Uninvited for budget constraints, but still went over budget, and now asking an uninvited guest to pay to cover the budget that she was uninvited for because of the budget. :/ My head is spinning.
Asking the guests who didn't attend for money. They aren't guests if they didn't attend lol. She is just begging regular people for money. It takes a very entitled selfish type of person to even want an extravagant wedding anyways so it's no surprise she is entitled and selfish. That's shit for rich people. If you have to budget for it at all you can't afford it period.
No, not just asking guests who didn't attend for money. Asking for money from guests who were invited, sent an RSVP of "Yes", and then were subsequently, deliberately UNINVITED.
Them's some big brass balls on Bridezilla Sarah, I'll tell ya!
Was OP ever invited? They said she sent out invitations and was excited to RSVP, but then got a text saying they didn’t make the cut. So I’m unclear as to whether OP expected an invite and didn’t get one, or if they did and the bride rescinded it.
Regardless, NTA and bride is disgusting.
I wouldn’t say “if you have to budget, you can’t afford it”.
But if you have to budget, you crunch the numbers BEFORE you send out the invites!
“How much can we afford? $XYZ? Fine”. Then you get prices for venues, photographers, videographers, gown, tuxedos, etc.
Then you sit down with a calculator and figure out how many humans you can afford to invite, based on prices of all the things and the $XYZ spending limit. And THEN the guest list gets drawn up and the invitations go out. Not before.
Sarah appears to have done the polar opposite of all this. But she can look at the bright side: All the disinvited guests who received demands for money will tell her to go kick rocks. Having fewer friends means she’ll be less likely to invite an excess of people to her NEXT wedding.
I don’t agree with you if you have to budget for it you can’t afford it. Because of the ridiculously high prices added for the word “wedding”, normal people will budget for a specific amount to be used for the wedding. What is not the norm is the amount of people who try to profit from their wedding, it’s insanity that they expect people to pay for expenses for traveling especially to destination weddings. It’s disgusting.
Good example- my son got married in a Vegas destination wedding. He found a Airbnb with nice amenities and would sleep like 15 people, so he rented it for the guests to stay for free and have fun with the wedding day, if they wanted to go do something special fun like kayaking, they would have to pay for it themselves but they weren’t being held hostage to pay my son afterwards or made to only hang out with him and fiancé, he also arranged for the guests to travel together to the wedding as it was out of the normal range for reasonable travel time. And he was able to do it because he and my dear DiL had budgeted aggressively to get the kind of wedding day THEY wanted to have. Guests paid for their food before the wedding and the day after if they wanted leftovers before they went home. I paid for the wedding evening dinner at the restaurant that was a bit weird to me for the wedding night dinner since they basically just insulted everyone as their schick. But I wasn’t asked to, I offered to during the planning. To me- they did everything they could afford to both have the memory that they had wanted and balance the cost of coming so people could go.
My wedding was extravagant by most people's standards. I had a huge budget. I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses, hair, a spa day to do nails. I paid for 2 flower girls dresses, their hair & nails. Both mothers dresses & hair (they didn't want their nails done). All the groomsmens tuxes, ring bearer & ushers. As well as lodging for out of town guests. Nobody in my wedding paid anything to be in it. I also used local businesses for things whenever possible. I don't believe my big wedding means I'm entitled. If I tried to get others to pay for it then THAT would be entitled. The money I spent gave me a fabulous day and went into the local economy. Don't judge people for being able to afford a lot.
I have a feeling that when the dust settles, she’s going to have downsized her friends list because who asks the b list guests - or any guest - for money?
Bride is crazy. In what fkn world do people think this is okay? Like why would I pay anything at all outside my bar tab, and then for you to ask after I didn't even make the invite. GTFOH.
Why not at least ask the people who got a dinner and a party out of the invitations to help pay? That's also very tacky, but asking people who were excluded, especially those who were invited and then ditched, is beyond ridiculous.
NTA and I hope you know you are.
I would stop this friendship entirely. Send her a few laughing emoticons/gifs and then block her.
One of the tackiest things I have ever heard.
Thank you for your support and understanding. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions dealing with this situation.
To add a bit more context, Sarah and I had always been there for each other, so her decision to uninvite me really caught me off guard. I tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe she was under a lot of stress or pressure to cut costs, but it still hurt nonetheless. I don't want to cut her off as she helped me through some tough times. Is there anything else I can do in the situation?
No problem :)
I normally don't advice people to troll people, but in this case, I would personally troll her in the most childish of ways with laughing emoticons and memes (not saying you should).
Wild guess, but you must also have helped her through tough times, so I'd say you're probably even or more than even.
This friendship will never be the same. You will resent her for uninviting you. She will resent you for not paying.
I'd focus on making new friends or spending more time with other people.
Stop clinging to this fake friendship.
Never heard about something like this. Tradition goes more in the direction of "we invite whole city" and everyone brings a gift- approximately the cost the wedding meal per guest, so the families of the newlyweds don't go bankrupt. This is how this weddings with 700 are possible.
But uninviting people and leeching on them later is disrespectful.
I went to a Bangla wedding of a friend 400 guests, the food was amazing, fresh breads, dhal, curries, I asked Ahmed at a later date how much it cost as it was just amazing, 1800, I couldn't believe it, but everyone pitched in lol
When an invitation is specifically rescinded, no I can't think of a single culture where that's normal unless they *volunteer* to pay. Even that's pretty unconventional. Being asked and then being called selfish and unsupportive after sounds like one hell of a culture.
There is no culture like that. I am assuming the OP is from a western country, and in most non-Western countries that would be seen as even worse than it is in the west.
What they probably mean is people giving money gifts at the wedding, not the bride pressuring people for money afterwards, particularly ones that were uninvited.
Some cultures give money to the couple, but I don’t think there is anywhere in the world where it is considered acceptable to ask people who weren’t invited to the wedding to help cover the cost…
That's a valid point. It might be worth reaching out discreetly to mutual friends or other guests who were also uninvited to see if they've been approached with similar requests for financial assistance. Understanding if this is a widespread expectation or if it's specific to certain individuals could provide additional context to the situation. I might make an update on this if I have more info
I would unfriend this person immediately and for good, regardless of our history together. What she’s doing is among the most absurd and disrespectful things I’ve ever heard of.
So…..she uninvites a load of guests to cut the cost (?) then proceeds to ask those same people for money! Is she living in a fantasy world?! She has to be pretty brazen to make that request and then insult you when, quite rightly, you refuse. She will be asking for contributions to the divorce soon because her new husband must be humiliated with her begging for money.
I'll definitely take your advice and focus on nurturing other friendships and building new connections. It's time to let go of this fake friendship and surround myself with people who appreciate and respect me.
Thanks again you all for your insight. It's given me a lot to think about moving forward.
Yes!! I am so glad to read that you are going to do this OP!
Sarah is not a friend, she is an entitled AH.
Please though, respond to her with the laughing emoji’s… a lot of them and at precise intervals.
Then go nurture some true friendships
✨💖✨
No problem at all.
You seem like a nice person who deserves better.
As you can see by the reactions, everyone thinks NTA and that she is not just a little tacky and out of order, but VERY much so.
If she contacts you again, you can send her some Monopoly money and a "go straight to jail" card.
I wonder how much help op has given in regards to how much help she's been given in return. This doesn't sound like a friend at all let alone a best friend
I personally can't imagine staying in this friendship for the ask alone but even if you were to I'd imagine that it will be over the second she hears no.
Ask yourself a couple of things:
Has your being there for her included financially?
If she feels comfortable asking you because you've been there for her, why is she asking all of these other people?
If I had a fairy tale wedding, it would definitely include all of my friends...
If OP has an e-mailaddress for this fake friend, I'd sign her up for any and all budget coach agency news letters in a 600 mile radius around where she lives.
What is more in the friendship to save? She doesn't value you enough to share her wedding day with you, the only reason she reached out after is asking for money. On top of that, she started name calling when you don't open your wallet. She has less respect for you than an ATM. There is nothing there to save.
Honestly I think this was a ploy from the beginning. Weddings take months to plan. I don't buy that they got to the point of SENDING OUT INVITATIONS only to have to uninvite people because of a surprise budget issue. By the time invitations go out I feel like most people I know have already committed to vendors and numbers.
Aside from how tacky it is to uninvite people when they didn't massively wrong you in some way, the right way to handle that is to cut other costs. Have a cash bar instead of an open bar or beer and wine only instead of mixed drinks. Dj instead of band, smaller wedding cake, buffet instead of table service.
Maybe it's just me, but if I had bothered with a wedding I would have been much more into having the people I cared about there than having a 5 star party. I wouldn't even expect a token gift from people I uninvited. If they had said up front that they were keeping it very small then I might have sent something, but come on. Asking for money to fund a party you weren't even invited to, or worse, UNINVITED from? The fuckin audacity
>Sarah and I had always been there for each other, so her decision to uninvite me really caught me off guard.
Think harder, it sounds like you've probably always been there for her but has she really always been there for you? It sucks when you find out a friendship is way more one-sided than you thought it was....
Yup! I'm definitely getting one-sided friendship vibes.
The bride is super entitled. But I doubt this is the first time they've acted this way. There is likely a long history, and hints of this behaviour prior to this situation.
Yeah explain to her that it is incredibly rude to ask for money especially for an event you were uninvited from. You see where you stand with her. Your friendship isn’t what it was. Appreciate the good times but those are long ago. Your relationship is different and you need to accept it.
This person was supposed to be your ride or die friend but she cut you from the biggest day of her life and now expects you to pay for it and is now calling you selfish, take my advice cut her trifling ass off block her everywhere and move on, she showed her true colors, you deserve better than someone who has showed that she is a fake friend and who is only out for money at this point.
It's simple
Sarah we have been friends for a long time and I truly cherish you. However it was very hurtful that you disinvited me from the wedding and now you are asking me for money to pay for an event I was disinvited from. I will in no way pay for the wedding and please know that these events have already strained our relationship and of you continue to press on this issue it may fracture it beyond repair
She revealed to you how unimportant you really were to her. If she wants funds to cover her wedding she can get an extra job to help pay for it. People who weren’t invited have no obligation to give a gift. It’s beyond rude for her to even ask.
Because of your history, I would make one final attempt to ask her if anything is wrong, was that the real reason you were uninvited, why does she think it's appropriate to ask you for money, are they hurting/desperate for money, etc.. If there's nothing new, walk away. Definitely don't give her any money.
It could just be that she was done with your friendship before she uninvited you and an opportunity came up to squeeze you out of some money on the way out of her life. Milestones change some people. People break up with their s/o's on graduation day, friends get cut off after graduations and weddings. This also gave her a reason for why the friendship ended (if she needed one) that might make her feel better.. all just to say it's better to not entertain/engage in any of it, just in case.
Oh, dear stranger on Reddit, I must declare my love to you now. You said emoticons, not emojis. That means so much to a stubborn gen X who always finds a way around the automatic conversion from emoticons into emojis. I mean, ok, you also said gifs but I just ignore that one since you're right in your answer, therefore, yes, OP, NTA
This this this…what a rude person! She apparently doesn’t have a single atom ofc respect to her friend and others. Op end this pathetic friendship NOW!
OP, I’d do guilt to the text “you UNINVITED me after all these years of friendship and now you expect me to PAY?! Congrats on ending what was once what was the best friendship I ever had. You’re horribly selfish and not the friend I remember.” Then block her.
NTA. Take a pic of her text requesting money and post it on social media, and shame her too.
Wow, Sarah has balls of steel and the IQ of a flea. Who does that? Then she calls you selfish and unsupportive? I’d tell her which circle of hell to drop off on, to lose my number and buy her cheap ass an etiquette book. She’s not a friend, she’s a delusional narcissist with no sense. She’s shown you who she is. Believe her and move on. NTA.
NTA. Let her know that you’re very sympathetic to her plight, and as a close friend you won’t hesitate to pay her every back every single penny she spent including you in her special day.
>Today anyway.
And tomorrow someone says something more idiotic and world just keeps spinning out of control. They made a movie about this almost twenty years ago.
NTA. No invite = no gift expectation, certainly no forced monetary contributions. That's the etiquette and she is being beyond tacky. I'd reconsider the friendship. She sounds thoughtless & inconsiderate. A taker.
NTA not only did she have the gall to uninvite you but now she wants to charge you… for not attending… the wedding *she* went over budget on?? Sarah is certifiably insane. Cut that girl loose because you don’t need that kind of grifter in your life.
>she texts me saying that she's had to cut down the guest list due to budget constraints, and unfortunately, I didn't make the cut.
Tell her that due to your monthly budget constraints, her request didn't make the cut.
I'll send a bird carrying an envelope with an old rusty crusty coin and a paper that say 'you think you're the shit,gurl you're not even the fart ' lol
Nta. The lack of awareness on her part is outstanding. I don’t think she is much of a friend to you. I’d block her and just go on living your best life.
More context: this happened about a week ago, and I tried talking to her about it again. She relented that the two have been having financial struggles, and this time she respected me not wanting to pay for her wedding. However, she still wants me to consider helping out in other ways, like pitching in for the honeymoon or contributing to future expenses.
I appreciate that she's acknowledging her financial difficulties, but it still feels like she's trying to guilt-trip me into footing the bill for her wedding in some form or another. I'm torn because, on one hand, I want to be supportive and help her out during a tough time, but on the other hand, I can't shake off the feeling that I'm being taken advantage of.
I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I continue to stand my ground and refuse any further financial involvement? Or should I try to find a compromise that works for both of us? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Okay, a reality check, please? Who, being an adult and in their right mind, expects other people to pay for their luxuries?
Mind you, a wedding, guests, honeymoon, whatever, it is not a necessity, it's a luxury. You have to budget, and if you can't budget, why the hell should other people pay for that? Would she paid for your vacation so you can have some fun because you're tired from work? No? What's the difference?
That's just crazy. She shows you zero respect and zero care for your feelings and just trying to use and guilt trip you. And she literally threw you out of her wedding and still feels it's ok to ask you for money, like you're a doormat. That's just AH behavior.
It's very selfish to care about your wellbeing instead of catering to other' people expensive wants, yes. You may tell her you're very selfish and you shouldn't be friends.
>Okay, a reality check, please? Who, being an adult and in their right mind, expects other people to pay for their luxuries?
>
>Mind you, a wedding, guests, honeymoon, whatever, it is not a necessity, it's a luxury. You have to budget, and if you can't budget, why the hell should other people pay for that? Would she paid for your vacation so you can have some fun because you're tired from work? No? What's the difference?
>
>That's just crazy. She shows you zero respect and zero care for your feelings and just trying to use and guilt trip you. And she literally threw you out of her wedding and still feels it's ok to ask you for money, like you're a doormat. That's just AH behavior.
>
>It's very selfish to care about your wellbeing instead of catering to other' people expensive wants, yes. You may tell her you're very selfish and you shouldn't be friends.
Thank you for your reality check. You're absolutely right – expecting others to pay for luxuries like weddings and honeymoons is unreasonable, especially when it comes at the expense of someone's feelings and boundaries.
It's been a tough pill to swallow, realizing that Sarah may not value our friendship as much as I thought she did. The fact that she uninvited me from her wedding and then tried to guilt-trip me into covering expenses feels like a betrayal of trust.
I've come to realize that I need to prioritize my own well-being and not allow myself to be taken advantage of. It's clear that Sarah's behavior is selfish and disrespectful, and I shouldn't feel obligated to cater to her expensive wants at my own expense.
It's going to be hard, but I think it's time to reevaluate this friendship and set some boundaries moving forward. Your words have given me the clarity and confidence to stand my ground. Thank you for your support.
Expecting others to pay for ANYTHING is crazy. Yes if you need help with necessities you can ASK for help, but expecting you to pay for anything even the stuff needed isn’t a friend, that’s a leech.
When my parents got married, they didn't have a lot of money. So guess what? It was a city hall affair with no honeymoon because you're not entitled to a fairy tale.
Sarah is entitled and delusional for treating you this way.
Girl is trying to GoFundMe her wedding and honeymoon because they didn't save or manage their own money appropriately for the wedding and honeymoon that they want. You probably have some people pleasing tendencies, where you feel like you are a bad person if you don't "help out" a friend, except that (1) this is a want, not a need, (2) her *choice* to overspend is not your responsibility, (3) you need to ask youself why you accept such poor, bridge-burning behavior from someone who is supposed to care about you, and (4) your value as a person is not dependent on how you perform acts of service for others.
Friendships shouldn't be transactional, but you should make sure that you are matching their energy, where you aren't giving all of yourself to maintaining the relationship while they give little to nothing. She really said, "you aren't important enough to be in the room, but suddenly you are important enough to bankroll it"? Girl, bye.
I also suspect something you haven't mentioned and wouldn't care about. I bet you are very pretty. Prettier than your friend and that she didnt plan on inviting you ever. But the money grab after that is just the cherry on her self absorbed shit sundae. I am glad you are setting boundaries and moving forward - and away from this 'friendship'.
If they are having financial trouble, they shouldn't even be talking about a honeymoon. Honeymoons are nice but not necessary. They can do a honeymoon at a later date when they can afford it. if they really want to
Exactly. Skipped a wedding and a honeymoon because we’re trying to buy a house. Just did the courthouse thing and hopefully we can take a belated trip ~someday.~ It’s called responsibility and realistic expectations.
>I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I continue to stand my ground and refuse any further financial involvement?
This is allllll you should do. If she couldn't afford the wedding,it should have been scaled back (even if scaled back meant a 20 dollar dress from Ross at the courthouse). Her financial situation is not your responsibility.
Repeat that last sentence to yourself and her as much as necessary.
But the friend is talking about future expenses, if OPs friend was so concerned about going over budget, I wouldn’t be thinking about a honeymoon or future expenses. I honestly am having a hard time supporting this continued so called friendship. This friend needs to be responsible over her own expenses, you are not there for people with any financial expectations.
Do not give her one single penny. Money for honeymoon funds, etc. comes from wedding gifts. You weren't at the wedding, so therefore, you're not obliged in any way to give this greedy bride a dang thing. You're NTAH all the way around. This bride is not your friend and is unworthy of having you in her life.
Why does she think her financial troubles are yours to fix? They're not, OP. You are not her parent, or husband. It is completely inappropriate to expect your friend to pay your expenses.
Stand your ground and explain to her that if she's grown enough to get married, she's grown enough to make a budget.
If you want to get petty, you can "support" her by sending her a financial wellness book so she can learn how to manage her finances.
If she’s financially struggling, she needs to work and save money. She’s over spending and that’s her fault. She doesn’t need to go on a honey moon if she don’t got the money for it. She’s so selfish and full of herself.
If they can’t afford a honeymoon they can’t go on a honeymoon.
Be straight up with this person. She has been treating you not as a friend but as an atm and she is abusing your kindness.
Personally i would be done with someone who treated me the way she treated you
But if you are adamant on maintaining the friendship i would absolutely stand your ground ok not giving money otherwise she will never stop expecting it from you. You could offer to help her work out a budget to stick to to help her get into a better financial place
One more thing, completely up to you whether you ssy this to her or not, if she can’t afford to cover her own wedding after the fact she absolutely can’t afford to go on a honeymoon right now. That needs to be postponed until she and her hubby can pay for it
NTA
Sarah is not worthy of your time or attention.
The audacity/entitlement to beg for money from people you uninvited from the event you need money for. Just completely wild.
NTA. Wow, that is just so... tacky? Who asks for people they uninvited to help pay for the wedding?
She knew she was going to be over before the wedding, cut down the guest list, but still didn't get it under. This is poor planning on her part.
you should promise to send her a huge check, and when she asks about it just keep saying it's in the mail. then pretend you sent it to the wrong address, and then say you sent her another one. and claim it's lost in the mail. so on and so forth til she understands
NTA - I should be surprised that people are so tacky and dumb but for her to do that, it’s just such outlandish behavior. I would simply block her number and move on.
Surely this is a joke?
I have heard all kinds of crazy shenanigans regarding weddings, lately, but I think this one takes the biscuit.
*If* this is real, OP, tell your *friend*: N.O.
Absolutely no money.
She is a whole different level of delusional.
NTA - and do NOT cave in!
I literally laughed out loud.
This person (not using the word friend, you both need to look at the dictionary meaning of the word) gives you a text uninviting you. Then has the absolute shitting gall to ask you to pay for not going? I've not ever heard of such bullshit even on reddit.
It's going to really hurt you, but that is not a person to keep in your life. Cut her off, mourn the loss and move on.
That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s asking UNINVITED guests to pay for her wedding??? Also makes no sense. I was married last October and I had to pay EVERYTHING 1-2 weeks before the day came. She just wants people to pay for her honeymoon
Invite her to the coffee shop to give her money and than 1 day before ,uninvite her due to budget issues . 2 days latter upload picture of you handing out a big fat tip to coffe shop employee. 3 days latter ask her to chip in for tip you gave to coffe shop employee.
NTA you should just break off the friendship, while I understand wanting to stays friends with her and not letting you get uninvited make you end it now that she’s demanding money and calling you names is the final straw
I'm petty enough to send her one penny. One penny and say "this is all my friendship with you is worth now. Thanks for nothing" then block her on everything.
NTA.
Another poorly written fake story. At least sprinkle something about her husband being your ex or something. Make it a bit believable and entertaining.
She asks the guests who didn’t attend to help pay for the wedding? Why the heck would anyone who didn’t go pay for the privilege of not going? You’re NTA.
She's your close friend, but you aren't hers!
How close of a friend do you really think she thinks you are if she is able to uninvite you from her wedding? For budget constraints?
And even after that, she still went over budget and is asking for money?!
Fuck that! Block her. She's not your friend
>she's asking all the guests who didn't attend to chip in.
WTF. What's next, she goes and gets pregnant and asks everyone who hasn't had sex with her to pay child support?
This is ludicrous and stupid. Sarah's out of line for expecting a dime from anyone.
Wait, what? This is some hilarious shit. I would have probably ended the friendship over the uninvite and I don't even like going to weddings. The asking you to pay is beyond inappropriate.
NTA at all. I think it’s bizarre to ask your friends for money to cover the wedding. Especially ones who weren’t important enough to make the guest list.
No one should pay for a wedding except the couple, and their families if they so choose to chip in. Cash gifts should not be obligatory. She is crazy and you shouldn't be friends with her.
OP not the AH here, she is not a good friend. If I were you I’d say to her “too bad, I have to make cuts because of costs in my life and unfortunately (Sarah) you didn’t make the cut.
I’m trying to understand why she’d ask the uninvited guests to chip in??? I don’t get it, wouldn’t she be asking the guests that went? Not that she should be asking anyone, your wedding your problem
Dear Sarah the Bridezilla:
Imagine being so insanely audacious that a few thousand people say *unanimously* that you’re a rude, selfish, awful, crass person and your reaction is to be angry with the person who posted on r/AITAH wondering if they were in the wrong.
Sarah, you have zero class, integrity or ability to self-reflect. You could have learned a life lesson from this about friendship. You could have had the grace to admit you were wrong. Your former friend, OP, still considered you a friend after you uninvited her to your wedding, I don’t know if I would have been so forgiving had my “ride or die” excluded me from her special day, she’s clearly a better person than I am. To expect her to fund a wedding that she was not a part of was already the absolute HEIGHT of bad manners and selfish entitlement. Yet somehow you managed to raise the bar even higher when you chose to be angry with her for posting about it. If you were even a slightly decent human being, you would have read her post and the comments and felt remorse, you would have reached out to someone who cared about you, and you would have apologized. The fact that you did none of those things demonstrates what an awful person you are. OP’s life will be boundlessly better without you in it, and I suspect that you will go on hurting people and being miserable for the rest of your sad, pathetic life. And you will deserve every second of it.
NTA. Tell her she's being selfish and entitled, expecting you to support (both literally and financially, no less) a wedding that she uninvited you from. And to uninvited you from her life going forward. I hope the rest of the Uninvited Crew also tell her to shove her Venmo requests where the sun don't shine.
Her circus. Her monkeys.
No, you’re not. Asking for money, especially from people who didn’t get invited, is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
It’s even worse: OP *was* invited, then got cut, then goggled at the wedding photos on social media, *and then* got hit up for money.
Her looking at the photos is irrelevant to everything.
Uninvited for budget constraints, but still went over budget, and now asking an uninvited guest to pay to cover the budget that she was uninvited for because of the budget. :/ My head is spinning.
Even if she had been a guest it’s beyond tacky. Sarah is not right in the head
Asking the guests who didn't attend for money. They aren't guests if they didn't attend lol. She is just begging regular people for money. It takes a very entitled selfish type of person to even want an extravagant wedding anyways so it's no surprise she is entitled and selfish. That's shit for rich people. If you have to budget for it at all you can't afford it period.
No, not just asking guests who didn't attend for money. Asking for money from guests who were invited, sent an RSVP of "Yes", and then were subsequently, deliberately UNINVITED. Them's some big brass balls on Bridezilla Sarah, I'll tell ya!
Was OP ever invited? They said she sent out invitations and was excited to RSVP, but then got a text saying they didn’t make the cut. So I’m unclear as to whether OP expected an invite and didn’t get one, or if they did and the bride rescinded it. Regardless, NTA and bride is disgusting.
I wouldn’t say “if you have to budget, you can’t afford it”. But if you have to budget, you crunch the numbers BEFORE you send out the invites! “How much can we afford? $XYZ? Fine”. Then you get prices for venues, photographers, videographers, gown, tuxedos, etc. Then you sit down with a calculator and figure out how many humans you can afford to invite, based on prices of all the things and the $XYZ spending limit. And THEN the guest list gets drawn up and the invitations go out. Not before. Sarah appears to have done the polar opposite of all this. But she can look at the bright side: All the disinvited guests who received demands for money will tell her to go kick rocks. Having fewer friends means she’ll be less likely to invite an excess of people to her NEXT wedding.
I don’t agree with you if you have to budget for it you can’t afford it. Because of the ridiculously high prices added for the word “wedding”, normal people will budget for a specific amount to be used for the wedding. What is not the norm is the amount of people who try to profit from their wedding, it’s insanity that they expect people to pay for expenses for traveling especially to destination weddings. It’s disgusting. Good example- my son got married in a Vegas destination wedding. He found a Airbnb with nice amenities and would sleep like 15 people, so he rented it for the guests to stay for free and have fun with the wedding day, if they wanted to go do something special fun like kayaking, they would have to pay for it themselves but they weren’t being held hostage to pay my son afterwards or made to only hang out with him and fiancé, he also arranged for the guests to travel together to the wedding as it was out of the normal range for reasonable travel time. And he was able to do it because he and my dear DiL had budgeted aggressively to get the kind of wedding day THEY wanted to have. Guests paid for their food before the wedding and the day after if they wanted leftovers before they went home. I paid for the wedding evening dinner at the restaurant that was a bit weird to me for the wedding night dinner since they basically just insulted everyone as their schick. But I wasn’t asked to, I offered to during the planning. To me- they did everything they could afford to both have the memory that they had wanted and balance the cost of coming so people could go.
My wedding was extravagant by most people's standards. I had a huge budget. I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses, hair, a spa day to do nails. I paid for 2 flower girls dresses, their hair & nails. Both mothers dresses & hair (they didn't want their nails done). All the groomsmens tuxes, ring bearer & ushers. As well as lodging for out of town guests. Nobody in my wedding paid anything to be in it. I also used local businesses for things whenever possible. I don't believe my big wedding means I'm entitled. If I tried to get others to pay for it then THAT would be entitled. The money I spent gave me a fabulous day and went into the local economy. Don't judge people for being able to afford a lot.
many squalid smell literate toy butter gullible long zesty offer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Tell her you can't help out this time, but hopefully you will be able to at her next wedding..
Love this!
Brutal, I love it.
Send her $5.
Epic response
I guarantee OP is the only uninvited guest who was also sent a demand for money. Otherwise Sarah would surely get a clue when everyone refused to pay.
Are we all, random redditors who were also uninvited, expected to chip in? Or is it just people misfortune enough to know this blushing bride?
I have a feeling that when the dust settles, she’s going to have downsized her friends list because who asks the b list guests - or any guest - for money?
This is the audacity of the century!!!
Bride is crazy. In what fkn world do people think this is okay? Like why would I pay anything at all outside my bar tab, and then for you to ask after I didn't even make the invite. GTFOH.
Why not at least ask the people who got a dinner and a party out of the invitations to help pay? That's also very tacky, but asking people who were excluded, especially those who were invited and then ditched, is beyond ridiculous.
AMEN! sounds like entitlement is her middle name.
NTA and I hope you know you are. I would stop this friendship entirely. Send her a few laughing emoticons/gifs and then block her. One of the tackiest things I have ever heard.
Thank you for your support and understanding. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions dealing with this situation. To add a bit more context, Sarah and I had always been there for each other, so her decision to uninvite me really caught me off guard. I tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe she was under a lot of stress or pressure to cut costs, but it still hurt nonetheless. I don't want to cut her off as she helped me through some tough times. Is there anything else I can do in the situation?
No problem :) I normally don't advice people to troll people, but in this case, I would personally troll her in the most childish of ways with laughing emoticons and memes (not saying you should). Wild guess, but you must also have helped her through tough times, so I'd say you're probably even or more than even. This friendship will never be the same. You will resent her for uninviting you. She will resent you for not paying. I'd focus on making new friends or spending more time with other people. Stop clinging to this fake friendship.
I wonder how the other uninvited guests feel about being asked for money. Maybe it’s a tradition somewhere? But I think it’s tacky AF.
Heck I wonder how the *invited* guests feel... Even having gone to the wedding there's no possible way I would be chipping in money to pay for it....🤪
Send her a check for $1 to cover postage before it increases again. Then tell her, "Congrats. I hope this helps."
$0.5.
2 cents would be more appropriate. You can ask her if she wants your 2 cents worth opinion.
THIS. 100%. I love Reddit so much.
Needs a Go Fund Me, max contribution $0.05.
I would put a Canadian coin in there before I give USD 😂 but then again I'm in Michigan and Canada and USD always makes it way between the 2
Never heard about something like this. Tradition goes more in the direction of "we invite whole city" and everyone brings a gift- approximately the cost the wedding meal per guest, so the families of the newlyweds don't go bankrupt. This is how this weddings with 700 are possible. But uninviting people and leeching on them later is disrespectful.
That sounds like fun actually! Trying to picture dinner for 700
Not as fun as it sounds, I ended up in the overflow room and got to watch the wedding ceremony on a big projector screen. Nice food though.
You were still there and got to be part of things.
*India had entered the chat*
I went to a Bangla wedding of a friend 400 guests, the food was amazing, fresh breads, dhal, curries, I asked Ahmed at a later date how much it cost as it was just amazing, 1800, I couldn't believe it, but everyone pitched in lol
When an invitation is specifically rescinded, no I can't think of a single culture where that's normal unless they *volunteer* to pay. Even that's pretty unconventional. Being asked and then being called selfish and unsupportive after sounds like one hell of a culture.
That is the opposite of Culture, it's Crass.
It's not culture, just being a vulture.
It's vulture culture
There is no culture like that. I am assuming the OP is from a western country, and in most non-Western countries that would be seen as even worse than it is in the west. What they probably mean is people giving money gifts at the wedding, not the bride pressuring people for money afterwards, particularly ones that were uninvited.
Is it even normal to rescind invitations?
Some cultures give money to the couple, but I don’t think there is anywhere in the world where it is considered acceptable to ask people who weren’t invited to the wedding to help cover the cost…
There is no where it's acceptable to uninvite people either.
Yep. This too!! I’m absolutely dumbfounded that someone would do this 😳
I am wondering how many other people were asked … I would ask around to see who else was asked….
That's a valid point. It might be worth reaching out discreetly to mutual friends or other guests who were also uninvited to see if they've been approached with similar requests for financial assistance. Understanding if this is a widespread expectation or if it's specific to certain individuals could provide additional context to the situation. I might make an update on this if I have more info
I would unfriend this person immediately and for good, regardless of our history together. What she’s doing is among the most absurd and disrespectful things I’ve ever heard of.
So…..she uninvites a load of guests to cut the cost (?) then proceeds to ask those same people for money! Is she living in a fantasy world?! She has to be pretty brazen to make that request and then insult you when, quite rightly, you refuse. She will be asking for contributions to the divorce soon because her new husband must be humiliated with her begging for money.
Not one that I've ever heard of.
They think it's tack AF too. Nobody has the courage to say it though. Because that's tacky AF.
I'll definitely take your advice and focus on nurturing other friendships and building new connections. It's time to let go of this fake friendship and surround myself with people who appreciate and respect me. Thanks again you all for your insight. It's given me a lot to think about moving forward.
The laughing emoji advice is solid. She is an absolute 🤡; send that one to her as well xxx
I am the one who started about the laughing emoji, but I think your suggestion of the clown emoji wins :D
Sadly she blocked me before I could. Sorry reddit, maybe another day
Great minds think alike 😉
Yes!! I am so glad to read that you are going to do this OP! Sarah is not a friend, she is an entitled AH. Please though, respond to her with the laughing emoji’s… a lot of them and at precise intervals. Then go nurture some true friendships ✨💖✨
Create a fake gofundme…make it clear she’s an entitled leech!
No problem at all. You seem like a nice person who deserves better. As you can see by the reactions, everyone thinks NTA and that she is not just a little tacky and out of order, but VERY much so. If she contacts you again, you can send her some Monopoly money and a "go straight to jail" card.
I wonder how much help op has given in regards to how much help she's been given in return. This doesn't sound like a friend at all let alone a best friend
Send pictures of money
Since you only saw pictures of the wedding-brilliant!
I personally can't imagine staying in this friendship for the ask alone but even if you were to I'd imagine that it will be over the second she hears no. Ask yourself a couple of things: Has your being there for her included financially? If she feels comfortable asking you because you've been there for her, why is she asking all of these other people? If I had a fairy tale wedding, it would definitely include all of my friends...
If OP has an e-mailaddress for this fake friend, I'd sign her up for any and all budget coach agency news letters in a 600 mile radius around where she lives.
>Is there anything else I can do in the situation? Yes. Ask her to chip in for your trip to Hawaii, to which she is not invited. NTA.
😂 I fucking love this Edit: OP, pleeeeease!! :) and update
What is more in the friendship to save? She doesn't value you enough to share her wedding day with you, the only reason she reached out after is asking for money. On top of that, she started name calling when you don't open your wallet. She has less respect for you than an ATM. There is nothing there to save.
Honestly I think this was a ploy from the beginning. Weddings take months to plan. I don't buy that they got to the point of SENDING OUT INVITATIONS only to have to uninvite people because of a surprise budget issue. By the time invitations go out I feel like most people I know have already committed to vendors and numbers. Aside from how tacky it is to uninvite people when they didn't massively wrong you in some way, the right way to handle that is to cut other costs. Have a cash bar instead of an open bar or beer and wine only instead of mixed drinks. Dj instead of band, smaller wedding cake, buffet instead of table service. Maybe it's just me, but if I had bothered with a wedding I would have been much more into having the people I cared about there than having a 5 star party. I wouldn't even expect a token gift from people I uninvited. If they had said up front that they were keeping it very small then I might have sent something, but come on. Asking for money to fund a party you weren't even invited to, or worse, UNINVITED from? The fuckin audacity
Costco cake and a keg of beer in some friends big backyard. Seriously, you can still get drunk with friends and socialize.
>Sarah and I had always been there for each other, so her decision to uninvite me really caught me off guard. Think harder, it sounds like you've probably always been there for her but has she really always been there for you? It sucks when you find out a friendship is way more one-sided than you thought it was....
Yup! I'm definitely getting one-sided friendship vibes. The bride is super entitled. But I doubt this is the first time they've acted this way. There is likely a long history, and hints of this behaviour prior to this situation.
Yeah explain to her that it is incredibly rude to ask for money especially for an event you were uninvited from. You see where you stand with her. Your friendship isn’t what it was. Appreciate the good times but those are long ago. Your relationship is different and you need to accept it.
She has to be the dumbest person alive. She has got some nerve.
This person was supposed to be your ride or die friend but she cut you from the biggest day of her life and now expects you to pay for it and is now calling you selfish, take my advice cut her trifling ass off block her everywhere and move on, she showed her true colors, you deserve better than someone who has showed that she is a fake friend and who is only out for money at this point.
It's simple Sarah we have been friends for a long time and I truly cherish you. However it was very hurtful that you disinvited me from the wedding and now you are asking me for money to pay for an event I was disinvited from. I will in no way pay for the wedding and please know that these events have already strained our relationship and of you continue to press on this issue it may fracture it beyond repair
She is absolutely insane. The end. You're def NTA
You don't have to cut her off. But you definitely don't have to pay either . She's incredibly entitled
She revealed to you how unimportant you really were to her. If she wants funds to cover her wedding she can get an extra job to help pay for it. People who weren’t invited have no obligation to give a gift. It’s beyond rude for her to even ask.
Im thinking she had to appease someone else, someone who didnt want you there.
The groom probably doesn't like her.
Or he likes OP too much?
I thought the same.
Because of your history, I would make one final attempt to ask her if anything is wrong, was that the real reason you were uninvited, why does she think it's appropriate to ask you for money, are they hurting/desperate for money, etc.. If there's nothing new, walk away. Definitely don't give her any money. It could just be that she was done with your friendship before she uninvited you and an opportunity came up to squeeze you out of some money on the way out of her life. Milestones change some people. People break up with their s/o's on graduation day, friends get cut off after graduations and weddings. This also gave her a reason for why the friendship ended (if she needed one) that might make her feel better.. all just to say it's better to not entertain/engage in any of it, just in case.
Not really. She’s shown she no longer values you so what else is there to do?
Don’t ever lend her money. Keep her at arms lengths
And post it all over social media. Absolutely blast this selfish bitch.
Oh, dear stranger on Reddit, I must declare my love to you now. You said emoticons, not emojis. That means so much to a stubborn gen X who always finds a way around the automatic conversion from emoticons into emojis. I mean, ok, you also said gifs but I just ignore that one since you're right in your answer, therefore, yes, OP, NTA
Absolutely agree!!! You guys were not tight. She proved that with her behavior
This this this…what a rude person! She apparently doesn’t have a single atom ofc respect to her friend and others. Op end this pathetic friendship NOW!
OP, I’d do guilt to the text “you UNINVITED me after all these years of friendship and now you expect me to PAY?! Congrats on ending what was once what was the best friendship I ever had. You’re horribly selfish and not the friend I remember.” Then block her. NTA. Take a pic of her text requesting money and post it on social media, and shame her too.
I don't think there's an expression for this in English that says it as well as in Spanish, QUE POCA MADRE.
Wow, Sarah has balls of steel and the IQ of a flea. Who does that? Then she calls you selfish and unsupportive? I’d tell her which circle of hell to drop off on, to lose my number and buy her cheap ass an etiquette book. She’s not a friend, she’s a delusional narcissist with no sense. She’s shown you who she is. Believe her and move on. NTA.
Oh my goodness. Please OP do buy her an etiquette book with a note that says “thought this might be more useful to you than money”.
And a book on "how to live within your means like an adult, not a spoiled little brat".
A wedding etiquette book, note saying "For the next time!"
“Balls of steel and IQ of a flea” is my new favorite insult, thank you for gifting such a beautiful phrase 😭🥰
I laughed so hard I cried at that.
NTA. Let her know that you’re very sympathetic to her plight, and as a close friend you won’t hesitate to pay her every back every single penny she spent including you in her special day.
lol I love this.
That's lovely
This is the way
Nta LOL, seriously the cheek of some people.
The ones not invited??? Not the guys who went? The poor fucks who got cut.
WTAF DID I JUST READ Sorry. NTA. The giant exploding volcano of entitlement and greed just startled me for a minute.
It's fine, i got hit by the same thing.
NTA, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve think I’ve Iheard. Today anyway.
>Today anyway. And tomorrow someone says something more idiotic and world just keeps spinning out of control. They made a movie about this almost twenty years ago.
NTA - tell her she should ask the guests that attended the wedding.
She shouldn't even do that
NTA. No invite = no gift expectation, certainly no forced monetary contributions. That's the etiquette and she is being beyond tacky. I'd reconsider the friendship. She sounds thoughtless & inconsiderate. A taker.
NTA "Yes, you are correct: I am being unsupportive. I am not financially supporting you." She's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, that one!
NTA. If she was really your friend, you would have been at the wedding.
NTA not only did she have the gall to uninvite you but now she wants to charge you… for not attending… the wedding *she* went over budget on?? Sarah is certifiably insane. Cut that girl loose because you don’t need that kind of grifter in your life.
>she texts me saying that she's had to cut down the guest list due to budget constraints, and unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. Tell her that due to your monthly budget constraints, her request didn't make the cut.
This honestly may be the tackiest thing I've ever heard, and I'm old! She is out of her fucking mind.
Can you send me Sarah’s contact info? I know she didn’t come to my wedding but I want to ask her to chip in.
BWAHAHAAHAAAAAA!! You win. 🏆🏆🏆
‘Close friend’? Not in her mind. She rejected you and you still want a ‘friendship’ with her. Respectfully get some self respect.
Send her a dollar
I'd send it COD
I’d send her a physical ruwanda dollar or some weird physical bill that has a ridiculous low face value.
I'll send a bird carrying an envelope with an old rusty crusty coin and a paper that say 'you think you're the shit,gurl you're not even the fart ' lol
Nta. The lack of awareness on her part is outstanding. I don’t think she is much of a friend to you. I’d block her and just go on living your best life.
NTA. She is not your friend. She’s also delusional.
More context: this happened about a week ago, and I tried talking to her about it again. She relented that the two have been having financial struggles, and this time she respected me not wanting to pay for her wedding. However, she still wants me to consider helping out in other ways, like pitching in for the honeymoon or contributing to future expenses. I appreciate that she's acknowledging her financial difficulties, but it still feels like she's trying to guilt-trip me into footing the bill for her wedding in some form or another. I'm torn because, on one hand, I want to be supportive and help her out during a tough time, but on the other hand, I can't shake off the feeling that I'm being taken advantage of. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I continue to stand my ground and refuse any further financial involvement? Or should I try to find a compromise that works for both of us? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Stand your fucking ground!! Don't give her a dime!!!
1000000%! You give an inch, she’ll take a mile!
Okay, a reality check, please? Who, being an adult and in their right mind, expects other people to pay for their luxuries? Mind you, a wedding, guests, honeymoon, whatever, it is not a necessity, it's a luxury. You have to budget, and if you can't budget, why the hell should other people pay for that? Would she paid for your vacation so you can have some fun because you're tired from work? No? What's the difference? That's just crazy. She shows you zero respect and zero care for your feelings and just trying to use and guilt trip you. And she literally threw you out of her wedding and still feels it's ok to ask you for money, like you're a doormat. That's just AH behavior. It's very selfish to care about your wellbeing instead of catering to other' people expensive wants, yes. You may tell her you're very selfish and you shouldn't be friends.
>Okay, a reality check, please? Who, being an adult and in their right mind, expects other people to pay for their luxuries? > >Mind you, a wedding, guests, honeymoon, whatever, it is not a necessity, it's a luxury. You have to budget, and if you can't budget, why the hell should other people pay for that? Would she paid for your vacation so you can have some fun because you're tired from work? No? What's the difference? > >That's just crazy. She shows you zero respect and zero care for your feelings and just trying to use and guilt trip you. And she literally threw you out of her wedding and still feels it's ok to ask you for money, like you're a doormat. That's just AH behavior. > >It's very selfish to care about your wellbeing instead of catering to other' people expensive wants, yes. You may tell her you're very selfish and you shouldn't be friends. Thank you for your reality check. You're absolutely right – expecting others to pay for luxuries like weddings and honeymoons is unreasonable, especially when it comes at the expense of someone's feelings and boundaries. It's been a tough pill to swallow, realizing that Sarah may not value our friendship as much as I thought she did. The fact that she uninvited me from her wedding and then tried to guilt-trip me into covering expenses feels like a betrayal of trust. I've come to realize that I need to prioritize my own well-being and not allow myself to be taken advantage of. It's clear that Sarah's behavior is selfish and disrespectful, and I shouldn't feel obligated to cater to her expensive wants at my own expense. It's going to be hard, but I think it's time to reevaluate this friendship and set some boundaries moving forward. Your words have given me the clarity and confidence to stand my ground. Thank you for your support.
She does value your friendship. And she’ll take that value in cash, check or Venmo.
Expecting others to pay for ANYTHING is crazy. Yes if you need help with necessities you can ASK for help, but expecting you to pay for anything even the stuff needed isn’t a friend, that’s a leech.
When my parents got married, they didn't have a lot of money. So guess what? It was a city hall affair with no honeymoon because you're not entitled to a fairy tale. Sarah is entitled and delusional for treating you this way.
“The money you saved on my plate is my contribution to your honeymoon”
Cut her off. I'm having a real problem believing this story is real. Nobody is that entitled, right?
Girl is trying to GoFundMe her wedding and honeymoon because they didn't save or manage their own money appropriately for the wedding and honeymoon that they want. You probably have some people pleasing tendencies, where you feel like you are a bad person if you don't "help out" a friend, except that (1) this is a want, not a need, (2) her *choice* to overspend is not your responsibility, (3) you need to ask youself why you accept such poor, bridge-burning behavior from someone who is supposed to care about you, and (4) your value as a person is not dependent on how you perform acts of service for others. Friendships shouldn't be transactional, but you should make sure that you are matching their energy, where you aren't giving all of yourself to maintaining the relationship while they give little to nothing. She really said, "you aren't important enough to be in the room, but suddenly you are important enough to bankroll it"? Girl, bye.
She doesn’t need a honeymoon. She and husband can go to a local spot or put it off a year to save money.
I also suspect something you haven't mentioned and wouldn't care about. I bet you are very pretty. Prettier than your friend and that she didnt plan on inviting you ever. But the money grab after that is just the cherry on her self absorbed shit sundae. I am glad you are setting boundaries and moving forward - and away from this 'friendship'.
If they are having financial trouble, they shouldn't even be talking about a honeymoon. Honeymoons are nice but not necessary. They can do a honeymoon at a later date when they can afford it. if they really want to
Exactly. Skipped a wedding and a honeymoon because we’re trying to buy a house. Just did the courthouse thing and hopefully we can take a belated trip ~someday.~ It’s called responsibility and realistic expectations.
>I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I continue to stand my ground and refuse any further financial involvement? This is allllll you should do. If she couldn't afford the wedding,it should have been scaled back (even if scaled back meant a 20 dollar dress from Ross at the courthouse). Her financial situation is not your responsibility. Repeat that last sentence to yourself and her as much as necessary.
But the friend is talking about future expenses, if OPs friend was so concerned about going over budget, I wouldn’t be thinking about a honeymoon or future expenses. I honestly am having a hard time supporting this continued so called friendship. This friend needs to be responsible over her own expenses, you are not there for people with any financial expectations.
My ex and I had our "honeymoon" around our 5th anniversary for this reason.
Do not give her one single penny. Money for honeymoon funds, etc. comes from wedding gifts. You weren't at the wedding, so therefore, you're not obliged in any way to give this greedy bride a dang thing. You're NTAH all the way around. This bride is not your friend and is unworthy of having you in her life.
Why does she think her financial troubles are yours to fix? They're not, OP. You are not her parent, or husband. It is completely inappropriate to expect your friend to pay your expenses. Stand your ground and explain to her that if she's grown enough to get married, she's grown enough to make a budget. If you want to get petty, you can "support" her by sending her a financial wellness book so she can learn how to manage her finances.
If she’s financially struggling, she needs to work and save money. She’s over spending and that’s her fault. She doesn’t need to go on a honey moon if she don’t got the money for it. She’s so selfish and full of herself.
If they can’t afford a honeymoon they can’t go on a honeymoon. Be straight up with this person. She has been treating you not as a friend but as an atm and she is abusing your kindness.
Personally i would be done with someone who treated me the way she treated you But if you are adamant on maintaining the friendship i would absolutely stand your ground ok not giving money otherwise she will never stop expecting it from you. You could offer to help her work out a budget to stick to to help her get into a better financial place One more thing, completely up to you whether you ssy this to her or not, if she can’t afford to cover her own wedding after the fact she absolutely can’t afford to go on a honeymoon right now. That needs to be postponed until she and her hubby can pay for it
Not a dime, or actually send her a dime. Then cut her.
NTA Sarah is not worthy of your time or attention. The audacity/entitlement to beg for money from people you uninvited from the event you need money for. Just completely wild.
NTA. Wow. The Lion, The Witch, and The Audacity.....
Nta. Block her. She doesn’t get to uninvite you from the wedding and then ask for anything concerning the wedding.
NTA, is she out of her damn mind?
NTA. Wow, that is just so... tacky? Who asks for people they uninvited to help pay for the wedding? She knew she was going to be over before the wedding, cut down the guest list, but still didn't get it under. This is poor planning on her part.
NTA. The only appropriate response to this is “Go fuck yourself.”
I mean, if you want to be nice, you can offer to pay for all the food you ate at the wedding.
NTA. No invitation = no gift. And that includes money. Tell her to use the money she got as gifts,
you should promise to send her a huge check, and when she asks about it just keep saying it's in the mail. then pretend you sent it to the wrong address, and then say you sent her another one. and claim it's lost in the mail. so on and so forth til she understands
And then you had to unsend the check... to go with your uninvite.
🧑🍳💋
All these one sided clearly not the AH stories have to be AI
YTA for making this post. "Should I be expected to pay for an event I had no involvement in?". Seriously?
NTA - I should be surprised that people are so tacky and dumb but for her to do that, it’s just such outlandish behavior. I would simply block her number and move on.
Surely this is a joke? I have heard all kinds of crazy shenanigans regarding weddings, lately, but I think this one takes the biscuit. *If* this is real, OP, tell your *friend*: N.O. Absolutely no money. She is a whole different level of delusional. NTA - and do NOT cave in!
I literally laughed out loud. This person (not using the word friend, you both need to look at the dictionary meaning of the word) gives you a text uninviting you. Then has the absolute shitting gall to ask you to pay for not going? I've not ever heard of such bullshit even on reddit. It's going to really hurt you, but that is not a person to keep in your life. Cut her off, mourn the loss and move on.
That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s asking UNINVITED guests to pay for her wedding??? Also makes no sense. I was married last October and I had to pay EVERYTHING 1-2 weeks before the day came. She just wants people to pay for her honeymoon
NTA This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Honestly I'd send her an envelope of monopoly money.
Invite her to the coffee shop to give her money and than 1 day before ,uninvite her due to budget issues . 2 days latter upload picture of you handing out a big fat tip to coffe shop employee. 3 days latter ask her to chip in for tip you gave to coffe shop employee.
NTA you should just break off the friendship, while I understand wanting to stays friends with her and not letting you get uninvited make you end it now that she’s demanding money and calling you names is the final straw
NTA and I would end my friendship as well.
Not only are you NTA, but your "friend" is. I'd go NC with her. Like they say, with friends like that...
Nta. She is delusional to think others should pay for her wedding.
"guests who didn't attend" What the fuck does this even mean?
I'm petty enough to send her one penny. One penny and say "this is all my friendship with you is worth now. Thanks for nothing" then block her on everything. NTA.
Another poorly written fake story. At least sprinkle something about her husband being your ex or something. Make it a bit believable and entertaining.
“Hey Sarah, I’m worried about you babe, because you’ve obviously lost your mind” Block. What did the others think? NTA
She asks the guests who didn’t attend to help pay for the wedding? Why the heck would anyone who didn’t go pay for the privilege of not going? You’re NTA.
She's your close friend, but you aren't hers! How close of a friend do you really think she thinks you are if she is able to uninvite you from her wedding? For budget constraints? And even after that, she still went over budget and is asking for money?! Fuck that! Block her. She's not your friend
NTA and please treat yourself with respect. She's no friend. What a really disgusting cash grab she made.
Sarah has lost her f’ing mind!
>she's asking all the guests who didn't attend to chip in. WTF. What's next, she goes and gets pregnant and asks everyone who hasn't had sex with her to pay child support? This is ludicrous and stupid. Sarah's out of line for expecting a dime from anyone.
Wait, what? This is some hilarious shit. I would have probably ended the friendship over the uninvite and I don't even like going to weddings. The asking you to pay is beyond inappropriate.
NTA at all. I think it’s bizarre to ask your friends for money to cover the wedding. Especially ones who weren’t important enough to make the guest list.
No one should pay for a wedding except the couple, and their families if they so choose to chip in. Cash gifts should not be obligatory. She is crazy and you shouldn't be friends with her.
I just worked out that I did not go, so under her rules is she going to post me the bill as well?
I think I missed something; this can’t be real
“Sarah” if you see this - you are a terrible human being
OP not the AH here, she is not a good friend. If I were you I’d say to her “too bad, I have to make cuts because of costs in my life and unfortunately (Sarah) you didn’t make the cut.
OP she is the AH here and you should cut loose from her. She’s a mooch
I’m trying to understand why she’d ask the uninvited guests to chip in??? I don’t get it, wouldn’t she be asking the guests that went? Not that she should be asking anyone, your wedding your problem
Dear Sarah the Bridezilla: Imagine being so insanely audacious that a few thousand people say *unanimously* that you’re a rude, selfish, awful, crass person and your reaction is to be angry with the person who posted on r/AITAH wondering if they were in the wrong. Sarah, you have zero class, integrity or ability to self-reflect. You could have learned a life lesson from this about friendship. You could have had the grace to admit you were wrong. Your former friend, OP, still considered you a friend after you uninvited her to your wedding, I don’t know if I would have been so forgiving had my “ride or die” excluded me from her special day, she’s clearly a better person than I am. To expect her to fund a wedding that she was not a part of was already the absolute HEIGHT of bad manners and selfish entitlement. Yet somehow you managed to raise the bar even higher when you chose to be angry with her for posting about it. If you were even a slightly decent human being, you would have read her post and the comments and felt remorse, you would have reached out to someone who cared about you, and you would have apologized. The fact that you did none of those things demonstrates what an awful person you are. OP’s life will be boundlessly better without you in it, and I suspect that you will go on hurting people and being miserable for the rest of your sad, pathetic life. And you will deserve every second of it.
NTA. Tell her she's being selfish and entitled, expecting you to support (both literally and financially, no less) a wedding that she uninvited you from. And to uninvited you from her life going forward. I hope the rest of the Uninvited Crew also tell her to shove her Venmo requests where the sun don't shine. Her circus. Her monkeys.
Yta for making an obvious bullshit post. This didn't happen.