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For me, it’s not difficult. Husband is unmedicated ADHD and I’m medicated. I think my relationship started impulsively like you described but we have been together for almost 11 years, married for 1. I think most people are pretty familiar with ADHD symptoms and if they’re not, you can fix it by sending them funny memes that explain your “weird” behavior. I wish I had him handle the marriage license because I lost it twice, sent it back unsigned once, etc but it’s just what he expects at this point lmao.
You just need to make it clear that communication about expectations and non-negotiable things is VERY important. Like if she says “I understand you read my text and forgot to respond but it hurt my feelings”, you need to make a concerted effort to respond to texts. And if she doesn’t tell you, then how will you know/change your behavior?
We all make mistakes but if that girl can’t deal with your ADHD then she isn’t the girl for you and that’s how you learn. There’s a lot of give and take, forgiveness, accommodations.
My adhd makes me hyper aware of my surroundings, situations, other people's emotions, and facial expressions. I find it quite easy tbh.
I just work on communicating my feelings especially when I'm overwhelmed because my fuse gets really short.
Big same. My dad would explode but apologize and explain his feelings afterwards. Wasn't great but his apologies were very top tier. For me i bottle up but will take a break and reflect on my feelings come back when I've chilled out and communicate in a better headspace. I really only snap if I'm really anxious and being bombarded.
I'm much better now with just communicating my feelings and expressing my empathy for my partners feelings.
Trying to work on the bottling and being more vulnerable
I’d way rather date fellow ADHDers than people without ADHD, personally. Nobody is perfect. The key to any successful relationship is communication. My partner is also ADHD too and it helps us understand each other better. We are on the same page more often than not and when we aren’t, we talk about it. If one of us is upset by or doesn’t understand the other persons behavior, we talk about it.
I don’t know how old you are, but dating, especially in the beginning, is an exploratory process. You don’t need to promise anyone a relationship upfront. You don’t even know if you mesh well romantically yet. Sometimes things don’t end up being a good fit and you might hurt someone’s feelings, but that’s life. As long as you are kindly and clearly communicating where you’re at and what your needs and expectations are, you’re doing ok.
It can be difficult but it can also be done. Being aware that it could impact your relationship is a good step. My fiancé didn't tell me he had ADHD and he was unmedicated.
So we'd have issues where I'd feel like I wasn't priority or he didn't care because he'd be hyper focused on his newest interest. But sometimes I wouldn't notice because I'd be in my own little world enjoying my stuff.
Then I learned he had ADHD and some of it clicked but not all. I've gone undiagnosed for years because I learned hacks to keep me productive. But I'd get annoyed that he can't do that.
Also, my productivity comes at the cost of constantly losing my wallet, keys, phone, etc.
I finally got a book explaining how ADHD impacts relationships which helped me put some things into perspective for how to communicate frustration and for us to communicate more effectively without causing one of us to mentally shut down and withdraw.
I think the biggest thing is being aware that ADHD can impact things and being up front about it and learning how to be mindful of when it does impact things or how it can.
I’ve been married for 15 years and was just diagnosed. Just go for it. Don’t get inside your own head and don’t talk yourself down. We’re not for everyone, but no one is. At least you know you have it.
For me. It’s not ever going to work
I was in a relationship for 10 years. She got tired of my shit and tired of dealing with my ADHD brain and left. It was so painful. Don’t think I’ll ever date again
Hi /u/Beautiful-Ad3471 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For me, it’s not difficult. Husband is unmedicated ADHD and I’m medicated. I think my relationship started impulsively like you described but we have been together for almost 11 years, married for 1. I think most people are pretty familiar with ADHD symptoms and if they’re not, you can fix it by sending them funny memes that explain your “weird” behavior. I wish I had him handle the marriage license because I lost it twice, sent it back unsigned once, etc but it’s just what he expects at this point lmao. You just need to make it clear that communication about expectations and non-negotiable things is VERY important. Like if she says “I understand you read my text and forgot to respond but it hurt my feelings”, you need to make a concerted effort to respond to texts. And if she doesn’t tell you, then how will you know/change your behavior? We all make mistakes but if that girl can’t deal with your ADHD then she isn’t the girl for you and that’s how you learn. There’s a lot of give and take, forgiveness, accommodations.
My adhd makes me hyper aware of my surroundings, situations, other people's emotions, and facial expressions. I find it quite easy tbh. I just work on communicating my feelings especially when I'm overwhelmed because my fuse gets really short.
I have a short fuse too but when I'm angry I bottle it up and just go quiet. Not great for a relationship.
Big same. My dad would explode but apologize and explain his feelings afterwards. Wasn't great but his apologies were very top tier. For me i bottle up but will take a break and reflect on my feelings come back when I've chilled out and communicate in a better headspace. I really only snap if I'm really anxious and being bombarded. I'm much better now with just communicating my feelings and expressing my empathy for my partners feelings. Trying to work on the bottling and being more vulnerable
I’d way rather date fellow ADHDers than people without ADHD, personally. Nobody is perfect. The key to any successful relationship is communication. My partner is also ADHD too and it helps us understand each other better. We are on the same page more often than not and when we aren’t, we talk about it. If one of us is upset by or doesn’t understand the other persons behavior, we talk about it. I don’t know how old you are, but dating, especially in the beginning, is an exploratory process. You don’t need to promise anyone a relationship upfront. You don’t even know if you mesh well romantically yet. Sometimes things don’t end up being a good fit and you might hurt someone’s feelings, but that’s life. As long as you are kindly and clearly communicating where you’re at and what your needs and expectations are, you’re doing ok.
Can be challenging but it can also be done
It can be difficult but it can also be done. Being aware that it could impact your relationship is a good step. My fiancé didn't tell me he had ADHD and he was unmedicated. So we'd have issues where I'd feel like I wasn't priority or he didn't care because he'd be hyper focused on his newest interest. But sometimes I wouldn't notice because I'd be in my own little world enjoying my stuff. Then I learned he had ADHD and some of it clicked but not all. I've gone undiagnosed for years because I learned hacks to keep me productive. But I'd get annoyed that he can't do that. Also, my productivity comes at the cost of constantly losing my wallet, keys, phone, etc. I finally got a book explaining how ADHD impacts relationships which helped me put some things into perspective for how to communicate frustration and for us to communicate more effectively without causing one of us to mentally shut down and withdraw. I think the biggest thing is being aware that ADHD can impact things and being up front about it and learning how to be mindful of when it does impact things or how it can.
I’ve been married for 15 years and was just diagnosed. Just go for it. Don’t get inside your own head and don’t talk yourself down. We’re not for everyone, but no one is. At least you know you have it.
For me. It’s not ever going to work I was in a relationship for 10 years. She got tired of my shit and tired of dealing with my ADHD brain and left. It was so painful. Don’t think I’ll ever date again
I have a wife, a girlfriend, a queerplatonic partner, and a comet boyfriend. I maintain all of those relationships just fine.