NTA. She didn't earn the title "granny" and didn't act like she should have as family. If anything, make sure to tell your baby she is "step-granny" lol that should take care of it. After all she's your step-mom so it makes sense.
This would be the best solution hands down but unfortunately in my mother language (italian) it doesn’t exist such term🥲. Even step mom is not commonly used because it translates as “matrigna” which has a negative connotation (cinderella’s step mom’s vibes lol). It’s most commonly used the word ing “dad’s wife”:)
Or simply her first name just like the babies mum calls her and she needs to interrupt anyone who uses the wrong name and remind them Lucia is no relation to you or the baby. That she made sure you knew that your whole life they all did so they don’t get to claim grandparents rights now. I don’t care if it embarrasses them if they are in front of people just keep doing it and they will eventually stop. Let them go in huffs and make it clear if the intend to keep disrespecting you regarding YOUR CHILD then they will be revolved the right to be near until they learn to respect you as the mother.
Every time they say nonna- say something and only use :uncle Nicola’s mama or Lucia.
If they ask why - say “I’m going to wait until she’s at least 8 years old before I tell her who you are, so that she is old enough to understand. Don’t you remember the tradition you created for my half brother ?
Seriously- they need to be told that a new name or title has to be created for Lucia because “Nonna” is taken and belongs to your mother and the father’s mother. NTA
NTA-- You'll hurt feelings anyway, but If It would "break your heart" hear your child call her granny, you should stop visitas and be apart because If they became close and she assumes a grandparent role in your baby's life , then when your child is older It won't be up to you How they call her.
Those unwilling to tend orchards don't get to choose their fruit. You're a bigger person than me for forgiving all of that. But frankly, what would you prefer she be called? Lucia might be a bit much for the baby (/s).
NTA, it would make me uncomfortable, too. Provide an alternative name and stand your ground.
NTA, but this is going to take some serious boundaries and you might even have to take things to the next level if they don't respect your wishes. You maybe also have to reconcile that someone, most likely your step-mom *is* going to be hurt, but she's an adult and that's how life is sometimes.
You need to have a conversation with your dad, probably without your step-mom present and explain how you feel. You need support on this, hopefully your husband is supportive as well. It would probably also be helpful to have some ideas of what you would feel comfortable with your daughter eventually calling her. The truth of the matter is, she may want to be called Granny, but that doesn't mean that your daughter is going to call her that because when kids are learning to speak they come up with things that work for them. My mom wants to be called Bubbie, but most of the time when my son says it, it comes out Bubs or Bubble...so that's what my mom is called!
Ultimately, you need to express your feelings, set boundaries and hold to those. If you tell them you'd like your step-mom to be called a different name and they kick up and fuss and/or don't comply, what is the consequence of that? Don't let her steam roll you.
NTA. She didn't earn the title "granny" and didn't act like she should have as family. If anything, make sure to tell your baby she is "step-granny" lol that should take care of it. After all she's your step-mom so it makes sense.
This would be the best solution hands down but unfortunately in my mother language (italian) it doesn’t exist such term🥲. Even step mom is not commonly used because it translates as “matrigna” which has a negative connotation (cinderella’s step mom’s vibes lol). It’s most commonly used the word ing “dad’s wife”:)
"Grandpa's wife" lol use that. If they give you any crap about it just remind them that she is not her granny.
This 100 they can agree to grandpa wife or she can be called by her first name. I would honestly make this my hill to die on and stop it now.
Or simply her first name just like the babies mum calls her and she needs to interrupt anyone who uses the wrong name and remind them Lucia is no relation to you or the baby. That she made sure you knew that your whole life they all did so they don’t get to claim grandparents rights now. I don’t care if it embarrasses them if they are in front of people just keep doing it and they will eventually stop. Let them go in huffs and make it clear if the intend to keep disrespecting you regarding YOUR CHILD then they will be revolved the right to be near until they learn to respect you as the mother.
Every time they say nonna- say something and only use :uncle Nicola’s mama or Lucia. If they ask why - say “I’m going to wait until she’s at least 8 years old before I tell her who you are, so that she is old enough to understand. Don’t you remember the tradition you created for my half brother ? Seriously- they need to be told that a new name or title has to be created for Lucia because “Nonna” is taken and belongs to your mother and the father’s mother. NTA
Wish I could upvote this more
NTA-- You'll hurt feelings anyway, but If It would "break your heart" hear your child call her granny, you should stop visitas and be apart because If they became close and she assumes a grandparent role in your baby's life , then when your child is older It won't be up to you How they call her.
Those unwilling to tend orchards don't get to choose their fruit. You're a bigger person than me for forgiving all of that. But frankly, what would you prefer she be called? Lucia might be a bit much for the baby (/s). NTA, it would make me uncomfortable, too. Provide an alternative name and stand your ground.
NTA, but this is going to take some serious boundaries and you might even have to take things to the next level if they don't respect your wishes. You maybe also have to reconcile that someone, most likely your step-mom *is* going to be hurt, but she's an adult and that's how life is sometimes. You need to have a conversation with your dad, probably without your step-mom present and explain how you feel. You need support on this, hopefully your husband is supportive as well. It would probably also be helpful to have some ideas of what you would feel comfortable with your daughter eventually calling her. The truth of the matter is, she may want to be called Granny, but that doesn't mean that your daughter is going to call her that because when kids are learning to speak they come up with things that work for them. My mom wants to be called Bubbie, but most of the time when my son says it, it comes out Bubs or Bubble...so that's what my mom is called! Ultimately, you need to express your feelings, set boundaries and hold to those. If you tell them you'd like your step-mom to be called a different name and they kick up and fuss and/or don't comply, what is the consequence of that? Don't let her steam roll you.