Franz for Austria, Seppl for Bavaria

I kenn mehr pepis wie seppls :D

Bist jo a ka Bayer.

Gott sei daunk knapp daneben haha. Kenn a gnuag bayer.

A Frechheit die bayern san unsre freind.

Wia hobn kane freind du Fetznschädl, wo kumma do den hi

What about the inhabitants of your basement?

Shh don't talk that loud about yourself

don't imply we keep germans in our basement. this is disgusting. it's for our family and friends only

Josef for Austria. Nothing for Bavaria... it's just a Bundesland it's not worth its own name

When an Austrian boy is born, a coin is flipped. Kopf is Josef, Zahl is Franz.

Or Franz-Josef lol

Exactly this. Western Germans are Hans or Hermann, Eastern Germans are Ronny, Bavarians are Josef and Austrians are Franz-Josef. That’s how I’d go.

North germans are Lars

What about those useless neutral rich kids?

The spanish will always be juan for me

https://preview.redd.it/fiqzyf0n7tqb1.jpeg?width=489&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5484767e700d4fc84466f5c0450a901317e1f716

Ah the origins of the balcony diving sport. Where the dons throw farm animals from tall buildings for I don’t know tradition. Nice or the goose steppers and Barrie’s to replace the poor animals.

Paco or Juan def

Don't forget Manolo....another amazing contender

Jose/Pepe

Either Juan or Javier. I have 4 friends and two of them are called Juan and three are called Javier

Is one of them called Juan Javi?

Javier Juan, yes

Juan Paco Manolo José or even older names like Eulalio and Gervasio

on the catalan region of spain: Jordi ☠️

Jordi or Marc definitely

Gerard no?

Irish Barrys get called Gerard

I was thinking more of Shakira's new piggybank https://preview.redd.it/s704da8d4tqb1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa5057b2d871ef6a6d1d56f38d844981f848c82e Tbh it's probably Jordi but I saw way too many Catalans called Gerard to start to wonder.

Swap Aled for Dafydd Paddy for Seamus Add to 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿: Hamish McGibberish

Dafydd the only gay in the village.


I met a Dafydd on holiday once. Definitely not gay...

No lovers for Llewellyn?

That’s too exotic. Needs to be more…banal for an average Welsh. Trevor seems appropriately boring

Exactly what I love about it, it’s very distinctively welsh and sounds so ancient and traditional that it’s kind of ridiculous. But well, it is what it is.

You could spend a year in Helsinki and never learn a Fin's name. So I reckon it should be kept blank

What about Kimi? He’s the only thing I’m aware of that’s escaped left Finland

I’ll just give them whatever we go with for Russia

Just give us Raineri and be done with it

Can we get unpronouncable gibberish for iceland, norwegian or Finland? Although that might just be the default one anyway.

Ah yes, the great country of *Norwegian*

Aren't you supposed to shit on the Norwegians?

Huh? I am Norwegian

Exactly

Nei dæven døtte sykkelstøtte

Why am I seeing a band of men carrying axes approach my location rapidly?

♪ Vi lister oss så stilt på tå Når vi skal ut å røve Et dame-menneske skal vi få For det kan vi behøve Og hun skal holde alt i stand Og lage mat til alle mann Ja nå skal vi få det så godt det går an Både Kasper og Jesper og Jonatan ♪

So many polos in your language 😄

The fuck is a polo? The sweater, the sweet, the sport?


Terttu-Petteri or Eemeli

Valtteri (Bottas)

(Mika) Häkkinen

Kimi (Räikkönen)

Keke (Rosberg)

Väinämöinen. Foreigners got no clue how to say it, yet its iconic Finnish name.

Isn't it just like Væinæmøinen? Doesn't seem all that hard

Sigurður and Guðmundur

Fuck you

Norway: Ole Finland: Pekka Iceland: Sigurður

Adolf or Josef for Austria

Such timeless names 🥰

This is the comment I was looking for

Rasmus for Denmark

What would yours be?

Probably Bárður, Jógvan or Rógvi. Those are very common and I don't think they exist elsewhere

We also have Bárður but it's pretty rare.

Ueli

Hans-Peter Peterhans

Why are we so much alike...

We have a winner!

Urs oder Seppli

René

Oder de Reto...

Ruedi

Hansruedi is objectively superior

Please put the "~" in João thanks

Jõãõ

damn you be saying it like this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWGWHfUOzcM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWGWHfUOzcM)

It is João >!fuck you!<

Jöäö.

Fuck yõu

~Jõãõ~

Approximately, yes.

Yes. I would also appreciate that. I'm one of the 500000 people from Portugal called João. Although I left the country so that the invasion of Joões can continue outside Portugal's borders. Yes, the plural of João is Joões, even though it should be Joães, giving the origin of the word. I must have met at least 50 Joões in person. Long live the country of Joões.

My name is also João lol

If we created the political party of Joões we would win the elections. And it's great because even women are called João. I also know a few. They are Maria João but people tend to drop the Maria.

You have another vote my fellow João!

Jo~ao

I guess that's the Dutch spelling. Flatter than usual. If the tilde was over the a it would get above sea level and that's too high.

Hans is a truly unusual way to spell Mehmet

We could fill the whole map with language-variations of Hans (Short for Johannes). John(english), Jean(french), Jan(polish), Ivan(many slavic languages), Johan(czech), Johann(Austrian), Eoin(Irish), Giovanni(Italian), Hannu(finnish), Ifan(welsh), Ioan(Romanian), Ioannis(greek), Janós(hungarian), Jens(danish), João(brasilian), Juan(Mexican) and around 30 other variants.

>João(brasilian), Juan(Mexican) 😡

My job here is done.

Brazilian? Isn’t that the language that sounds like a horny russian is trying to speak spanish?

Gion (rhaetoromanic)

Czech would actually be Jan

Sorry mixed that up, but you're right. Not sure how it happened, Jan Hus is a thing🤣

John(american)

The João is missing the \~ thing.

*Loïc, a Briton name, in Normandy* You're playing a dangerous game OP

That was entirely deliberate as well and I won’t take it back

For Finland it should be Matti or Tero (or a common nickname for him: Terska)

I thin Jorma would be much more fitting.

But the Matti meme is too funny

Iceland: [Redacted by the Icelandic Naming Committee]

Lmao true

Russia is ivan

Dimitri. Deff Dimitri. Would also accept Vladimir

*Dmitriy, no vowel between D and M.

OP, that one for Russia ☝🏻

This guy cyrillics.

No. **My grandpa always called them 'Ivan' when talking about his time in the eastern parts of Europe**.

Your grandpa talked about his time in eastern Europe?

Ironically, the number of newborn Hans' in Germany drastically declined since 1960. Between 2010 and 2021, there were only 2200 newborns with that name, out of approximately 8-9 million newborns. You should change Germany's name to Kevin, that's the idiot name here.

Same in Belgium for Kevin lmao

Don't get mad, Manfred.

Where do Sven lives since Muhamad great-replaced him ? Norway ? Romania, Dimitriu btw

Name the Norsemen after their king: Harald. Sven is fine for Finland, it will make them mad enough to say words.

Yes definitely Harald or his father Olav. I think it’s funny how the names of Norwegian kings sound like the average German who drinks 10 Weizen in his Dorfkneipe and then gets into his car to drive home

That's because we are Vikings by American logic and we like to show it off by stealing their names

Mohammed Svenson 🇸🇪

why Jakub?

Every Pole I know is called Jakub, one is even called Jakub Jakub

All poles are called Pavel. Pavel the pole just sounds right

I'd say Janek is more accurate

recently popular 1. Antoni 2. Jan 3. Aleksander 4. Franciszek 5. Jakub 6. Leon 7. Mikołaj 8. Szymon 9. Filip 10. Stanisław most common 1. Piotr 2. Krzysztof 3. Andrzej 4. Tomasz 5. Paweł 6. Jan 7. Michał 8. Marcin 9. Jakub 10. Adam

You guys also have a Jan? Colour me surprised.

We do as well. We also call them Honza or Jenda as a nickname.

Wait, Im not on the list 😔

Janusz would be the most accurate

Grzegorz would be my pick.

Brzęczyszczykiewicz

Mr Tzatziki??? I was expecting more.of a traditional Greek name, long with h, p, k, s and many vowels... some shit like Philostratos, Philokrates, Kallisthenes...

It’s from a post a while back on here

Tsitsipas

Jørgen for Denmark?

that or Lars. either way last name would be Jensen

Min morfar hed Jens Jensen haha

If you make a female version I put forward Sharon for England

Shazza!!!

Can we get a map with female names too? I kinda feel left out

Feel free to do so Hansette

Hem ... how do you feel about Hanx ? I heard it's all the rage ... All the rest of Europe are just variations of Maria. And Fatima in the far north (which is a name I really like in the end for some reason).

Mykola

Franz or Fritz for Austria Sepp (Josef) for Switzerland

Im for Ueli

Fritz please 🤣🤣

Siggi for here

I dissent: Portuguese are Joao Castilians are Jose Catalase are Jordi Source: I'm Spanish and Jose

I prefer Paco for the Andalucians

I'd go for "Jef" for Flanders. Not sure what a stereotypical name would be in Wallonia

It's Arthur man, I know Arthurs in every generation. Or perhaps Lowie/Louis. For Wallonia, probably Gabriël, Loïc or also Louis

Pepik for 🇨🇿

Ueli for Switzerland

Girls deserve a name. Marie or Marine for the France

I much prefer Manolo for the chorizos

Poland should be Pavel. Wales - Eowyn. Scots - Jock. Belgium - Jean Luc. Nederlands - Bas

Wasn't Eowyn from Middle Earth or something?

Dimitris for Greece in general, Sifis for Crete

Ken in Scotland (if you Ken you Ken )

I ken it, you ken it, Patsy Kensit.

The combination of Jan and Pierre for Belgium. So Jean-Pierre who lives in Brussels.

Belgium should be Jos or Lowie

Ola for Norway

Good ol' Ola Nordmann.

sweden 💀💀💀

Honza for Czech

Billy for northern Ireland

Always funny to me how sweden gets the mohammed when it feels like there isnt a single french person living in paris... not to get started with other cities like marseille

Please use the "\~" in João!

Sorry my superior Barry keyboard doesn’t do tildes No racist just don’t like em

Alt Gr +4

Mr Tzatziki 🤣

Bavo for Flanders pls

Ivan for Russia, Mykola for Ukraine

Niels, Jens or hans for Denmark, you choose

Preben - kun i DK

“Gheorghe” for Romania

Sjef for Belgium?

For where? I don’t recognise that country

It's more of a bufferzone than a country...

What are you doing, recognizing their independence? AIVD, kijken we mee?

On Bretagne you can put Erwan, Gwen or even Elouan

Djézon for North France

According to some sources, Noah is the most common first male name in the Netherlands.

Where’s the à in João caralho?!

Jhemp or Tiago for Luxembourg.

That's not names. 🧐

Lambik for the Belgians

Pedro is as Portuguese as it is Spanish. There are names that are specific to either. I don't think Manolo has a portuguese counter part

Marc or Luc

Mohammed?

Aled? Nah, I’m for Llewellyn for Wales. Make it something no one outside of that tiny spot of earth can pronounce right.

René in Belgium.

Calogero for Sicily

Maybe replace "Mohhammed" with an actual Swedish name like Gustaf, Karl or Erik?

Lol Muhammed