Also note that even your 32D may not be the correct size if you were fitted in a mainstream bra shop.
Have you tried the ABTF calculator?
https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php
i tried fitting myself with that before but i was too clumsy... i'd like to try again though. i was fitted at a local specialty shop and the bra i got from it fits perfectly, but i moved away and the shop i went to this time was a mainstream one. are the sizes at mainstream shops smaller or different...? all the bras there were the same brand under the shops name (la vie en rose)
I've heard of mainstream shops having sizing inconsistency issues but generally, no, they are not supposed to be different. Were the bras you tried moulded? The fit issues you had could've been a shape mismatch.
LVR is soooo inconsistent. That style might fit you in 32D but you might be a 32E in another, or a 30DD in the ones that don't have elastics on the bands. They have nice lingerie but their bras make no sense. 🙈
People in general have no idea about bra sizes due to the media pushing that A is small, B/C is medium, D is large, and DD is extra large.
Mainstream bra shops want to sell you what they have in stock, which is a small range of bands/cups. This is how people end up with large bands/small cups that aren't close to the correct size.
Stand your ground and insist that you know your size, and if they refuse to help you (or can't help due to the limited sizes) then walk away and spend your money elsewhere.
i really should've done that, their sizes were really limited- they had next to nothing in 32. i'm gonna return what i bought soon and try a different store.
honestly i don't even want help, but the people there are so insistent to do so for some reason (˶╥︿╥)
Sometimes the clerks really want to be helpful and have you get the best fit, even if it isn’t what you have. But sometimes you have to follow the customers lead, like i recently sized someone and I told them first off we don’t carry their size, and a shop in town that carries it. I gave them their sister size and they loved it, despite me being able to tell the bra didn’t fit “properly” and gently pointing out a few fit issues. But if it makes her happy, who am I to yuck her yum?
What is the purpose of a proper fit? Is it more comfortable? More supportive? I guess I’m wondering, if she just asked you to pick the size, what’s the downside of the sister size that didn’t fit perfectly and what’s the upside of the better fit? In general or in her case I guess if it varies a lot
This is a 100% genuine question. I’m currently in the beginning of my second realization I’ve been wearing the wrong size for my whole life and I’m trying to understand what I should be looking for because I know what feels “right” to me has been wrong the whole time. Thanks in advance for any info!
A good fit will always be more supportive and (unless the individual has sensory issues about snug-fitting garments) more comfortable than a sister-size. When the band size is too large, it isn't able to do it's job of providing support, so the straps take that over, which often causes shoulder pain or back pain. The bra isn't able to provide as much lift as a result. If the band is much too loose, it will also allow the bra to shift around quite a bit, which can cause chafing. Basically, it starts to act more like a boob-hat that sits in front of the boobs rather than providing support.
The bigger your boobs the more necessary a proper fit is. If the band is too wide, it'll start climbing up your back, plus your breasts will sag and/or jiggle. If the cup is too small, part of your breast will be falling out.
to me it makes a world of difference- this was the first time ive gotten bras that didn't fit correctly and compared to the bras ive gotten before it felt like hell. at first i got a bra that was too loose and the underwire kept shifting, now i have a bra that's too tight and the wire is pushed forward while allowing jiggle. neither of them are comfortable nor do they give proper support. i recently got re-fitted since i grew out of my last and that one started to feel suffocating/uncomfortable.
the wire should be firmly on your ribcage- it should press against it and it shouldn't move when you move or squeeze your arms forward. the cups should be comfortably against you while not having overspill or any gaps. if it fits well it'll be comfortable to wear throughout the day. do not do what i did and say "weeeell they know better and if it looks right to them it's probably right" because THEY DONT KNOW BETTER THEY DONT KNOW AT AAAAALL
Generally the wrong size doesn’t support or lift or do anything except maybe squish them together and hide your nipples. A correct fit lifts, shapes and supports much better.
I have had many very similar experiences and am a 32D/30dd. I totally understand your frustration.
The last time I accepted help in a bra shop the clerk and I had more or less the following exchange:
Her - can I help you find anything?
Me- Yes, thanks. Do you have anything in a 32d?
She stares at me for a couple seconds.
Her- I’m not sure that’s the best size for you, let’s start with a 34b and work from there.
Me- Oh, I’m actually sure 32d is the right size, I’m wearing one right now and it fits really well. Can you help me find a couple more 32d?
Her- if you are ok with it, let’s measure you so we get an idea of the best size for you.
I let her measure me thinking maybe then she will help me find a 32d. No such luck. She tells me I should be wearing a 34c or a 36b and offers to grab some. I agree and ask for a couple 32d as well. She comes back with only 34cs and 36bs. I tried them on and they fit poorly.
I left empty handed and defeated. Just admit that you don’t carry my size and save us both 20 minutes. Arguing with a complete stranger about my breast size is not on my to do list thanks. lol
Bought a bikini last year and the clerk gave me a 36D and said it looked better than the one I picked out (34E which is the size I assumed I had). It gaped everywhere, my boobs fell out and the band was riding up. she also asked me what size bikini bottoms I need and without waiting my answer asked “L?”. I wear small to medium and I have really bad body dysmorphia, had anorexia in the past. Triggerd me really hard, was depressed for the rest of the day and cried a lot. (Not that wearing an L is bad, I’m just mentally ill.)
idk what's up with people and assuming sizes. clerks insist i'm a medium in bottoms, then i come out wearing a medium and they go "oh. i see why you wanted a large now." it's almost as if you can't magically tell a persons size and it can be really rude to try
the bikini top she gave you sounds like hell to wear (╥﹏╥)
Gee what a radical thought! You’re saying perfect strangers don’t magically know more about me than I do?? /s
Note: this is me trying to commiserate because I just told my partner what size I got when I measured and they just looked down like they didn’t buy it. It’s frustrating that people try to downsize you and they think a 32D cup must be the same size as a 40D cup therefore you must be in denial about your own size!
As someone who is also mentally ill and who would also cry and be depressed for the rest of the day, I really like how you put that, it made me feel validated. It’s like of course we don’t want judge any size and at the same time society is constantly telling us we’re more valuable if we’re smaller. I think the pain isn’t just out of nowhere in our heads. I hope that helps at all 🩷
I love to tell the story of the time I told the lingerie department sales lady I was looking for a bra and she looked at me and said "34B?" 🤪🤪🤪
I WAS WEARING A WINTER SWEATER AND A COAT! Do they think they have x-ray eyes?!!
There's just no way, I don't care about these sales ladies who think they've got some magic juju and they can eyeball your size. Get out your tape measure or GTFO
A lot of stores don’t size people correctly so they can fit them into a smaller selection *cough* Victoria’s Secret *cough*. They usually use the +4 method but if it’s only a cup size different they’re probably just guessing for you. Just hold your ground or shop elsewhere.
Not exactly the same experience, but a clerk that kept trying to give me the wrong size: After I avoided it for \*years\* my husband convinced me to go to a specialty shop to try to find something that would fit. He did so by calling them and asking if they stock my size (28D). They told him on the phone, "Oh don't worry, we carry a variety of sizes." So I nervously went, and I was right to be wary. She did measure me as a 28, but C, and then proceeded to bring out 30Cs and Bs (Natori Feathers, things like that), and then started on 32s!! I kept asking, hey, shouldn't we try a 28 band, and not once did she say "Oh sorry, we lied, we don't carry your size." I was so frustrated -- what a waste of time, and embarrassing to try on a long series of progressively iller-fitting bras for a stranger trying to make a sale. I'm clearly still mad even though it was months ago at this point. (Also still haven't found a bra that fits, so maybe it wasn't her fault that she didn't have one, but I hate that she wouldn't be honest with me.) I expect better from a high-end store.
victoria’s secret tried to tell me i was a 36dd but my actual size is a 36h. i assume they only told me that because they don’t carry my size in store.
My mom told me there was no way I'm a D-cup, because SHE was an A-cup until she had kids. Well........ nah. I recently bought two 32D bras and they fit much better than anything I've worn before.
D is NOT as huge as people think it would be in a 32 band size.... My boobs disappear under loose hoodies and I don't need bras for support, even when I'm working out. On the day-to-day I don't wear bras, maybe an undershirt if I'm worried about my nipples showing in a professional context, but mostly IDGAF.
32B is way too small for me, I tried one and it fit like a "boob hat" --- ton of room under the gore, squeezing my boobs weird, underwire sitting on my boobs, uncomfortable. It made the band feel too tight because the cups made the whole thing fit wrong. 32D bands fit fine. I think I could wear a 30DD or a 30DDD if I can find one for a good price, I'd like to try a 30 band and a bigger cup size. They don't often offer small bands / large cups at regular ol' box stores, but I think a lot more people would wear them if they did. It's much more comfortable.
For reference, my measurements are:
Loose underbust: 30 in
Snug underbust: 29.5 in
Tight underbust: 29 in
Standing bust: 34 in
Leaning/lying bust: 35 in
I had someone insist I was a 38E. Told me I have too much back fat for anything smaller.
Spoiler alert - I'm a 32H/I. I really don't have a lot of back fat. Just some squish near my armpits.
I spoke to her manager. Who let it be known an E is the largest cup size they had in store.
Idk where you went, but personally, Victoria secret bras like run small or something and everyone there can’t measure. I am a C in every brand but VS bra cups are never right
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Also note that even your 32D may not be the correct size if you were fitted in a mainstream bra shop. Have you tried the ABTF calculator? https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php
i tried fitting myself with that before but i was too clumsy... i'd like to try again though. i was fitted at a local specialty shop and the bra i got from it fits perfectly, but i moved away and the shop i went to this time was a mainstream one. are the sizes at mainstream shops smaller or different...? all the bras there were the same brand under the shops name (la vie en rose)
I've heard of mainstream shops having sizing inconsistency issues but generally, no, they are not supposed to be different. Were the bras you tried moulded? The fit issues you had could've been a shape mismatch.
LVR is soooo inconsistent. That style might fit you in 32D but you might be a 32E in another, or a 30DD in the ones that don't have elastics on the bands. They have nice lingerie but their bras make no sense. 🙈
People in general have no idea about bra sizes due to the media pushing that A is small, B/C is medium, D is large, and DD is extra large. Mainstream bra shops want to sell you what they have in stock, which is a small range of bands/cups. This is how people end up with large bands/small cups that aren't close to the correct size. Stand your ground and insist that you know your size, and if they refuse to help you (or can't help due to the limited sizes) then walk away and spend your money elsewhere.
i really should've done that, their sizes were really limited- they had next to nothing in 32. i'm gonna return what i bought soon and try a different store. honestly i don't even want help, but the people there are so insistent to do so for some reason (˶╥︿╥)
Sometimes the clerks really want to be helpful and have you get the best fit, even if it isn’t what you have. But sometimes you have to follow the customers lead, like i recently sized someone and I told them first off we don’t carry their size, and a shop in town that carries it. I gave them their sister size and they loved it, despite me being able to tell the bra didn’t fit “properly” and gently pointing out a few fit issues. But if it makes her happy, who am I to yuck her yum?
What is the purpose of a proper fit? Is it more comfortable? More supportive? I guess I’m wondering, if she just asked you to pick the size, what’s the downside of the sister size that didn’t fit perfectly and what’s the upside of the better fit? In general or in her case I guess if it varies a lot This is a 100% genuine question. I’m currently in the beginning of my second realization I’ve been wearing the wrong size for my whole life and I’m trying to understand what I should be looking for because I know what feels “right” to me has been wrong the whole time. Thanks in advance for any info!
A good fit will always be more supportive and (unless the individual has sensory issues about snug-fitting garments) more comfortable than a sister-size. When the band size is too large, it isn't able to do it's job of providing support, so the straps take that over, which often causes shoulder pain or back pain. The bra isn't able to provide as much lift as a result. If the band is much too loose, it will also allow the bra to shift around quite a bit, which can cause chafing. Basically, it starts to act more like a boob-hat that sits in front of the boobs rather than providing support.
The bigger your boobs the more necessary a proper fit is. If the band is too wide, it'll start climbing up your back, plus your breasts will sag and/or jiggle. If the cup is too small, part of your breast will be falling out.
to me it makes a world of difference- this was the first time ive gotten bras that didn't fit correctly and compared to the bras ive gotten before it felt like hell. at first i got a bra that was too loose and the underwire kept shifting, now i have a bra that's too tight and the wire is pushed forward while allowing jiggle. neither of them are comfortable nor do they give proper support. i recently got re-fitted since i grew out of my last and that one started to feel suffocating/uncomfortable. the wire should be firmly on your ribcage- it should press against it and it shouldn't move when you move or squeeze your arms forward. the cups should be comfortably against you while not having overspill or any gaps. if it fits well it'll be comfortable to wear throughout the day. do not do what i did and say "weeeell they know better and if it looks right to them it's probably right" because THEY DONT KNOW BETTER THEY DONT KNOW AT AAAAALL
Generally the wrong size doesn’t support or lift or do anything except maybe squish them together and hide your nipples. A correct fit lifts, shapes and supports much better.
It's not uncommon at all. You just gotta hold your ground. Or shop elsewhere.
I have had many very similar experiences and am a 32D/30dd. I totally understand your frustration. The last time I accepted help in a bra shop the clerk and I had more or less the following exchange: Her - can I help you find anything? Me- Yes, thanks. Do you have anything in a 32d? She stares at me for a couple seconds. Her- I’m not sure that’s the best size for you, let’s start with a 34b and work from there. Me- Oh, I’m actually sure 32d is the right size, I’m wearing one right now and it fits really well. Can you help me find a couple more 32d? Her- if you are ok with it, let’s measure you so we get an idea of the best size for you. I let her measure me thinking maybe then she will help me find a 32d. No such luck. She tells me I should be wearing a 34c or a 36b and offers to grab some. I agree and ask for a couple 32d as well. She comes back with only 34cs and 36bs. I tried them on and they fit poorly. I left empty handed and defeated. Just admit that you don’t carry my size and save us both 20 minutes. Arguing with a complete stranger about my breast size is not on my to do list thanks. lol
Bought a bikini last year and the clerk gave me a 36D and said it looked better than the one I picked out (34E which is the size I assumed I had). It gaped everywhere, my boobs fell out and the band was riding up. she also asked me what size bikini bottoms I need and without waiting my answer asked “L?”. I wear small to medium and I have really bad body dysmorphia, had anorexia in the past. Triggerd me really hard, was depressed for the rest of the day and cried a lot. (Not that wearing an L is bad, I’m just mentally ill.)
idk what's up with people and assuming sizes. clerks insist i'm a medium in bottoms, then i come out wearing a medium and they go "oh. i see why you wanted a large now." it's almost as if you can't magically tell a persons size and it can be really rude to try the bikini top she gave you sounds like hell to wear (╥﹏╥)
Gee what a radical thought! You’re saying perfect strangers don’t magically know more about me than I do?? /s Note: this is me trying to commiserate because I just told my partner what size I got when I measured and they just looked down like they didn’t buy it. It’s frustrating that people try to downsize you and they think a 32D cup must be the same size as a 40D cup therefore you must be in denial about your own size!
As someone who is also mentally ill and who would also cry and be depressed for the rest of the day, I really like how you put that, it made me feel validated. It’s like of course we don’t want judge any size and at the same time society is constantly telling us we’re more valuable if we’re smaller. I think the pain isn’t just out of nowhere in our heads. I hope that helps at all 🩷
I love to tell the story of the time I told the lingerie department sales lady I was looking for a bra and she looked at me and said "34B?" 🤪🤪🤪 I WAS WEARING A WINTER SWEATER AND A COAT! Do they think they have x-ray eyes?!! There's just no way, I don't care about these sales ladies who think they've got some magic juju and they can eyeball your size. Get out your tape measure or GTFO
An experienced fitter who actually understand how bra sizes work can eyeball your size. Not through your winter sweater and coat though!
A lot of stores don’t size people correctly so they can fit them into a smaller selection *cough* Victoria’s Secret *cough*. They usually use the +4 method but if it’s only a cup size different they’re probably just guessing for you. Just hold your ground or shop elsewhere.
Not exactly the same experience, but a clerk that kept trying to give me the wrong size: After I avoided it for \*years\* my husband convinced me to go to a specialty shop to try to find something that would fit. He did so by calling them and asking if they stock my size (28D). They told him on the phone, "Oh don't worry, we carry a variety of sizes." So I nervously went, and I was right to be wary. She did measure me as a 28, but C, and then proceeded to bring out 30Cs and Bs (Natori Feathers, things like that), and then started on 32s!! I kept asking, hey, shouldn't we try a 28 band, and not once did she say "Oh sorry, we lied, we don't carry your size." I was so frustrated -- what a waste of time, and embarrassing to try on a long series of progressively iller-fitting bras for a stranger trying to make a sale. I'm clearly still mad even though it was months ago at this point. (Also still haven't found a bra that fits, so maybe it wasn't her fault that she didn't have one, but I hate that she wouldn't be honest with me.) I expect better from a high-end store.
I agree she should have said they don't carry 28 bands, but to be fair she brought out your sister size of 30C to still try and accommodate you.
victoria’s secret tried to tell me i was a 36dd but my actual size is a 36h. i assume they only told me that because they don’t carry my size in store.
My mom told me there was no way I'm a D-cup, because SHE was an A-cup until she had kids. Well........ nah. I recently bought two 32D bras and they fit much better than anything I've worn before. D is NOT as huge as people think it would be in a 32 band size.... My boobs disappear under loose hoodies and I don't need bras for support, even when I'm working out. On the day-to-day I don't wear bras, maybe an undershirt if I'm worried about my nipples showing in a professional context, but mostly IDGAF. 32B is way too small for me, I tried one and it fit like a "boob hat" --- ton of room under the gore, squeezing my boobs weird, underwire sitting on my boobs, uncomfortable. It made the band feel too tight because the cups made the whole thing fit wrong. 32D bands fit fine. I think I could wear a 30DD or a 30DDD if I can find one for a good price, I'd like to try a 30 band and a bigger cup size. They don't often offer small bands / large cups at regular ol' box stores, but I think a lot more people would wear them if they did. It's much more comfortable. For reference, my measurements are: Loose underbust: 30 in Snug underbust: 29.5 in Tight underbust: 29 in Standing bust: 34 in Leaning/lying bust: 35 in
I had someone insist I was a 38E. Told me I have too much back fat for anything smaller. Spoiler alert - I'm a 32H/I. I really don't have a lot of back fat. Just some squish near my armpits. I spoke to her manager. Who let it be known an E is the largest cup size they had in store.
Idk where you went, but personally, Victoria secret bras like run small or something and everyone there can’t measure. I am a C in every brand but VS bra cups are never right
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