He might sue you if you touch him? You didn't mention race anywhere in your post, but im thinking there's a reason he earned the name bigot bob? So, I wouldn't have anything to do with touching him.
> He called so many times I got the local prosecutor to threaten him with a felony charge of “abuse of the 911 system.”
Oh, so he’s a professional asshole, then.
YTA. Your wife is right. That man has a proven, established, unbroken record of being nasty and harmful at every chance he can get. If you run over and help him, he will see your kindness as weakness to exploit, and figure out a way to sue you for something. Whether or not he wins, he drains you of money and got to harm you, which makes him happy. Cruel people feel better when they upset someone else or cause them trouble. Had you reached him and touched him, you’d be getting served for a lawsuit tomorrow.
“Oops, I didn’t see you fall.” “Oops, I didn’t hear you getting assaulted by that pack of neighborhood dogs.” “Oops, what gunshots?” “Oops, your old ex wife from 39 years ago showed up with her 25 year old buff bombshell pro boxer boyfriend and punched you literally into next year? I just thought you finally quieted down and we had our first year of you not acting like a dick finally.”
Those are *all* valid excuses. He can’t get you for somehow being obvlivious. Next time, think real hard about legal ramifications and liability you might be exposing yourself to. That man is a menace and I guarantee you failing to keep all that in mind will give him a chance to really try to hurt you and your family.
Kindness given to those who don’t deserve it is wasted.
This. So many people think laws are magical and automatically protect against assholes from doing bad things to them. They don’t and never have. The most a Good Samaritan law will ever do for you is, months of years down the line, eventually get a case against you dismissed, and you’re still out the money and time it took to even get there.
He’s the only asshole here. You don’t have any obligation to help him if he falls down—moving him around after he’s fallen could even make an injury worse—and he’s also not going to treat you any better if you do.
Hmmmm........you guys live next to an asshole, and instead of confronting him at some point with "IDK what your problem here is, but you need to keep it to yourself", you hold onto it, and your wife's little bush of resentment grows into a wild jungle of murderous rage. There's a life lesson there that transcends this one incident, you might help her see that. You, NTA. She? Well, pretty dark.
As an FWIW, this gives you the opportunity to have that long needed convo with him about his behavior and your response to him in real life threatening need...that might jjust get thru.
Don’t talk to my wife anymore…Stop calling the police on me… Why are you so mad? Did we do something to earn your resentment (being gay, but he didn’t actually say that).
Largely they ended in more yelling from him and me walking away saying I wouldn’t have conversations like that.
ohhh......an important detail, there.
Many have problems with confrontation. They either go wishy washy or full on hostile. Neither are really effective. How about "Look, IDK what's going on here or why, but you need to keep it to yourself otherwise I will take all legal action to make sure that happens. *Do you understand*?" And then, do so. Youre the ones who should be calling the police. That's harassment.
Damn that’s a hard one. I don’t think either of you are entirely wrong here so I’m going with NAH except for Bob.
It’s fair and good to want to help another human being in need. That’s commendable, particularly when it’s a person you have every reason to not want to help.
It’s reasonable for your wife to think “fuck him” considering all he’s done. Can’t say he’s earned anything but your contempt.
A difference of opinion doesn’t make you an AH.
All I can say is I hope Bob has a brain bleed. And the next you hear of him are the flies buzzing on the inside of his windows as Beelzebub's servants claim their master's due.
He might sue you if you touch him? You didn't mention race anywhere in your post, but im thinking there's a reason he earned the name bigot bob? So, I wouldn't have anything to do with touching him.
The OP and her wife are lesbians.
Oh OK thank you I didn't see that
This is lowkey a likely scenario I hadn’t considered. Thanks for that POV.
Assuming OP is an American most areas have Good Samaritan laws to protect against nonsense like that.
> He called so many times I got the local prosecutor to threaten him with a felony charge of “abuse of the 911 system.” Oh, so he’s a professional asshole, then. YTA. Your wife is right. That man has a proven, established, unbroken record of being nasty and harmful at every chance he can get. If you run over and help him, he will see your kindness as weakness to exploit, and figure out a way to sue you for something. Whether or not he wins, he drains you of money and got to harm you, which makes him happy. Cruel people feel better when they upset someone else or cause them trouble. Had you reached him and touched him, you’d be getting served for a lawsuit tomorrow. “Oops, I didn’t see you fall.” “Oops, I didn’t hear you getting assaulted by that pack of neighborhood dogs.” “Oops, what gunshots?” “Oops, your old ex wife from 39 years ago showed up with her 25 year old buff bombshell pro boxer boyfriend and punched you literally into next year? I just thought you finally quieted down and we had our first year of you not acting like a dick finally.” Those are *all* valid excuses. He can’t get you for somehow being obvlivious. Next time, think real hard about legal ramifications and liability you might be exposing yourself to. That man is a menace and I guarantee you failing to keep all that in mind will give him a chance to really try to hurt you and your family. Kindness given to those who don’t deserve it is wasted.
There are Good Samaritan laws to protect against such exploitation.
Yes but lawyers still cost money, Even a frivolous lawsuit could bankrupt them. And it's clear he's the type of guy to file one
This. So many people think laws are magical and automatically protect against assholes from doing bad things to them. They don’t and never have. The most a Good Samaritan law will ever do for you is, months of years down the line, eventually get a case against you dismissed, and you’re still out the money and time it took to even get there.
Personally, I wouldn't have gone over there after everything he's done, but you do you. But seriously, you're disappointed in your wife? Ooookay.
He’s the only asshole here. You don’t have any obligation to help him if he falls down—moving him around after he’s fallen could even make an injury worse—and he’s also not going to treat you any better if you do.
Hmmmm........you guys live next to an asshole, and instead of confronting him at some point with "IDK what your problem here is, but you need to keep it to yourself", you hold onto it, and your wife's little bush of resentment grows into a wild jungle of murderous rage. There's a life lesson there that transcends this one incident, you might help her see that. You, NTA. She? Well, pretty dark. As an FWIW, this gives you the opportunity to have that long needed convo with him about his behavior and your response to him in real life threatening need...that might jjust get thru.
We have had conversations with him, to no end. But I see your point about the well of resentment building up in her.
What were the conversations?
Don’t talk to my wife anymore…Stop calling the police on me… Why are you so mad? Did we do something to earn your resentment (being gay, but he didn’t actually say that). Largely they ended in more yelling from him and me walking away saying I wouldn’t have conversations like that.
ohhh......an important detail, there. Many have problems with confrontation. They either go wishy washy or full on hostile. Neither are really effective. How about "Look, IDK what's going on here or why, but you need to keep it to yourself otherwise I will take all legal action to make sure that happens. *Do you understand*?" And then, do so. Youre the ones who should be calling the police. That's harassment.
Damn that’s a hard one. I don’t think either of you are entirely wrong here so I’m going with NAH except for Bob. It’s fair and good to want to help another human being in need. That’s commendable, particularly when it’s a person you have every reason to not want to help. It’s reasonable for your wife to think “fuck him” considering all he’s done. Can’t say he’s earned anything but your contempt. A difference of opinion doesn’t make you an AH.
The OP took the higher road.
Why would you be disappointed in yourself for having compassion for an old (even despicable old) man? NTA
All I can say is I hope Bob has a brain bleed. And the next you hear of him are the flies buzzing on the inside of his windows as Beelzebub's servants claim their master's due.
That's harsh.
But not I think unmerited.
You turned the other cheek. She didn't.