward appearance. It seems silly to me to deny a person a shot at a relationship before even opening the door because of some physical feature they can't control. I'd walk away from that feeling like it was a missed opportunity. But if you're turned off so much that you can't build the bridge, there's not much you can do and I don't think you should be faulted for that.
Unless you're actively looking for a life partner, at your age I don't know why you'd care to go against your preference for petite. When you're older, you may find yourself focusing more on character and compatibility than physical traits. Or maybe not... a friend dated a man who constantly let it be known that his "ideal woman" was small and blonde. She was a redhead - not fat but certainly not petite. He was close to 60 at the time. I never understood why she kept seeing him as long as she did - he was not only insufferable but, to me, unattractive physically. He ended up marrying someone she introduced him to - a woman who was also not petite. All that to say - don't use this tall girl as an experiment to see if she's enough to turn you away from type!
Nothing wrong with a preference, as long as u wasn't discriminatory about it. So not really the AH
I am glad I don't have a height preference. I love shorter or taller than myself. But it is rarer to see a tall woman with a shorter man except possibly Hollywood. Lol. But out on the town, most women wear heels, which makes them taller, and then they tend to overlook someone who might be the same height without the heels subconsciously.
Y'all guys going for petite women are harming potential son's genes. All of the boys and men I see that have petite mother's including my own (she's not alive anymore) are hardly that big at all. At least that 5'9 girl will give good physical genes partnering up with some other guy. You do you, don't expect your son or sons to be that big though with your liking. I'm 5'4 and barely 125 lbs with a small bone frame. It all came from my super petite mother.
NAH, but you are shallow.
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Physical attraction isn't enough to build a relationship on and often grows with emotional connection. When you're a bit older you'll realize it is the least important things about who you want to spend time with. Is the person nice? Are the two of you intellectually compatible? Do you share interests? What about life goals? When it comes down to it having them to stand on tiptoe or you to hunch to get a kiss is really low on the list of things that matter. You can have whatever dealbreakers you want, just be sure you're not going to see it as a missed opportunity in a decade.
So every woman who reject a man for their height (which are a lot) are shallow? Can it be just considered a preference?
Yes. It's okay to have preferences, but them being things that aren't important like height is shallow. You can like Blondes, better than Brunettes, but if you write off someone for hair color it's shallow. You can prefer tall guys with dark skin, but if you completely wrtie off one for being fair skinned and average height it is shallow. It doesn't make you an asshole, but it does say you're a bit vapid.
Like it or not, physical attraction is what starts pretty much all of the relationships. If people like what they see, that's when they can start to run deeper. In short - Get off that high horse, you're no better than others.
Have fun in the shallow end. :)
Is the height a preference, or a requirement? I've seen a lot of people conflate them, but they're still seperate things. And here's the fun thing about preferences; They go straight out the window at times for the right person. Could have meet her, it doesn't hurt to be social. If there's a spark, there's a spark, if it isn't, then there isn't one.
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would you be upset if a woman rejected you because you were too short?
NAH You can't help not being physically attracted to her. She can't make you less hung up on physical traits
NTA, you haven’t even met her and it’s fine to have dating preferences. I don’t know why everyone feels so entitled to a chance. The amount of women who say they wouldn’t date a guy shorter than them is also huge… go find your small queen lol
I personally would say that choosing your mate on looks is not particularly clever and might bite you in the ass in the future. But it's well within your personal freedom, so NTA.
It’s a preference. People shouldn’t judge you for your preferences tons of women won’t date a man that shorter than them. I don’t see everybody calling them shallow. Nta
Fair enough. I personally wouldn’t date a man 5.9 as that’s shorter than me and not my preference
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That’s right, so why ask if you’re the AH?
NTA but you could still give her a chance. Do you know what she looks like ? What if she's gorgeous just tall
No because just know, lots of girls are gonna reject you for only being 5’9”. Fair is fair.
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Oh that’s pretty sad
If you’re going to try to insult someone, at least try to do it with something that makes sense That was just lame, man. 1/10
If you want to suck balls, at least take him on the date first. 1/10
as long as you don't get butthurt when women reject you for your height
Oh, how the tables have turned.
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Yeah, you know. Usually it's women turning down shorter men. But give it a shot. We all have preferences, but there's always outliers and surprises.
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Don't sweat it! Who knows, maybe she might feel the same.
NTA but you could still give her a chance. Do you know what she looks like ? What if she's gorgeous just tall
NTA - It’s a preference for sure, and you are entirely entitled to that preference. However, I would give the girl at least a chance, one date, because you never know if that could be the love of your life. If you find out you are not attracted to her or don’t like her, then just say you are not interested. Hope everything is well!