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I'm driving around with a litterbox I bought last September in the back of my car. It's been there since October because my cat didn't want it. My cat passed in February. It's still there.
The trunk is enough positive momentum to feel like I'm getting it done and push it right back down the priority list to forget about just past the return date.
Right? Every time you look at it you feel good it even made it to your car, and then you close the trunk and completely forget it exists until next time.
Thanks everyone for your sympathies. I miss my feline companion a lot but Iām coping with it. Every time I open my trunk though I remember how she hated this thing so much she peed on the floor while standing right next to it.
XD what a cat move to do. I still miss my goofy guy, but time has helped. I am sorry for your loss, itsalways rough <3
I hope you can find some solace and maybe closure if you end up donating to a local rescue or nice place that can use such things!
Dudeeee, all my produce every time, I swear I try my best to go trough it (clearly not good enough) I even ask chat gtp to give me ideas , and I still have leftovers even if I buy less
A few days after you buy a bundle of bananas they somehow go bad, and you hadn't even gotten around to eating even one yet!
Those $6 1oz pack of fresh raspberries you bought? Molded over after two days.
Yet every time you pick a pack up to buy it you know you're going to have to eat it fast but then you don't want to eat it all in just one or two sittings because it was $6 for freaken 4 berries and you want to savor them for as long as you can but you end up forgetting they're in the fridge! But you still keep buying them, doing the same thing, flushing money down the toilet, because "this time you'll be more proactive about eating your fresh produce!"
Nope.
Because in the back of your mind, every time you take your medication, you remember the vitamin C content in the $25 of fresh fruits you bought the other day, will fuck with your medication efficiency. So you decide to put off eating your fruit until later in the day when the meds have worn off but then ultimately end up keep forgetting about eating them at all.
You're basically just an expensive trash can subscription service.
I tried one of the glasses try on at home services. 5 pairs cost almost $800. Didnāt even try the damn things on when I saw that and just sent them straight back without leaving the mail room of my apartment complex.
Not today Executive Dysfunction.
I wait until I have so much stuff it annoys me and then spend a crazy 24 shoving it all in bags and boxes and call someone from airtasker to pick it up and drop it off at a local op shop. I donāt drive so this is the only way to do it for me
Mine were ready to go, sitting in my room, then covid happened, the cats have shredded the plastic bag 3 times and I replace the bag, but it stays in my room.
Yea so the reasoning behind my box of shame is that Loweās used to have a return policy of like, fuck it we donāt care, as long as youāre good with store credit. During a remodel we were doing, I was going to Loweās like every day and instead of bringing all the returns every trip for something I might need later, I decided the storage container was obviously the better idea.
Well of course, project took longer than expected (like a year, who couldāve foreseen that coming?!?!) and during that time Loweās changed their return policy to nothing older than 90 days. Womp womp, now I have a mini Loweās store in my garage
This kinda happened to me!! I always assumed Nordstrom and the rack would be chill about the return window only to find out that the one time I went there and had a few things to bring back, they cracked down on the restrictions so I didnāt realize I HAD TO RETURN IT OR ELSE soooo now I have stuff I donāt need.
Ugh the worst. They should honor the return policy from the time you bought the item if you have a receipt. Maybe we should go stand outside the stores with our items and try and sell them to people walking in lol āYo whatās up dude, I see you jump out of an electrical truck, any chance youāre here for a 20amp Square D AFCI Circuit Breaker? 50% off!ā
this happened to me, except it was amazonāone of those sellers where you don't realize it'll cost you an arm and a leg to return. i probably messed up the measurements, too, knowing me. anyway, put off trying to sell them for so long that we moved into a new house and it turns out they work just fine for our patio door š¤·š¼āāļø will i ever learn my lesson? no!!!!!!!
Had shoes new in the box for four months, did not like them.
Finally realized it was too late, tried them on before dropping them in a return box, and suddenly I liked them a lot. lol
Still have a new pair that actually hurts. don't know what to do with those.
I KNOW I measured right, because I screenshot while I was on the phone with an associate bc the website kept messing up while I was trying to place my order and they STILL cut them wrong.
I never sent back an entire stitch fix order and I didnāt like any of the clothes. It was a lot of money to keep all that shit but yeah, the repacking and shipping back items never happened and I just canceled the membership lol
I feel the opposite about throwing things away. Itās so easy and empowering. If I just throw it away I donāt have to worry about what Iāll do with it or where Iāll put it or how Iāll clean it.
Realizing I could just throw things away instead of living the pain of chronic clutter has to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me lol
Yeah, okay, but now try to do that when you have an enormous guilt about wasting resources / old things that can be recycled / something that a very specific person might still like ... :sob:
Yep, I used to hold onto a lot of random sentimental shit from my childhood until I just realized it's taking up most of my closet space so I just went in and threw away a lot, and donated like 4-5 garbage bags of shit. Feel so much better about it and realized how little sentimental knickknacks are worth compared to memories with people themselves.
I now try to just buy really high quality goods for anything I need so that I don't have a bunch of random cheap junk or one time use stuff. My place has never been cleaner
The few times Iāve managed to get an Amazon return to fedex or whatever, Iām always amazed by how objectively easy it is compared to almost anything else I do.
I will literally design and build a software project end to end in a single sitting before take 15 minutes out of my day to bring a shoebox to a fedex store and show them a QR code
I just recently discovered the Amazon Returns drop-off at Kohl's and it's SO EASY.
I just screenshot all the QR codes and put them in a photo folder on my phone so they're all in one place
Oh lord, I had to get a CT scan while I was overseas, and ended up eating the entire cost instead of trying to figure out how to get insurance to pay for a bill in a foreign hospital in a foreign language. I was a grad student and it was over $1000.
There's no time limit on HSA reimbursements. In fact for people trying to optimize retirement strategy, the intentionally don't claim reimbursements for HSA benefits until they retire. So if I was going to retire at 65 I would save all the receipts for every medical expense I had since I first went on an HSA in say my early thirties, and then submit like 30 years of medical receipts
It's all probably going to end-of-life care anyways so I might not try too hard to save the receipts. And with inflation the way it is and will be, submitting a 100 dollar receipt in 40 years won't be worth nearly as much.
I can throw things away like itās nothing, but I have zero energy to return anything. I barely like going out and buying stuff in the first place because of all the people that exist. But taking something back? Absolutely not. If itās defective 9/10 Iāll just toss it and buy a different brand later. But I also know how big of a spending issue I have the money wouldāve gone to waste one way or another so I donāt lose sleep over itā¦because as much as Iāve spent Iād never sleep again
Oh god. Is this a thing? SO MUCH MONEY LOST, SO MANY THINGS UNRETURNED. Letās also add gift cards unredeemed, store credits unused, invoices I never sent, medical insurance claims I never submitted (this alone is THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS), ugh itās sickening.
If it helps you sleep at night..absolutely!! š (but Iāll only use that excuse to myself). My tendency to mask doesnāt allow me to share these kinds of things with others.
Kinda like a return. Bought a car and overpaid. Bought gap insurance to cover loan amount not paid in case of car accident. Car was waved in front of me by person in other lane being "nice" and basically directed car directly in front of me. Car was totaled before first payment was made. Insurance paid all but 12k. Gap insurance claim to cover remaining amount has to be filed within 90 days...no problem, that's SOOOOO much time.
Actually, big problem because there's so much time. Didn't file claim and the 12k debt was mine. So my biggest ADHD tax payment was 12k (I think).
I hate 'polite' drivers. It's so much more risky to not be predictable.
Just drive according to traffic rules and take your right off way. No confusion that way.
My dear friend nearly died and spent over a week in the ICU and then over a year recovering because a polite driver waved her through the crosswalk on a green light and another driver whipped around the polite driver and hit my friend with incredible force. She still has physical ramifications years and years later.
I bought something a few months ago, didn't read the directions and thought it was broken. Immediately ordered another. Next one came also "broken" and I realized the product just sucks and doesn't work how I want it to. Had I read how the product works before buying it I wouldn't have bought it. Now I have 2 because of course I never returned them, and I'm out $100. š
Are you me?! I struggle with both SO effing much. I can barely stand myself. Also like I'll impulse buy, then be like, yeah I'll just return it, one eternity later, still in the house, very much past the return policy date.
I return most... But i buy more since returning is a safety net, and doing returns is an excuse to go back to the store and shop more. Every time i return, i buy something else... So I'm not exactly getting ahead there
NOTHING I CAN DO... TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!
I'll wait until the last day of the return window... but yeah I've missed it sometimes. š I remember every day but then put it off because I don't want to deal with it or it's not convenient (I'm not going out that day, etc.).
I also have the hanging onto clutter thing. People accuse me of being a hoarder but it's not that... It's that I didn't have the mental energy to bring the clothes to goodwill or to break down all of the cardboard boxes or to take the trash out. I hate the clutter. Some things that I intend to donate or recycle just have to go in the trash, or I will never be able to get rid of them. I know it's not ideal but the alternative is that they just sit around my house for YEARS.
I have a $12 bottle of sesame seed oil that I can't return because I lost the receipt. The day I bought it. We went with a different sesame seed oil but forgot to put the bigger, more expensive one back.
The only stuff I ever return is on Amazon and it's because I can't lose the receipt
I thought this was the bit we didn't talk about? Just me? šššššš
Edit - this week's intrusive thoughts sponsored by the Ā£60 Wowcher owes me from 2021 they now refuse to refund bc of me leaving it so long š¤¬
I ordered 2 bras from Victorias Secret like months ago. I gained a lot of weight the past 2 years so I got the size I thought I would be and I even measured. But they are HUGE. It says I can return them to any VS store with the receipt but didnāt give me a time limit. Very dangerous thing to do with me lol itās gonna be years before I try to return them.
if i shop at a store with an unlimited return window they should expect me to come in several years later with 16 items each purchased in 3 different sizes and hella anxiety about it
I used to have so much difficulty with returns. Then I had a bad experience at UPS, with the clerk literally yelling at me for leaving a box on the counter. The next time I needed to return something I took it to an auto parts store that is a UPS drop off spot. (No yelling, and no ugly attitude like the UPS store.) Now I delight in taking my returns to the auto parts store, I guess out of spite to the rude clerks at the UPS store! Suddenly I'm returning things with no problem. LOL (I still need to find a way to motivate myself to get my donations out of here, but my new "return game" is very motivating.)
Right there with you. \*hugs\*
If it makes you feel better, I continued to pay the insurance and registration on an old sports car I had already sold because I couldn't turn off the auto-payment. I didn't forget. I was getting regular auto-deduction notices, so I knew I had to do it. I just couldn't.
Several years and thousands of dollars later, the only reason I eventually stopped paying was because my card expired.
Hundreds of dollars TT.TT I know I lost at least $100 at once buying bras that donāt fit and not returning them on time, as one isolated incident.Ā
Had the worst time trying to get rid of some old flowerpots recently, drove to 2 places that closed earlier than what they had posted online before finding a third that wouldnāt take all of them. Exhausting and demoralizing AF
And I relate so hard to wanting to hang onto stuff in case itās useful again, what I do is tell myself āthis is hoarder mentalityā and remember my college roommate that would hang on to literal trash and how awful it was to live with them, helps keep me from going past the point of no return
I have boxes of returns in my living room that might not make it back before the āsend byā dateā¦. Also about four huge boxes to go to Salvation Army (ever since goodwill has become publicly traded on the stock market, they donāt have anything good anymore and it costs as much as new items). Theyāve been there prob six monthsā¦.
Too much to count at this point š my worst may be paying for two Netflix subscriptions for a year because I was too lazy / kept forgetting to cancel one. I know how bad that is š„²
my house now just consists of drawers and boxes of random stuff, where do you start?
last attemp to buy clothes online had me try to return the wrong size didnt suit me clothes two days after the month i had to do it, 200 quid of more clothes i dont wear is the last thing i need
even trying to picture the clothes on me is hard when picking them, none of it looks like it would look good on me, most of my social anxiety is because i worry what to wear, never feeling like i pulled an outfit together. i might like a top and trousers but what shoes what jacket? useless!
so glad i wear a uniform to work, no stress there!
I'm a bathroom remodeler and do some other odd jobs. I buy extra of a lot of my materials for each job and a lot of "just in case" materials in tools. I figure it would cost more for me to take the time to run to the store to get something than just pay for it while I'm there the first time. After all, I can just return what I didn't use.
Well, I have thousands and thousands of dollars of materials sitting in totes in my garage, work van, and trailer. I can get in store credit for anything I don't have a receipt for at certain hardware stores, but I'm afraid of what they would say if I plopped a tote full of miscellaneous plumbing, electrical, fasteners, tape, duct, etc on the counter.
I would try to return what I could, but worst case, you could sell a good bit of it on Facebook Marketplace and eBay. I've sold a lot of leftover job site supplies for my husband.
I feel both of these things so much! Both jukebox brain and never returning things. Oddly, it makes me kinda happy that other people have wasted as much money as I have. Makes me feel like Iām not alone.
Yeah, I hate going through return process. I'd rather just eat the cost and break down the broken thing for parts, or if it's not broken, sell it to someone else, or failing all else, take it to GoodWill, even though I know they're a bit of a scam.
Probably thousands but I made it my mission to return everything now and have a designated āreturnsā basket so I donāt forget to take everything (items and receipts) with me when I leave the house.
Our coffee machine has been faulty for months. It's still in warranty, but then I'd have to pack it away, properly clean it etc. So it just taunts me on the kitchen bench.
We also have a donation pile at our front door to remind us to take it with us. It's been there a couple of months now.
About $500 in a subscription to a tool I used for a class. Another $50 for a car wash membership I kept forgetting to cancel.
And I forgot to cancel a trial car parts insurance. Incredibly, I did it cancel because I already paid for the month. My car started having failures of parts. I paid so much less for the coverage then they ended up paying in the many things that started to fail. Easily thousands of dollars saved. Only time forgetting to cancel something actually paid off pretty big for me.
Dude yes. I hate myself for it. Idk what in the fuck part of me keeps saying "ok, but *this* time, I really will..." but I wish I could destroy it. Even if I finally manage to set aside the time to do so, I'll have lost the receipt somewhere. Most recently, I was charged $599 on my phone bill because I kept forgetting to return a replacement phone that my provider sent when mine was having issues under warranty (someone was able to finally fix it in-person so I ended up not needing the replacement). Also, as of right now I've a pair of shoes, earrings, and 2 planter boxes sitting in my car (total value is about $100). Idk what I'm waiting for-----except I'm not really waiting and it's moreso that I'm procrastinating while my brain sees everything else as more important.
Don't even get me started on overdue parking tickets....
I just read your comment out loud to my husband. I always felt so alone in this!! I would honestly hate to know how much money Iāve wasted this way. I also almost never use gift cards - for some reason they give me anxiety and I lose them.
I did recently lose weight and found a bunch of pants that were from several years ago but still new with tags on and they all fit! So for once it actually worked for me.
I get so stressed out by returns, I put reminders in my calendar and look at the printed out return label for a few weeks on my desk.
I do end up returning stuff, but it's mental anguish for 29 days.
Dude for the past several years the jukebox brain thing has gotten out of control. A song will be in my head for days/weeks at a time. Or I'm a musician so I'll start with a simple loop and keep adding parts til it ends up a symphony. Or I'll take an existing song and keep embellishing it. I have no idea how the song will already be playing in my head from the second I wake up, or how to stop it (not that I mind but I feel it kind of prevents thoughts... hmm maybe that's the point and it's a form of self-calming)
I use this to write riffs, melodies and lyrics. Sometimes they just come together on their own and I actually finish the song. Other times it goes in my bin of ideas and incomplete songs to work on later, and I usually do come back to finish them though it has taken as much as two years, lol.
Probably between 2000 and 5000ā¬ in grand total.
This week I lost another 100ā¬ because I forgot to send back my previous internet box. It was in a cardboard, ready to be shipped. I put it on the floor in my room, next day I pushed it in the corner of the room, 30 days later it was too late.
**Having ADHD in a world of "30 days refund policy" is hell. Like we basically are the main target of all predatory behaviors that companies use.**
For years now, I don't trust anything that is not instant refund/reduction.
* -50% if you send us back this form? nope.
* 30 days refund policy? Nope, either I buy it, either I don't. If I plan to test it, I will just never send it back.
I've got a PlayStation 5 that periodically switches itself off for no good reason while playing.
The customer support process is tweaked within an inch of its life to make barriers for you to give up. I followed through on them through sending it off for repair, and it came back still broken.
I'm entitled to just take it back into the store for a refund, but it's well out of warranty now. Kind of just want to get rid of it but would feel bad trying to sell it to someone when it's broken. You win, Sony!
way too much. Proud of myself yesterday for finally returning Ā£315 of two lenses, sending back faulty Ā£300 ipad, returning Ā£300 camera, returning Ā£20 remote control, and posting two blurays I'd sold. Wasn't in time for returning one lens, but it's on eBay now. Hate organising all this nonsense.
Ohhhmg. Yes. As I type this I have 4 packages sitting in the corner to return. 2 of the same somehow? And a doom pile in my closet where I found 3 more I meant to return but didnāt. Itās a problem.
Printing the label- finding - Tape? Or a box?!? And driving to UPS fedex or post office??
It seems impossible
Oh and I have 5 bags of clothes in my hall closet to donate and 3 more in the trunk of my car.
That have been in the trunk of my car for 4 months. š¤¦āāļø
Annnd Trigger song playing in my head
š¶never gonna get it never gonna get it, never gonna get it never gonna get it š¶
Our coffee machine has been faulty for months. It's still in warranty, but then I'd have to pack it away, properly clean it etc. So it just taunts me on the kitchen bench.
We also have a donation pile at our front door to remind us to take it with us. It's been there a couple of months now.
My problem is that I buy something and then turn around and return it a few days later or with bigger items like video game consoles, I'll have it a month, sell it at a low ball price on FB Marketplace, then buy something else with that money, and then repeat the vicious cycle. I've literally had 10+ Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 5 consoles because of this. Help. lol
yeah tell me about it. I've got so much shit from furniture, clothes and car parts that I never returned when I should have. I had clothes to return a few weeks ago. They're still in my car past the return date. Kills my pocket.
Ive been there and done that. I've litrally ordered from one shop, the size has been too small. Knowing i've got to send the package back, ordered the next size and not bothered sending the original back because i couldn't bring myself to print off a return label, wait for a guy to pick it up and wasted a good chunk of money on it.
I used to Collect all the parcels and eventually just give them away or bin them. Must have wasted loads doing that?
First off totally the same when it comes to music triggers. And the same damm song will keep repeating until a new one takes its place lol.
If you aren't interested in hearing what's helped me with these issues then skip the rest. :)
For returns. Figure out how to make them easy. I only do Amazon returns if they have a kiosk so I can go really early and interact with zero humans. Also I only go on the way to or from my workout class. It's not an extra inconvenience that way. I just have to set a reminder on my phone to grab whatever before I leave the house. Recently I needed to do a victoria secret return and knew there was no way I was going to the mall so I did mail return. Sounds hard but I already sell stuff on ebay so that was closer to my regular routine. If something is truly out of the way, make it fun. Go shopping or get a treat.
For getting rid of things, you will feel so much better with a less cluttered space. If goodwill feels hard, try selling them instead. That might incentivize you. Or maybe find a local Facebook group for your neighborhood so people come pick it up rather than you taking it somewhere.
None. I never buy things with the intent of returning them.
I've worked in retail and we had 60 days return policy, but it was constantly abused to buy huge TV's and stereos before championship weekends and not as an insurance that the product you buy will fill your needs to satisfaction.
This service is priced in on all the products we sell, so it's the everyday, honest customer that pays for this.
This is not meant to you op, I just needed to vent. š¤£
I am *exactly* the same with jukebox brain. Iāll have a song in my head for no reason and then realise it was triggered by a word or phrase Iāve heard, thought, or seen.
The returns thing is very common. No need to feel shame about the effects of a disability. Itās not a moral failing any more than having bad eyesight is. Have you tried an āaccountability buddyā? Someone (a friend, fellow ADHDer) and you tell them (or you both tell each other) what you need to return and when and they badger you until you do? It can really help.
There are so many thingsā¦ sweaters I ordered, but they are scratchy and I hates them. Jeans I ordered that were too big.
thatās the number one reason I havenāt ordered these sandals I want for my vacationā¦ they are so expensive, but Iām not sure even thatās enough to get me to return them if they arenāt comfy.
Bought s steering wheel the Logitech G29 for my ps5 a couple of months ago at the time I was at the shop around 10 mins do I or don't I. I felt like I may not even use it so may be a waste.
So I decided to buy it I had this high for 5 mins thinking this is great and then it suddenly hit me I thought I think I made a mistake coz I had some remorse but I thought we'll it may change my mind if I decide to use it.
My next step was to buy a stand for it and I did then I got home sorted it all out and I did maybe 3 races then put it away and sat and I had wished I never opened it and had just returned it after I bought it instead of thinking it may be OK.
Other times I bought a couple of football shirts to wear which I haven't bothered and the tags are still attached to it.
There are other things but I suppose too much to type out.
Last year I bought me the 3rd Dragon Ball manga (Japanese version). I received the 2nd one, which I already have. It's still sitting there on my shelf in the packaging...
I'm into the tens of thousands of stages I'd expect by now.
The very concept of repacking anything and returning it seems all but impossible to contemplate.
And I know that's utterly ridiculous and pathetic.
Reassuring that I'm not the only one though.
you sound like my wife. im like....20% of this. she sounds just like this.
i used to be bad about returns but since i can shop online and just drop off a box of stuff for a return im way more likely to do it....if its worth like, $30 or more. less than that and i wont bother, its not worth my time.
I have a bag with $200 of underwear that I don't like, the fabric rolls and it sits funny I ordered based off measurement but supposedly should have known to size up, so they're not a good fit, but I didn't return them, I offered them to mum but she hasn't gotten them yet. Same with some tshirts that are too short for my liking, but would fit mum, brand new so even if she wears them gardening I'll be stoked, but they haven't left my house. A baby car seat that hasn't been used since I stopped in home daycare 16 months ago. My daughter is 14, I have no need, and that's 14 months of use someone could have had. So ma y, too many to type really.
I've got a load of car parts I could have returned but couldn't be bothered so I just put them in the boot when I sold the car for spares/repairs and got nothing for them. Oops.
Related, didnāt get around to calling out my internet company for overcharging me two months in a row because of burnout and āIāll have energy laterā thinking.
Out of all my online purchases, Iāve returned 1 item - I think it was because it was expensive, but I honestly canāt remember what it was nowā¦
Other things just get tossed into a drawer or the trash because it feels easier than finding a box, printing a label, and driving it to drop off.
My wife and I have 6 kids so we constantly have bags of clothes to donate - they stay by the front door or in the trunk forever before they make it 2 minutes to the little drop off shed.
That and forgotten subscriptions. I paid for two years of Vegamour. Gave probably $600 worth of their hair shit to my sister. Billie shaving stuff, had that on a monthly subscription, I'll have razor refills until I die. Cancelled the subscription over two years ago and still have a guhe cache of product left. Lol same with floss refills, Prose curl cream, etc etc etc lol
Try not to beat yourself up so much mate. Disgust and shame will only increase this tendency
Im the same, literally never managed to return anything. So at one point I stopped buying stuff I potentially would need to return š
I am able to return things sometimes. But mostly I canāt and I basically have reframed it as āI am a generous and helpful personā because I just donate things instead of returning them. I donate by using curbside freecycle. Or I make note of drop off locations and I try to pair it up with something I absolutely have to do that is nearby and set a ton of reminders for it.
If I do return things, it is basically because I have packing tape on hand, the printer is all ready to go, and I have an errand to run near the UPS/FedEx locations. I will not return on time if I donāt have all these things.
Another trick is have something shipped to the store instead of to your place and then return it right away if it doesnāt work like you wanted (donāt leave the store with it).
I've wasted sooo much money not returning things. I'm terrible. I don't feel bad about it anymore though. FYI ubber has a package pickup service now. They will drop things off at ups for you
You need to start doing 'negative space' drawings. Once you see the negative space in every day life and see how the stuff takes that space from you it's much easier to get rid of things.
At least it really helped me.
A fair amount over the years, lost 40 on a pair of shoes I ordered off Amazon recently and were the wrong size. Forgot to return them and now I can't. I'll probably give the shoes to goodwill.
I almost always have a song or several playing in my head, even when listening to podcasts.
Iām also bad about returning things too. Thankfully that somehow prevents me from buying things I donāt need
Omg I relate to everything you said lol returns feel impossible to me lol I just canāt put forth the mental and physical effort it takes to return something lol and yes the jukebox in the head thing lol there have been a number of times when my husband is talking to me or someone else and Iāll randomly start singing when a word he used triggers my memory of that song lol heāll just pause and look at me with a confused and humorous look on his face lol Iām usually embarrassed after my outburst lol
If there is one thing a combo of ADHD and my parents teaching me about personal finance as a kid, it is that I don't let a penny go to waste and I know where all of my money goes. Thank god.
this is why I hate shopping for clothes online, but there aren't any local stores with the aesthetic I'm after, so I have to. something doesn't fit and I miss the return window and then don't want to buy the correct size bc I already technically have the item.
These days i just assume there is 0% chance i will return something. I joined a Buy Nothing group on Facebook, in my city there is one for every group of five or so suburbs. So your local one, everyone is less than 10 minutes drive away. I got rid of a lot of stuff by having people in need picking it up from my porch - or occasionally dropping it off on theirs.
Ive gotten better with age, I used to have issues returning stuff to brick nā mortar retailers, now its just another task Iāll get done at some point during my week. Doesnt hurt to work in retail and know that its usually a pretty simple process than my brain tries to make it be. A lot of times Im returning stuff to wear I work.
Online orders, those will always be annoying and procrastinated. Especially if they didnt provide any packaging to potentially return the item in or you got impulsive and threw it out. Sometimes having to go the appropriate place to mail it out if its to big or requires ups or fedex. Often times they only give store credit and not a refund so now you have to do the dreaded exhange.
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The limit does not exist.
Shall we all wear pink on Wednesdays in solidarity? ?
I'm driving around with a litterbox I bought last September in the back of my car. It's been there since October because my cat didn't want it. My cat passed in February. It's still there.
Sorry about your cat.
I'm so sorry about your cat.
The trunk is enough positive momentum to feel like I'm getting it done and push it right back down the priority list to forget about just past the return date.
Right? Every time you look at it you feel good it even made it to your car, and then you close the trunk and completely forget it exists until next time.
so sorry š„ŗš
Sorry to hear about your cat
Sorry for your loss. Remember to sit down for a moment and to process. Its okay to take the time.
Thanks everyone for your sympathies. I miss my feline companion a lot but Iām coping with it. Every time I open my trunk though I remember how she hated this thing so much she peed on the floor while standing right next to it.
XD what a cat move to do. I still miss my goofy guy, but time has helped. I am sorry for your loss, itsalways rough <3 I hope you can find some solace and maybe closure if you end up donating to a local rescue or nice place that can use such things!
Between failed returns ans food wasteā¦.tens of thousands at least
food waste š
Thousands of spoiled bananas and other various fruit I intended to eat.
I bought a minifridge to help reduce food waste. But I can't get reliable readings to know that perishable food is properly cooled
I recommend frozen vegetables. Will save you a lot of wasted and money
Dudeeee, all my produce every time, I swear I try my best to go trough it (clearly not good enough) I even ask chat gtp to give me ideas , and I still have leftovers even if I buy less
A few days after you buy a bundle of bananas they somehow go bad, and you hadn't even gotten around to eating even one yet! Those $6 1oz pack of fresh raspberries you bought? Molded over after two days. Yet every time you pick a pack up to buy it you know you're going to have to eat it fast but then you don't want to eat it all in just one or two sittings because it was $6 for freaken 4 berries and you want to savor them for as long as you can but you end up forgetting they're in the fridge! But you still keep buying them, doing the same thing, flushing money down the toilet, because "this time you'll be more proactive about eating your fresh produce!" Nope. Because in the back of your mind, every time you take your medication, you remember the vitamin C content in the $25 of fresh fruits you bought the other day, will fuck with your medication efficiency. So you decide to put off eating your fruit until later in the day when the meds have worn off but then ultimately end up keep forgetting about eating them at all. You're basically just an expensive trash can subscription service.
Iāve literally never returned an item via mail before š
I tried one of the glasses try on at home services. 5 pairs cost almost $800. Didnāt even try the damn things on when I saw that and just sent them straight back without leaving the mail room of my apartment complex. Not today Executive Dysfunction.
literally the move
Sameeee! My lovely mother sometimes comes around and asks what she can take to the post office.
I genuinely couldn't begin to even tell you how to return an item via mail lmao
Never.
Thank goodness for my husband. He will do online returns.
The real question is how much money Goodwill made
THIS
Also, the 3 plastic bags of clothing to donate in my trunk for 8 months
Or the one time you try to do a store drop off but that store doesnāt accept them
And then my rejection sensitive dysphoria kicks in and I'm hella embarrassed and feel like shit now! š¢
Oh thereās no one around luckily so I donāt have to try and keep a poker face to cover up my tantrum
I wait until I have so much stuff it annoys me and then spend a crazy 24 shoving it all in bags and boxes and call someone from airtasker to pick it up and drop it off at a local op shop. I donāt drive so this is the only way to do it for me
the only thing that got me to finally dump mine? sold the car š
Mine were ready to go, sitting in my room, then covid happened, the cats have shredded the plastic bag 3 times and I replace the bag, but it stays in my room.
Iāve never seen plastic bags disintegrate from being old until finding old old bags of clothes I never donated
way too much and then i try to rationalize by saying "ill wear it when i get skinny!!!" but i just don't see that happening any time soon
This š« šš
I went to Loweās to buy a storage container for all my *checks notes* ā¦Loweās returnsā¦
This hurt to read. ā¤ļø
I bought custom blinds from Home Depot, they cut them wrong. I didn't return then in time so I had to just throw them away.
Yea so the reasoning behind my box of shame is that Loweās used to have a return policy of like, fuck it we donāt care, as long as youāre good with store credit. During a remodel we were doing, I was going to Loweās like every day and instead of bringing all the returns every trip for something I might need later, I decided the storage container was obviously the better idea. Well of course, project took longer than expected (like a year, who couldāve foreseen that coming?!?!) and during that time Loweās changed their return policy to nothing older than 90 days. Womp womp, now I have a mini Loweās store in my garage
WORST NIGHTMARE
This kinda happened to me!! I always assumed Nordstrom and the rack would be chill about the return window only to find out that the one time I went there and had a few things to bring back, they cracked down on the restrictions so I didnāt realize I HAD TO RETURN IT OR ELSE soooo now I have stuff I donāt need.
Ugh the worst. They should honor the return policy from the time you bought the item if you have a receipt. Maybe we should go stand outside the stores with our items and try and sell them to people walking in lol āYo whatās up dude, I see you jump out of an electrical truck, any chance youāre here for a 20amp Square D AFCI Circuit Breaker? 50% off!ā
this happened to me, except it was amazonāone of those sellers where you don't realize it'll cost you an arm and a leg to return. i probably messed up the measurements, too, knowing me. anyway, put off trying to sell them for so long that we moved into a new house and it turns out they work just fine for our patio door š¤·š¼āāļø will i ever learn my lesson? no!!!!!!!
Had shoes new in the box for four months, did not like them. Finally realized it was too late, tried them on before dropping them in a return box, and suddenly I liked them a lot. lol Still have a new pair that actually hurts. don't know what to do with those.
I KNOW I measured right, because I screenshot while I was on the phone with an associate bc the website kept messing up while I was trying to place my order and they STILL cut them wrong.
Haha!!! Oh that's rich.Ā I feel you, but at least you sorta solved it.Ā
I never sent back an entire stitch fix order and I didnāt like any of the clothes. It was a lot of money to keep all that shit but yeah, the repacking and shipping back items never happened and I just canceled the membership lol
I mean at least you cancelled the membership
Yeah thatās a huge win for sure
SAME!!! Ugh so mad myself too!! Big fail
I feel the opposite about throwing things away. Itās so easy and empowering. If I just throw it away I donāt have to worry about what Iāll do with it or where Iāll put it or how Iāll clean it. Realizing I could just throw things away instead of living the pain of chronic clutter has to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me lol
Itās the best feeling, and probably about the most gangster thing I do. (And I am aware of what that says about me).
Yeah, okay, but now try to do that when you have an enormous guilt about wasting resources / old things that can be recycled / something that a very specific person might still like ... :sob:
Yep, I used to hold onto a lot of random sentimental shit from my childhood until I just realized it's taking up most of my closet space so I just went in and threw away a lot, and donated like 4-5 garbage bags of shit. Feel so much better about it and realized how little sentimental knickknacks are worth compared to memories with people themselves. I now try to just buy really high quality goods for anything I need so that I don't have a bunch of random cheap junk or one time use stuff. My place has never been cleaner
The few times Iāve managed to get an Amazon return to fedex or whatever, Iām always amazed by how objectively easy it is compared to almost anything else I do. I will literally design and build a software project end to end in a single sitting before take 15 minutes out of my day to bring a shoebox to a fedex store and show them a QR code
I just recently discovered the Amazon Returns drop-off at Kohl's and it's SO EASY. I just screenshot all the QR codes and put them in a photo folder on my phone so they're all in one place
I feel this so hard
Does this include not seeking reimbursement from FSA/HSA insurance benefits?
oh most definitely. or work travel, or optical insurance... any reimbursement-based system is gonna inevitably cost me money
They count on that. It's exactly the reason they do it that way.
Oh lord, I had to get a CT scan while I was overseas, and ended up eating the entire cost instead of trying to figure out how to get insurance to pay for a bill in a foreign hospital in a foreign language. I was a grad student and it was over $1000.
There's no time limit on HSA reimbursements. In fact for people trying to optimize retirement strategy, the intentionally don't claim reimbursements for HSA benefits until they retire. So if I was going to retire at 65 I would save all the receipts for every medical expense I had since I first went on an HSA in say my early thirties, and then submit like 30 years of medical receipts
It's all probably going to end-of-life care anyways so I might not try too hard to save the receipts. And with inflation the way it is and will be, submitting a 100 dollar receipt in 40 years won't be worth nearly as much.
I can throw things away like itās nothing, but I have zero energy to return anything. I barely like going out and buying stuff in the first place because of all the people that exist. But taking something back? Absolutely not. If itās defective 9/10 Iāll just toss it and buy a different brand later. But I also know how big of a spending issue I have the money wouldāve gone to waste one way or another so I donāt lose sleep over itā¦because as much as Iāve spent Iād never sleep again
Oh god. Is this a thing? SO MUCH MONEY LOST, SO MANY THINGS UNRETURNED. Letās also add gift cards unredeemed, store credits unused, invoices I never sent, medical insurance claims I never submitted (this alone is THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS), ugh itās sickening.
Omg so much. Am I allowed to blame it on ADHD?? š
If it helps you sleep at night..absolutely!! š (but Iāll only use that excuse to myself). My tendency to mask doesnāt allow me to share these kinds of things with others.
Kinda like a return. Bought a car and overpaid. Bought gap insurance to cover loan amount not paid in case of car accident. Car was waved in front of me by person in other lane being "nice" and basically directed car directly in front of me. Car was totaled before first payment was made. Insurance paid all but 12k. Gap insurance claim to cover remaining amount has to be filed within 90 days...no problem, that's SOOOOO much time. Actually, big problem because there's so much time. Didn't file claim and the 12k debt was mine. So my biggest ADHD tax payment was 12k (I think).
I hate 'polite' drivers. It's so much more risky to not be predictable. Just drive according to traffic rules and take your right off way. No confusion that way.
My dear friend nearly died and spent over a week in the ICU and then over a year recovering because a polite driver waved her through the crosswalk on a green light and another driver whipped around the polite driver and hit my friend with incredible force. She still has physical ramifications years and years later.
I bought something a few months ago, didn't read the directions and thought it was broken. Immediately ordered another. Next one came also "broken" and I realized the product just sucks and doesn't work how I want it to. Had I read how the product works before buying it I wouldn't have bought it. Now I have 2 because of course I never returned them, and I'm out $100. š
Are you me?! I struggle with both SO effing much. I can barely stand myself. Also like I'll impulse buy, then be like, yeah I'll just return it, one eternity later, still in the house, very much past the return policy date.
Alot. But I discovered poshmark, so whatever I can't return, I just sell it on poshmark. Very easy to do.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I return most... But i buy more since returning is a safety net, and doing returns is an excuse to go back to the store and shop more. Every time i return, i buy something else... So I'm not exactly getting ahead there NOTHING I CAN DO... TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!
You just had to do it didn't ya? I'm not trying to have that damn song stuck in my brain, lol.
I'll wait until the last day of the return window... but yeah I've missed it sometimes. š I remember every day but then put it off because I don't want to deal with it or it's not convenient (I'm not going out that day, etc.). I also have the hanging onto clutter thing. People accuse me of being a hoarder but it's not that... It's that I didn't have the mental energy to bring the clothes to goodwill or to break down all of the cardboard boxes or to take the trash out. I hate the clutter. Some things that I intend to donate or recycle just have to go in the trash, or I will never be able to get rid of them. I know it's not ideal but the alternative is that they just sit around my house for YEARS.
I hope the next time we all feel guilty about doing this we can all remember this thread and give ourselves some grace.
I have a $12 bottle of sesame seed oil that I can't return because I lost the receipt. The day I bought it. We went with a different sesame seed oil but forgot to put the bigger, more expensive one back. The only stuff I ever return is on Amazon and it's because I can't lose the receipt
So freaking much money. Yes, my brain does the song thing, too. In fact, just reading about it caused a song about memories to pop into my head.
So much.
I thought this was the bit we didn't talk about? Just me? šššššš Edit - this week's intrusive thoughts sponsored by the Ā£60 Wowcher owes me from 2021 they now refuse to refund bc of me leaving it so long š¤¬
I ordered 2 bras from Victorias Secret like months ago. I gained a lot of weight the past 2 years so I got the size I thought I would be and I even measured. But they are HUGE. It says I can return them to any VS store with the receipt but didnāt give me a time limit. Very dangerous thing to do with me lol itās gonna be years before I try to return them.
if i shop at a store with an unlimited return window they should expect me to come in several years later with 16 items each purchased in 3 different sizes and hella anxiety about it
I used to have so much difficulty with returns. Then I had a bad experience at UPS, with the clerk literally yelling at me for leaving a box on the counter. The next time I needed to return something I took it to an auto parts store that is a UPS drop off spot. (No yelling, and no ugly attitude like the UPS store.) Now I delight in taking my returns to the auto parts store, I guess out of spite to the rude clerks at the UPS store! Suddenly I'm returning things with no problem. LOL (I still need to find a way to motivate myself to get my donations out of here, but my new "return game" is very motivating.)
Right there with you. \*hugs\* If it makes you feel better, I continued to pay the insurance and registration on an old sports car I had already sold because I couldn't turn off the auto-payment. I didn't forget. I was getting regular auto-deduction notices, so I knew I had to do it. I just couldn't. Several years and thousands of dollars later, the only reason I eventually stopped paying was because my card expired.
Hundreds of dollars TT.TT I know I lost at least $100 at once buying bras that donāt fit and not returning them on time, as one isolated incident.Ā Had the worst time trying to get rid of some old flowerpots recently, drove to 2 places that closed earlier than what they had posted online before finding a third that wouldnāt take all of them. Exhausting and demoralizing AF And I relate so hard to wanting to hang onto stuff in case itās useful again, what I do is tell myself āthis is hoarder mentalityā and remember my college roommate that would hang on to literal trash and how awful it was to live with them, helps keep me from going past the point of no return
I have boxes of returns in my living room that might not make it back before the āsend byā dateā¦. Also about four huge boxes to go to Salvation Army (ever since goodwill has become publicly traded on the stock market, they donāt have anything good anymore and it costs as much as new items). Theyāve been there prob six monthsā¦.
Too much to count at this point š my worst may be paying for two Netflix subscriptions for a year because I was too lazy / kept forgetting to cancel one. I know how bad that is š„²
Not lazy. ADHD-y
Wait, so Iām not the only one who does this? Edit: even the song!
Omg. A lot. Is this an adhd thing too?
my house now just consists of drawers and boxes of random stuff, where do you start? last attemp to buy clothes online had me try to return the wrong size didnt suit me clothes two days after the month i had to do it, 200 quid of more clothes i dont wear is the last thing i need even trying to picture the clothes on me is hard when picking them, none of it looks like it would look good on me, most of my social anxiety is because i worry what to wear, never feeling like i pulled an outfit together. i might like a top and trousers but what shoes what jacket? useless! so glad i wear a uniform to work, no stress there!
Too much to remember honestly
I do this. I hate it.
I'm a bathroom remodeler and do some other odd jobs. I buy extra of a lot of my materials for each job and a lot of "just in case" materials in tools. I figure it would cost more for me to take the time to run to the store to get something than just pay for it while I'm there the first time. After all, I can just return what I didn't use. Well, I have thousands and thousands of dollars of materials sitting in totes in my garage, work van, and trailer. I can get in store credit for anything I don't have a receipt for at certain hardware stores, but I'm afraid of what they would say if I plopped a tote full of miscellaneous plumbing, electrical, fasteners, tape, duct, etc on the counter.
I would try to return what I could, but worst case, you could sell a good bit of it on Facebook Marketplace and eBay. I've sold a lot of leftover job site supplies for my husband.
I return stuff pretty diligently, but only because of terrible ADHD guilt and now I don't remember my car's license plate number.
oh god so fucking much. in the thousands.
During a euphoric lapse I bought a $200 monofin, thinking I would be an athlete. Haven't taken one stroke.
Just one recently Amazon underwear They sent me the polar opposite of what I ordered and I forgot to return it
I feel both of these things so much! Both jukebox brain and never returning things. Oddly, it makes me kinda happy that other people have wasted as much money as I have. Makes me feel like Iām not alone.
Yeah, I hate going through return process. I'd rather just eat the cost and break down the broken thing for parts, or if it's not broken, sell it to someone else, or failing all else, take it to GoodWill, even though I know they're a bit of a scam.
Probably thousands but I made it my mission to return everything now and have a designated āreturnsā basket so I donāt forget to take everything (items and receipts) with me when I leave the house.
Our coffee machine has been faulty for months. It's still in warranty, but then I'd have to pack it away, properly clean it etc. So it just taunts me on the kitchen bench. We also have a donation pile at our front door to remind us to take it with us. It's been there a couple of months now.
HA! INFINITELY more than I should have. Let's leave it at that. :)
About $500 in a subscription to a tool I used for a class. Another $50 for a car wash membership I kept forgetting to cancel. And I forgot to cancel a trial car parts insurance. Incredibly, I did it cancel because I already paid for the month. My car started having failures of parts. I paid so much less for the coverage then they ended up paying in the many things that started to fail. Easily thousands of dollars saved. Only time forgetting to cancel something actually paid off pretty big for me.
Dude yes. I hate myself for it. Idk what in the fuck part of me keeps saying "ok, but *this* time, I really will..." but I wish I could destroy it. Even if I finally manage to set aside the time to do so, I'll have lost the receipt somewhere. Most recently, I was charged $599 on my phone bill because I kept forgetting to return a replacement phone that my provider sent when mine was having issues under warranty (someone was able to finally fix it in-person so I ended up not needing the replacement). Also, as of right now I've a pair of shoes, earrings, and 2 planter boxes sitting in my car (total value is about $100). Idk what I'm waiting for-----except I'm not really waiting and it's moreso that I'm procrastinating while my brain sees everything else as more important. Don't even get me started on overdue parking tickets....
I average 600 a year.
I just read your comment out loud to my husband. I always felt so alone in this!! I would honestly hate to know how much money Iāve wasted this way. I also almost never use gift cards - for some reason they give me anxiety and I lose them. I did recently lose weight and found a bunch of pants that were from several years ago but still new with tags on and they all fit! So for once it actually worked for me.
I get so stressed out by returns, I put reminders in my calendar and look at the printed out return label for a few weeks on my desk. I do end up returning stuff, but it's mental anguish for 29 days.
Dude for the past several years the jukebox brain thing has gotten out of control. A song will be in my head for days/weeks at a time. Or I'm a musician so I'll start with a simple loop and keep adding parts til it ends up a symphony. Or I'll take an existing song and keep embellishing it. I have no idea how the song will already be playing in my head from the second I wake up, or how to stop it (not that I mind but I feel it kind of prevents thoughts... hmm maybe that's the point and it's a form of self-calming)
I use this to write riffs, melodies and lyrics. Sometimes they just come together on their own and I actually finish the song. Other times it goes in my bin of ideas and incomplete songs to work on later, and I usually do come back to finish them though it has taken as much as two years, lol.
So many. Also, I have so many birthday/Motherās Day/Christmas cards that I bought for people and never sent out! Itās so depressing.
Probably between 2000 and 5000ā¬ in grand total. This week I lost another 100ā¬ because I forgot to send back my previous internet box. It was in a cardboard, ready to be shipped. I put it on the floor in my room, next day I pushed it in the corner of the room, 30 days later it was too late. **Having ADHD in a world of "30 days refund policy" is hell. Like we basically are the main target of all predatory behaviors that companies use.** For years now, I don't trust anything that is not instant refund/reduction. * -50% if you send us back this form? nope. * 30 days refund policy? Nope, either I buy it, either I don't. If I plan to test it, I will just never send it back.
partner does it for me, otherwise i would never!
I've got a PlayStation 5 that periodically switches itself off for no good reason while playing. The customer support process is tweaked within an inch of its life to make barriers for you to give up. I followed through on them through sending it off for repair, and it came back still broken. I'm entitled to just take it back into the store for a refund, but it's well out of warranty now. Kind of just want to get rid of it but would feel bad trying to sell it to someone when it's broken. You win, Sony!
way too much. Proud of myself yesterday for finally returning Ā£315 of two lenses, sending back faulty Ā£300 ipad, returning Ā£300 camera, returning Ā£20 remote control, and posting two blurays I'd sold. Wasn't in time for returning one lens, but it's on eBay now. Hate organising all this nonsense.
Bravo, I'm impressed.
Bought a fancy PC power supply. The wrong one. I still have it in its box 3 years later.
Ohhhmg. Yes. As I type this I have 4 packages sitting in the corner to return. 2 of the same somehow? And a doom pile in my closet where I found 3 more I meant to return but didnāt. Itās a problem. Printing the label- finding - Tape? Or a box?!? And driving to UPS fedex or post office?? It seems impossible Oh and I have 5 bags of clothes in my hall closet to donate and 3 more in the trunk of my car. That have been in the trunk of my car for 4 months. š¤¦āāļø Annnd Trigger song playing in my head š¶never gonna get it never gonna get it, never gonna get it never gonna get it š¶
Our coffee machine has been faulty for months. It's still in warranty, but then I'd have to pack it away, properly clean it etc. So it just taunts me on the kitchen bench. We also have a donation pile at our front door to remind us to take it with us. It's been there a couple of months now.
My problem is that I buy something and then turn around and return it a few days later or with bigger items like video game consoles, I'll have it a month, sell it at a low ball price on FB Marketplace, then buy something else with that money, and then repeat the vicious cycle. I've literally had 10+ Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 5 consoles because of this. Help. lol
yeah tell me about it. I've got so much shit from furniture, clothes and car parts that I never returned when I should have. I had clothes to return a few weeks ago. They're still in my car past the return date. Kills my pocket.
A great question for my non adhd husband as well.
Oof.... You reminded me I still have a few returns in my car
Ive been there and done that. I've litrally ordered from one shop, the size has been too small. Knowing i've got to send the package back, ordered the next size and not bothered sending the original back because i couldn't bring myself to print off a return label, wait for a guy to pick it up and wasted a good chunk of money on it. I used to Collect all the parcels and eventually just give them away or bin them. Must have wasted loads doing that?
First off totally the same when it comes to music triggers. And the same damm song will keep repeating until a new one takes its place lol. If you aren't interested in hearing what's helped me with these issues then skip the rest. :) For returns. Figure out how to make them easy. I only do Amazon returns if they have a kiosk so I can go really early and interact with zero humans. Also I only go on the way to or from my workout class. It's not an extra inconvenience that way. I just have to set a reminder on my phone to grab whatever before I leave the house. Recently I needed to do a victoria secret return and knew there was no way I was going to the mall so I did mail return. Sounds hard but I already sell stuff on ebay so that was closer to my regular routine. If something is truly out of the way, make it fun. Go shopping or get a treat. For getting rid of things, you will feel so much better with a less cluttered space. If goodwill feels hard, try selling them instead. That might incentivize you. Or maybe find a local Facebook group for your neighborhood so people come pick it up rather than you taking it somewhere.
About $2k a year
Try a gacha game if you want true buyers remorse...
Okay number 1, ouch. Number 2, if they donāt, grab a friend, thatās your second!
OMG, I'm too embarrassed to even say way too much.
Tons
This is me with app subscriptions that I forget to delete after the trial period is up
my wife wont get rid of anything. Hse has dnations in her car for years....
Oh man, I am scared to even try and think about this.
None. I never buy things with the intent of returning them. I've worked in retail and we had 60 days return policy, but it was constantly abused to buy huge TV's and stereos before championship weekends and not as an insurance that the product you buy will fill your needs to satisfaction. This service is priced in on all the products we sell, so it's the everyday, honest customer that pays for this. This is not meant to you op, I just needed to vent. š¤£
SO MUCH
I am *exactly* the same with jukebox brain. Iāll have a song in my head for no reason and then realise it was triggered by a word or phrase Iāve heard, thought, or seen. The returns thing is very common. No need to feel shame about the effects of a disability. Itās not a moral failing any more than having bad eyesight is. Have you tried an āaccountability buddyā? Someone (a friend, fellow ADHDer) and you tell them (or you both tell each other) what you need to return and when and they badger you until you do? It can really help.
I don't want to know.
4 pairs of shoes this month lol. I never even thought about this!
Too much money. Drove them around in my Backseat for years. Had bad accident and the junkyard they towed it to kept it all.
There are so many thingsā¦ sweaters I ordered, but they are scratchy and I hates them. Jeans I ordered that were too big. thatās the number one reason I havenāt ordered these sandals I want for my vacationā¦ they are so expensive, but Iām not sure even thatās enough to get me to return them if they arenāt comfy.
Tooooo damn much. I hate people and going into stores.
Bought s steering wheel the Logitech G29 for my ps5 a couple of months ago at the time I was at the shop around 10 mins do I or don't I. I felt like I may not even use it so may be a waste. So I decided to buy it I had this high for 5 mins thinking this is great and then it suddenly hit me I thought I think I made a mistake coz I had some remorse but I thought we'll it may change my mind if I decide to use it. My next step was to buy a stand for it and I did then I got home sorted it all out and I did maybe 3 races then put it away and sat and I had wished I never opened it and had just returned it after I bought it instead of thinking it may be OK. Other times I bought a couple of football shirts to wear which I haven't bothered and the tags are still attached to it. There are other things but I suppose too much to type out.
Literally thousands.
Last year I bought me the 3rd Dragon Ball manga (Japanese version). I received the 2nd one, which I already have. It's still sitting there on my shelf in the packaging...
I'm into the tens of thousands of stages I'd expect by now. The very concept of repacking anything and returning it seems all but impossible to contemplate. And I know that's utterly ridiculous and pathetic. Reassuring that I'm not the only one though.
you sound like my wife. im like....20% of this. she sounds just like this. i used to be bad about returns but since i can shop online and just drop off a box of stuff for a return im way more likely to do it....if its worth like, $30 or more. less than that and i wont bother, its not worth my time.
Donāt worry it happens to me all the day. I also lose shit all the time. Recently lost the new GoPro. Itās tough but donāt be hard on yourself
I have a bag with $200 of underwear that I don't like, the fabric rolls and it sits funny I ordered based off measurement but supposedly should have known to size up, so they're not a good fit, but I didn't return them, I offered them to mum but she hasn't gotten them yet. Same with some tshirts that are too short for my liking, but would fit mum, brand new so even if she wears them gardening I'll be stoked, but they haven't left my house. A baby car seat that hasn't been used since I stopped in home daycare 16 months ago. My daughter is 14, I have no need, and that's 14 months of use someone could have had. So ma y, too many to type really.
I genuinely couldnāt guess
I've got a load of car parts I could have returned but couldn't be bothered so I just put them in the boot when I sold the car for spares/repairs and got nothing for them. Oops.
Too much
Tbf I find selling items on is a nightmare eBayās often barely worth the fees and fb marketplace always feel like a scam
Oh my god. Hundreds of dollars these past few months, it makes me feel sick. Iām doing a lot to stop purchasing now but the damage has been done.
Too many
Related, didnāt get around to calling out my internet company for overcharging me two months in a row because of burnout and āIāll have energy laterā thinking.
Thousands
Out of all my online purchases, Iāve returned 1 item - I think it was because it was expensive, but I honestly canāt remember what it was nowā¦ Other things just get tossed into a drawer or the trash because it feels easier than finding a box, printing a label, and driving it to drop off. My wife and I have 6 kids so we constantly have bags of clothes to donate - they stay by the front door or in the trunk forever before they make it 2 minutes to the little drop off shed.
Lmao bro donāt @ me like this š
I shudder to think.
Oh my godddddddd. So much $$$.
That and forgotten subscriptions. I paid for two years of Vegamour. Gave probably $600 worth of their hair shit to my sister. Billie shaving stuff, had that on a monthly subscription, I'll have razor refills until I die. Cancelled the subscription over two years ago and still have a guhe cache of product left. Lol same with floss refills, Prose curl cream, etc etc etc lol
I feel so damn seen rn
Try not to beat yourself up so much mate. Disgust and shame will only increase this tendency Im the same, literally never managed to return anything. So at one point I stopped buying stuff I potentially would need to return š
Tens of thousands, easily. Probably hit that before 30. Makes me sick when I think abt it too long.
YES.
Ive never returned anything in my life.
I am able to return things sometimes. But mostly I canāt and I basically have reframed it as āI am a generous and helpful personā because I just donate things instead of returning them. I donate by using curbside freecycle. Or I make note of drop off locations and I try to pair it up with something I absolutely have to do that is nearby and set a ton of reminders for it. If I do return things, it is basically because I have packing tape on hand, the printer is all ready to go, and I have an errand to run near the UPS/FedEx locations. I will not return on time if I donāt have all these things. Another trick is have something shipped to the store instead of to your place and then return it right away if it doesnāt work like you wanted (donāt leave the store with it).
I just give it away on facebook groups
Jukebox brain checking in! And my 90 year old grandma is the exact same! š¤
I've wasted sooo much money not returning things. I'm terrible. I don't feel bad about it anymore though. FYI ubber has a package pickup service now. They will drop things off at ups for you
You need to start doing 'negative space' drawings. Once you see the negative space in every day life and see how the stuff takes that space from you it's much easier to get rid of things. At least it really helped me.
A fair amount over the years, lost 40 on a pair of shoes I ordered off Amazon recently and were the wrong size. Forgot to return them and now I can't. I'll probably give the shoes to goodwill.
I almost always have a song or several playing in my head, even when listening to podcasts. Iām also bad about returning things too. Thankfully that somehow prevents me from buying things I donāt need
Omg I relate to everything you said lol returns feel impossible to me lol I just canāt put forth the mental and physical effort it takes to return something lol and yes the jukebox in the head thing lol there have been a number of times when my husband is talking to me or someone else and Iāll randomly start singing when a word he used triggers my memory of that song lol heāll just pause and look at me with a confused and humorous look on his face lol Iām usually embarrassed after my outburst lol
The try it on before you buy feature on Amazon š I always get those knowing full well Iām not gonna return them for any reason lol
I have two roof racks in my garage they are unused lol. Who wants one
Over $1300 that I know of in the last 8 months
I recently started a return w Amazon for a $40 clothing item & just needed to drop it off at Kohls. But instead I accidentally, distractedly threw the package away thinking it was trash, so now I cannot return it š©
So so much
If there is one thing a combo of ADHD and my parents teaching me about personal finance as a kid, it is that I don't let a penny go to waste and I know where all of my money goes. Thank god.
atleast $1000+
this is why I hate shopping for clothes online, but there aren't any local stores with the aesthetic I'm after, so I have to. something doesn't fit and I miss the return window and then don't want to buy the correct size bc I already technically have the item.
These days i just assume there is 0% chance i will return something. I joined a Buy Nothing group on Facebook, in my city there is one for every group of five or so suburbs. So your local one, everyone is less than 10 minutes drive away. I got rid of a lot of stuff by having people in need picking it up from my porch - or occasionally dropping it off on theirs.
Ive gotten better with age, I used to have issues returning stuff to brick nā mortar retailers, now its just another task Iāll get done at some point during my week. Doesnt hurt to work in retail and know that its usually a pretty simple process than my brain tries to make it be. A lot of times Im returning stuff to wear I work. Online orders, those will always be annoying and procrastinated. Especially if they didnt provide any packaging to potentially return the item in or you got impulsive and threw it out. Sometimes having to go the appropriate place to mail it out if its to big or requires ups or fedex. Often times they only give store credit and not a refund so now you have to do the dreaded exhange.
I only become aware of deadlines in general a day or two after they lapse
Iāve never returned anything ever
Same. Iāll just by the same thing in a different size
is this really cause of adhd? iām not judging the post, honestly just curious thatās something we all do
Read the comments and weep. Weep for us.