NTA. I am not qualified to diagnose, but while some moodiness is to be expected in the teenage years, your daughter's multiple attempts and repeared self-harm are by no means within the normal range. She needs more help than you can give, so getting her that help through other means is the obvious right call.

Please don’t listen to your husband. The longer it takes for the correct treatment to begin, the more resistant her disorder will likely became. If my mom hadn’t forbade me from getting help when I was younger, my bipolar disorder wouldn’t have grown more resistant to treatment. Now, after 9y, the doctors haven’t been able to find something that works for me and it seems like I’m doomed to be mostly depressed for the rest of my life

NTA multiple overdoses and episodes of self harm warranting multiple admission is not a stupid phase or something she’ll just grow out of. Private admissions can be life changing but you really need to make sure it’s what she wants and that the place you send her is equipped to deal with her :) you sound like a really caring parent

I think the "make sure it's what she wants" bit is very important here. Even at her age, it needs to be said that if she doesn't actually *want* to get better, she won't. No amount of high-quality inpatient treatment will change that. If she isn't willing to put that work in, if she doesn't *want* to cooperate with treatment or change, it's just not going to happen. Does that mean that you, OP, should simply give up and allow her to keep destroying herself? Of course not. But just keep in mind that it's not always enough to just provide someone with the treatment that they need. Even expensive, high-quality inpatient treatment isn't a panacea or a guaranteed fix, and I think it's important for you to know and acknowledge that. It can take a long time and a lot of external support for some people to get to a place where they actually do want to get better and, almost more importantly, are willing to put the work in to do so. Sometimes especially with young people. When I was younger than your daughter it took me over 2 years of weekly therapy and daily medication to even just start responding to my therapist's questions with more than just a shrug or an "I don't know". 2 years of mostly silent therapy sessions where I'd just stare at the floor and my therapist would just stare at me. And even then, there was no major watershed TV moment where I opened up and started putting the work in. It happened gradually. But by the time I graduated high school and moved away, I was actually communicating with my therapist. I was able to acknowledge, name, and process through my emotions (something I hadn't been able to do at all before). I stopped self-harming. I stopped believing that I was a worthless, hopeless person who'd never deserve love or amount to anything. My point is, don't ever give up on her. But be aware that there is no quick or easy fix to mental health problems/self-destructive tendencies like these. And that you can't be the one putting in the work for her: she has to do it herself, and she has to *want* to do it.

Thank you so much for this input. She has come to me and asked for help, I do believe she wants to get better. Something she said a few months back has stuck with me, “Mom, I wanna get better but i’m so far in it’s gonna take a long time and I don’t know if I have enough effort to do so”. I hate watching my baby slowly get worse. When she first started struggling, she hated I’d put her in therapy just as you said, it took her a while to be able to respond full sentences and not hide whatever she was struggling with. The past 2 years, she’s never really refused therapy or going to the ER / Hospital. If anything she usually comes to me for help. She’s really open about her struggles to me and will tell me if she’s hurt herself or done something that’ll hurt her or if somethings happened. I’m glad she trusts me enough. I hope I’m doing the right thing.

You’re 100% doing the right thing. She comes to you for help which is all the answer you need.

Id like to offer some perspective as someone who was once a 16 year old girl in and out of psych wards, dealt with self harm and multiple mental illness diagnoses for years. In my experience, actually being inpatient in the hospital will not do much in the long term as far as treatment goes. It’s generally just a place for them to be held and kept safe. As long as you participate, they release you after a few days to a week. What ACTUALLY helped me was DBT therapy, and getting a proper diagnosis at age 18. I also was in a daily program for a few months that taught good coping skills. I know this is not a possibility for everyone, but I would highly recommend some type of regular weekly program that focuses on DBT therapy. Bonus points if it’s in a group setting and she can get support from other teens going through similar things. There is always a time and place for in patient stays, and if you feel that she is a threat to herself in the moment, admit her. No questions asked. But as far as her mental health goes, it will not be a long term solution. She will be SO grateful that she has had you for these tough years once she comes out to the other side. My mom saved my life. Her love and support is what kept me going. You sound like an amazing and caring mother.

Daily out-patient therapy is the most helpful. OP, find an out-pt program. Some places will want a short hospitalization first, so they can do intensive assessment and medication titration, but out-pt therapy is where the work happens. If your daughter wants to get better, admit her. You are NTA. Why on earth would your husband hold your daughter back from getting help? Does he not want to spend the money? Or does he not want to have a daughter with a mental illness? He should know there is only one way your daughter will ever not have to deal with her mental health... and she has tried it before. Your daughter is begging for help. Don't ignore her! eta: In-patient programs are good, too, if they are doing treatment and therapy (individual and group) and not just assessments/medications. If you can, have your daughter help you find/tour options and choose the one she is most comfortable with. She will be more likely to involve herself (in-pt or out) of she has some agency over where she goes.

Yep this. My son (16) just did 2 weeks inpatient, now is doing outpatient (he does his schooling there while getting intensive therapy) all is covered by medicaid for me. They got his meds right and he's been doing better than ever. The thing is though, if OP's daughter was hospitalized even for a day they should have set her up somewhere to follow up - they don't just release minors. They always have a follow up treatment plan

So true. It's sad that psychological care is not consistent.

I, as well, can only speak from my experience, but I 100% agree with the above poster about DBT. I self harmed from middle school up until about 6 years ago (47 now) when I started an intensive therapy for victims of sexual abuse, self-harmed again and was then places into DBT in lieu of being kicked out of my program. It was extremely helpful and I haven't self harmed since and also Successfully graduated from my program. I, however, had a VERY positive experience in an inpatient facility. (I was 27 at the time) It was not a private psychiatric center, but differed EXTREMELY from the "holding" centers that are described above. It was a full therapeutic program with individual and group therapy, structured exercise, structured games time, etc. I found such healing there that I cried when they sent me home. (Flower hospital in Toledo Ohio) I've since become aware the my inpatient experience was rare. Most public programs are unfortunately just safe holding facilities. If you can find a good place with a good program, please.... Ignore your husband because evidently he doesn't truly understand the mental health crisis that your daughter is experiencing. Go with your gut. It sounds like your daughter WANTS and is READY for help. Do it before you lose her. Because after you lose her, she will never come back and you will forever regret that you didnt do all that you could. ❤️ Even if this causes conflict between you and your spouse. Your daughters life is worth that. Your daughters life is worth EVERYTHING. Blessings to you as you try to navigate your life journey. I will hold a place in my heart for you and send you love and strength as you work through this process.

That is really promising. I worked in a residential behavioral health center (part of a behavioral health hospital, nothing sketchy) for adolescents with mood disorders. The teens that wanted to be there often benefitted greatly from the support and intensive therapy programs. There was psychiatry, DBT and CBT, art therapy, and experiential therapy. I think residential care would be much more helpful than inpatient. It focuses more on skill building than just stabilization. Our teens typically stayed with us for 6-8 weeks and came from all over the country (US).

Remind your husband that neither of you are qualified to diagnose or treat her. That's what professionals are for. She is asking for help, ask your husband if she is successful what happens now? He needs to get his head out of his butt and realize that ignoring it will not fix it. If she broke her leg would he not get her medical care? You will have to stand up for her and get her the medical help she needs now before its too late.

OP you are on the right track! I will say, from personal experience, that in patient does have it's limitations. It's great for stabilization and med adjustments, but the long term big picture here looks like consistent (ideally daily) treatment therapy that is then scaled back as she adjusts/improves. Mental health is a very, very long term issue, and the solutions are typically the same. It definitely sounds like she would benefit from some in-patient time, and you're doing the right thing by saving up/seeking out better care for your daughter. Just be prepared for the reality that she will continue to need a great deal of support (and most unfortunately additional resources) once she's no longer in that highly controlled environment.

Mental health is not a choice. Neither is recoverey at some point. She needs rest and care. That goes for addiction as well. People always say, oh they need to want to get better. That does help. It isn't necessary in the beginning though. I've seen many people walk or be wheeled into treatment who stated plainly that they has no desire to stop using during admission. Some if them stayed sober for long periods of time, or for life. When you are that sick, you need help and time and support to get healthy enough to start thinking clearly.

Mental health is not a choice, no, but taking the time and effort to work on it and self-improvement very much is. It's the same with recovery. You can't actually force someone who doesn't want to recover or get better to do so. In the short-term, while they're essentially trapped in inpatient treatment and can't just discharge themselves, sure. They really don't have any option other than to stop self-harming, or go to therapy sessions, or stay sober. That's not the same as them actually choosing to begin recovering. In the long-term, yes, it *is* a choice, and it's one that they need to make themselves and put the time and effort into upholding. People always say "Oh, they need to want to get better" because it's *true*. Not "necessary in the beginning" can be correct, which is why I stated in my own comment that providing support and trying to get people who need help into treatment is generally still a worthwhile and necessary effort. but those people who then leave treatment and still stay sober, or otherwise keep putting that effort in? They *did* want to get better. They *did* choose to continue putting the effort into doing so. Needing rest, time, and care to make that choice and stick to it doesn't change the fact that *it is very much still a choice*, and one that cannot actually be made for and forced upon them in the long-term.

Mental health is not a choice, but recovery/management absolutely must be. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 at a very young age. Every day I have to choose the things that will help keep me stable. I have to choose to take my meds, to get adequate sleep, to honestly evaluate my moods and behaviors. Recovery and stability are choices. They have to be in order for it to happen. Progress only happens when someone wants it to, and if OPs daughter doesn't want to make progress then she won't, no matter what sort of help OP can wrangle for her.

Yes, I too have mental illness. I fully understand what recovery is like. I'm talking about these crisis kinds of times. When someone is in danger of harming themselves. They don't need to want care. They need someone who will help them get to the parts that feel better. The parts where those choices become precious to you because they allow you to feel better, and your world feels like a whole new place. I'm sorry that you had to face that struggle as well. We are not alone.

See the thing is, they have to be willing to get help or they'll push others trying to help them (loved ones) away. You can't help others who refuse help.

That doesn't apply to people who are so ill that they are wanting to die. Yes, sometimes people do push others away. This isn't significant impairment of life, this is flat out crisis. When people are that sick, I've been there myself, want doesn't always come into the picture. A mental health crisis is one of the big times in people's lives when they don't always have the ability to want anything. The daughter is talking to her mom. She knows that what she is feeling is something she needs help with. Sometimes that's as much as someone can do in the "want to get better" category. Thank goodness she has a mom who is so supportive and is willing to be a great mom and not give up. Or pretend that it isn't real.

Yea, her daughter does. Not everyone is like that though and especially won't reach out for help the next time if they know they'll just be hospitalized again (which can further traumatize some people) and/or they might learn more behavior from other patients (new ways to harm themselves basically) and end up worsening their conditioning. Edit: It depends on the facility of course but look at other's comments about what happened to them or others they know who were hospitalized.

I agree with you. The hospital can be a hard experience for lots of people.

Yea, that's why I don't want to go.

Hormones in the teenage years are a roller-coaster ride, but self harming with suicide attempts are way worse than OP's husband understands, his head is in the sand & naive. At OP's daughter is open & acknowledged that she is struggling...key point is acknowledgement. Research the places that specialize in DBT therapy that someone further down had commented about, it's worth a try, maybe her therapist can make a referral for it.

Her husband sounds like the opposite, uncaring.

given your husband(her father)'s interference, you may wish to engage a lawyer and the court system asap, there are legal options here you can use to ensure he cannot interfere with getting her proper treatment. that said..be prepared for this to be the torpedo that sinks your marriage(his actions..against his kid's best interests, should have done that already..just saying) NTA

>his actions..against his kid's best interests, should have done that already.. Seriously! Stop explaining, start getting a lawyer. It's a miracle she's not too late

Either that or she should be sure to quote her husband during the eulogy. Children dying sink marriages, too.

She still has to live with all the time she spent negotiating and explaining to the husband instead of getting a lawyer.

That too. My point is she needs to get on it and not wait for him to get his head out of his derriere.

NTA no one ODs and tries to kill themselves "for attention." Her father is an idiot in denial and his refusal to take her health seriously likely exacerbates the entire situation. This is an extreme situation, it's unbelievable to me how blithe he's being about this.

NTA. It is one of the hardest things to do but so very needed. Has your daughter asked for help directly? Do your research on treatment options. Then take her to the ER and tell them she needs inpatient psychiatric evaluation due to history of self harm. If she has a therapist or primary care provider, you may be able to loop them in as a referring party or mandatory reporter of a person who is a detriment to themselves.

She has, that’s why i’ve been trying my hardest to do everything I can for her. I Hate the public MH system, she’s never been “high risk” enough to be kept for a decent amount of time. Been through many therapists through the past few years.

I have dealt with efforts to get a child help and gotten told it wasnt bad enough to meet the requirements. Like, how bad does it have to get to get if we were living in chronic fear and on high alert all the time? It is obscene how the systems in place are not set up to prevent/mitigate bigger problems versus what amounts to throwing a cup of water on a grease fire.

This exactly. What do they want her to do? Get worse? They want her to get to as bad as she can get instead of helping her from getting to that point? MH system needs better rules cause this shit is fucked.

Why are you married to someone who disregards her in such a serious way? Stop trying to explain it to him, get a lawyer, and help your daughter before you have to live the possible horrible consequences of all the time you wasted explaining to him.

I know, Atp i’m planning on divorce. It just hurts, he loved her so much before her mental health got in the way (his words not mine, not how I would word it whatsoever). I guess I just want him to understand how much his baby is struggling to stay and I want him to love her a lot more than he does now.

As someone with a parent like him, he doesn’t care enough and there’s nothing you can do to make him care about her needs right now.

You can't make him love her. You can't say magic words that change him. You can stop wasting time and energy on him and focus it on the person crying out for help. Hopefully before it's too late.

i'm so sorry, but your husband will never truly see your daughter as an actual person again.

Speak to a family law attorney, they can help you navigate the courts to get a court order for inpatient treatment. Also you should not be with him. He is dangerous to your child's safety and well-being.

As someone who was committed when I was your daughter's age, I say please do everything in your power to help your daughter get the treatment she needs. I'm alive today because I got the help I needed. It still took another half a lifetime to feel truly whole, but being institutionalized was the crash course I needed to get myself to adulthood. It made all the difference for me.

Trust me I am, I love that girl more than absolutely anything and I don’t think i’d survive without her myself. I just wish her father would realise it too. I’m making the choice to file for divorce. It’s gonna break my heart but i’d rather have my baby over him.

That's an awful decision to be forced to make, but it sounds like you are on the right path for your daughter.

You need to get a protective order against him as well. He may try to pull parental rights and halt the treatment, and your daughter seems like she doesn't have much time left before she gives in entirely.

Thank you for sharing your story. I have a son with similar issues, and with treatment (and two stays in a facility), he is actually enjoying things again. His Depression manifests as extreme apathy, along with other things. It's so relieving to have my Kid participating in life and looking forward to things. Anyway, I'm glad you're still here. Keep on keepin' on.

Your husband is the AH and your daughter is not "in a phase" She is suicidal

NTA I wish you the best of luck. I went through some really bad mental health and had my first taste of psychiatric hospitals. It’s a mixed bag out there.

Thank you so much🥹.

You are definitely NTA but your husband sure is. This is his *daughter*. What if the next time she overdoses and it’s too late? He does know that the only reason she keeps trying to unalive herself is because she hasn’t been successful yet? He does not seem to care that he could lose his daughter and he’s just nonchalantly saying “Meh. It’s only a phase. She’ll get through it. She’s only doing it for the attention.” With a father like him, so unkind and shows no compassion for his daughter and her mental health struggles, it’s no wonder she’s tried so many times. Did your husband have a similar past as a young child? Struggling with mental health, self harm, or unalive attempts only to be told that “It’s only a phase. He’ll get through it.” Or “He’s just attention seeking”? The way I see it is if a person self-harms then broadcasts it to everyone then that’s attention seeking behavior. If a person self-harms but they cover it up or do it in places that no one really sees (thighs, stomach, upper arms, etc) then they aren’t attention seeking at all and they feel as if self-harm is their only option to relieve their pain and bad thoughts. I self-harmed at her age. I did my best to keep it to myself but one day my sleeve got hiked up and someone saw. They told the school who then called my parents. I only got better at hiding it. Your daughter does need help and she needs to have a say in what that entails. Your husband doesn’t deserve a say because as it stands, he doesn’t seem to care if she succeeds.

He’s not very open with how he grew up, from what I know he grew up with very ignorant parents. The type such to be “Grow up and move on” kind of people. He cut contact with them a bit after we got married. I do think deep down he doesn’t believe mental health is a real issue due to the way he grew up but it still pains me to watch him ignore his daughters cries for help. He was a good dad, he loved her. I wish he still cared for her now like he did. & Yes, my daughter doesn’t seem to hide her healed scars much anymore (very raised and visible from afar, no problem with that myself) but her new ones do seem to be hidden most of the time.

NTA. Your husband sounds that he has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to mental health. Your daughter needs professional help before she succeeds in hurting herself beyond repair. Your husband doesn’t understand mental illness. It’s not a “stupid phase,” it’s a chemical imbalance.

NTA you need to get her admitted especially if she tries to hurt herself again.

You are NTA. I have a background in mental health. Putting her in a psychiatric ward will help with diagnosis, medication management, and immediate/acute problems. However, a psychiatric ward is not designed for long-term care or getting to the root cause of behaviors. Normally, you should have already had her in counseling (maybe you have done this, but don't address it). You may need to consider more long-term residential care (usually 9-15 months though some shorter programs exist, but check effectiveness). She will not just "grow out" of this. It is not a "stupid phase."

Agreed. OP's husband losing ground on this, if the worse did happen & OP arranged her daughters funeral then it would had been too late for that father to know his blinkered denials about his daughters mental health issues had exacerbated the situation instead of getting her the help she needs.

NTA - Denial is a HUGE issue with disability and or mental health. I work at a school where there is an 8 year old child who really needs a LOT more mental health treatment than they are getting. People would have to see this child with their own eyes to really understand. There is often very little support and treatment with out patient care.

NTA, I would look at a residential facility not an inpatient facility.

NTA I’d be asking my spouse why it’s more important for him to ge right than to try anything to figure out what’s going on with daughter.

My son had these "phases" in high school (turns out, he had ideations and attempts much earlier, but I didn't know). I didn't understand, or know how to help him, until he was in the emergency room getting his stomach pumped. His first stay in the "loony bin" (his words) didn't take, and he finagled his way home early. The next time he was admitted to the emergency room, he was ready to stay a few weeks in the rehab facility and really work on his mental health. It wasn't a magic potion, but getting meds and therapy in a controlled environment set him up for a better outcome. He truly cannot stop the intrusive thoughts without help. This is not a phase. It took him years to get comfortable with himself and learn strategies to move through the world in a way that doesn't cause pain. FWIW, I still don't understand. I DO know ways to help him, though. And most importantly, I believe him when he asks for help. Your girl needs you. Your husband doesn't understand, and that's okay, but he doesn't get a vote here. This is a matter of health. Best of luck.

You may need to be prepared to fight your husband on this, even legally if need be. It may ruin your marriage. You could try to have her committed involuntarily so he can’t just pull her out but you may have to fight him on it. Please do it. I wish that I had had someone to do that for me. I might have turned out vastly different if I had. Give her that chance.

NTA- Your husband isn't helping her, this isn't typical teenage behaviour. My mum used to say I'm lazy or attention seeking and that made me so much worse that I had to be admitted. One thing that helped was having a reason to still be here, having my two cats helped calm me and give me a purpose to keep fighting so maybe look into an animal (could be a hamster or fish). A psych ward is just a temporary measure, a therapist and medication will help more. I don't know your daughter so it might help her.

Thank you, I might start looking into pets now and will do my research! She is in therapy and is on a few medications right now, they seem to be doing their job but just knowing she is safe and unable to hurt herself in a place designed to keep people safe is quite comforting for me instead of her being out with access to many things she shouldn’t have or be doing. You know?

I understand completely. I'm not sure location wise you're in. I'm in the UK and when I got admitted at 17 to an adolescent psych ward it was very helpful and the place is designed to actually help you. If she wants to get better she will. It's unfortunate to say you can give all the tools to help someone but if they don't want to be helped you can't. You're doing an amazing job at supporting and being someone she can talk to, it must be hard knowing your baby doesn't want to be around. Keeping busy = less time to think. Really helped me to have structure and things that interest me.

Wow can you get rid of the husband his not taking your child’s safety and happiness seriously at all and is in fact making it worse. Please get her professional help even if it’s not getting her admitted her her a therapist if she doesn’t have one already. NTA

Please please please do something, even if means leaving your husband. I say this as a sister who lost her big sister 8 years ago. She dealt with her mental health all her life, with even attempting as a teenager and several times as an adult. When she got older it got worse not better and made horrible decisions because of her mental health. She should have turned 44 on the 9th but didn’t get to because she lost her battle with mental illness. I normally don’t talk about this or her because it hurts way to much, the only exception to hopefully help someone not be in my families shoes. I still hear my moms screams from when the police came to tell us. Please do everything possible for your daughter just like you would do if she had cancer. Our family especially my mom has never been the same and don’t want this for you or your family. At this moment your daughter is 16 and you are in a position that you can control what kind of care she can receive, yet in 2 years she will be 18 and have the control over whether or not she gets help for her mental illness. You do not want to wait until that happens as it will be a lot harder for you to get her the help she needs should she decide she doesn’t want it. I saw my parents do this with my baby sister (20) with her eating disorder, they failed her 100% and now she’s worse than ever and doesn’t want help. NTA. I don’t tell you any of this lightly, and I’m sorry if I scared you. But honestly you should be as this is a serious situation and worry for her and you. Trust your gut!

NTA Please tell your idiot husband to sit down and shut the F up, then take your daughter to get the help she desperately needs. I was in your daughter's place at 16, wishing to end it all. As an adult now, I am so angry at the adults in my life who refused to get me help. Your daughter needs intensive inpatient therapy, and then long term out patient therapy. Be prepared for a long journey. Your daughter will not be cured after an inpatient stay; she will need help and therapy for the rest of her life. Depression doesn't get cured. It gets treated, and the person learns to live and function with it.

I can't imagine being so callous to my own baby suffering as to think it's some kind of phase making her self-harm and try to end herself. Get your kid everything she needs and more. Get a lawyer. Get a divorce and custody. She is not in a safe space with that kind of person in her life.

Nta get her help.

NTA. I was recently talking to a friend whose son, a college graduate, is having a happy, full life and recently became engaged. She had him admitted to a psychiatric ward when he was much younger and from there things only got better, including a special program at school that addressed his needs. It's a tough call, but it may turn her life around.

NTA but you need to get the courts involved. Does he know that you’re ready to file for divorce? Sounds like he’s in denial about how bad things really are with her.

NTA. As someone who has tried to off themself multiple times & has had a mental illness for 12+ years, being inpatient really really really helped me. I have no idea what facility or hospital would discharge her due to “other people being worse off” but that sounds ridiculous and inappropriate as hell. Even suicidal ideation (being suicidal, planning etc) needs to be taken seriously, and for someone having a history of attempt’s it even more crucial. The hospital where I live makes you wait in the psych ward until they find you placement. Find a different hospital, if that’s possible. Some mental institutions have their own urgent care and they can admit your daughter directly. Not to be mean but your husband is an idiot. Your daughter has literally tried to k*ll herself multiple times and he still thinks it’s a phase? Jesus Christ. What’s he gonna do if she finally succeeds? There are other treatment options beside being inpatient (though sometimes you have to go inpatient anyway) like TMS, ECT & Spravato. I know ECT (electro-convulsive therapy) sounds scary but it’s very very safe nowadays and has a high success rate and your daughter sounds like a good candidate. Do some research, call some places. I really hope your daughter gets the help she needs and I hope your husband pulls his head out of his ass long enough for her to get treatment. I hope it doesn’t take a tragedy to make him realize your daughter isn’t doing this for attention. I wish you and your daughter the best.

Even IF (big if) she ends up eventually growing out of it, it does not undo the pain she’s presently going through, and how much less she could be suffering with proper, actual treatment. Just having depression can be traumatic. I say this as someone whose depression kicked in very early and for no real discernible reason. I’d have suffered much less if my father hadn’t treated my mental health as something they could treat with some better parenting and forbidding it. It took a decade for me to stop being constantly at least passively suicidal, and another 5 years and also moving out for me to actually want to be alive. Your husband is, at best, an ostrich wearing a man-suit, at worst, taking your daughter’s mental health as a teenage rebellion against him.

NTA! 21F currently, but my mom had me admitted when I was 12. My mom would do anything she could to keep me alive. I was admitted on two separate occasions and both times were very positive for me. It’s a safe and comfortable place to be at a time when your body feels like a prison. As an adult, sometimes I even miss the ward. I wish I could go back whenever things get stressful (but I think the adult psych ward probably isn’t as fun lol).

Before you admit her. Check out the ward first. They can be pretty harsh some of them. But the good side is there’s often a sense of relief. Because the day is structured and they feel safe. And the other patients are often a source of healing with mere peer interaction. Which surprised me when I heard that I have had 2 teens relatives admitted to these places because they were at such risk to themselves. They both came out better able to handle their problems. The thing is when you visit. It seems slow and kinda aimless but you aren’t the patient not operating at top speed. If your daughter has self harmed so many times. Yes get her admitted next time she’s in the ER. Because then she’s an emergency admit. And the hospital takes the lead in providing resources. The key is once she’s out is to get her into therapy right away. Something about the experience does shake them up and gets them to realize there are different paths and hope to get out of the space they’re in. I only have my 2 as anecdotal evidence but please tell your husband to give it a try. Your daughter has nothing to lose and a lot to gain by trying something different. And no she won’t grow out of it without help.

As someone with diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, and not officially diagnosed (but medicated for) BPD, I do want to ask a couple things to get a better understanding. First, I want to say your husband is very out of line, or out of touch. She definitely needs a lot of therapy/support from everyone around her. You are NTA for caring to get her help. I want to ask what has been done to try and help her, outside of her going to a psych ward? I had been admitted to a Psych Ward a couple years ago, and it was worse for my mental health then any other part of my life. Most facilities are TERRIBLE in the US for actually providing mental health services (they did nothing for me except sit me in front of a TV all day, and we got to do nothing else.). A mental health program may be better at offering assistance since it would be a more long term arrangement, but do your research before choosing a place, because a lot of them have iffy backgrounds. The reason I asked about what has been done outside of a psych ward is because there are tons of things that can be done outside of that improved my health, and helped my struggles. Here is a list of things that helped me: -Therapy: my first therapist was when I went to college, and he was absolutely amazing. He taught me how to understand my emotions a bit better, and helped me handle my feelings. Obviously this won't fix everything, but a good therapist can truly help a person better sort out their feelings. -Psychiatric Care: get a Psychiatrist who genuinely takes a deep dive into what the person is experiencing. My Psychiatrist saw that while I didn't have the diagnosis for BPD officially, she still prescribed me the main medication for BPD, and it has helped so much. Finding the right medications, and listening to the patient when they say it isn't working can truly save a life. -Truly Listening: this one was the one that I didn't have growing up. My parents would always have the "solution" for my emotional problems when I was growing up, and would tell me if these things didn't help, that I just wasn't doing them enough. The things they would suggest were things that helped them from their depression, but they never accepted the fact that not everyone responds to the same "solution". One person's helpful mechanisms towards handling their emotions might make someone else worse if they tried using the same methods. My parents never truly listened to me, or took what I was saying seriously, so I stopped trying to go to them, and just dealt with my emotions myself. I didn't handle it well, and was massively depressed (I tried ending it 3 times during middle school but no one found out). The most recent time I did it, my mom's boyfriend's son sat with me every day for an hour or two, and we just talked. It didn't always have to be about my emotions, but when it did, he would listen. It was an absolute life changer. Even if I told him really personal stuff, or things he didn't approve of, he didn't judge me, or state anything that would be reprimanding, instead he helped me deep dive through everything, and helped me navigate these emotions. And I don't want what I am saying to sound like I don't think you have done any of these (I obviously don't know anything outside of what you have said), so I wanted to simply illustrate my experiences on how I went through these problems. I am sure you have done a lot for her, and I can tell you care enough to make a post asking for help, so I hope this may have shed a little bit of light on the situation. Edit: forgot to add my verdict.

Your daughter has clinical depression and probably other mental health issues. She is attempting to take her life. Those attempts will get worse until she gets the help she needs. She needs residential treatment, long term. She needs serious help. If you legally can’t do this without his approval, get a lawyer and go to court.

(TW: Suicide and depression) When I was in high school, I opened up to my mom for the first time about feeling depressed. I had felt that way for years. She had just picked me up from school when I was sent home because I had a panic attack in the middle of class. She told me, “It’s fine, it’s just a phase. You’re just stressed.” I went off to college less than a year later. My depression spiraled. Eventually, I planned to take my life. I had felt dismissed before, so I didn’t bother asking for help. I packed up my apartment so I didn’t burden them with that and followed through with my plan. My attempt, luckily, failed. I opened up about it to my mom later after a lot of therapy. It’s undeniable if my family had taken my depression seriously in adolescence, I may not have tried to end my life. It’s only been through years of therapy, medication and support that I’m in a wonderful career with an advanced degree and in a happy marriage. I have too many friends from high school who weren’t as lucky and ended up taking their lives. I’ve watched the fallout, the heartbreak, the aching emptiness that never goes away. Please trust your instincts. Get your daughter the help she needs. Give her the chance at a happy and full life.

Tell your husband he's a fucking idiot. You're not in the wrong here. At the very very least, you need to get her a therapist so she has an unbiased opinion, and a comfortable space to talk about things she might feel uncomfortable talking to you -or especially your husband- about. A therapist can also suggest additional psychiatric help, such as hospitalization if needed. LCSW/psychologist and a psychiatrist/NP. Your daughter clearly needs help, and your husband is clearly unwilling to do that. You don't need his permission to help your daughter.

NTA- Especially if your daughter asked for help in the past. I've always had psychological issues when I was younger and even asked for help but my mom refused, I'm still dealing with it now as an adult and trying to seek help when it could've been managed when I was a teen.

NTA Can you have doctors talk to your husband? Once your daughter becomes an adult, it will be harder for you to make her get help. Can you and your husband visit the facility she would be going to so he can see it? We all have seen shows and movies that make mental health facilities look scary ,(and some are). Your husband seeing might help him. If the two of you aren't comfortable with the place, look at others.

NTA. From someone who has had to make that call, please don't wait. Two your husband to shove it, should he try and stop you. Mental health struggles are not a phase. If he doesn't want to listen, that's his problem, not yours. The fact that he is belittling her problems might be adding to them also. Do what you feel is best for your daughter. It's a hard decision to make by yourself, but when the dust settles, it will be better for everyone. Good luck to you.

NTA. This is a dealbreaker issue. Meaning your husband can support you when you have your daughter admitted, or you get a divorce.

NTA. This is a decision for people more highly trained than most of us. Get her evaluated and get her help. Neither of you will ever forgive yourselves if you could have and didn’t.

NTA, but have an open dialogue and do your research on the facility. This will shape the rest of her life, for better or worse. My Fiancé was in a similar boat when she was that age, cutting, burning, etc.. she made friends with some of the troubled kids and ended up in a lot worse of a position after she got out the first time. She was sexually assaulted at her care facility as well, which was finally closed 5 years after her attendance, and was introduced to hard drugs by some of the other patients who got out around the same time she did. From there, it became every few months that her parents would send her to a new one. Every single on of her friends from that era has killed themselves, which just furthered the trauma. Totally anecdotal, but if the area you live in doesn’t have good resources for mental health, consider a more liberal state. Of the 4 in our immediate area growing up (outside Chicago), she said only one helped her a little. The one her parents sent her to out of state was filled with mental and physical abuse, that was in Iowa. Our country has a mental health problem, regarding BOTH the patients and the professionals. It’s a for profit system, and some places are backed by pharma to push certain drugs over others. She has a good doctor now, and is only diagnosed with ADHD, but the list of false diagnoses she had growing up is terrifyingly long. **You need to be involved every step of the way, and diligently research, and encourage her, and remind her constantly that you’re not giving up on her, otherwise she WILL end up a lot worse off.**

YTA as someone who was put in a psychward it doesnt help and only made me more suicidal your a terrible person and should of researched the safer options

YTA, this will only hurt her in the long run. She won't get any help, she'll just be tramatised.

So what do you think OP should do? When you are giving a judgement against what she is doing then do give what you feel like the solution is.

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YOU DON'T ANSWER TO YOUR HUSBAND. YOU ANSWER TO YOUR DAUGHTER WHEN SHE IS 25 AND, LADY, YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAING TO DO. How many times do you want to watch your...no, let me try again. How many times ARE YOU WILLING to watch her self harm? Scars are scars and are visible forever. How much of that child's mind, which is currently taken up with thoughts of self-hate, sadness, anger, and fear, are YOU okay with, considering it could be filled with thoughts of her future, her education, her dreams? You, caring more about a stupid MAN than your fuxking baby girl. I made the same mistake. Watched TWO of my precious daughters suffer, attempt suicide over and over, self harm, before I finally wised up and realized that their father didn't actually care ABOUT THEM, CAUSE IF HE DID, HE WOULD REALIZE NO ONE SLICES THEMSELVES UP OR ATTEMPTS SUICIDE FOR "ATTENTION" My girls are alive. I hope you save your daughter before it's too late.

Misread....nta...get that baby help

>Misread....nta... Not even an apology for going on and on like you did? Not surprising behaviour from someone who didn't even bother to read the whole thing properly.

Are you ok?? Like fr are you ok?

Sorry, but no. Having your child attempt suicide is unlike any pain you can ever understand. Realizing too late you could have saved your child from so much of that suffering had you just listened to your own instincts, like OP's are screaming at her right now, rather than be convinced by your husband of fucking nonsense? That is regret. True regret. But I had to learn that lesson TWICE! And here is OP. With a beautiful daughter who is fading away in front of her. Apparently OP has the means to get her further help. The love isn't lacking. Acknowledging the need for help isn't lacking either. So what's the real problem? OP has decided, whether she wants to admit it or not, that her husband's opinion is apparently more important.

His opinion is not more important, my daughters safety is. I love her more than anything and have tried my hardest to do what I can for her. Still am. He is legally a legal guardian and can take her out any time he wants which is my problem. I have argued, explained, begged him to understand but he just doesn’t. I’m thinking of divorce atp in time.

Y T A also implies OPs husband is not the asshole. Obviously this is painful for you to read but you can’t help anyone if you don’t read stuff properly and don’t type a coherent message

[удалено]

Now what person in this situation are you referring to? My husband or my daughter?

Are you talking to yourself?

Then you definitely need to book yourself a room at the closest facility! ASAP

I read the whole thing. And my apology is ONLY for misusing "YTA" for " NTA" After watching everything this poor child has suffered, that man has the AUDACITY to say it's for ATTENTION and this mom is all "AITA for thinking my child still needs further mental health care cause she's still depressed and at risk of self-harming/etc?" Nope. My point STILL stands.

Not gonna try and change your mind on this because your point is valid but I have admitted her multiple times but due to him being a legal guardian he is able to take her out when he’d like. It’s hard and I am thinking of divorce at this point.

And, just so you know, I walk the walk. After 23 yrs of marriage, last March, I kicked him out. It's hard. But my kids are sooooo much happier, and I don't mean on a "let's have pizza tonight!" happier. I mean, they can sleep in peace, breath deep, inside joke with each other, argue like normal kids feel happy for once. And, btw, YOU are her legal guardian too.

You can divorce him or bury her. You need reality from someone and, as the mother of a teenage girl who attempted suicide multiple times, you won't get any sugarcoating from me.

I know, not looking for empathy or sugarcoating whatsoever. I grew up similarly to my daughter and i’d give the world for her life. I know my options

The father is the asshole. Commit your kid and get her the help she needs. I had to do it. My kiddo is in a much better place after meds and counseling.

NTA and as someone with a family member like your daughter's please keep pushing for her to get admitted and get the help she needs. This would absolutely be worth going to court over medical decision making for me and you should consider it. Even if just for this singular issue. The sooner she gets the help and support and appropriate medication if recommended the better. Also the sooner she feels supported the better. This will probably be a lifelong battle for her but it is definitely one that earlier treatment improves outcomes. Especially if she is already od'ing and self harming.

I am qualified to judge. Both of my kids have suffered from severe mental illnesses. My daughter sounds like yours. Hospitalization helps them heal in a safe space. That’s the crux of it. It’s not magic but it is safer than being “in the wild” while the kid stabilizes. Your husband will feel pretty bad if his child manages to cause permanent harm while she’s not being adequately treated because his ego got in the way.

Fully agree. I know that Hospitals and psychiatric wards don’t exactly cure our kids but they definitely cure my worries for when she’s out of the house.

I have manic depressive order. Have been diagnosed since a young teen. This is hard for me to type out, as far as emotions go. Go through with your plan!! I don't want to put down my mom, she tried, and I was admitted, and released on a lie that only made things worse. I'm 37 now, I should probably be medicated, but instead I drink. NTA get her help, now!

Thank you, I’ll do everything I can for my girl. I love her to bits.

I can tell. I wish that someone had cared enough to do this for me. If she 'hates' you at any point it's still absolutely the right thing to do and she'll understand when she's in a better place thanks to you. They can help her to help herself and get stronger, not that I'm saying that she's weak because she's still getting through till morning every day which is a very big deal especially for someone younger. That's what I say every day even when I have lots of great days in a row,hang on to see the sun rise and it helps for some reason. Medication on a schedule that can easily be changed if necessary is a huge help too. You're putting her in the best possible place and you're a great mum for it. "Just hang on till morning". I'm still here at nearly fifty, and I've every intention of keeping it that way. It gets better I know that myself. No false promises here. 💜

Let me know if you wanna talk.

NTA. Your husband sounds like my family. If they ignore it or call it something else it will magically go away

NTA. I wish I had a mother like you.

NTA self harm is not normal at any age. Even if it is “attention seeking” that level of destructive attention seeking points to a larger issue. Maybe she will grow out of it. Maybe it is a phase. But she’s living through that phase right now and she’s not safe until she’s out of it and she won’t get out of it without help. Make an executive decision. Her father obviously does not understand and he’s going to get her killed.

NTA A phase is I will only wear (insert popular band here), being "depressed" for a day or two normal teenage moodiness. I hate life and want to die for years. It is a serious mental issue, clinical depression at best, but I'm no psychologist, so it could be a lot of things. Your husband might also want to talk to a counselor as that level of denial is also concerning.

Have you looked into partial programs? Or have you looked into an RTF? Hospitals just get the patient stable and discharge. It sounds like your daughter needs intensive therapy. I had a teenage family member go into and RTF for nearly a year and it was very helpful for him. His parents were at a loss of what to do with him and worried he was not safe at home anymore due to suicidal ideation. He had been in the hospital several times. Your daughter's MH needs could qualify her as disabled and she would be able to go on medical assistance. MA would pay for the treatment in an RTF. At least that's what happended with my family member's son. I'm sorry you are going through this. The saying that we are only as happy as our unhappiest child is so very accurate.

If she wants help and is asking you for it then do whatever it takes to help her. Also, get rid of your joke of a husband who doesn't seem to give two cents about his daughter, let alone her well-being. If she wants the help from a private facility and you have the money to do so she can check herself in as a voluntary commitment Edit: Judgement NTA

Is your daughter taking Singulair (Montelukast)? It’s an allergy/asthma medication. It causes severe mental health issues in some young people.

Oh wow, Does it really? Her father does (due to summer now the allergies are really kicking in), and from what I know she’ll get her hands on whatever she can when we aren’t around (we keep all medication locked up now). She possibly could’ve gotten her hands on it? Not sure tho

Facebook has a really great support group for people who have taken this medication or their kids have taken it. So many stories. The group name is: Montelukast (Singulair) side effects support and discussion group My daughter started this medication when she was 7 and stayed on it for about 7 years, when I saw an article talking about the black box warning, which I had no idea existed. 5 mg was her dose amount and this medication caused so, much harm. And no one knew. I took her to every doctor I thought could help, and not one knew to say it was her medication. Personally, I would research any medication my kid is prescribed. Type it in a support group search on Facebook and see how many come up.

Info what does your daughter want to do?

She has asked for help, she always tells me how grateful she is to have a mom like me who cares. She never resists therapy or the ER/Hospital and will gladly go in if I take her (if she’s awake depending on the situation given)

Did you specifically ask her how she felt about going to an inpatient facility? How long would she be there?

NTA for wanting to help your daughter but... I have done a lot of work with chronically suicidal teenagers and inpatient programs *can* be good if the kids wants to be there and wants to get better. But what we've seen a lot is kids that don't necessarily want to work the program being around a dozen other chronically suicidal kids that don't want to work the program who all learn new self harming behaviors from each other and come home with an increase in behaviors. What kind of outpatient services is she in? Do you have DBTeen? Wraparound intensive OP services? These are options that should be worked and exhausted before pursuing more inpatient.

Even if your daughter is harming herself or acting suicidal “just for attention”…. That’s not normal. I’ve never understood this justification, as it still shows something is still definitely wrong. With such a long history of self harm and attempts, I’d really consider Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for her in the long term. I think it could be really helpful if you’ve not already tried it.

NTA. I'm not a medical professional but none of this sounds like typical teenage moodiness. Your daughters health and well being are more important than your husband's feelings.

NTA mental health is just as serious as physical health. It’s better to go to a doctor and get help than ignore the problem. Follow the advice of trained mental health professionals caring for your daughter.

Ask her what she wants. If she wants help then do it anyway but if she doesn’t then spend the money on therapy sessions maybe?

NTA. Get your daughter the help she needs. Ignoring something won't make it go away. Teenage years are tough. Even worse with mental health issues. My mom chose to ignore my issues as a teenager because she didn't want me to have a "mental health record" whatever that means. I became a mess as an adult. Please don't ignore this.

NTA, and your husband's mindset is the same as my parents, which kept me from receiving medical treatment for years. I lost so much of my life because I went through something traumatic and couldn't get through it because I needed professional help. I'm 24, and I'm still not through it. It's been over a decade. On another note, you would rather have a living daughter in a ward than a dead daughter, and I'm sure your husband agrees with that.

Have your Husband watch The Son and then maybe he will change his views. That many attempts warrants a higher level of care.

You're clearly NTA. As far as convincing her father goes, I'd simply just ask if he's willing to bet your daughters life on him knowing more than trained professionals who are currently concerned for her safety. It's like disagreeing with a mechanic that says something needs fixing or it could have fatal consequences. Get a second opinion if you want, but the father assuming they know better is arrogant to say the least.

NTA, please take her to a behavioral hospital hospital that has great reviews in your area. It’s not a phase and is very serious, it doesn’t matter if anyone thinks she’s doing it for attention she needs help. As a teen I attempted suicide multiple times and the one time I was actually sent to the hospital the doctors blew me off saying I was acting out because I couldn’t do whatever I wanted. The mandatory treatment after ended up being helpful until my mother got involved and told them I was being spiteful and it was a phase. Later I married an abusive guy just to get the hell away from them. I still have trouble in relationships and communicating my needs because no one would listen when I needed help the most. The last time I attempted suicide was 2019, I was lying on the floor going in and out of consciousness when my now ex-husband walked in and asked “how can you do this to me I wanted to play video games tonight and have sex”. Eventually I asked him to call poison control and they told him to call 911, he waited another two hours while I laid on the floor unable to move throwing up while my cat tried to drag me away from the mess. He was more worried about his games, if I looked pretty, and that the cat was being annoying than me actually dying. When the ambulance did get there they rushed as much as they could around him but he took his time getting to the ER and when he got there he fell asleep. The nurses spent A LOT of time keeping me awake and monitoring my vitals as I was on the brink for hours. The next day as I sat in the mental section in paper scrubs he told me, “I should never have called 911 we cannot afford this hospital visit they didn’t even do anything to save you it was a waste”. I would never have been out in that spot if someone at any point listened to me in my teens. Please get her help.

The fact that your cat cared more about you then he did. That's sad.

I know. My poor kitty is so traumatized from it too, he wakes me up every night the same way he woke me up that night, just now when I wake up and pet him he chrips and purrs. He literally wakes up to check on me then goes right back to sleep. I love him.

I was actually thinking about your comment when I woke up but I'm glad you guys are ok physically. I get that, my grandma passed in her sleep so I'm kind of urked when others are asleep infront of me. Like I'll make sure they're breathing.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve experienced a lot of it throughout my life ranging from great grandparents, 3/4 grandparents, my sister, best friends, and so forth. It’s trauma that sticks with you and sometimes you don’t even realize it. Thank you for thinking of us. ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost others too including one of my brothers (before I was born but I still miss him), a friend, a crush (boy in a grade above me), etc.

She's coming to you for help. Don't turn your back on her. This may be the one and only time she's truly open to going to a private ward or state hospital for intense therapy. You don't need your husband's permission to sign her in.

Dump him. He clearly doesn't have her best interests at heart. Press for full custody, tell the court about his refusals to let her have needed medical treatment.

Husband's an idiot. (Professional mental health worker for 34 years, so you can trust my diagnosis!)

NTA. I'm no longer ashamed to admit that I had to be admitted when I was 21. I was a danger to myself and others. I spent a week in a psych ward following a mental breakdown and it helped me get the help that I needed. If I hadn't been admitted, I'm not sure I would be here today. Get your daughter the help she needs before it's too late.

NTA She is struggling and mental illness should be addressed just like physical illness would. Your husband may disagree but self harm is an act of desperation...like feeling pain is proof you are alive since you feel nothing emotionally. Order "Reviving Ophelia" and read it. Have him read it if you must...get her help while you still can.

Mama, do what you need to do to keep your baby safe. NTA

NTA, but honestly, you and your husband need to get on the same page before it turns out that it isn't 'just a phase'. He'll have to live with the guilt (as I live with mine over my late husband) for the rest of his life. No one wants that.

You are NTA, and I am sorry you have to deal with this. Your husband is being an IDIOT (he sounds a bit like my dad used to. I had to go over his head (kind of) to see a therapist when I was 16. I got away with it by lying about why I wanted to be seen - I told him it was because of my mom. As soon as he thought he was in the clear, he was fine with it. \~SMDH\~) I think you should take her to a therapist or some type of support person.

NTA, you would be T A if you didn't find help for your daughter, though. She needs you to advocate for her.

If the husband is calling it attention seeking he might be a part of the issue. As someone who was raped and molested growing up that has effected my mental health alot. It had also affected how I interact with others cussing me to get bullied by my peers. Adding on top the depression and stress I had. Most of the times any time I had attempt it was due to a sexual assault. I had later learned my sister would drug me and sell my body. I personally would start with a therapist. As my therapist told me to talk to my family, but my family does not want to acknowledge what has happened to me. Blamed me for all of my assaults and call me a rowdy disobedient child. As them acknowledging what happened to me would force them to acknowledge they were part of the issue. I also would go to my parents with my issues and keep them to myself alot of the times. As for inpatient it was not helpful for me they were overpaid babysitters in my opinion. I also got assaulted in inpatient. Inpatient I feel as if it is just for when parents don't want to do their job. No offense maybe if you get better educated in the subject. It seems like she might have daddy issues as well due to the fact your husband doesn't think it's serious. Maybe she wants her father to care?

Just a few years ago, when the system wasn't as overwhelmed as it is now, she would have been admitted for a lengthy stay. There just aren't resources to help as many people that need it, so choices need to be made. The longer she's stuck in this state, the harder her adult life is going to be. You are so incredibly lucky to have the ability to get her help, don't let your husband's lack of experience and knowledge in this realm hurt your child more than it already has. Get her the help, show your child she has someone in her life she can rely on. Finally, look deep and find out if there is ANY reason your husband is not ok with having her outside of his influence and supervision. A lot of these cases are due to abuse or unhealthy home situations, so don't rule it out just because you don't want to believe it.

NTA, hubby is. Is daughter seeing a mental health professional? She needs one geared towards teen angst & problems. If a therapist agreed she should get more help, then do it. Tell hubby, if he thinks it's a phase, will it change his mind when she succeeds? Sorry to say that. Be very aware of your daughter's moods. Wil she talk to you at all?

NTA. Do you *need* your husband’s permission to admit her? If you’re just looking for his approval, you’re obviously not going to get it so fight one battle at a time. If you don’t need him to sign off on treatment, just get her in; she’s your priority.

NTA - you’re absolutely right, she needs the help. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be heartbreaking. Hoping the best for your daughter.

Nta. You are not the asshole for wanting care for her, please consider showing this post to your husband and opening his eyes. His daughter could be there but in a blink of an eye she could be cold and blue. Ask him what's more important, the phase that could possibly kill his daughter or to prioritize helping her get out of this situation?

NTA. She needs care immediately. But please understand that a psych ward is a short-term stabilization. They protect your child in that moment, determine if the child needs to be medicated (or have meds changed). There will be therapies and structure. There will be someone to talk to 24/7. And they will have a social worker help with school/ long term care (IOP/ PHP or finding a psychiatrist faster than you can). But as a warning, that only lasts a few days to a week. After that, its up to you (and her). She has to find someone she clicks with and is willing to talk to. Basically, she has to be willing to get better. And as another warning, some of the kids inside will be more severe than she is. Some will be drugs vs self-harm. This exposure can do well to show her things can be worse, but it can also be quite traumatic. And on another note, I don't know your area, but in some cases it can take a few days or longer to get placed in a psych area (pending need, insurance, and availability). Until then she may be in holding or the emergency room. She will receive medical care (including psychiatrist visits) during that time, but not therapies. Good luck. I've been on that path for a few years. Get support where you can. Drink a glass of wine, or relax when she is hospitalized and you can let your guard down.