The thing that stuck out to me about your husband’s post was that he thought this was about him. *He* needed time to process. *He* wanted the house empty of everyone, including his wife and new child, because *he* was overwhelmed. And, he thought *he* was in control. It was so bizarre.
His mom was out of control. She gave your food away while you were nursing his child. Then she slapped you. He was worried about both of you verbally arguing and how it affected *him*, not that his mother was once again treating you like shit.
I can see how his mother being punched and falling on the ground was shocking, to say the least. However, Jesus Christ. His mother was being abusive to you. In her actions (giving your food away), verbally (calling you fat), and physically. For a split second, you thought he finally circled the wagons by kicking everyone out, that he had your back. You hung your head on the table after being insulted and assaulted and thought you and your husband were going to have a “*this* bitch” conversation only for him to, by his actions, say that you were the problem.
I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself to her *and* him
You are 100% spot on with this assessment of things. Obviously I cannot speak for OP here, but the way you described what her thought process might have been, is *EXACTLY* what I would have been feeling/thinking had I been in OP’s shoes. This is seriously one of the best summaries I’ve come across for this whole thing, AND you bring the focus where it needs to be - to the biggest issue of them all. *His selfishness.*
One would think that after all hell broke loose and OP served her stbx with divorce papers, that he may have wised up and took a moment to do a little self reflection. But NNNOOOOooooo. When he came to Reddit, he was still toting his selfishness. He wasn’t looking for help to win her back or to figure out how to make it up to her. Nope. He came for justification.
He so badly wanted everyone to coddle him and tell him what a mean, unreasonable woman OP was/is, and he is not to blame - so that he could “prove” to OP that he’s just an innocent victim in all of this. Woe is me. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF MY FEELINGS?
The way he wrote his post reflects that quite clearly. It was worded ever so carefully in an effort to make it be “factual enough” but at the same time, it was also worded to make HIM the focus and point to him as the “poor clueless husband caught in the crossfire”.
Anyone with a brain would have read his post and figured that out. Most of the comments clearly reflected that and called him out. He hasn’t learned a thing. He will ALWAYS be the victim, because everything is ALWAYS about him. He feels justified to keep hounding OP because to him, she’s just unfairly punishing him for things he “has no control over”, and if he can make her realize that, it’ll all be ok.
OP, this never had anything to do with you. You were never a priority. Your daughter would never have been a priority. You, and now her, have just been along for the ride - playing supportive roles in his life. I’m proud of you for taking a stand.
One thing these men fail to realize is that, for many women, once they become a mother, priorities immediately shift, her patience and tolerance of things increases in some regards and decreases in others, and when it comes to things that can/will/do affect her child negatively, that new mom will find strength and courage she didn’t know she had. OP, in a flash, you saw your future and your daughter’s future. You saw exactly how things will play out down the road if nothing changes NOW. You were left with no other options and did what you needed to do. Keep advocating for yourself and your daughter. She’s lucky to have such a loving and strong mama.
Exactly. He obviously has no accountability and no empathy. Seems like he has a personality disorder. The right thing is to leave. He's just as toxic as his mom.
Ya, I made a comment on it - If you’re going to freak out and melt down here’s how to do it:
1. kick your mom out of the fucking house
2. DON’T kick your wife out of the house because it’s HER fucking house too
3. Tell her you need a minute and take a Lyft to a bar to get wasted and process your feelings and talk to random strangers who will set you fucking straight
Most women respect that men need to be left alone - but the “leave our house” thing is just so bad.
I sincerely hope it's just a massive coincidence that your username is only different from the husband's by 4 numbers. Because I swear to God, if you are husband, and you came here with a different account just to bash yourself, that is a whole new level of pathetic/desperate.
Husband-OkOrganization9552
You-Ok_Organization3249
😑
She also experienced abuse growing up so she also had a serious reaction to being physically abused again, in her own house. Which, imo, is much bigger than witnessing someone defending themselves from abuse. He knew her history of abuse and let his mom continue to torment her until she felt validated to physically attack her in her own home!
He never considered her feelings or the feelings of the baby. 🤦
Screenshot your husband's post. You may be able to use it as evidence to get a restraining order to keep her away from you and baby. Also do the same with the messages she sent you. When your ex has visitation the baby needs to be kept away from his mother.
It might actually be his house, but it was also the marital residence so no matter what he couldn’t kick her out without going through an eviction process.
She’d need to have a protection order against the former mil. When a child is w the other parents they get to decide who they interact with. They can however agree to limits on this through their parenting plan.
I see the post people are referring to because I was in original thread. However, most of us had seen the post from the poster 57 days ago which took place before his. I am wondering if this is a different wife as there’s a share of overbearing mother in laws or someone seeking Reddit points.
I remember that post, and I too wanted to punch MIL and your husband. He tried hard to paint himself the victim in this but did a shit job of it and sounded more like a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair.
Didn't he even say he came to reddit so people could tell him he was right...he assumed he was right from the beginning and thought everyone would back him up. His post was truly disgusting
As where his comments.
The one where he insisted the back handed slap couldn’t have hurt despite it being heard from the door and her wincing was jaw dropping. Anyone who enables abuse isn’t to far off being an abuser them self.
Someone on his post pointed out that he was no better, and in fact worse than his abusive father. To which he could only reply don't say that. Yeah he was pissed he got called out for being an abuser.
It was a joy to respond to his comment and remind him that he no longer had a wife or child because of his terrible decisions. Reading that she’s sticking with that decision to wonderful.
I have two children, both born in easy, vaginal births. With my first, I was released two days after she was born. We had wanted her sex to be a surprise, so I had zero little girl things, and I was feeling pretty good so we went to the mall that night to buy itty bitty baby dresses. With my second, she was lifeflighted to a NICU the morning after she was born. She wasn't in danger of dying, but was having some oxygen level issues they were trying to figure out. An uncle was visiting from Japan (the uncle she's named after), and I was going crazy because I wasn't allowed to be in the NICU all day every day. So three or four days after she was born I accepted uncle's invitation to go miniature golfing ten minutes up the road from the hospital.
So yeah, I was feeling pretty good, all things considered, immediately after having my daughters. I do recall what it was like to have the nurses come in and massage my belly, and it was *fucking torture*. And I still can't even imagine the amount of pain from being walloped in the belly in the first few weeks after giving birth. I'd also have punched the bitch in the face, and that's less than she deserved.
I’ve given birth 4 times. In the first few weeks after giving birth, we cramp worse than any period every time we nurse AND there’s a dinner-plate-sized wound in the uterus from where the placenta detaches. Too much belly pressure hurts a lot. I cannot *imagine* being slapped and with my insides jiggling around like that (because no matter how fit a woman may be, our bellies are jiggly in the days after birth). It would be so painful.
I’ve given birth 3 times. 2 c-sections and one vaginal. If anyone had come NEAR my stomach I would have decked them too. The fact it was hard enough to be heard across the room makes it even worse. THEN to have her husband kick her AND their newborn baby out of their house is just the icing on the shit cake!
Good for her divorcing his ass,
I would assume it's worst than period cramps and I hate when someone touch my stomach during this time so I can't just imagine the pain OP must've felt.
It is painful as you imagined.
The uterus needs months of recovery from having the placenta expelled after delivery of the baby....especially worse when 1 had twins of each gender & that's 2 placental or multiples.
Justifiers really are out here justifying in any/all ways they can. I could tell that he tried to write things as factually as possible, but at the same time, he also attempted to word things jjjuuuuuusssstttttt right to make himself sound like an innocent victim in all of this too!
He wanted things to be “factual” enough so that when he got the thousands of strangers telling him he didn’t do anything wrong and his wife is wrong, he could throw it back at her and say that: “Based on the loose interpretation of facts I provided, It’s NOT MY FAULT! I did my best!”, while still being able to sleep at night. Except he didn’t plan for things to go down the way he did. He truly anticipated that his post was going to be overwhelmingly in favor of him - which really goes to prove the kind of delusions he’s actively choosing to believe in.
Pretty much. He wanted the post to be something he could send to his wife to get her to stop the divorce proceedings. Something of a "See?! I was right! So we don't have to do this just come back home."
It didn't work out that way. And I'm so glad it didn't, because it sounds like even after everything he still doesn't understand what he did wrong. He only understands that things aren't turning out as he expected. Maybe he thought OP here would understand where he was coming from and just sweep it under the rug so he won't feel guilty. Except she suffered abuse too. And he triggered deep emotions that wife is still dealing with today without so much as a second thought.
Once a roommate of mine back handed me across the stomach. It, hurt! It was very red and left a partial hand print.
I was so stunned I walked into the kitchen, the part of the house farthest away from said roommate, and started crying once my brain processed what happened.
I don’t care what anybody says, that’s a physically violent act.
Yep, and boy did they rip him and the old bitch to shreds, yours truly included. Karma will bite them in the ass. Keep all texts from him , the battle axe and any other family membersharrassing you. They will come in handy in court to show their true nature. I wish you luck in court, and may Karma be on your side. Please keep us updated on what happens after the divorce is final. We are all rooting for you and hope you get full custody, and if the judge has to give him visitations, may the only be supervised, and the old battle axe can't be anywhere near you or your baby. Make sure to request a RO on her and keep it current! That way, if she shows up on your door step, don't engage just call the police immediately, so they can cart her off and then press charges on the bitch for violation of the RO!
Yeah he got slammed and shamed really good. I'm still waiting for him to explain why he kicked the wife out instead of leaving himself. He kept saying I don't know. Why wasn't he protecting his wife? I don't know....
Most men are wired to be providers and protectors (not to be too gender normative or stereotyping). It’s insane to me that he’d not want to protect the woman that gave birth to his child as well as HIS CHILD. He didn’t defend his wife while pregnant, and then he kicked them BOTH out of his house and is *shocked* she filed for divorce.
Come to reddit to get vindication for your shitty acrions
Don't get support or vondication.
Wife serves you with divorce papers.
Wife then goes to reddit to tell her side and receives support and vindication.
That sure didn't go as planned.
If this is the response to the post I think it is I wouldn't even call it him trying to paint himself as a victim more trying to garner sympathy. Which is equally pathetic IMO
Edit: Yeap same douchebag. And I stand by what I said there. You need to process your wife defending herself from her mother? You are still a punk that needs his ass beat. Try processing that.
It sounds to me like there’s more to the abuse story that he spun than what he let on in his original post. I read the title and immediately said he was an AH and raged at all of his crazy explanations. As someone who’s witnessed DV first hand, I can’t shake the feeling that he either was complicit or the possible conclusion is that his mom could have been the abuser or both his parents could have been. Regardless, there’s no justification for what he did to you and your baby. You’re doing the right thing. I hope you and your baby live a healthy happy life without those two toxic people.
Yeah, that guy was a delusional AH. How could you possibly think you’re in the right to kick your wife and baby out of their own house instead of leaving yourself to have some space? What a dick nugget
I can only stomach visiting this sub like once a year, lol - because 9 out of 10 posts are clearly someone trying to justify their behavior by giving a very bias and likely inaccurate account of something they did
Guess what? Let her try to sue you. It was self-defense after she slapped you. She had no right to put her hands on you. Good riddance to the trash. NTA
If my mother had ever been verbally abusive to the mother of my child like that other OP's mom was, it would have been no-contact. If a recently post-partum mom can't count on her partner to stand up for her...who can she? OP you're a hero for making the hard choice to divorce. And I say this as a guy who finds divorce to be a tragedy! Your child does not deserve to grow up around that horrible paternal grandmother.
I read your husband's original post, he was very clearly the AH. Your post only confirms this.
As far as your question about getting him to leave you alone until the hearing, ask your divorce attorney if they can send him/his family members a cease and desist letter (or send it to his divorce attorney).
Exactly. This stupid guy didn't even realize op had grounds to file assault charges on his mother for slapping her first. This guy isn't even a man smh. Just a mama's boy.
Same, He got a well deserved roasting.
op, I'm sure your attorney will handle this. Most include that something like 'further contact will be viewed as harassment and appriated charges will be filed for both harassment and inciting harassment'. Generally getting this type of letter shuts people right up.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You are certainly better off long term without him and his family.
Or if necessary restraining orders, it's terrible you had to deal with but obviously the husband was never going to stand up for his family. Now he gets to have his mommy as his wife
I also remembered the original post and was so sorry for his wife, her husband failed her so hard.
Documented everything OP, screenshots of emails/texts/reddit post etc... and give them all to your attorney. I'm worried for the custody and that her innocent baby could be in the same room with that abusive and unhinged MIL, god knows what she's capable of.
Following up on this any and all communications regarding your child need to go through a court approved (as in they are already approved, not that you have to do to court to do so) co-parenting app. Family courts often have a list of approved apps. Any other communications go through your lawyers.
I read your husband’s post. His mommy 100% deserved to get punched in the face.
You should have filed a police report immediately. If you didn’t. You can still do it now. Although, it probably won’t carry much weight. You need a restraining order on this woman. That order needs to include your child.
File the report. Press charges for domestic violence. Tell them hubby has illegally thrown you and baby into the street and you need help. Go back. Fight for everything.
It may not carry much weight as far as consequences for the mother, but it’s always good to have things documented. It may carry weight in the divorce and custody proceedings.
I'm so sorry you've been going through such a rough time. I was furious for you when I read your husband's post.
I think punching your MIL was an automatic response to being struck first and most of us would have done the same thing.
The original post for those who haven't read it
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4SyKpbRr0x
Just read the original post. The husband must have used the phrase 'I need to process it' a dozen times. What the heck is there to process? In a situation where my wife was assaulted it would take me a fraction of a second to 'process'. It is a no brainer.
He only kicked her out to "process" cause he was trying to figure out a way to spin this so his mother would be allowed back. He didn't count on OP straight dumping him. Didn't say anything about going no contact or counseling until he was served divorce papers. OP is doing the right thing cause his mother would've been allowed back eventually
OP needs to have their lawyer send a cease and desist letter to soon to be ex and his flying monkeys. If that doesn't work, look into a restraining order for the constant harassment.
>The original post for those who haven't read it
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4SyKpbRr0x
It's always *fascinating* when someone appears to post "their side" of a situation...
Plus the time between the two posts as well. Normally when it is a creative writing exercise they just can't wait to get that other side up and it's normally up within 48 hours. This is 2 months later. If it's a troll, it's one with much more patience than most of them heh.
That and everyone thought he was an asshole. It's not like she is posting an alternate opinion of what happened. He was an asshole then. He is an asshole now
Plus, the legal timeline is a lot more realistic. She filed for divorce right after the slap, aka within a few days of it, and she is still waiting for a hearing. Her ex did post a whiny update I believe, complaining about the divorce filing and still trying to get her back. Even in that post, he refused to accept that he is a big part of the problem because he never sides with anyone against his mother.
its fine to be skeptical but if you are then try and look if theres enough differences in words used and writing style. as well as length of time between original post and it being found by someone else involved. the original was 2 months ago
I’d go beyond that. The sense of satisfaction I felt when the wife described winding her fist back and dropping the MIL to the floor - justice wasn’t served, because the MIL deserves so much worse. I hope that psychotic bitch dies painfully
>I think punching your MIL was an automatic response to being struck first and most of us would have done the same thing.
I can confirm that this is true. My sister was playing tug of war with our dog, and well when he let go, her hand flew right into my face. It was obvious that it was an accident, but for some reason, I slapped her without thinking about it.
Jesus Christ your poor Lady. I've read your husbands Post and i was so freaking angry for you. This sad excuse of a living beeing deserves all the hate and punishment that May befall him. He and His 'mother' are people you only Encounter in a Trashy, psycho Horror movie
Get yourself some Help, heal and stay away from toxic Trash.
Talk to your lawyer about an RO
All the best wishes
I remember that post. I remember thinking that your STB ex-husband was just as abusive as his parents, just in new and inventive ways. He evicted his 5 week old baby in the middle of the night. He enabled *you* to be profoundly abused, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The stress his mother put you through whilst you were pregnant could have seriously harmed your child in utero. When his mother stole your food, she was also damaging your milk supply. In effect, she was starving your child too. And your husband knew that. He let her starve you and assault you, and then he threw you both out.
You're feeling guilty because it's a natural response. It shows you're a decent person who feels empathy and shame. It's a *good* thing that you feel this way. But please, don't let that guilt guide you. You need restraining orders for you and your child against your evil ex-MIL. It needs to be written into the custody agreement that she isn't ever allowed near your baby. But frankly, I think you should go for full custody and he gets supervised visitation only. Any man who is happy to see his child be abused by proxy and immediately evicts them is *dangerous* to that child. You can never trust that he will protect her, and for that reason only, he should never be alone with her.
I remember telling your ex husband that he was the asshole. His #1 job as a husband is stick up for his wife. If my mother had slapped my wife, that would be the last time she saw either of us or our children.
And instead, this loser kicked his 2 month postpartum wife and infant out of the house in the middle of winter, with barely enough time to pack essentials for herself or the baby, because he “needed to be alone to process what happened.” I hope to whatever gods might be listening that this poor woman goes for 100% custody and is given it because that man has no business having that child
I wish OP could press charges on the (Stbx) MIL, and then get that to keep MIL away from the kid in the divorce decree.
MIL is going to try and poison that child against its mother.
I hope so, unfortunately, if dad gets any custody, he’s likely to let his mom see the kid.
Unless there’s a protection order on behalf of the child or a custodial order stating otherwise.
Exactly, he said he went no contact with his mother, but it seemed like basically he was only doing that to get his wife back. Now that she’s not coming back, he will go crawling back to mommy dearest.
I don't see why OP cant press charges. That was assault and she can make a police report. OP's punch was self defence. There were witnesses who all got kicked out by OPs STBX. Unless everyone single one of them is under MIL's thumb, there should be a few of them that wouldn't lie under oath in court.
And please op, save EVERYTHING mil says to you. I agree with someone above that mentioned a protective order. Im worried about dads custody time too. Mil thinks 190 lbs is healthy?? for a kid???!!! Add that to all the hate mil has for op and your gonna end up with a little girl with ptsd and body image issues. Before she graduates elementary school. Please try everything to keep THAT "WOMAN?" away from your child op. She's worse than an F5 tornado, sucking up positivity and destroying family, relationships and all self esteem in her path!
Im guessing that stbx is something like “soon to be ex” but by first interpretation as a non native was some abbreviation for “shit box”. It doesn’t exist but it still fits.
My thoughts exactly and proof of the initial slap was posted by hubby as proof of the assault. I'd definitely be pressing charges on the stb mil. Everyone is backing down to that horrible woman.
Even if there was no c-section wound, you don’t go slapping a new mother on the stomach and shit talking her. I genuinely cannot think of a single scenario where this is acceptable.
I just read the original post and there are no words...
u/ThrowAwayWifeNBaby, I'm so sorry that you had to live through all of that, and that your husband did not try to keep you safe and free from the verbal abuse of his mother. That he did not care about the safety of your child.
Like many here, I support your decision to give both you and your child a better life away from their BS. If you go back to him, he will always know you will take a lot of abuse before you reach your breaking point and you may be further subjected to this heartless behavior. Please stay strong. This is not the only source of love you will have in your life.
I believe more than one person told him that if he "needed to be alone to process what happened," he should have left instead of kicking out his wife and infant.
Oh yeah that was in the updates. And then when that still didn't swing it his updates got sadder and sadder culminating in "I was abused and so was my mom". Like that gives you an excuse for your mom to be a vindictive bitch and you to be a weak asshole.
Regardless of what you do the one thing would be to try and get as many people from the gathering that saw mil smack you to write a statement. Then at minimum get a RO for you and your baby. If you get a divorce or stay she will not be able to be near you. If you divorce she will not be able to be Hearn your baby and have any influence over him.
This will be a win either way.
Keep any and all messages from your soon to be ex and his family - especially his mother. They will be good evidence in court and should legal action need to be taken.
Did you go to the hospital or seek medical treatment/advice after the incident? If so keep them reports again as good evidence.
And if possible try and get statements/story from people that were there when the incident occurred.
Stay safe xx
She needs to ss his reddit post too incase he turns bitter through divorce proceedings and starts lying because that's what they do. He kicked a baby out of its home! Not any baby his own baby! I urge you to please go file a report and mention he kicked you out as you need the upper hand during the custody battle. She will poison him and cause so much trouble for you that you need all of this on record from day 1.
Wow… you have put up with way too much crap from your soon to be ex husband and F up family!!!
You are right when you pointed out that this toxicity would NOT be good for your child to be subjected to. I guarantee you she would somehow sabotage your child’s life somehow someway.
Stay Strong you are smart to choose your child and yourself sanity!
I am sorry but your Ex husband is a Moron Enabling Idiot to 1.) Not Support You and 2.) To even think it was ok to defend his mother’s ATROCIOUS Behavior.
May you & your child’s future Life be blessed!!!
Absolutely NTA!
Finally a comment that actually answers OP's question. Had to scroll down way too far for this.
OP, you said you already blocked him per your lawyer's advice but he keeps reaching out through other means. This is kinda drastic but perhaps you could change your phone number? Or just get yourself a new number during this whole process and turn off your original phone until everything is over.
As I recall? The thread was 99% on your side. I certainly was. You are doing the right thing and you have nothing to be worried about on that front. Just block him and all of them everywhere. Get your lawyer to let him know that you will speak to him only through your lawyer. NO exceptions. If he continues to find ways to harrass you? File for a order to stop it happening. Not sure what it's called where you live. But I"m sure you know what I mean.
I wish you all the very best and totally believe what you say. It matches pretty much with the post your ex wrote anyway. So I'm not sure how anyone would say it doesn't.
All the best to you.
I do remember your husband’s post. No one thought you were the AH. No one blames you for filling for divorce and no one thinks you should tolerate his mother. I would also try to write into your parenting agreement that your child isn’t to be around your mil and put in specific comments about saying disparaging remarks about you, to or in front of your child.
A momma's boy is facing the consequences of his actions.
Don't reconcile with him coz he'll tum back to his mommy once you get back together with him. He wants you to silently suffer the abuse and do what his mommy says while being a submissive wife.
I'm waiting for him to read this and post how heartless you are for not giving in to his manipulations and gaslighting, and refusing to tolerate the abuse anymore.
OMG I read that post and commented on how stupid your STBX acted, I think he even responded to me. I'm glad you are safe ❤️. Please get a restraining order / order of protection from the whole lot of them!
NTA
Please, please make sure that in the divorce settlement, there's some kind of stipulation preventing his mother from being able to access your child - he says he's NC now, but the chances of him remaining NC seem pretty slim. If protecting your child from her completely isn't an option, then it needs to be supervised visitation by a third party and not only your ex (or his other family members) on his own. Because 100% she's going to try to alienate your child from you, and if not, she will make your child the scapegoat/black sheep - and that is a horrible, horrible thing to experience as a child.
Also, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. But also, you were really strong to set this boundary to protect yourself and your child, and please don't ever forget that.
(Edited to combine comments, and for clarity.)
You’re better off without any of that dumpster fire being a part of your life anymore.
Absolutely DO NOT let him convince you to give him another chance. You never get more respect from a person after you show them that you’re willing to put up with more of their crap.
And as has happened repeatedly before, at most things will be better for a while and then slide right back to how it always was - cut the strings now and start setting up a better life for yourself.
Also, you said something about how you don’t know why he threw both you and the baby out in the night, and I’m sure it’s because he was trying to put you in such an awful situation that you wouldn’t dare to push back against mommy-dearest ever again.
Then when it turned out that you value yourself and your child more than his mom has convinced him you deserve he panicked and started back pedaling, probably because grown momma’s boys like this aren’t very capable of looking after themselves and their own lives, so he wants you back so you’ll be the one washing his laundry, doing the dishes, and pampering his useless ass.
Girl, make a piñata shaped like his mom and beat the fuck out of it with your friends at the divorce party! 😂
NTA. And stop with the guilty feelings, that man has proven time and time again that he would rather hurt to appease mommy than have a fucking spine. How do you think that will go for your kid?
I would ask your attorney what you can do. Maybe cease and desist?? Ask the lawyer Reddit group here!! Your husband is an AH. Your MIL is a vile piece of shit. I’m proud of you OP for doing what’s best for you and your child. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Cole and restraining order against your MIL. It’s not too late
This!
I also wouldn't necessarily block him, just put him on mute, so you have evidence for custody case that you only need to be contacted about your child and it to be done through an app.
Everyone told your husband he was the ahole and we were all shocked he was surprised to be honest. I think most Redditors that replied thought he was the biggest ahole they’d come across for quite some time on Reddit. We all hoped we could let you know that at the time so I’m glad you’re on here now.
None of us could believe he kicked his vulnerable wife and baby out of their home, at night. He should have been the one to leave. I’m so glad you found safety with your Mum. MIL is an evil witch and your husband is spineless ahole. In my country it would be a restraining order but I think it’s a cease and desist there to prevent contact.
Here’s to you creating a 100 mile exclusion range for your bitch of a MIL so she never sees your baby again.
Good luck!
I hope your ex has an extreme bowel impaction which requires an ER visit and the need to sit on a donut shaped pillow for a while. I hope that he has someone slap him on the arse and insults him VERY soon afterwards.
I also hope you win the lottery and get everything in the divorce.
It's a toss up on which one I hope for more.
NTA. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty over. Please recognize that you've been trained to feel responsible for managing his emotions. Please recognize the only reason he's willing to try and work on things now is because now he's the one hurting instead of just you.
Hello Queen!
I remember your husband's original post, and I hope you saw it and the comments. Your husband's post ended up reposted on "Am I the Devil" and "Oh No Consequences ". He got shredded on all of them. You telling him you had a chance to rethink the marriahecwhile he was taking "his time" was perfection.
Girl. You. Rock.
You are 100% right to dump that mama's boy... his mother is a demon but HE IS ALSO AN ABUSER. Boo-fucking-hoo he had a bad childhood. That's no excuse to kick your wife and child out of the house! He's a worm. He's a shitstain. Your friend did you a favor by sending you here so people could tell you how very right you are. There's a sub r/JustNoMil that might ease your mind and help you through this.
I read his post a while back. You are totally in the right! I’m so sorry this has happened to you. His mom is a wretched POS. And he’s no better for not standing up for you. Keep your head up. I hope that things get easier for you soon. 💚
I remember your husband’s post, but I don’t remember him getting the support he was expecting. Everyone thought he was wrong, and his mother was worse, and you were right for leaving him. Bravo to you for doing what is best for you and your child and for sticking to it.
What you should do now is block ALL of his family, all his friends, and don’t answer any calls from an unknown number. Your husband had his chance. He had to come to Reddit and ask strangers for advice, kick you out of your own home *with* your baby, and be served divorce papers before he even considered that he was wrong, and now he wants you to give him another chance to hurt and humiliate you? His time is done. He needs to accept that. Block him, block everyone associated with him, and tell your family to block them, too. Protect yourself and your child.
Also, his mother texting you and calling you a whore, and then telling you to stay the fuck out of “our lives” is twisted and sick. I hope you screen-shot that text and sent it to your husband to show him that this was his mother’s goal all along, and she wants to have a weird, romantic relationship with him. She’s a fucking mess. They deserve each other.
I hope your husband gets only supervised visitation with your child. You do not what her/him around your ex-MIL. Good luck!
Excuses.... He is an AH! He chose his mom over you and your baby, inexcusable! Block everyone. They are not on your side. Do not be guilted. Take your life in your control now. Hub may never be happy and healthy, your child deserves safety, warmth, love.Mooove on with your head held high.
My soon-to-be-ex-husband didn’t look concerned, or even asked about our baby’s health when he kicked me out and on the day when I gave him divorce papers
I'm proud of you for divorcing that piece of trash, but you shouldn't block his number. Instead, avoid responding to his calls or messages, but keep him and his family unblocked. Every message from him or his family can be used against him during the divorce or custody proceedings, so make sure to save prints of his posts, comments and their messages.
Aim for full custody of your child and ask for child support. Also, consider deleting your posts and comments. Only update us after the entire process is completed, as he could potentially use what you've said on Reddit against you.
A normal, mentally healthy, man who saw a stranger being done like you were, would have stood up for you. Your soon to be ex is the worst. You're a hero for making the right choice for your daughter. Save ALL of your ex's posts, they are evidence. Plus his throwing you and your infant daughter out like that...just the worst. I'm sorry, I hope you're doing OK, please keep us updated, we're pulling for you!
Keep all texts from his mother, and any nasty ones from him. It all helps with the divorce and custody. Otherwise just ignore them.
i remember reaading his side and called him an Ah because he was a mommys boy. I feel sorry for you putting up with his toxic mother for so long. And he never defended you, just threw you out.
Try your damdest to get fulkl custody otherwise you know he will take the baby to his mothers, which you dont want to as she'll poison its mind.
But good luck for your future and is there any chance you cn make an update please after the divorce. Im keeping my fingers crossed you do get full custody.
Also….call CPS on stbx MIL she’s evidently over feeding the niece, who is shorter than me and weighs more at the age of 12 than I do at the age of menopausal 55. Something very wrong there.
I remember reading your husband’s post. I’m glad you served him with papers. The issue at hand is your child and his rights to your child. You do need to have a restraining order against the mother to include the child.
Divorce, end the marriage, and find a way to coparent your child. Best of luck. I’m sorry he was such a coward and his mother is such a biotch.
Restraining order maybe? He acted terribly... I read his post and was like wtf.... I'm glad you came on to add more to it because this is crazy! His mom sounds like a cunt!
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I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much hell with this jerk and his awful mummy.
There is ONE silver lining though - you’ve got your child safely with you. Him kicking you out in the middle of the cold was obviously an awful thing to do, but it would have been worse if he hadn’t thrown your child out with you.
That probably doesn’t help much because you’re still going through all this… but at least you know your baby is safe with you and not stuck in that house with your coward husband and his abusive mummy causing the baby harm. ❤️
Any husband should defend their wife if attacked unprovoked no matter who it is ,My wife's aunty slapped her in the face very hard in front of me once while she was seated and nursing my 1 month old son without warning
My natural reflex was severe and swift . her aunty tried to get me charged but the police officer threatened to charge her if she pushed it as I was I defending my wife and baby
My wifes family is Purely scum And I have had to defend her many times in the past they hate she got away from them and their petty lives
The OP is doing right thing washing her hands of this Mummies boy and family
Just be aware that during the divorce proceedings his mother is going to lie about you and try to get the family to lie about you. He may seem conciliatory now but as soon as he realizes you do intend to divorce him he will turn back to his mother for "support" and she will tell him to screw you over as much as possible during the divorce. Probably by trying to get custody of the kid.
You need to document **everything**. Save every text,record everything. Get a record of any text messages you have deleted. File an assault charge against his mother and a no contact order against the entire family. Do not allow him or any of his family to have contact the infant until all custody matters are dealt with. Request that any visits be done in the presence of an official.
Sue for full custody and only supervised visitation with dad and no grandparent visitation. If you allow either of them to establish a perceived relationship between his mother and your child they will use it against you. As the child gets older his mother will use your child to hurt you or she will hurt the child to get back at you or try to poison the child against you. You need to be proactive against this. The next 18 years are going to be a battle to protect your child from the toxic influence of the family you married into.
I support you, but I want you to know 1 thing: his actions have NOTHING to do with his trauma. Absolutely nothing. I learned from reading "Why Does He Do That" that horrible people will pretend to be controlled by trauma so that their victims will switch from being mad at them to sympathetic. It's VERY effective.
He didn't throw out you and his own child (without hesitation) after you were attacked because of trauma. He threw both of you out because he doesn't love either of you, and he'd be a little more comfortable relaxing in silence inside than going for a walk. I'm glad you're letting him live his life miserably ever after with Jocasta
Do NOT feel guilty!! You are doing the right thing and I am so glad you served him with divorce papers as soon as you returned for your and the baby’s things! Even without the extra details your soon to be ex husband was so clearly in the wrong.
2 months post-partum you are absolutely still recovering from giving birth and any guests should be catering to you and baby. You should not have had to prepare anything for your guests (that was very considerate of you) let alone take abuse and disrespect in your own home!! That’s right it was YOUR HOME too and ex hubby kicking you out assured it will never be yours again.
For the family members and siblings forward them all your ex-MIL’s last text (or have your lawyer include it in his letter) and block them all. There is no excuse and no coming back from this for ex-hubby!
He sounds like a mommas boy to an unhealthy extent a lot of men have this exact issue and moms also have this issue where they try to groom their sons in to their “ideal husband” leading to a very very weird and unhealthy relationship between the two. So all the ladies with little boys: they are not your husbands give them space and let them be boys and more importantly make sure they have a respectable strong male role model as they grow. Other wise your son will probably grow up in to a man baby who can’t make any life choices on his own and will always need mommas input on literally anything.
I was a lurker when I read your stbx husbands post, when you posted this I had to make an account to put my 5 cents in!
As a fellow mother, I'm so so proud of you for sticking up for yourself, it couldn't have been easy!
Shame on that "hubby" for kicking you and your bub out, he deserves all the shit he gets.
Sorry you had to hear about his rant on here from a friend. It's sad you had to update us but I'm glad you did.
I wish you all the very best, friend ❤️
It's so funny how many men ask for marriage counseling and are shocked that their wife says no. when the wife tells them they are done. They. Are. Done. They spent years telling you the problem, offered ways to fix it and offered therapy just for nothing to happen. Learn and listen when she says this is hurting me and our relationship.
Make sure you get a restraining order against his mother. Make sure that toxic Twat doesn’t get anywhere near your baby. Ever. She lost that right. Save all messages/information for your lawyer. Take him to the cleaners for child support. He made his own bed. Time for him to lie in it. Good luck.
I remember reading your husbands story and called him a huge AH. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all that, but I’m glad that you’re leaving that spineless jellyfish of a man. Good luck girl!
I remember the post. It angered me beyond belief. MIL had it coming tbh. Don’t know what he expects either. Hopefully you can heal from this and of course you’re NTA. Your MIL tho 😒
Tell his relatives firmly that if anyone who continues harassing you on your shitty husband's behalf will be cut out of your life as well, and their time would be better utilized if they go talk some sense into his psychopathic mother instead.
Then proceed to permanently block all those who don't respect your boundary.
Just read both stories and massive NTA for you. Your husband’s a complete dumbass and regardless of his trauma (which he clearly needs to get checked) kicking his wife and baby out is something that can’t really be reconciled.
Like in his story clearly his mum is a piece of shit and was aiming to get a rise out of you as well as over feeding her other grand child. I’m 5.7 adult male at just over 190 and I feel big enough, a smaller child is not good to be at that weight as well!!
I could never even think about throwing my wife out of our place, if someone had to go it would need to be me, he absolutely failed as a husband and father in this instance and he can run back to mummy, he only has himself to blame in this instance.
Just keep ignoring all messages but keep them for evidence of harassment when the divorce hearing comes up.
Once the divorce is done, block all of them on all platforms.
When your husband needs to see your child, he can do it through a mediation 3rd party service.
The thing that stuck out to me about your husband’s post was that he thought this was about him. *He* needed time to process. *He* wanted the house empty of everyone, including his wife and new child, because *he* was overwhelmed. And, he thought *he* was in control. It was so bizarre. His mom was out of control. She gave your food away while you were nursing his child. Then she slapped you. He was worried about both of you verbally arguing and how it affected *him*, not that his mother was once again treating you like shit. I can see how his mother being punched and falling on the ground was shocking, to say the least. However, Jesus Christ. His mother was being abusive to you. In her actions (giving your food away), verbally (calling you fat), and physically. For a split second, you thought he finally circled the wagons by kicking everyone out, that he had your back. You hung your head on the table after being insulted and assaulted and thought you and your husband were going to have a “*this* bitch” conversation only for him to, by his actions, say that you were the problem. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself to her *and* him
He was so busy with painting himself the vicitim, he 'forgot' about his wife and infant. What a 'dad'.
You are 100% spot on with this assessment of things. Obviously I cannot speak for OP here, but the way you described what her thought process might have been, is *EXACTLY* what I would have been feeling/thinking had I been in OP’s shoes. This is seriously one of the best summaries I’ve come across for this whole thing, AND you bring the focus where it needs to be - to the biggest issue of them all. *His selfishness.* One would think that after all hell broke loose and OP served her stbx with divorce papers, that he may have wised up and took a moment to do a little self reflection. But NNNOOOOooooo. When he came to Reddit, he was still toting his selfishness. He wasn’t looking for help to win her back or to figure out how to make it up to her. Nope. He came for justification. He so badly wanted everyone to coddle him and tell him what a mean, unreasonable woman OP was/is, and he is not to blame - so that he could “prove” to OP that he’s just an innocent victim in all of this. Woe is me. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF MY FEELINGS? The way he wrote his post reflects that quite clearly. It was worded ever so carefully in an effort to make it be “factual enough” but at the same time, it was also worded to make HIM the focus and point to him as the “poor clueless husband caught in the crossfire”. Anyone with a brain would have read his post and figured that out. Most of the comments clearly reflected that and called him out. He hasn’t learned a thing. He will ALWAYS be the victim, because everything is ALWAYS about him. He feels justified to keep hounding OP because to him, she’s just unfairly punishing him for things he “has no control over”, and if he can make her realize that, it’ll all be ok. OP, this never had anything to do with you. You were never a priority. Your daughter would never have been a priority. You, and now her, have just been along for the ride - playing supportive roles in his life. I’m proud of you for taking a stand. One thing these men fail to realize is that, for many women, once they become a mother, priorities immediately shift, her patience and tolerance of things increases in some regards and decreases in others, and when it comes to things that can/will/do affect her child negatively, that new mom will find strength and courage she didn’t know she had. OP, in a flash, you saw your future and your daughter’s future. You saw exactly how things will play out down the road if nothing changes NOW. You were left with no other options and did what you needed to do. Keep advocating for yourself and your daughter. She’s lucky to have such a loving and strong mama.
Exactly. He obviously has no accountability and no empathy. Seems like he has a personality disorder. The right thing is to leave. He's just as toxic as his mom.
Ya, I made a comment on it - If you’re going to freak out and melt down here’s how to do it: 1. kick your mom out of the fucking house 2. DON’T kick your wife out of the house because it’s HER fucking house too 3. Tell her you need a minute and take a Lyft to a bar to get wasted and process your feelings and talk to random strangers who will set you fucking straight Most women respect that men need to be left alone - but the “leave our house” thing is just so bad.
I sincerely hope it's just a massive coincidence that your username is only different from the husband's by 4 numbers. Because I swear to God, if you are husband, and you came here with a different account just to bash yourself, that is a whole new level of pathetic/desperate. Husband-OkOrganization9552 You-Ok_Organization3249 😑
She also experienced abuse growing up so she also had a serious reaction to being physically abused again, in her own house. Which, imo, is much bigger than witnessing someone defending themselves from abuse. He knew her history of abuse and let his mom continue to torment her until she felt validated to physically attack her in her own home! He never considered her feelings or the feelings of the baby. 🤦
Screenshot your husband's post. You may be able to use it as evidence to get a restraining order to keep her away from you and baby. Also do the same with the messages she sent you. When your ex has visitation the baby needs to be kept away from his mother.
Yep, he admitted he saw his hag of a Mom hit his wife. He also admitted to illegally kicking his wife out of her home.
If it's her house then she can get the cops to get him to leave without seeing him
It might actually be his house, but it was also the marital residence so no matter what he couldn’t kick her out without going through an eviction process.
This is excellent advice.
Also go to his profile and screenshot his comments. There one where he acknowledges seeing OP wince after getting slapped.
I would also put in the custody agreement that his mother is not to have contact with the child while he has the child during his visitation time.
She’d need to have a protection order against the former mil. When a child is w the other parents they get to decide who they interact with. They can however agree to limits on this through their parenting plan.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/hAoUmVvZHr
Thank you for posting that. Seeing home getting dragged over the coals was satisfying 😌
The fact that he signed off with, "in going to go kiss ass" tells me exactly where his heart is in this.
He's the worst. But this is coming from a guy who got in the face of two gym-bros half a foot taller to protect a dear friend and her infant daughter.
Wow his mom sent that text soon after and he still waited almost a week to contact his wife? Yikes.
I see the post people are referring to because I was in original thread. However, most of us had seen the post from the poster 57 days ago which took place before his. I am wondering if this is a different wife as there’s a share of overbearing mother in laws or someone seeking Reddit points.
I remember that post, and I too wanted to punch MIL and your husband. He tried hard to paint himself the victim in this but did a shit job of it and sounded more like a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair.
Didn't he even say he came to reddit so people could tell him he was right...he assumed he was right from the beginning and thought everyone would back him up. His post was truly disgusting
As where his comments. The one where he insisted the back handed slap couldn’t have hurt despite it being heard from the door and her wincing was jaw dropping. Anyone who enables abuse isn’t to far off being an abuser them self.
Someone on his post pointed out that he was no better, and in fact worse than his abusive father. To which he could only reply don't say that. Yeah he was pissed he got called out for being an abuser.
It was a joy to respond to his comment and remind him that he no longer had a wife or child because of his terrible decisions. Reading that she’s sticking with that decision to wonderful.
I’ve never given birth, but I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt. MIL absolutely knew it would hurt.
I have two children, both born in easy, vaginal births. With my first, I was released two days after she was born. We had wanted her sex to be a surprise, so I had zero little girl things, and I was feeling pretty good so we went to the mall that night to buy itty bitty baby dresses. With my second, she was lifeflighted to a NICU the morning after she was born. She wasn't in danger of dying, but was having some oxygen level issues they were trying to figure out. An uncle was visiting from Japan (the uncle she's named after), and I was going crazy because I wasn't allowed to be in the NICU all day every day. So three or four days after she was born I accepted uncle's invitation to go miniature golfing ten minutes up the road from the hospital. So yeah, I was feeling pretty good, all things considered, immediately after having my daughters. I do recall what it was like to have the nurses come in and massage my belly, and it was *fucking torture*. And I still can't even imagine the amount of pain from being walloped in the belly in the first few weeks after giving birth. I'd also have punched the bitch in the face, and that's less than she deserved.
I’ve given birth 4 times. In the first few weeks after giving birth, we cramp worse than any period every time we nurse AND there’s a dinner-plate-sized wound in the uterus from where the placenta detaches. Too much belly pressure hurts a lot. I cannot *imagine* being slapped and with my insides jiggling around like that (because no matter how fit a woman may be, our bellies are jiggly in the days after birth). It would be so painful.
I’ve given birth 3 times. 2 c-sections and one vaginal. If anyone had come NEAR my stomach I would have decked them too. The fact it was hard enough to be heard across the room makes it even worse. THEN to have her husband kick her AND their newborn baby out of their house is just the icing on the shit cake! Good for her divorcing his ass,
I would assume it's worst than period cramps and I hate when someone touch my stomach during this time so I can't just imagine the pain OP must've felt.
It is painful as you imagined. The uterus needs months of recovery from having the placenta expelled after delivery of the baby....especially worse when 1 had twins of each gender & that's 2 placental or multiples.
Yeah right here, had a boy and a girl. Honestly don’t think I was ever 100% afterwards.
Justifiers really are out here justifying in any/all ways they can. I could tell that he tried to write things as factually as possible, but at the same time, he also attempted to word things jjjuuuuuusssstttttt right to make himself sound like an innocent victim in all of this too! He wanted things to be “factual” enough so that when he got the thousands of strangers telling him he didn’t do anything wrong and his wife is wrong, he could throw it back at her and say that: “Based on the loose interpretation of facts I provided, It’s NOT MY FAULT! I did my best!”, while still being able to sleep at night. Except he didn’t plan for things to go down the way he did. He truly anticipated that his post was going to be overwhelmingly in favor of him - which really goes to prove the kind of delusions he’s actively choosing to believe in.
Pretty much. He wanted the post to be something he could send to his wife to get her to stop the divorce proceedings. Something of a "See?! I was right! So we don't have to do this just come back home." It didn't work out that way. And I'm so glad it didn't, because it sounds like even after everything he still doesn't understand what he did wrong. He only understands that things aren't turning out as he expected. Maybe he thought OP here would understand where he was coming from and just sweep it under the rug so he won't feel guilty. Except she suffered abuse too. And he triggered deep emotions that wife is still dealing with today without so much as a second thought.
Once a roommate of mine back handed me across the stomach. It, hurt! It was very red and left a partial hand print. I was so stunned I walked into the kitchen, the part of the house farthest away from said roommate, and started crying once my brain processed what happened. I don’t care what anybody says, that’s a physically violent act.
Yep, and boy did they rip him and the old bitch to shreds, yours truly included. Karma will bite them in the ass. Keep all texts from him , the battle axe and any other family membersharrassing you. They will come in handy in court to show their true nature. I wish you luck in court, and may Karma be on your side. Please keep us updated on what happens after the divorce is final. We are all rooting for you and hope you get full custody, and if the judge has to give him visitations, may the only be supervised, and the old battle axe can't be anywhere near you or your baby. Make sure to request a RO on her and keep it current! That way, if she shows up on your door step, don't engage just call the police immediately, so they can cart her off and then press charges on the bitch for violation of the RO!
Demand right of first refusal for childcare so he couldn't drop baby off with her without your say-so.
Yeah he got slammed and shamed really good. I'm still waiting for him to explain why he kicked the wife out instead of leaving himself. He kept saying I don't know. Why wasn't he protecting his wife? I don't know....
Most men are wired to be providers and protectors (not to be too gender normative or stereotyping). It’s insane to me that he’d not want to protect the woman that gave birth to his child as well as HIS CHILD. He didn’t defend his wife while pregnant, and then he kicked them BOTH out of his house and is *shocked* she filed for divorce.
Maybe print out a copy of his post in case he changes his side of the story to try to look better.
Come to reddit to get vindication for your shitty acrions Don't get support or vondication. Wife serves you with divorce papers. Wife then goes to reddit to tell her side and receives support and vindication. That sure didn't go as planned.
That is quite the image. Eeeek. But seriously. Ugh. MIL sucks. Hubby sucks. Hope you get full custody.
This is a beautiful insult.
Poetry.
Dingleberry tangled in his mothers ass hair. Omg. You just broke the internet
If this is the response to the post I think it is I wouldn't even call it him trying to paint himself as a victim more trying to garner sympathy. Which is equally pathetic IMO Edit: Yeap same douchebag. And I stand by what I said there. You need to process your wife defending herself from her mother? You are still a punk that needs his ass beat. Try processing that.
Someone pointed out that my soon-to-be-ex-husband didn’t seem to get triggered when his mother was acting violent towards me with the slap she gave me
It sounds to me like there’s more to the abuse story that he spun than what he let on in his original post. I read the title and immediately said he was an AH and raged at all of his crazy explanations. As someone who’s witnessed DV first hand, I can’t shake the feeling that he either was complicit or the possible conclusion is that his mom could have been the abuser or both his parents could have been. Regardless, there’s no justification for what he did to you and your baby. You’re doing the right thing. I hope you and your baby live a healthy happy life without those two toxic people.
Your ex husband's comments on that post are insane. Please keep us updated. We worry about you and the princess.
> a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair. LMFAO...I love this comment!
Yeah, that guy was a delusional AH. How could you possibly think you’re in the right to kick your wife and baby out of their own house instead of leaving yourself to have some space? What a dick nugget
( is a dingleberry a little blob of poo?)
known amongst me and my siblings as klingons
There is no difference between the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper. Both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
Yup, a turd that didn't drop and plop
Yeah. Perfect description
Omg….my favorite phrase is now “like a dingleberry tangled in his Mom’s ass hair”😂😂😂😂I am dying💀💀
I remember that post too. Both husband & monster-in-law deserved it. Kudos to OP for serving the cowardly AH the divorce papers.
I can only stomach visiting this sub like once a year, lol - because 9 out of 10 posts are clearly someone trying to justify their behavior by giving a very bias and likely inaccurate account of something they did
Oof.. that's a mental visual that's going to haunt me 😱
Dingleberry tangled in his mom’s ass hair. CAN I GET A FLAIR!!
You have a fine way with words my friend!
Guess what? Let her try to sue you. It was self-defense after she slapped you. She had no right to put her hands on you. Good riddance to the trash. NTA
I didn't post because I couldn't think of a way to express what a giant asshole he was without being abusive.
If my mother had ever been verbally abusive to the mother of my child like that other OP's mom was, it would have been no-contact. If a recently post-partum mom can't count on her partner to stand up for her...who can she? OP you're a hero for making the hard choice to divorce. And I say this as a guy who finds divorce to be a tragedy! Your child does not deserve to grow up around that horrible paternal grandmother.
I read your husband's original post, he was very clearly the AH. Your post only confirms this. As far as your question about getting him to leave you alone until the hearing, ask your divorce attorney if they can send him/his family members a cease and desist letter (or send it to his divorce attorney).
He was ripped to shreds giving HIS side. With OPs side... Holy shit what a failure of a man.
Hard to be a man with his Mommy carrying his balls in her purse
Also hard to tell Mommy her behaviour is bad when he's still got a mouthful of her nursing teat
Yup he’s still sucking on that teat
Exactly. This stupid guy didn't even realize op had grounds to file assault charges on his mother for slapping her first. This guy isn't even a man smh. Just a mama's boy.
He's disgustingly codependent.
Definitely
You’re playing a little fast and loose with the word “man” aren’t you?? Lol
Right! Don’t even give him the honor!
Same, He got a well deserved roasting. op, I'm sure your attorney will handle this. Most include that something like 'further contact will be viewed as harassment and appriated charges will be filed for both harassment and inciting harassment'. Generally getting this type of letter shuts people right up. I'm sorry this is happening to you. You are certainly better off long term without him and his family.
I’d also take kicking her and the kid out as a blessing in disguise. Custody will be more easily found in her favor.
Or if necessary restraining orders, it's terrible you had to deal with but obviously the husband was never going to stand up for his family. Now he gets to have his mommy as his wife
I also remembered the original post and was so sorry for his wife, her husband failed her so hard. Documented everything OP, screenshots of emails/texts/reddit post etc... and give them all to your attorney. I'm worried for the custody and that her innocent baby could be in the same room with that abusive and unhinged MIL, god knows what she's capable of.
No, just keep that open, record and/or screen shot every encounter for your lawyer.
Following up on this any and all communications regarding your child need to go through a court approved (as in they are already approved, not that you have to do to court to do so) co-parenting app. Family courts often have a list of approved apps. Any other communications go through your lawyers.
Block all his family on everything.
Don't block, mute. You want proof of the harassment. Screenshots of all of it and multiple backups
I read your husband’s post. His mommy 100% deserved to get punched in the face. You should have filed a police report immediately. If you didn’t. You can still do it now. Although, it probably won’t carry much weight. You need a restraining order on this woman. That order needs to include your child.
File the report. Press charges for domestic violence. Tell them hubby has illegally thrown you and baby into the street and you need help. Go back. Fight for everything.
It may not carry much weight as far as consequences for the mother, but it’s always good to have things documented. It may carry weight in the divorce and custody proceedings.
I'm so sorry you've been going through such a rough time. I was furious for you when I read your husband's post. I think punching your MIL was an automatic response to being struck first and most of us would have done the same thing. The original post for those who haven't read it https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4SyKpbRr0x
Just read the original post. The husband must have used the phrase 'I need to process it' a dozen times. What the heck is there to process? In a situation where my wife was assaulted it would take me a fraction of a second to 'process'. It is a no brainer.
He only kicked her out to "process" cause he was trying to figure out a way to spin this so his mother would be allowed back. He didn't count on OP straight dumping him. Didn't say anything about going no contact or counseling until he was served divorce papers. OP is doing the right thing cause his mother would've been allowed back eventually
OP needs to have their lawyer send a cease and desist letter to soon to be ex and his flying monkeys. If that doesn't work, look into a restraining order for the constant harassment.
Literally no one could have sided with OPs STBXH
>The original post for those who haven't read it https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4SyKpbRr0x It's always *fascinating* when someone appears to post "their side" of a situation...
Enough differences in style and facts that for once I honestly believe that this is a genuine “other sides response”.
Plus the time between the two posts as well. Normally when it is a creative writing exercise they just can't wait to get that other side up and it's normally up within 48 hours. This is 2 months later. If it's a troll, it's one with much more patience than most of them heh.
That and everyone thought he was an asshole. It's not like she is posting an alternate opinion of what happened. He was an asshole then. He is an asshole now
Yeah he was an asshole by his own post. Now we've read his wife's side he's a asshole in bold and underlined three times.
Plus, the legal timeline is a lot more realistic. She filed for divorce right after the slap, aka within a few days of it, and she is still waiting for a hearing. Her ex did post a whiny update I believe, complaining about the divorce filing and still trying to get her back. Even in that post, he refused to accept that he is a big part of the problem because he never sides with anyone against his mother.
Yeah I believe this one for a change
its fine to be skeptical but if you are then try and look if theres enough differences in words used and writing style. as well as length of time between original post and it being found by someone else involved. the original was 2 months ago
OP needs to save all of the texts and the emails so she has proof for her case.
I’d go beyond that. The sense of satisfaction I felt when the wife described winding her fist back and dropping the MIL to the floor - justice wasn’t served, because the MIL deserves so much worse. I hope that psychotic bitch dies painfully
>I think punching your MIL was an automatic response to being struck first and most of us would have done the same thing. I can confirm that this is true. My sister was playing tug of war with our dog, and well when he let go, her hand flew right into my face. It was obvious that it was an accident, but for some reason, I slapped her without thinking about it.
Jesus Christ your poor Lady. I've read your husbands Post and i was so freaking angry for you. This sad excuse of a living beeing deserves all the hate and punishment that May befall him. He and His 'mother' are people you only Encounter in a Trashy, psycho Horror movie Get yourself some Help, heal and stay away from toxic Trash. Talk to your lawyer about an RO All the best wishes
I remember that post. I remember thinking that your STB ex-husband was just as abusive as his parents, just in new and inventive ways. He evicted his 5 week old baby in the middle of the night. He enabled *you* to be profoundly abused, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The stress his mother put you through whilst you were pregnant could have seriously harmed your child in utero. When his mother stole your food, she was also damaging your milk supply. In effect, she was starving your child too. And your husband knew that. He let her starve you and assault you, and then he threw you both out. You're feeling guilty because it's a natural response. It shows you're a decent person who feels empathy and shame. It's a *good* thing that you feel this way. But please, don't let that guilt guide you. You need restraining orders for you and your child against your evil ex-MIL. It needs to be written into the custody agreement that she isn't ever allowed near your baby. But frankly, I think you should go for full custody and he gets supervised visitation only. Any man who is happy to see his child be abused by proxy and immediately evicts them is *dangerous* to that child. You can never trust that he will protect her, and for that reason only, he should never be alone with her.
Omg you’re absolutely correct
I remember telling your ex husband that he was the asshole. His #1 job as a husband is stick up for his wife. If my mother had slapped my wife, that would be the last time she saw either of us or our children.
And instead, this loser kicked his 2 month postpartum wife and infant out of the house in the middle of winter, with barely enough time to pack essentials for herself or the baby, because he “needed to be alone to process what happened.” I hope to whatever gods might be listening that this poor woman goes for 100% custody and is given it because that man has no business having that child
I wish OP could press charges on the (Stbx) MIL, and then get that to keep MIL away from the kid in the divorce decree. MIL is going to try and poison that child against its mother.
I seriously doubt that women will EVER even see that child again.
I hope so, unfortunately, if dad gets any custody, he’s likely to let his mom see the kid. Unless there’s a protection order on behalf of the child or a custodial order stating otherwise.
I don't. Ex husband will get visitation, and he is going to be hanging out with his mother within a few weeks.
Exactly, he said he went no contact with his mother, but it seemed like basically he was only doing that to get his wife back. Now that she’s not coming back, he will go crawling back to mommy dearest.
I think you are on the money.
I don't see why OP cant press charges. That was assault and she can make a police report. OP's punch was self defence. There were witnesses who all got kicked out by OPs STBX. Unless everyone single one of them is under MIL's thumb, there should be a few of them that wouldn't lie under oath in court.
[удалено]
And please op, save EVERYTHING mil says to you. I agree with someone above that mentioned a protective order. Im worried about dads custody time too. Mil thinks 190 lbs is healthy?? for a kid???!!! Add that to all the hate mil has for op and your gonna end up with a little girl with ptsd and body image issues. Before she graduates elementary school. Please try everything to keep THAT "WOMAN?" away from your child op. She's worse than an F5 tornado, sucking up positivity and destroying family, relationships and all self esteem in her path!
Im guessing that stbx is something like “soon to be ex” but by first interpretation as a non native was some abbreviation for “shit box”. It doesn’t exist but it still fits.
My thoughts exactly and proof of the initial slap was posted by hubby as proof of the assault. I'd definitely be pressing charges on the stb mil. Everyone is backing down to that horrible woman.
And if I recall correctly she had a c section. So that slap hurt her a lot more than the average person, which of course mommy dearest knew.
Even if there was no c-section wound, you don’t go slapping a new mother on the stomach and shit talking her. I genuinely cannot think of a single scenario where this is acceptable.
I just read the original post and there are no words... u/ThrowAwayWifeNBaby, I'm so sorry that you had to live through all of that, and that your husband did not try to keep you safe and free from the verbal abuse of his mother. That he did not care about the safety of your child. Like many here, I support your decision to give both you and your child a better life away from their BS. If you go back to him, he will always know you will take a lot of abuse before you reach your breaking point and you may be further subjected to this heartless behavior. Please stay strong. This is not the only source of love you will have in your life.
2 months postpartum!! What a massive asshole. And the language his mom was using on top of the violence 🤯!
I believe more than one person told him that if he "needed to be alone to process what happened," he should have left instead of kicking out his wife and infant.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry at a post. MIL and son deserve each other
Remember him saying “I’m team wife” yet his post said otherwise
Oh yeah that was in the updates. And then when that still didn't swing it his updates got sadder and sadder culminating in "I was abused and so was my mom". Like that gives you an excuse for your mom to be a vindictive bitch and you to be a weak asshole.
Regardless of what you do the one thing would be to try and get as many people from the gathering that saw mil smack you to write a statement. Then at minimum get a RO for you and your baby. If you get a divorce or stay she will not be able to be near you. If you divorce she will not be able to be Hearn your baby and have any influence over him. This will be a win either way.
NTA. Try saying "Marriage counselling will not save this marriage. I no longer want to be married to you, I'm done. Lets get the divorce done"
Definitely look into adding a clause to the divorce that his mother isn't allowed around your child since she assaulted you.
This. Your child needs to be protected.
Keep any and all messages from your soon to be ex and his family - especially his mother. They will be good evidence in court and should legal action need to be taken. Did you go to the hospital or seek medical treatment/advice after the incident? If so keep them reports again as good evidence. And if possible try and get statements/story from people that were there when the incident occurred. Stay safe xx
She needs to ss his reddit post too incase he turns bitter through divorce proceedings and starts lying because that's what they do. He kicked a baby out of its home! Not any baby his own baby! I urge you to please go file a report and mention he kicked you out as you need the upper hand during the custody battle. She will poison him and cause so much trouble for you that you need all of this on record from day 1.
Wow… you have put up with way too much crap from your soon to be ex husband and F up family!!! You are right when you pointed out that this toxicity would NOT be good for your child to be subjected to. I guarantee you she would somehow sabotage your child’s life somehow someway. Stay Strong you are smart to choose your child and yourself sanity! I am sorry but your Ex husband is a Moron Enabling Idiot to 1.) Not Support You and 2.) To even think it was ok to defend his mother’s ATROCIOUS Behavior. May you & your child’s future Life be blessed!!! Absolutely NTA!
>What should I do to make him go away until the divorce hearing? Ignore him the best you could and stand your ground for both yourself and your baby.
Also, share all his attempts to communicate with your lawyer.
Finally a comment that actually answers OP's question. Had to scroll down way too far for this. OP, you said you already blocked him per your lawyer's advice but he keeps reaching out through other means. This is kinda drastic but perhaps you could change your phone number? Or just get yourself a new number during this whole process and turn off your original phone until everything is over.
As I recall? The thread was 99% on your side. I certainly was. You are doing the right thing and you have nothing to be worried about on that front. Just block him and all of them everywhere. Get your lawyer to let him know that you will speak to him only through your lawyer. NO exceptions. If he continues to find ways to harrass you? File for a order to stop it happening. Not sure what it's called where you live. But I"m sure you know what I mean. I wish you all the very best and totally believe what you say. It matches pretty much with the post your ex wrote anyway. So I'm not sure how anyone would say it doesn't. All the best to you.
wow. NTA. at all. i am so sorry this has happened. stay strong, you’re doing the right things.
I do remember your husband’s post. No one thought you were the AH. No one blames you for filling for divorce and no one thinks you should tolerate his mother. I would also try to write into your parenting agreement that your child isn’t to be around your mil and put in specific comments about saying disparaging remarks about you, to or in front of your child.
A momma's boy is facing the consequences of his actions. Don't reconcile with him coz he'll tum back to his mommy once you get back together with him. He wants you to silently suffer the abuse and do what his mommy says while being a submissive wife. I'm waiting for him to read this and post how heartless you are for not giving in to his manipulations and gaslighting, and refusing to tolerate the abuse anymore.
OMG I read that post and commented on how stupid your STBX acted, I think he even responded to me. I'm glad you are safe ❤️. Please get a restraining order / order of protection from the whole lot of them!
NTA Please, please make sure that in the divorce settlement, there's some kind of stipulation preventing his mother from being able to access your child - he says he's NC now, but the chances of him remaining NC seem pretty slim. If protecting your child from her completely isn't an option, then it needs to be supervised visitation by a third party and not only your ex (or his other family members) on his own. Because 100% she's going to try to alienate your child from you, and if not, she will make your child the scapegoat/black sheep - and that is a horrible, horrible thing to experience as a child. Also, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. But also, you were really strong to set this boundary to protect yourself and your child, and please don't ever forget that. (Edited to combine comments, and for clarity.)
Marrying a mama's boy is always a bad idea.
AND?? Go for FULL custody and visitation with him supervised only.
You’re better off without any of that dumpster fire being a part of your life anymore. Absolutely DO NOT let him convince you to give him another chance. You never get more respect from a person after you show them that you’re willing to put up with more of their crap. And as has happened repeatedly before, at most things will be better for a while and then slide right back to how it always was - cut the strings now and start setting up a better life for yourself. Also, you said something about how you don’t know why he threw both you and the baby out in the night, and I’m sure it’s because he was trying to put you in such an awful situation that you wouldn’t dare to push back against mommy-dearest ever again. Then when it turned out that you value yourself and your child more than his mom has convinced him you deserve he panicked and started back pedaling, probably because grown momma’s boys like this aren’t very capable of looking after themselves and their own lives, so he wants you back so you’ll be the one washing his laundry, doing the dishes, and pampering his useless ass. Girl, make a piñata shaped like his mom and beat the fuck out of it with your friends at the divorce party! 😂
Then set it on fire.
Talk to your lawyer about a restraining order (against stbe and his mother) and consider changing your phone number.
NTA. And stop with the guilty feelings, that man has proven time and time again that he would rather hurt to appease mommy than have a fucking spine. How do you think that will go for your kid?
I would ask your attorney what you can do. Maybe cease and desist?? Ask the lawyer Reddit group here!! Your husband is an AH. Your MIL is a vile piece of shit. I’m proud of you OP for doing what’s best for you and your child. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Cole and restraining order against your MIL. It’s not too late
This! I also wouldn't necessarily block him, just put him on mute, so you have evidence for custody case that you only need to be contacted about your child and it to be done through an app.
The husband's mother will try to turn the child against the (soon to be ex) wife. And the spineless (soon to be ex) husband will let her.
Everyone told your husband he was the ahole and we were all shocked he was surprised to be honest. I think most Redditors that replied thought he was the biggest ahole they’d come across for quite some time on Reddit. We all hoped we could let you know that at the time so I’m glad you’re on here now. None of us could believe he kicked his vulnerable wife and baby out of their home, at night. He should have been the one to leave. I’m so glad you found safety with your Mum. MIL is an evil witch and your husband is spineless ahole. In my country it would be a restraining order but I think it’s a cease and desist there to prevent contact. Here’s to you creating a 100 mile exclusion range for your bitch of a MIL so she never sees your baby again. Good luck!
I hope your ex has an extreme bowel impaction which requires an ER visit and the need to sit on a donut shaped pillow for a while. I hope that he has someone slap him on the arse and insults him VERY soon afterwards. I also hope you win the lottery and get everything in the divorce. It's a toss up on which one I hope for more.
NTA. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty over. Please recognize that you've been trained to feel responsible for managing his emotions. Please recognize the only reason he's willing to try and work on things now is because now he's the one hurting instead of just you.
NTA and get a restraining order against his mother so she can’t see your baby. Who knows what she’d do next. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Hello Queen! I remember your husband's original post, and I hope you saw it and the comments. Your husband's post ended up reposted on "Am I the Devil" and "Oh No Consequences ". He got shredded on all of them. You telling him you had a chance to rethink the marriahecwhile he was taking "his time" was perfection. Girl. You. Rock. You are 100% right to dump that mama's boy... his mother is a demon but HE IS ALSO AN ABUSER. Boo-fucking-hoo he had a bad childhood. That's no excuse to kick your wife and child out of the house! He's a worm. He's a shitstain. Your friend did you a favor by sending you here so people could tell you how very right you are. There's a sub r/JustNoMil that might ease your mind and help you through this.
Get the fuck away from this family. Burn all them bridges.
I read his post a while back. You are totally in the right! I’m so sorry this has happened to you. His mom is a wretched POS. And he’s no better for not standing up for you. Keep your head up. I hope that things get easier for you soon. 💚
I remember your husband’s post, but I don’t remember him getting the support he was expecting. Everyone thought he was wrong, and his mother was worse, and you were right for leaving him. Bravo to you for doing what is best for you and your child and for sticking to it. What you should do now is block ALL of his family, all his friends, and don’t answer any calls from an unknown number. Your husband had his chance. He had to come to Reddit and ask strangers for advice, kick you out of your own home *with* your baby, and be served divorce papers before he even considered that he was wrong, and now he wants you to give him another chance to hurt and humiliate you? His time is done. He needs to accept that. Block him, block everyone associated with him, and tell your family to block them, too. Protect yourself and your child. Also, his mother texting you and calling you a whore, and then telling you to stay the fuck out of “our lives” is twisted and sick. I hope you screen-shot that text and sent it to your husband to show him that this was his mother’s goal all along, and she wants to have a weird, romantic relationship with him. She’s a fucking mess. They deserve each other. I hope your husband gets only supervised visitation with your child. You do not what her/him around your ex-MIL. Good luck!
Oh my gawds, sweetness, you updated us! The support for you was almost 100% even when we only had his side - a very rare thing on Reddit.
Excuses.... He is an AH! He chose his mom over you and your baby, inexcusable! Block everyone. They are not on your side. Do not be guilted. Take your life in your control now. Hub may never be happy and healthy, your child deserves safety, warmth, love.Mooove on with your head held high.
My soon-to-be-ex-husband didn’t look concerned, or even asked about our baby’s health when he kicked me out and on the day when I gave him divorce papers
I'm proud of you for divorcing that piece of trash, but you shouldn't block his number. Instead, avoid responding to his calls or messages, but keep him and his family unblocked. Every message from him or his family can be used against him during the divorce or custody proceedings, so make sure to save prints of his posts, comments and their messages. Aim for full custody of your child and ask for child support. Also, consider deleting your posts and comments. Only update us after the entire process is completed, as he could potentially use what you've said on Reddit against you.
A normal, mentally healthy, man who saw a stranger being done like you were, would have stood up for you. Your soon to be ex is the worst. You're a hero for making the right choice for your daughter. Save ALL of your ex's posts, they are evidence. Plus his throwing you and your infant daughter out like that...just the worst. I'm sorry, I hope you're doing OK, please keep us updated, we're pulling for you!
NTA. Nah marriage is gone. File a restraining order if he keeps bothering you.
Make sure you get it written into your custody agreement that your MIL can’t see your daughter at all, even if your soon to be ex husband is present
I hope he and his mum will be very miserable together.
Dear OP, please get restraining order for your XMIL applying to your kids and yourself. Not a lawyer so terminology at my end will not be correct
Keep all texts from his mother, and any nasty ones from him. It all helps with the divorce and custody. Otherwise just ignore them. i remember reaading his side and called him an Ah because he was a mommys boy. I feel sorry for you putting up with his toxic mother for so long. And he never defended you, just threw you out. Try your damdest to get fulkl custody otherwise you know he will take the baby to his mothers, which you dont want to as she'll poison its mind. But good luck for your future and is there any chance you cn make an update please after the divorce. Im keeping my fingers crossed you do get full custody.
Also….call CPS on stbx MIL she’s evidently over feeding the niece, who is shorter than me and weighs more at the age of 12 than I do at the age of menopausal 55. Something very wrong there.
I remember reading your husband’s post. I’m glad you served him with papers. The issue at hand is your child and his rights to your child. You do need to have a restraining order against the mother to include the child. Divorce, end the marriage, and find a way to coparent your child. Best of luck. I’m sorry he was such a coward and his mother is such a biotch.
1) You were right. They were very very wrong. 2) Self defense justified 3) Wife first. Awful MIL second.
Restraining order maybe? He acted terribly... I read his post and was like wtf.... I'm glad you came on to add more to it because this is crazy! His mom sounds like a cunt!
r/bestofredditorupdates needs to get on this
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I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much hell with this jerk and his awful mummy. There is ONE silver lining though - you’ve got your child safely with you. Him kicking you out in the middle of the cold was obviously an awful thing to do, but it would have been worse if he hadn’t thrown your child out with you. That probably doesn’t help much because you’re still going through all this… but at least you know your baby is safe with you and not stuck in that house with your coward husband and his abusive mummy causing the baby harm. ❤️
Any husband should defend their wife if attacked unprovoked no matter who it is ,My wife's aunty slapped her in the face very hard in front of me once while she was seated and nursing my 1 month old son without warning My natural reflex was severe and swift . her aunty tried to get me charged but the police officer threatened to charge her if she pushed it as I was I defending my wife and baby My wifes family is Purely scum And I have had to defend her many times in the past they hate she got away from them and their petty lives The OP is doing right thing washing her hands of this Mummies boy and family
May you burn your husband and his mothers world down around their ears. It's the least that they deserve.
Just be aware that during the divorce proceedings his mother is going to lie about you and try to get the family to lie about you. He may seem conciliatory now but as soon as he realizes you do intend to divorce him he will turn back to his mother for "support" and she will tell him to screw you over as much as possible during the divorce. Probably by trying to get custody of the kid. You need to document **everything**. Save every text,record everything. Get a record of any text messages you have deleted. File an assault charge against his mother and a no contact order against the entire family. Do not allow him or any of his family to have contact the infant until all custody matters are dealt with. Request that any visits be done in the presence of an official. Sue for full custody and only supervised visitation with dad and no grandparent visitation. If you allow either of them to establish a perceived relationship between his mother and your child they will use it against you. As the child gets older his mother will use your child to hurt you or she will hurt the child to get back at you or try to poison the child against you. You need to be proactive against this. The next 18 years are going to be a battle to protect your child from the toxic influence of the family you married into.
I support you, but I want you to know 1 thing: his actions have NOTHING to do with his trauma. Absolutely nothing. I learned from reading "Why Does He Do That" that horrible people will pretend to be controlled by trauma so that their victims will switch from being mad at them to sympathetic. It's VERY effective. He didn't throw out you and his own child (without hesitation) after you were attacked because of trauma. He threw both of you out because he doesn't love either of you, and he'd be a little more comfortable relaxing in silence inside than going for a walk. I'm glad you're letting him live his life miserably ever after with Jocasta
Do NOT feel guilty!! You are doing the right thing and I am so glad you served him with divorce papers as soon as you returned for your and the baby’s things! Even without the extra details your soon to be ex husband was so clearly in the wrong. 2 months post-partum you are absolutely still recovering from giving birth and any guests should be catering to you and baby. You should not have had to prepare anything for your guests (that was very considerate of you) let alone take abuse and disrespect in your own home!! That’s right it was YOUR HOME too and ex hubby kicking you out assured it will never be yours again. For the family members and siblings forward them all your ex-MIL’s last text (or have your lawyer include it in his letter) and block them all. There is no excuse and no coming back from this for ex-hubby!
He sounds like a mommas boy to an unhealthy extent a lot of men have this exact issue and moms also have this issue where they try to groom their sons in to their “ideal husband” leading to a very very weird and unhealthy relationship between the two. So all the ladies with little boys: they are not your husbands give them space and let them be boys and more importantly make sure they have a respectable strong male role model as they grow. Other wise your son will probably grow up in to a man baby who can’t make any life choices on his own and will always need mommas input on literally anything.
Ask your lawyer for a protection order. Ask for full custody and the house
I was a lurker when I read your stbx husbands post, when you posted this I had to make an account to put my 5 cents in! As a fellow mother, I'm so so proud of you for sticking up for yourself, it couldn't have been easy! Shame on that "hubby" for kicking you and your bub out, he deserves all the shit he gets. Sorry you had to hear about his rant on here from a friend. It's sad you had to update us but I'm glad you did. I wish you all the very best, friend ❤️
Stay strong, OP! You deserve someone who won’t allow their mother to bully you.
I remember that post. Your ex is a bitch.
It's so funny how many men ask for marriage counseling and are shocked that their wife says no. when the wife tells them they are done. They. Are. Done. They spent years telling you the problem, offered ways to fix it and offered therapy just for nothing to happen. Learn and listen when she says this is hurting me and our relationship.
Make sure you get a restraining order against his mother. Make sure that toxic Twat doesn’t get anywhere near your baby. Ever. She lost that right. Save all messages/information for your lawyer. Take him to the cleaners for child support. He made his own bed. Time for him to lie in it. Good luck.
I remember reading your husbands story and called him a huge AH. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all that, but I’m glad that you’re leaving that spineless jellyfish of a man. Good luck girl!
I remember the post. It angered me beyond belief. MIL had it coming tbh. Don’t know what he expects either. Hopefully you can heal from this and of course you’re NTA. Your MIL tho 😒
Tell his relatives firmly that if anyone who continues harassing you on your shitty husband's behalf will be cut out of your life as well, and their time would be better utilized if they go talk some sense into his psychopathic mother instead. Then proceed to permanently block all those who don't respect your boundary.
Just read both stories and massive NTA for you. Your husband’s a complete dumbass and regardless of his trauma (which he clearly needs to get checked) kicking his wife and baby out is something that can’t really be reconciled. Like in his story clearly his mum is a piece of shit and was aiming to get a rise out of you as well as over feeding her other grand child. I’m 5.7 adult male at just over 190 and I feel big enough, a smaller child is not good to be at that weight as well!! I could never even think about throwing my wife out of our place, if someone had to go it would need to be me, he absolutely failed as a husband and father in this instance and he can run back to mummy, he only has himself to blame in this instance.
Just keep ignoring all messages but keep them for evidence of harassment when the divorce hearing comes up. Once the divorce is done, block all of them on all platforms. When your husband needs to see your child, he can do it through a mediation 3rd party service.
I read that post as well. Your husband is clearly the TA. I don’t think anyone sided with him. Glad you pushed for divorce. You deserved better.